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The Podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.

I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.

I saw this when I come.

And be one of us.

Hello, and welcome to The Podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 173, ka-pow!

Me and Dan are, whoo-hoo-hoo, Kung Fu Cruddy Masters.

Yeah, that's right, baby.

I'm Dan, I'm Sensei Daniel-san.

And I'm Gav.

You are Black Belt Gav.

Black Belt Gav.

There we go.

Don't know why we're doing that because what we're talking about on this episode is nothing.

No, absolutely nothing.

We're not doing any martial arts movies whatsoever.

It's because I'm sticking my foot up like that.

Welcome to The Podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 173, Gavin has said.

Welcome.

I hope everyone's happy, safe.

Well, everything else in the world.

Healthy.

Wealthy.

I hope everyone's wealthy.

Healthy, wealthy and full of stealthy, baby.

Yeah, it's a bit different from the point break one.

Exciting.

This is a Patron.

Gav, have you got something to say to my listeners who are new or returning?

If you are coming back.

I have to write it down.

Literally, my mind has to think about it.

It's such an easy thing.

I'll help you if you're a regular.

Welcome back.

If you're a part-time.

Or a first time.

Sorry, if you're a first time.

Welcome front.

And if you're someone who just listens in now and again.

All around the side.

Yeah, my brain just can't initially get the stepping block to get going.

We'll write it down for you.

You want to post it?

I should not just have it on my Mac here.

I could do it each time.

But yes, it's a patron pick, which means for anyone who doesn't know, we have patrons, very kind, beautiful, sexy patrons.

And one of their privileges is every three episodes, one of our patrons gets to pick what we watch.

Tell us why they want us to watch it, what they think of it.

And Matthew Godley is our king patron of this episode.

Matthew Godley.

Let me get the crown out.

Where was it?

That's the cock ring.

That's the wrong one.

Here we go.

Here's the crown.

That's nice and shiny.

Pop that on his head.

Imagine me, virtual head.

Head on his shoulders, of course.

He is our king patron, and he has selected a couple of doozies for us.

Now, Matthew kicked off this whole thing.

He's the one that suggested patron picks.

So very special place in our heart.

Thank you, Matthew.

And he's selected...

Yeah.

1986, crazy creature feature, phantasm on acids.

Who knows how you describe it?

Is it six films meshed together?

I don't know, but it's 1986 is Spookies.

Yeah.

You've all heard it.

Some of you have probably seen it.

I had never seen it.

It's one that's kind of well known in the horror community, whether you've seen it or not is another question.

So that's a bit of light.

We're going to do that one first from 1986.

That's the sort of light bite, and the main course that he selected for us to get our teeth into later on is Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange from 1971.

That is an ET sandwich.

That is, I think, more of a fuller conversation than the first one.

Yes, I think so as well.

We'll have fun with Spookies, but I think we might end up crying with little clamps on our eyes by the end of the second conversation.

So that's that.

And also Bill Murray will be popping in for World Of The Strange.

He's told me it's something to do with an experiment he wants to do on me.

So Lord knows what that will be.

Hopefully, it doesn't involve clamps on my eyes or anywhere else.

He messaged me in the week and told me what it was.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

He sent me diagrams and pictures and all sorts.

It started in the 1700s.

It's not good.

I think I've seen this in a museum in Amsterdam.

What, the Sex Museum?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's right.

OK, cool.

Well, that's what's happening in this episode 173.

Other than that, we're finding Dandy.

Gav, what have you been up to?

What have you been doing?

What have you been watching?

The past weekend, I've been working for Deadbolt Films very, very, very hard.

Deadbolt Films is a little side company, Bone Idol Comics.

Do follow Bone Idol Comics on Instagram to see all the comics which are being produced and made because we've got lots on the go, still lots to come.

We spent all weekend packing Eldritch Lust 3, episode 3.

So if you kickstarted it and you put it in, it will start getting to you.

We're getting all the British ones out first because it's not going through Trump's tariffs and all Brexit and everything else because it's in mainland.

Then we will get the others out.

It's just taking a little bit long time.

But I've been doing that all weekend.

That's pretty cool.

Amanda's totally finished as far as I am concerned because I can't do it anymore.

It's now looking at the footage.

It's now been six years been making this film.

Anyway, Amanda's finished.

So for anyone who doesn't know, just to interject, Amanda starts off during the pandemic as a series of short, connected found footage.

Well, it's a found footage story told in small segments.

However, it was decided that we would splice this together into a feature and had it out a little with bits and bobs.

Yeah, there was just a couple of bits in it, which wasn't a huge amount.

When I actually took the bits out and he looked at it as a block, you're like, oh, there's those bits and those bits got me filled in.

So that's a lot to be filled in.

But there's some really good bits in it, which are not.

It's like, I can't just throw this away.

There's some kind of cool bits in it.

One of them, you know, the main one.

Yeah, that one.

I had to do a hand signal for it.

That's just, that's gold.

It's literally the most goldest.

I can pay for stock footage of it.

I don't think, you know.

Anyway, we're going to release on YouTube on a deadbolt channel for free.

We decided to keep the distribution rights rather than put it out and go through distributors because then it would go out for $9.99 on Amazon and then eventually go for free on Amazon and Prime and then it would go to like Plex and all that other stuff and Rokey or whatever, but yeah, we decided to keep the rights that way we can produce DVDs and hope to use some limited edition VHS tapes of it, which we're going to sell at conventions and things.

Speaking of which, we're at a convention next month and that is also going to be co-aligned with when we're releasing Amanda in Farm Brothers Are Horrified, which is a convention weekend of like 25th of April next month.

If you're sort of around, come down.

Robert England's there.

A lot of the cast of the original Hellraiser are there.

Yeah, loads of stuff, loads of stuff going on.

Anyway, so I've been busy doing that, but also I have been watching a few movies.

Sarah came down, we watched some bits and bolls.

I'll tell you what I did watch actually before I got on to Sarah's one.

I watched with Elijah, Transformers 1.

Yes, the animated one that's like the telling of how Megatron and Optimus Prime were friends and then...

Have you seen it?

I haven't, but I've heard about it.

You know me, I'm a geek.

I know this.

It's really good.

Really?

Yeah, it's really good.

I really enjoyed it.

I was put off.

Some good humor as well, actually.

I was put off.

I will watch it, but I was put off because I thought, why are they making them friends for us?

It's like, it's a bit to me like in Smallville, the series where the Clark Kent and Lex Luthor were best friends.

Yeah.

In that series, but then that kind of did work in Smallville.

So I guess I did like Smallville.

So I guess it would kind of work in this.

And at the end of the day, it's a fucking animated cartoon about some giant robots that can transform.

So who am I to say what's realistic and what's not really?

It's worth a watch.

But you know, like it's one of these things.

I watched these movies with like Elijah and I could say to Sarah, but she's like, well, when am I going to sort of sit and watch, say, Tracks Wars 1?

I know you would, but say, for example, the average person probably wouldn't.

So I don't know.

But I actually thought it was a pretty good film overall.

You know, yeah, Sarah came by, set up the projector, watched a few movies, watched the movies for this.

Didn't watch Spookies on the big one, though.

Watched the movie Blood.

Haven't seen that for a little while.

I drink your milkshake.

I drink it all up.

Is that the one?

Daniel Day-Lewis, yeah.

Fantastic stuff.

I did the original Evil Dead on there.

A Clockwork Orange is good.

But this week I've had a Jason Statham thing.

More of a Guy Ritchie thing going on this week.

I don't know why.

All of a sudden I was like, right, that's it.

So I watched, I actually watched a few of them.

I watched Operation Fortune again.

I haven't seen it.

Really?

I watched it again.

And I don't know why I was really pissed off.

I must have not been very happy this time.

I completely gave it another three ratings.

I gave it a seven out of 10.

I was like, no, I really enjoy it.

It's basically a James Bond film.

Audrey Plaza, whatever her name is, she's in it.

And I think, I don't really like her.

She's kind of weirdly cast.

But apart from that, it's kind of like a James Bond film.

Or no, it's kind of James Bond and Mission Impossible, where it's like the team with one person, Jason Statham doing the thing.

But it's, I don't know, it's quite enjoyable.

Hugh, no, Richard Grant's in it.

No, not Richard Grant.

Yeah.

Yeah, Richard Grant.

Richard E.

Grant, yeah.

Yeah, I think it was Richard Grant.

Also did Lethal Weapon on a big screen, which is nice.

I did a couple of other films.

I think I was kind of having a bit of a Henry Cavill week as well, funny enough.

It's a bit weird.

Oh, he's a handsome man.

Just so I'm trying to get to what I watched, I do apologize.

They're all Guy Ritchie films, to be honest with you.

Just while you're looking at that, you might have just solved Amazon Prime's quest for the next Bond.

I've just realized it should be Statham.

That'd be hilarious, isn't it?

The name's fucking 007.

Bond.

That should be Dandora.

I watched The Ministry of Ungenerously Warfare again.

Still haven't seen that.

Oh, I really enjoyed that one because that's like just basically a bunch of guys who are like these are like crazy fuckers in this World War II.

Like, go on, off you go.

You know, go and do a mission first with no one knows about it.

OK, no worries.

Really enjoyable.

You've recommended that to me in the past.

They steal a giant boat or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's really enjoyable, actually.

And I did another one as well.

I can't remember what it was.

I was doing just Guy Ritchie movies and shit, really.

That's kind of how I was this week with things.

Apart from that, man, not much, you know, busy.

I'm busy with dead bulk films.

Getting Amanda finished has been my main priority.

And it's been six years in the making.

And they can fuck off now.

They can go out to the world.

I don't have any.

I have no hand in it now.

It's the world's film now, not mine anymore.

It's a shame it's not called Felicia, because then you could say, bye Felicia.

I could do it, bye Amanda.

Well, I've been busy.

I've only really managed to watch one film of note, really.

And that's a film from 2011.

I've got a new job, so I've been extremely busy getting to grips with that.

Really enjoying it though.

And obviously children, who are returning four in a couple of months, so they're taking up all my time as well.