THE PODCAST ON HAUNTED HILL EPISODE 147 – DEAD MAN’S SHOES AND FLASH GORDON
The podcast on haunted hill will contain spoilers and swearing.
I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.
I saw this icon.
Be one of us.
I didn't tell you my name.
I didn't tell you my name.
Oh, pardon.
Oh, it cries out.
It is time to keep your opinion.
Hello and welcome to the podcast on haunted hill episode 147.
My name is Gav.
Gav, you always sound like you're right to present the equestrian or the darts or something like that.
Yeah, it could be the darts, couldn't it?
And welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the bridge gym at Gymnastics.
Gymnastics.
Gymnastics.
It's darts and gymnastics.
Jackie Chan, the gold medal winner, as he does a backflip and through three darts at the same time.
That's he got a ball, so ladies and gentlemen, no he has a pool.
Let's get up next gym, next gym, and throw in darts at the same time.
It's episode 147.
There's a couple of special things on this one, Gav.
Firstly, happy new year.
Happy new year, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
So everybody goes to Scotland's aliens and everything else.
And everybody in between.
Yes, it's our first episode of 2024.
It's the first episode of the year.
It's great.
It's still a bit chilly out there, so you can still have an excuse to watch Kurt Russell's
The Thing or John Garbage's The Thing, whichever you prefer.
Did you know I'm a little video?
I did like your little video, that Gav did.
If anyone hasn't seen it, Gav did a little video where he spliced himself into a scene from the thing.
So convincingly.
No convincingly, then a lot of blue screen, you see these days.
Well, I actually can have done it a little bit better.
I was actually just this week, down I did the Resolve Studio, I think she was a little coloured,
like, program.
The Studio version, which is the full version you have, like Magic Mask and stuff like that.
So I was testing it.
And I said to Elijah, I was like, "Do you tomorrow just want to go out, and I could put you in a scene of one of your favourite things like one piece.
You could be in there, you could dress up as a pirate being there."
No, that sounds stupid.
That was like, look.
So I literally turned around and did it and then I could literally stood there, did it very quickly.
And then half an hour said, "Look, there you go.
I'll just put myself in my favourite movie."
"Oh, well, it's cool, we still didn't do it."
But regardless, that was the idea, intention.
But yeah, it's quite easy to do, so not a green screen or nothing.
It's just masking me, placing me on top of the, yeah, it's all the way.
That's on my face, on my face, on my page if anybody wants to check it out.
If you've got to find it, ask us a little linky to the little link.
That's good fun.
But yeah, so it's new year.
We'll talk more about new year in a moment, but also just a...
[BEEPING]
Dust it off this crime.
Oh, I thought you were kissing me.
No, no, I'm dusting off the crime because it's a...
[BEEPING]
Patron's big.
Patron's big.
So for this episode of the year, kicks off with a patron, a patron pick,
and we are on our second round now.
So funny.
So the man that started it all, the man that came up with the plan, Matthew Godly, is back.
He is the man responsible for us laughing.
Matthew, badly.
Matthew, badly.
Matthew, badly.
He made us almost die from laughter when we watched Hanson Grattle and the Porridge,
Donkey's stealing and seeing that time around.
And we did the Dracula with a big wanking wear off in the bush.
So Donkey's head no window will lick my bowl.
Yeah, that always killed you, didn't it?
It just sounds like such a rude thing.
So he has selected two very different films.
And you'll know what they are because you've already clicked the thumbnail.
But just for the record, we will be getting gritty, down low, and our emotions will be
pummeled to a Bolivian with a sledgehammer in the 2004 British film, Deadman Shoes.
Oh, it's going to be an interesting conversation, a great film though.
And we are also covering the Camp Cult classic, try saying that three times in a row.
That is the 1980 Bright and Glitzy Colorful Shimmery and Magical looking...
Flash Gordon from 1980 Matthew Godly, Hugh Sonnever Garden.
What have you done to us? This is brilliant.
So here's your crime. Let's just get that.
There we go. And you are the king, the king for the episode.
And we will read your email as we go through.
And your reasons, there was why you picked these two films and your thoughts on them.
Thank you so much and thank you to all our patrons.
And we look forward to these. I've started reaching out to our patrons who are coming up next.
I'm going to try and do it in the order that we did it in before.
So as long as everybody sort of replies, I can hopefully we can keep that moving throughout this year.
But yeah, that's what we're covering this year.
This episode, not this year, but like you know.
Cuff, it's new year. Have you made any New Year's resolutions?
Not really. Last year, my New Year's resolutions was to see friends more and go skateboarding more.
And I kind of did both of them. I skate loads last year, which is good.
So I'll just carry on trying to do that a bit.
But this year, I haven't had much work. I've been really lazy since the beginning.
Apart from New Year's Day, when Ben and John came over and we played with Ben's very nice camera.
Above Matt, been really lazy to have you got like anything going on with like the years resolutions.
To be honest with you, not really. I haven't drank for about six months now.
So probably tend to carry on doing that.
Yep. And the same goes for my wife. But I'm not really with the kids.
Where do you stop drinking your wife?
I'm going to start drinking her blood on a regular basis.
With the kids, it's difficult to make any plans or decisions or resolutions.
Because yeah, I might want to eat healthier, but also I have to kind of eat on the go sometimes.
So sometimes the packet of biscuits has to do the trick, really.
I think you did a resolution. It's like the bollocks.
If you need to, you need to do things. Just fucking do them. Don't wait.
Yeah. I think people see it as a good sort of breaking point of fresh start.
Yeah. For me, like last year, like I said, good see friends more and go skate more.
That's like, they're quite good positive things. It's not as pushing more positive into my life.
Not like, right. That's it. I'm going to stop doing it.
But I guess for some people they're like, it's a good point to stop start fresh.
So I understand.
I guess I'd like to see friends more this year. I didn't really see many people last year.
I still work from home. So I don't do much other than go out with the kids.
So it's difficult at this age, really, for me to socialise with people with that.
A little monkey hanging off my shoulder again.
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, I need a biscuit.
And it's totally different for me because Elijah's now to the point where he's kind of a bit like.
It doesn't really need to hold hands walking on the road and just kind of past it.
So I'm at point man, they don't need.
Are you saying so? No, hold my hand. Hold my hand.
To the point man, it's just like, oh, come on, give us a cuddle.
So enjoy it because it will go.
Yeah.
I did start the year with getting a tattoo though.
You did, yeah.
Evil dead leg. I'm working on this big, big piece of my leg.
But I haven't shown it yet because it's not finished because I've got to go back and do another day on it to put the cabin in and stuff.
Yeah. I saw a little snippet, a little bit of flash in the video you sent me.
Or was that something else?
That was something else.
Well, let's get into what we've been watching.
And that's a good segue actually because of a film I watched yesterday, which isn't horror but it's very much reminded me of late night channel 4 on a Sunday evening watching European
softcore film.
Okay.
Soul bird.
Oh yeah, it's seen this.
Yeah, Alice. Well, everyone's been raving about it and Alice had it on and I said, I don't really want it. It's not really at my cup of tea really.
So I was prepping this episode funny enough what it was on.
So it was on. I didn't pay too much attention to it.
But it looked very, it was supposed, I know it's supposed to be incredibly shocking and bits I saw that were supposed to be shocking.
That much, but you might have a different opinion. Go for it. Tell me.
Oh, no, it's just, but I don't know. I kind of enjoyed the film as I knew that the person was slowly working his way through without trying to spoil it when he feels like his work is way through people and get his own way over them.
So I was enjoying that much for it really.
It's just a strange movie, but yeah, there's lots of weird stuff.
I think it's actually a thing. It's like a lot of Cronenburg, you said your stuff almost at time.
Like, Shagging a girl or licking out a bath plug.
But, but yeah, yeah, but the thing was what was interesting over it and there's like full front or male news, which I, which I think is good.
Yeah, I think it's good to have penis in film as much as it is anything because yeah.
We started this show on the foundations of Old Man's Coat and we stand by that.
We don't stand by Old Man's Coat because that'd be a bit weird to stand in.
But, like the shot, laugh and add it, shot of the man having sex with a grave is just the picture.
And it was in the square format the picture was, which was really strange choice.
The straight way was just like, oh, okay, this is cinema.
So everyone's watched this movie and I was like, okay, we're watching cinema as you're the kind of class it has.
But that shot there, it was pouring and fraying. The camera just locked off for ages and then just slightly stopped doing it but filled behind him.
I was like, it's like European cinema.
It looked amazing and it was really well produced.
Yeah, I appreciate it for that.
Yeah, yeah, I really did. It's a strange movie.
I don't know if anybody that really enjoyed it though, but for me, it was just another one of these 50 shades of grey.
Oh my god, it's incredibly shocking.
But only if you haven't watched a lot of terrible horror movies like we have, I suppose.
Well, it's a different thing. It's a, it's a, it's a cool kind of a, who's the dude at the, the, the movies, the British director?
Not Michael Winner. Got the one with Oliver Reed as the, the Devils.
I can't remember what it's called.
Anyway, that is a film I watched and had lots of nice, but I never expected sexual things.
I never expected sexual things.
Come on and say that you'd watch that.
You surprised me. I wouldn't get it. You surprised me every time.
I know I wasn't getting it and then just kind of just, I was just like, oh, I was going to watch that.
But funny enough, another thing I, I take, take a subscription with Paramount Plus.
And that, now it's like my full-blowny subscription, but not I'm going to keep it more of a present for my parents because they were watching Yellowstone,
and then it went off the regular telly so they wanted to like watch it.
And I was like, okay, I do this and my mom's like, I'll go fast with you.
All right, okay. So we're going halfs on the screen a month.
Bless her. 'Cause she could watch it. But I started watching her program on there with Sam Elliott.
Oh, your favorite.
Really good. He's, oh, really good.
Called 1883.
Oh, yeah. I've heard of this. It's supposed to be really good.
Really good. So I'm kind of like binging that, which is like a Western show.
I said to my mum, she's like, oh, yeah, father, I love it.
And Sam Elliott is just leading a group of immigrants, their coaches across America or wherever.
And it just got granted up a group of cowboys to go with him to do it.
And it's just that get across water, smallpox, native Americans with bone arrows and shit.
And you know, all that.
We love a Western, though. We do.
And yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's just looks, it looks, it looks fantastic for TV is the, you know, as it is now,
it's a TV, but it looks like you're watching a full on epic.
'Cause Western old Westerns like once by time of Western, generally big epic Westerns.
And I love that stuff. We're really get absorbed in it.
And this is fantastic. So I definitely recommend.
And also there, they've got all the new people.
Some better episodes.
Amazing.
Yes.
So.
So I mean, Sarah, gonna binge him up. It was by this weekend.
Nice one.
Well, talking to Binging, I have in speaking with our buddy, R.J. McCready, who recently said,
"Oh, Dan, I know if you watched the new creep show, and I had seen the new creep show."
But he said, "Oh, season three is now on, prime, blah, blah, blah."
And I said, "Do you know what? I don't really remember a creep show.
I'm gonna go back and watch it."
So I've been bingeing my way through season one.
I'm about to start season two. If anyone's got prime, go check it out.
It's on Shudder, actually, I believe.
It's so much fun and so many nods.
I don't think I was paying attention the first time I watched it when it first came out.
It actually came out in 2019.
Well, season four is about to drop on prime on Shudder as well.
So, they've got a lot of famous people, not just from horror, but from all over.
Lots of nods to other horror films and TV shows.
So, have you watched any of the new creep show?
I remember "A We're All The We're All The Nazis" with Jeffrey Coombs, is that one?
I think I see anyone I'm saying. I know Jerry Lynch's direction.
Yeah, they're really good.
And because it's two episodes, each episode is two stories.
So, really, if you wanted to, you could just watch the 25 minute story and then turn it off
and then go back and watch the next one whenever you want.
So, it's really worth watching and you chew through it so quickly.
I love a good binge.
I also binge another show which I've been raving about to everyone that will listen,
which I was very late to the boat on.
And this kind of ties into your other podcast as well.
And I watched ancient apocalypse on Netflix with Graham Hancock, the famous journalist,
who basically is trying to prove that man is much, much older than we thought.
And that pyramids and lots of other structures are basically signs of a different type of human
that lived much, much longer ago than we thought.
Most of them were white-toucher in a great flood, which all ancient cultures and religion speak of.
And that's not a coincidence. I've always believed that.
And then a few of those survivors left over, whether they're from Atlantis or wherever you might want to think,
they then told, because all of a sudden, mankind learned farming in like 500 years,
and learned civilization and building and agriculture and architecture,
all within very short spaces and all very similar architectures and religions.
They learned to go to fly to the moon within like 50 years or something.
What? Didn't about that.
But if you haven't seen it, it almost got banned on US Netflix because the scientific world is so stubborn
and won't accept anything other than...
It's both, though, that amazement.
And religion as well. They won't accept anything other than the story is the story.
Yeah, well, scientists have got their credentials and they don't want to say,
"Oh, shit, I'm wrong," because it makes them look foolish.
And then fighting against that on the other side has got religious elements where you're not going to do that.
You're not going to look further into that or you're not going to do that.
Or that goes against what the Bible says, so that can't be true.
It was labeled as the most dangerous show on that flicks when it first dropped.
Yeah. Because then, because if you then just proved like the Bible,
and said, "See, this doesn't actually work because this was before the Bible,"
then there were sudden that puts that in that whole ideological thing into shifting.
But I would highly recommend it. I believe it's about six, maybe eight episodes,
but I think there's only six episodes. And there are only about 40 minutes each.
It's called Ancient Apocalypse on Netflix and it's fascinating.
If you're into ancient aliens or just that finding out a bit more about where we came from
and why things like Pyramids and the Great Flood and all of these other things feature so heavily
in so many different cultures and religions from around the world.
It's a really, really good show. I know you recently, Segway, covered Pyramids
on the high-strangence podcast with Sarah, didn't you?
Which ties into that. What are my favourite things? It's so fascinating.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. And the discoveries I keep finding of stuff of technology.
Like, the technology you which you didn't have like clogs and like workings,
which should not have been working before they had invented the will.
Even things like there was types of paper they were writing on that.
And that paper was from that region.
I don't know why there'd be like, there's absolutely no way we would have first ever on this planet.
Really?
Yeah, and I'm not. And the last we probably walked out.
I'm not saying it was aliens or we were bred for aliens, but I'm saying that there's definitely more than just...
We're like a, we're like in a pinball machine in space and inverse. The chance of us at the same hit in us is quite possible.
We're lucky as it happened again.
Really, really good show. But the other one I watched, the another movie I watched,
not the tail end of Christmas, because I was still watching Christmas films up until about a week ago,
because I had a few on my list. It was one that you'd recommended. And that was Mel Gibson.
Fatman.
Oh yeah, yeah. That was a good film.
If anyone hasn't seen it, it's a bit like Violet Night, but also not.
It's much more serious than that.
Yeah, I was good trying to get started watching, but I don't think she's really having it.
I don't like being in my mind.
But I thought Mel Gibson was really, really good in it.
The story was really good. And it's kind of like John Wick almost at the story,
wasn't it a little bit as well? You had a hitman to get him and stuff.
Very, I just wasn't expecting it to be that good.
And obviously I was going to watch it anyway, but when you told me you'd enjoyed it and said it really through,
because you weren't expecting the way that the story went.
So I highly recommend it, if anybody hasn't seen it.
Fatman.
Really, really good.
Anything else you wanted to talk about? I've got one other one, but
no, I've been watching stuff, but you know, the any other one I would mention is one back from 2017,
which I watched the other night and it started a little bit of a chatter on the Facebook page,
which is the evil within from 2017.
Sorry.
I haven't actually seen it, but I knew that.
Yeah, sorry Michael Berryman has a spooky villain in it lives in a mirror,
some really interesting film.
I kind of was very, when it finished, I didn't love it, but also I didn't hate it.
There was like this, it's a really visually striking at times,
and it got really daring film.
It goes places that very old.
And some of it is a bit like some of the acting is a bit rubbish,
but there's a really interesting backstory behind it,
which is that the director Andrew Getty actually died before they finished editing it and nailing it dying,
really. They've been there for a...
It's his only film.
Yeah, and he actually died from, I think it was methamphetamine overdose.
He was a terrible drug addict.
And yeah, it's just got a lot of interesting things with the backstory to it.
So I think that's what slightly elevates it.
It does sometimes, we've discussed this before, sometimes a film can be okay on paper,
but when you actually find out the stuff that goes on behind the scenes,
it's slightly elevated sometimes and make you realise that literal blood sweat and tear
sometimes it goes into making stuff, or the sad stories that go on behind them,
or the good things.
So I would recommend it.
It was on prime.
It's on prime to watch for free with free V, so you got adverts.
But if you wanted to check it out, it's just over an hour and a half long and it's definitely worth your time.
Maybe one human's arrow could cozy up to and watch together.
There's a really interesting scene with a human zipper in it, which is all I'll say.
But yeah, that was the last one I wanted to mention, really.
Oh, so show a weird...
One other thing.
What is the other thing that's special about this episode?
What's so special about this episode?
Well, we've given Bill Murray the...
Because he's had a busy year with us.
It's Chris Mus.
He likes to take off for the beginning of January.
He has to hang over for about three weeks.
But he's also finishing up Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire, isn't he?
So we've got to let him go and do the press run and all that, so he's been busy with his proton pack,
busting ghosts and all that.
Well, he told me he wasn't going to talk at the press conference.
That doesn't surprise me.
It doesn't talk when he's on our show.
I don't see...
Just not talk.
I know.
I remember specifically when we first met him in the bar and he was wasted and said, "Hey guys,
how come on your show?"
We're like, "He's not going to come on a show.
It's amazing."
We met Bill Murray and he obviously couldn't share the photos because he said, "Don't share the photos."
So me and you asked, "Only saying it's now."
So obviously, don't everybody listen to him.
Don't tell Bill.
So, about Bill and all just...
And he said, "We can come on a show."
And I was like, "Wow, I can't believe you met Bill Murray.
Here's those pictures of us."
"Oh my God, that's all like comparing penises.
How weird that was.
I was like, "Drunken even."
But he said, "Don't share the pictures.
I didn't expect him then to be on every episode for past few years."
Just to introduce it and close that word of the strange.
It's just one of those Bill Murray things.
So weird, he says he come, "Don't you like, "Yeah, okay."
And then he just won't go.
It's like, "You can leave if you want that."
But we've given him the episode of.
And that means...
He's probably at a window trying to get...
Well, that means that I have had to go to my shed
and get the tarpaulin pulled off of the old time machine.
Because we are going to be done in our special silver suits
and getting in the time machine.
Because time team is back, baby.
Time team, back again.
We are going to be covering the year 2023.
As we always do in the January of every episode
that starts in top of the year.
So yes, that's the other thing I wanted to mention is...
Not only is it a Patreon pic, not only is it the first episode of the year,
but also it's a time team episode.
Jamie will.
She loves that y'all, da.
It's that true liberty sticking out the ground.
Don't spoil it.
Well, let's take a break.
Yes.
Go make some copies.
Because we are about to talk about Dead Man Shoes.
Here's a trade-off for that, for fuck's sake.
People who commit evils in God's eyes are not beyond redemption.
We're going to have to go back to town in a bit of mate to sort some business out.
I don't want to care, Richard.
I don't want to care.
What did you do to him?
What did you do?
I don't want to get into that one now.
I'm off.
Sit a bit, eh?
Sit a bit.
We'll find ya.
It's...
...the ugly's brother in it.
It's ugly's brother.
There are a lot of this ridiculous idea that he was mate.
Make a being very nervous, Richard.
You should be.
Follow you.
I can handle him. I can handle him.
Get out of here, man.
I'm gonna hit you all.
You get to me first.
He ain't gone away for us. He's gotta get done.
God will forgive them.
He'll forgive them and allow them into heaven.
Oh no!
I can't live without.
Sorry, sorry.
You know I am.
You're in trouble.
[Music]
Okay, so that was the trade over Deadman Shoes.
So before Gav gives us the synopsis, the official IMDB synopsis and details,
I'll just read out the first part of Matthews.
Our king, our patron for the day, his email.
So he's starting with "Oh, to be king for a day once again."
Here are my two picks for you guys to cover, two very different films for two very different moves.
I hope you enjoy.
So Deadman Shoes, he says,
"I saw this film when it first came out after renting it from my local library for the week.
I would have been 19 and a student around 2005.
I went into this one completely blind and it blew me away.
I watched it three times that week before taking it back.
I did not watch it again for many, many years until last year when I was 37 and it really hit differently.
As a teenager, I saw it as a film of pure revenge and I think I processed it at a very basic level.
But then as a proper adult, it really stirred up a load of emotions in me.
From the very opening credit scene where there are home movie clips of the two brothers laughing and bracing life and being innocent children,
I could feel tears wailing up in my eyes.
Here we have two brothers not having a care in the world and me, the viewer, knows exactly what's going to happen to both of them.
At this point, I had a nurse to turn the film off in a weird sense that if I did, the death and destruction that comes later in the film will somehow not happen.
And these two brothers would grow up to be very happy adults.
I did, however, not turn off and my emotions were all over the place from start to finish.
I was laughing at the comedy of the scenes, metaphorically punching the air when Paddy was getting revenge, and then overcome with intense sadness by the closing scenes.
It's really one tense, very dark film. I honestly do think is healthy to what, do not think is healthy to watch too often.
The bullying scenes of Toby Gabel are particularly difficult to stomach.
The standout for me, obviously is Paddy Constantine.
It's just a normal bloke of average build, but he manages to be utterly terrifying.
The confrontations he has in the pub, and he's written in brackets, "You, you can't."
And in the street where Son with Sonny are very intimidating, he also has a vulnerability to the end, which really breaks your heart.
Without Paddy, I do not think this film would hit the mark.
The only thing I think lets this film down a little bit are the villains.
They seem to be a mishmash of different actors with no real linking thread between them, other than being generally unpleasant people.
And also that bloody car they drive in. I'm not sure what the producers would go for with that choice.
Finally, Toby Gabel looks a bit like that bloke from Jackass.
I know he can help with the poor sod, but I could not unsee it. I think he means Steve O.
He looks a little bit like Steve O.
But he says overall, this film has a big thumbs up, but you have to be in the right frame of mind to watch it.
Thank you Matthew.
Alright, well, Gab, would you like to give us the official synopsis for this before we get involved?
Dead man shoes, 2004, race 18, a nice tidy, 90 minutes.
90.
A disaffected soldier returns to his home town to get even with the fugs who brutalised his immensely challenged brother years ago.
Very, very quick to the point, no faking.
Cooked MCs like a pain of bacon.
That's a very quick snopsish there. It does say to the point, where were you when you watched this first one?
I was with a friend of mine who I'm no longer friends with, but it was a guy that I've told you about him before.
I'm doubt if he listens to this show, but it's a guy that I was trying to write a script with many, many years ago,
like 20, 25 years ago, not long after this would have come out, I expect.
Maybe you're telling me before.
He in some way knew the director through someone I can't remember how he had spoken to him several times.
I saw it a little bit with him, but I wasn't paying too much attention.
A year later, a friend of mine said, "Dan, have you ever seen this?" I said, "Oh, I think I have, yeah, but I don't remember it."
He said, "Oh my god, it's one of the best films I've ever seen. Check it out. I'm going to wear this for Halloween this year."
As in the gas mask in coat. And he did. My friend did wear that.
So I watched it and suddenly he thought, "Fucking hell, that was good."
And I seemed to go back and watch this.
I don't always feel like I'm I need to, as Matthew said, it isn't one that's an easy watch.
But I do end up going back and watching this every three or four years just because I still want to see
does it still hit in the way that it does. And I think it actually gets better with every watch.
And as you get older and whether you become a parent or you lose people around you,
it just hits more and more differently each time.
So the point that this most recent watch I for this review, I can just not be for six man, Jesus.
But yeah, what about you? Where was your first viewing of this?
Around the buddy's house. We used to go around there, watch films,
rent out a movie, watch it. We didn't know what it was, put it on.
Not John.
No, my friend Phil, he lives in Berlin now, shout out.
Good dark.
Good dark.
Yeah, I used to just go around there and watch movies and we watched it and I was just like, man, that's fucking amazing.
You know, it's one of those films. As soon as you watch it like this is incredible.
It's kind of, I would say, to equivalent of your first time watching say, "Pulp Fiction."
It's the same sort of route as that, but British.
And for me then, because it's funny watching it now with the two jokers with their porn mags, those guys.
And watching that now, and then watching it when I first watched it, because I think if you're in England, not everyone,
but most people know people like these guys. It's fucking dickheads.
Yeah.
And I don't know, it's very powerful film. Watch it again, it was amazing the other night.
I know this film is so well-known in my head. It's quite an expensive one to pick up on DVD.
Even second hand, you're looking at about 15 quid.
I was very lucky. It was underrated.
I was lucky enough to pick up a 50p in a charity shop.
I don't ever see it.
For five years ago. I don't have it in my collection. And if I'd see it, I'd have it in my collection.
And I'm going through charity shops all the time and car boots house. I'm always looking for lights.
I will wait. Jellis, you always get the best bloody bargains. You always find these random.
Yeah, I got a good stack. They did not frequent.
Yeah.
Expendible's four. It's like, "How's that?" And you just come out. And I've got it for 50p.
What does that say?
Funny enough though. I thought I said, "Memma say to you, this can be awful."
This is a terrible bit.
After I finished, I went, "Didn't mind it."
This did mind it too much. Yeah, some of it's a mega fox's pointless and 50s pointless.
But anyway, this film here is a point.
I was not going to say pointless. What would it be? It has a point.
Oh yeah, it does. It has a very sharp point.
You mentioned me in a week, said, "I feel good, so I think possibly."
And it's one of those things. Even if you just look at the poster,
like the cinematic of him with the dead over the top of him.
And it's just, I don't know, even a poster's good. The sake about this,
I didn't realise that Patti wrote it.
Yeah.
It had, has this kind of John Jay Rambo tip with him going, "You can imagine this is a John Jay Rambo."
With Rambo references.
Well, he's gone back to his mates place. He died of cancer.
Oh, okay, fine. He's now gone into town.
And this is what he's gone, instead though.
To not be any fan, he had a brother.
Was like... Yeah, because he wears a green Army coat.
He's from the Army. But also, it also reminded me
at times of taxi driver. And again, back at the coat.
He's been compared to the British Robert De Niro in the past,
Patti Constantine.
In fact, the Empire Review specifically said,
when this film, "Fritz Kim out," said,
"he may be the British De Niro, quiet, but also terrifying at the same time."
Yeah.
And the interesting thing about this, and we'll get into the director in just a moment, is the budget.
I don't know if you know the budget. I've got it in front of me.
But I don't know if you know what the budget was for this.
No, well, was it?
Just under 700,000 pounds.
Yeah.
And it didn't make much. It only made $230,000 worldwide.
So it was technically a flop or failure.
But this will be one that Shane Meadows is happy to have made,
because him and his buddy Patti wrote it, and obviously Shane directed it.
It's very personal to them.
It's grown over the years. It's grown occult status on the British De Niro.
It's very underrated. I don't think I think us having it on this show will open it up to people who have not seen it.
I'm hoping some of our foreign listeners from overseas or whatever, not basting or surrounding areas,
we'll know it and we'll go, "Oh, what's this movie?"
Because you have to watch this. It's going to be frustrating if you haven't seen it, because we're going to spoil it.
It's bloody shame and you should watch it.
Yeah, you should watch it.
And I'll say that now. Stop now.
I'll stop now for watching it, because there are scenes in this that are sad.
There are scenes in this that are shocking.
And there are scenes in this that really, if you're a gore-hound,
you're going to get some great gore moments.
But you want to have that surprise the first time you watch it, because some of the fucking shit that he does is just out there, man.
The soundtrack is phenomenal as well.
And we'll talk about the story in a moment.
Good hit.
Yeah, some really good hit pop in this.
I played one of those tracks recently in a pub.
Okay, well, I was playing this the other week.
But also some beautiful folk music and some sort of very sort of just some airy British strumming.
It's just wonderful.
I was thinking about it and I said this to you when we messaged and I'm just saying,
Samboa said, "Every now and again, a film comes along that we review."
And we have a saying on our show, if anyone hasn't heard it before, and we say, "This is a film, God's film."
And what we mean by that is the gods aligned, the planets aligned,
and everything about this is pretty damn near-perfect.
Whether it's the actors of the two main actors in it or the way it's shot,
the nation is beautiful, the acting is incredible, the score, the soundtrack, and the plot twists.
It's just, it's kind of like it's like it walks into a room quietly knowing it's a fucking badass
and it doesn't have to sort of shout about.
It's not like a Michael Bay film that walks into the room.
Good, yeah, everybody, look at me.
This one walks into the room and sits down in the corner.
Just like Paddy Constantine, it's very quiet and just dating.
The same as him at the beginning, he's walking into the town.
It's so quiet and understated.
It's directed by Shane Meadows, prolific British director, who makes very hard-hitting British or very realistic drama.
He's done stuff like "Once Upon a Time in the Midlands."
Obviously, Demons, this is England, this is the one that a lot of people know him for.
This is England 88, he's done some TV shows, and he's done a lot of, he was heavily involved with
Britpop or Brit Rock as well in the '90s.
So you can really feel this has got a personal film for him.
It's shot in places he would have grown up and around people that he would have grown up with.
But I think Addy is the same.
But I do wonder where Paddy's story comes from. I'm presuming that he knows something of thisness essence, maybe not obviously.
I don't know if you're killer.
Shane Meadows is that part of it.
Because he knew someone that was very badly bullied, who was disabled.
When he was young, I think they died as well.
He thought about that story.
So he added to that.
Also, this film wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Paddy Constantine's dad Martin, who was dying in real life,
dying and said to Paddy, "I'd really, really love it if you and Shane could do something together again,
because you guys work well together."
So he kind of his last wish really was that they would make this film.
That's why it's dedicated to Martin Constantine.
So there's a lot of factors that just make this just brilliant, really.
Yeah, and Paddy's amazing as the lead.
You like him.
You're totally with him as a protagonist.
Spoiler territory.
I'm going to go and sport to territory.
Yeah, yeah.
At the end, he kind of says that he doesn't not very PC in 2023 or 2024.
He doesn't really care about his brother.
But then I think he's saying what every can to get this over with and done and just say that it's a lot to unpack with that.
Because that's a really, that point where you're like, "Oh, okay."
And then you're like, "That could actually be a thing." So it's really hard to know.
I guess he interved it any which way you want.
Well, he does consider himself to be a monster, doesn't he?
And he knows he's a soldier.
So he knows a monster and he sees one.
And he knows he's become a monster.
And maybe he always was a monster.
But either way, he wants it done and dusted and over.
Yeah, it's hard hitting.
And maybe even a trigger warning for everybody.
You've seen this or not.
There's some terrible scenes of torture that get progressively worse throughout this.
But it's also, there is an element of, I do have fun with this movie because you kind of, I love getting on board when there's an anti-hero.
You know, and whether that's someone like the Punisher, Freddy Krueger.
That's what we love John Wicken, that really.
Yeah, exactly.
And we'd love that just how horrible and nasty the baddies are in this.
And we're with Matthew and that they are a bit cartoonish.
But I think that makes it more fun to see them killed off one by one.
Yeah, I want to make a film like this.
I even said to Ben and Mark Reese, I said, do you guys want to come on with me and we just make a revenge for it?
We just quickly get the camera, check it on your shoulder and we go.
I would honestly, I think a lot of people saw this including that guy that I introduced me to.
And he was a, oh, one of your filmmakers, I believe he's doing a few bits and bobs now.
But this is the sort of film that you saw made and you thought, well, I could do that.
But they went and did it and they did it fucking spectacularly.
But that's the thing though, I like to do that.
And like, yeah, I actually could do that.
And you know, still might do, but you're never ever going to make it as good as this.
No, it's phenomenal. It's a film, God's movie.
Cool. Yeah. So let's get into this story, I guess really.
And this is anything else you wanted to add before we get into it.
No, because I will get into it as we talk.
I do have one, my, I have a problem with it, which I'll mention at the end.
One flaw in plot hole, a plot hole, but I'll mention that at the very end, all right?
Oh, okay.
Okay, cool. So yes, as Matthew said, you know, we open up with a montage of film.
A montage of baby and family videos, really heartwarming.
It really gets you sentimental straight away and lovely music playing over the top.
And these are two brothers. As Matthew said, two brothers that look like they, you know, just having a great time.
We all had that in the summer, growing up with our friends or family playing in the sun.
I wasn't lucky enough to have a, my family would have a camcorder or anything like that.
But these guys do and yeah, it just looks very realistic. It probably is real, I would say.
It's probably from one of the writers, family, family.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
It's easier to do that than just trying to get old stuff.
Funny enough. I say this now. I don't think anyone listen.
In the beginning of pre-tenatural, there's a little bit of, little tingly bit of some baby footage at a party.
I'm not sure who that is. It was on the same day. It was on someone's scape video footage from their family.
And I was like, I'm having that. So yeah.
Great. Yeah.
Copyright. No, I'm joking.
Well, no, no, no, no. It's so, it's...
No, we're going to...
If the family, from... That must be for like 20, 30 years ago, that footage.
If the family finds pre-tenatural, find that, go, that's us. And they can see that.
It will be literally like, yeah, like, I don't know. I don't know.
My love.
Giving my love. My...
It will be amazed, you know.
Well, well, spliced into this lovely opening, we then see shots of Richard and his brother Anthony walking across the countryside.
It is obviously brilliant coming in as a reviewer and also known the end.
So, should we spoil it now and explain the ending?
Well, why not? Because we've already given that a warning.
I think it's good because we've had to do this before with some films which play out like this.
Because we then like to get into it.
Because... Well, it'll be a more in-depth discussion if we talk about it now.
Yeah, of course.
Rather than like, scoot around it.
So let's do it. So go on. What's the spoiler, Gav?
Richard and Anthony walking across the countryside.
But...
Anthony's not actually there. He's actually...
He actually hung himself and then commit suicide from all the bullion.
So, spoiler. We've spoiled the film with you. We fucking want you.
And all the acid that they gave him.
And...
And every interaction with Anthony there and talking to Richard and back of all is in his head.
Yeah, and that was one of the reasons why this blew people away, I think, because he didn't really get a lot of...
He didn't get the sense types of spoilers back then.
He didn't kind of get that sort of twist, especially like this, and all of a sudden he'd go, "What the fuck? Because you didn't even need this twist."
That's the thing, this film.
Oh no, you didn't, huh?
It's a revenge, if you didn't have this twist.
And he just got away of it and they both walked out the town and walked out again, like they walked in. Right the end.
You'd be like, "That's fucking great."
But then all of a sudden, the icing on the cake is, they front his twisting and like, "Oh shit."
Or even if he sort of said to Anthony, you know, "Here's a bag of money that I've procured from all of these guys."
You know, "Go and finance it Jane or whatever."
But you're right, we didn't even need this.
So essentially this is not a ghost story, but it's a mental health story of very poor mental health PTSD.
We don't know what he's seen in the war.
But again, it takes us back to Rambo.
Well, it's...
Yeah, if he's just like a fucking, he used to be a caretaker and it's all, "What did he see at the school when everything had impact?"
They're always, they're always, they're always, they're just dying and puke.
Or mixed together around my mouthhead.
And then but like, in fact, it's always the soldier.
They're always like ex-soldiers, they always are.
Because it's end, but it's true though, if you're gonna all of a sudden, because the mind wasn't designed for such trauma.
Well, guess what I'm saying is the main point here, which is if he wasn't a soldier, he wouldn't be a scaring confidence as he is and be able to take people out and be able to break in and out of houses.
Yeah, he is.
And they never really talk about what he was in, whether he was in the Marines or the SAS, but he was in a very high level of the British military, where he basically was a John Rambo, but British John Rambo, you know?
It's good.
Fuck guys up.
Similar to like the guest as well.
Oh yeah, great, another great film.
So yeah, we don't really know, but yeah, in fact, he is though, he's a killer machine.
So we need to bear in mind on that bombshell that you've just dropped. We need to bear in mind that every interaction with Anthony, when he told me see Anthony, no one else will interact with him, will speak with him.
And it's actually all taking place, whether he's speaking out loud to his, you know, his dead brother or his imaginary brother, but when he hears him respond, that's all in his mind.
And this is powering him forward more and more and more. And it makes it darker because sometimes Anthony says to him, I don't want to go back into time. I'm a bit scared.
I want to stay here today.
And he says, all right, you can stay here today.
So sometimes he doesn't take his brother with him.
He's his imaginary brother with him because it's too dark, even for his imaginary brother to go and see the things he's going to go and do.
Just makes this film elevates it slightly more again. It's just layer upon layer.
Oh, I'm doing that thing with my handgab for no one can see this, but I'm making like a weird sign with my hands when I'm excited about something.
I might do this little.
It looks like a dark mouse been settled out together.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah, so they these two basically start off beginning going into they're walking into somewhere. They're not walking actually into the town, but it is.
Some of the ice that way visually, then walking into the areas, basically, and walking into the story.
And they decided to make camp a farm.
Yeah, like an old farm out and sort of just out on the near town.
And they're sitting there chatting away and you just get this bit with a what's he called?
Anthony's brother.
Richard.
Richard.
I get this point where Richard says to Anthony, God will forgive them and let them into heaven.
I can't live like anything.
Like, okay, what's this all about then?
We should also mention that Anthony just adds to but salt in the wound of him being bullied to death.
He is also very mentally challenged as well.
And so that adds to the bullying as well.
He's not very mentally challenged.
He's slightly mentally challenged.
He's very mentally challenged. He can talk fairly coherently in a certain sense and understand what's going on.
Well, it's a subtle disability, but it's there.
And it makes him an easy target for these bullies even more so because he's not able to depend himself.
He's very gullible.
He's essentially got the child's mind.
He lives with these guys.
Why is he even friends them?
Well, I think he just sort of falls into it, doesn't he?
Well, that's what I'm presuming that he's kind of stuck there because he can't sort of think for himself.
Well, that's the only bit of it on my bit.
I don't understand why you do.
You do see how that comes about, don't you?
Because at one point that guy shouts to him out the window, can you go and grab me some milk?
And then over the many, many months he's going around there more and more running more errands for them until he starts.
Well, it feels like he almost lives there though.
He's got a rum and he's sleeping in, but maybe he's just crashing.
That's not his room.
That's just the room that they throw in, throw in, throw in, remember the lady.
I think it's just...
And doesn't mind having sex.
Well, again, he's got the, it's a child's mind in a man's body.
He doesn't really know.
They all start cheering when that happens.
And he thinks, "Great, they all like me."
So I guess that was a good thing.
Obviously though, they're still like taking a, you know, taking a piss out of him.
Yeah.
Well, you're right.
They have this conversation.
They talk about the God won't forgive, etc.
And we get to day one.
And I like it in the movies where they do this.
Day one, day two, day three.
It's like a countdown to something's going to happen.
It doesn't always work, but I like it in this one.
So day one.
It's...
I love this bit though.
The scene opens up in there.
It's Steve for Dan and I, if you're not out of the UK stuff,
we're going to all these sort of locations and things.
We're going to know very, very well.
We grew up in the 80s and all sorts, all these sort of working men's clubs and all sorts.
I'm sure Dan, you went to working men's clubs when you were killing a shit.
I've been to them recently.
My in-laws live not far from one.
And we would go to one because the beer is cheap.
Yeah.
There's free pool table.
Yeah, I grew up in one.
But much.
And it's just a bunch.
For anyone who doesn't know, there's a bunch of sort of 60 plus men.
Sip in there.
And you sometimes get the younger rabble in there, don't you?
Like it is in this one.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, it's like a more of a club where it's older fellows that get together.
But you do get younger.
But it's hoping in a daytime, we've got nowhere to go.
It's kind of the same as a pub, but a little bit more homely.
There's the only way I could put it.
It's a little bit more friendly than the pub.
I guess sometimes.
I don't know if it depends.
I've seen all sorts happen.
But they're just sitting at the corner's table with a couple of other people.
And I can old fellow there.
And I can't.
There's something I love in films.
It's like when the police turn up, the safety blanket's there.
I love in movies, the situations like this.
I know that guy's fucking intense and gnarly, anything you kick off.
But he's not got focus.
I've had this in real life situations where I've been sitting somewhere and been like,
"Oh man, that guy's drunk and he is fucking intense."
And if he clockwise, he doesn't like you.
He's fucking, you know, it's gonna be a situation.
But they go and focus on someone else.
He's like, "Yes, yes."
And he's home free.
Yeah, wicked.
It was like this.
And the old guy now has a bit like, "Oh, I quite like it because I know you're safe."
And he looks up because it's almost like he's on the same table on the same sizing.
Because when he goes, this guy comes in his drug dealer and goes down to the pool table.
Like me, he's doing, gets his money and stuff and he looks over to Paddy's table.
And Richard said to, no.
Richard?
No, you have one.
He's still one.
Anthony.
And to me, I said to Richard, "That's one mate. That's one there."
And so he Richard, oh, it's because he's Paddy.
Paddy's just fucking staring at this dude.
And Paddy has a stare on you which you do not want to.
Because that bassie has fury and rage behind it and you don't want to get messed with that.
I've had people look at me like that and it's not a nice thing.
And he looks over to him and this guy with around the pool table is like,
"Look in and he looks back and he case he looks back."
And the best thing about his film is it's so extremely realistic.
Everything that happens in his film is extremely realistic.
Even the murders happen.
Really?
It's really real, don't they?
It works really seriously.
It could happen.
It's not like, "Chainsaw, Foula, hey, it's..."
Everything is quite realistic.
And this bit here is extremely realistic where I say,
"He kind of just keeps looking back at him."
And he knows he's not like a hard bad guy but he's looking kind of cool.
He's the local drug dealer.
Well, yeah, he's like, "But he's got this thing, it's a local town."
But he's like, "He's this guy."
And it goes up to him and say, "Who are you? What's up?"
And he's like, "You're a cunt."
Well, yeah, he sort of says, "So this is Herbie.
He's one of the main henchmen.
Sonny is the main drug dealer.
And then Herbie is one of his little cronies."
And he clocks him a few times and he's trying to act hard on his mates.
And he thinks, "That guy's literally,
if his eyes had laser beams come out of them,
I wouldn't be surprised."
And he says, "Does a casual, half-hard man thing?"
Where he says, "You know what I mean?"
He goes, "Yeah?"
And he goes, "Let's just see how I'm going to stop looking at me since I came in."
Anything I can help you with, what you looking at.
And then he just explodes, doesn't he, Gav?
"You, you're cunt."
And he says, "You can barely understand what he's saying,
but you're doing just the same."
And he says, "You're an intense and the guy is just taking a back."
But I guess why I like the old guy next to him,
just looking at him, "Oh, fuck it out."
"You're up for real, aren't you?"
And he the old guy knows, "Oh, I'm alright."
That's what I like.
We get some flashbacks, no?
So any flashbacks to Anthony's backstory
and how he falls in with this lot, they're all in black and white.
And they all have really great music set to them as well.
So I've already described how he--
"I can rip up."
Yeah, but also some like other--
"I have some focus."
Well, but we already get the intro of how he accidentally did some errands for them
and then got invited in.
So essentially, and we will describe some of these things in more detail,
but eventually it gets worse and worse and worse.
Firstly, they make him smoke weed, then potentially smoke crack, I think,
and then they give him acid and booze,
and then they force him to have sex, then they try and force him to suck up another guy's penis.
And it just gets worse and worse and worse for this poor old Anthony.
But this is all broken up into these little thing yet.
These little black and white flashbacks.
We're talking about--
We're talking about 'em, so we get some.
Yeah, we'll talk about as we go through.
The other thing to mention as well, which is equally heartbreaking,
even especially if Richard didn't think much of his brother,
is that his brother absolutely idolizes his big brother Richard who was in the army.
The way he talks about him, there's one scene where he's going,
"You're always the best at football, aren't you Richard? No one else could beat you.
You'd always score the goals."
"Oh, yeah, you're the best."
"Oh, and there's one bit, but," which he says,
"Everybody wanted you to hug them, didn't you Richard?"
And he goes, "Yeah."
Not you though, and he goes, "And Anthony just says, 'I didn't need to ask that I.'
But also, what that's implying is, I'm dead,
so I can't ask you for a hug."
It's just so loaded, every scene in this man.
So the relationship between these two, that isn't even a real relationship,
is phenomenally done.
You know, they only brought in Toby Kebble in the last couple of weeks.
Yeah, he's very--
You shot all these scenes about a week, I think.
Yeah, it's very good.
Amazing stuff, amazing stuff.
So the struggle team, it walks out the place,
and just goes back to this upstairs,
it's sort of like a snooker hall type place,
where it's again, it's sort of a place that I know very well.
It's a poor lock stock, isn't it?
A poor man's lock stock.
They think they're big gangsters, but they're not really.
Unfortunately, it's like many towns nowadays in England.
There seems to be a lot more than now,
whereas a lot of sort of, you kind of board it up places,
your places have really run down now.
And yeah, there are upstairs that it's like,
basically the guys who are giving him drugs and stuff,
so it's local gangsters, I guess, hanging out.
They're listening to some decent 90s hip hop, though.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
I think it's Redman.
It might be Redman, they're listening, so I'm not sure.
But I was digging it, but yeah, I heard people saying--
And he gives money over for what he's just picked up,
because we've just seen what he's doing.
So we understand he's a street dealer,
and then we've got the other dealer up there
who's getting the biggest stuff in, obviously.
You all know listeners, you all know how drug dealing works, I'm sure.
And they're all out there playing, guys.
We meet Sonny, he's the main guy who's an Xboxer,
played by Gary Stratch, he's an Xboxer.
Now, I was wondering if he was going to say to them
like, what happened, but he's too cool, flat, and doesn't,
but he does tell, obviously, the poor no brothers.
Well, he doesn't think about it too much, does he?
Because it was a one-off thing, and that's kind of it.
But when he comes out of the club--
Yeah, but he also has to keep a slight level of hardness about him.
The reason he tells the poor no brothers
is because the second part happens.
Of course, but he does still have to keep a certain level
to these other guys, because they would say to him,
"What didn't you fucking do, something about it?"
And then he looks at his weakness.
So he comes out of the club where he's just met his boss, Sonny,
they've done a hundred money and drugs over it,
and as he comes back out, who's waiting for him
at the corner in the alleyway?
Fucking panic on the door.
No, the corner at the right, at the bottom of the stairs
where the door is, literally just says,
"All right, mate, right, straight, right, right,
"I'm so sorry about earlier."
And it was so okay.
And then it was so okay.
"Move from me, I'm so rude of me, I'm so sorry about that."
And it's obviously would take you off guard completely,
because, first of all, you intimidate,
and then you notice it, it's no everybody in town,
who's this guy today, and it's getting intimidate,
and then all of a sudden it's even more so,
it's been like, "What is this game? What's going on?"
It's gonna throw you off.
He shakes his hand, he says, "I'm Richard, I'm so sorry.
"What was your name, I think, Catch it."
And he goes, "I'm a rugby."
And he goes, "No, what's your real name?"
And he goes, "That is my name, rugby."
And he goes, "Oh, again, rugby, I'm so sorry about that."
It's so funny the way he does that.
So this script was not locked in, I reckon it.
It was there, certainly.
If Paddy's starring in it and he wrote it, he can ad lib shit.
And this film is like 60% ad libbed.
That's what I'm just gonna say, because...
The trivia says, you know, most of the scenes
that involve the henchman or ad libbed,
which is why some of it, the actin is a little ropey at times.
But, so it makes it so much more realistic.
But that's why it feels more realistic, you're right.
That's why it's...
Don't think it is acting, think it is ad libbing, because it is...
It's kind of like how I like making foul fruit films and things.
I love this kind of loose, loose.
You've got a script locked in, but really it's just beats.
Yeah, get from A to B, make sure the story's told.
Well, Herbie leaves this weird scene now,
where this guy's approached him for the second time.
Yeah, as he leaves, he runs off round the corner.
He gets to the end of the alley and he likes to...
Wait until you're round the corner, that is showing weakness.
Like, you know, when he gets back to his mate's house...
But Paddy's character, Richard, would have been laughing.
He definitely would have smoked if he saw him run round the corner.
This next scene really reminds me of our humour, Hugh and I,
because we got a sauce and tough to the other henchmen now and then...
No, actually, no, I think that's actually a disc, a disc to both you and I.
I know people like this where you're just like, fuck, or is it's almost...
I've been in like the van, the work van with these guys,
and it's just like, oh my god, your jokes are just so bad.
Stop it now. Not every word has to be a joke.
But what they're doing is these two.
Everything.
Just before Herbie comes in, they've got a couple of porn omags each.
And they are literally just reading like story headlines each of them.
They're characters in a Ricky Gervais show.
Or they remind me of like...
I don't know, lots of shows like Spaced.
They could be in lots of British shows, you know what I mean?
But they're reading these porn omagazine each of them.
One of them was said to the other one.
I let five men rim me in one night and the other one go, oh, did you?
Yeah, me.
And that's the joke show.
I like four cucks up me at once.
Do you? Yeah.
And they're just reading these headlines.
The thing is though, these guys, what you say there,
29, 28, 29, 30, you think one?
Yeah, they're two old, we're doing this shit on that.
They're two old, we'll be sitting there of an afternoon in the week.
I know, it's a sunny afternoon in the week.
Both sitting there looking at porn omags each.
What's going on with you guys?
What point did you go?
Should we have a read of some porn?
Yeah, let's do that.
Like, this is really weird guys.
Why don't you go and get a job or something?
Well, Herbie arrives and he says, all right, God's,
God's skin up, come on, get a split on the go.
Get a joint on the go.
Listen, I want to tell you something that happens today.
And what I like about this movie is almost like you feel like
you're the fucking flyin' the wall CCTV for each time.
Straight away, I'm just like, because I love the way it's done this film.
Straight away, you can follow it so much.
You're like, is he going to exaggerate?
Because I know people like this.
Is he going to exaggerate the story and make him say it was really hard?
And he does a little bit, but does still keep looking.
Yeah, he makes him say in slightly less whimpy.
And it just comes across so realistic again as well, yeah.
But he says to them what happened and he says, then he's found me again.
And he's come up to me and said, sorry.
And they were like, what, that's fucking weird.
You know him.
And he's like, I've been racking my brains, racking my brains all the way here.
Honestly, racking my brains.
And I do think, I know who it is.
And I'm like, what is it?
And he goes, it's Richard.
And they go, Richard.
Yeah.
Anthony's brother, Richard.
Soon as I say this.
Soon as I say that, Anthony.
Everybody's being rich.
As a viewer first time around, you don't know what's happening because you don't know this of, yeah.
You're just kind of just been introduced to these characters.
And then it goes straight into footage of him getting wasted.
Anthony, with all of these guys we've been introduced to.
Yeah, so I put black and white, I put here flashback the physical abuse start.
So they make him do drugs.
They force him.
They literally hold him down and make him do bongs.
He's coughing.
He doesn't really want to do it.
But then he's stoned and he's laughing and they're all taking the piss.
They're really all like gathered random all of these guys.
And this is where it starts really, you know.
It's going to be.
And we keep going back and it gets worse, you know.
So we call to work.
We cut back now to Richard and Anthony.
You know, Anthony's like, I don't want to go Richard.
Well, they're sat at the barn and he says, what do you think of the town?
And Richard and Richard says, well, it's still a shit hole.
It hasn't changed.
But I've got to go back in a minute to sort some business out.
Right, Anthony?
And this is where he says, I don't want to go Richard.
He said, that's okay.
You don't have to go this time.
Finger was though.
So he said that this time round.
I was like, because I've seen this for probably 20 years.
So he said that this time round.
I was just like, yes.
What a sin.
He says business.
No, not that.
It's just when he says, I don't want to, I don't want to go to town.
He goes, no, you can stay here.
It's like, no, it's like leaving the kids at home.
I'm going to town.
It's this.
You know that what's going to happen?
Oh shit, it's gas mark time.
It's the elephant at the window.
So we cut back to drug party.
And we've got a herobie.
We've got a sauce and tough and they're all snorting coats.
Smoking weed, drinking vodka and any other cheat drink they can.
You know the porn video take.
Because it's back in the day.
Obviously it's going to be video take.
So I'll watch this on the video tape.
You know the porn video tape will come on and then one from midnight.
You joke it off over there, you dirty bastard.
And they do this thing where they try and get it.
I've got a new type of coke.
See if you can guess where it's from and one of the guys sniff it and he goes, oh, I'm not sure that's an unusual one.
He goes, let me give you a clue.
It's Italian and then eventually he tells him he's actually just snorted parmesan cheese.
So these are the sort of jokes that they're playing on each other.
I missed that.
Yeah, he says, it's fucking parmesan.
You fucking bat your dirty bastard.
Can't believe you did that to me.
But he just laughs at it and then goes, right, get the real coke.
Come on, let's get on all these drugs.
And then I just like getting on it.
This sucks fucking losers.
Yeah, herbie says, I've got to go guys anyway.
I'm having a good party, but I've got to go and see Sonny again.
So I'll see you guys tomorrow.
I'll see you later.
When I first watched this, my all my mates were all just sitting there watching it.
And they just say, oh, that's just like the visions and not the visions.
The visuals of the dude, the gas mask then literally walks down the corner.
And we're like on the side looking with him.
Like the fuck.
Well, let's describe it then.
So we're in a block of flats.
So he heads out of the flat and heads down to the door that leads you out onto the car park.
And as he gets to that door, what does he see then, Gavin?
Please describe what he sees on the other side of that door.
Basically, it's just a dude just standing there.
Oh, we don't know it's a dude.
It's a figure to stand in there with a really pale round gas mask of two big old eyes
in a real long pointed squared off a plus rounded but squared off nose that comes down.
Kind of like a Star Wars figure almost types of it.
And he's got his green army jacket on his arm.
Gas mask is really weird looking.
And the green jacket completely done up.
And bear a bear reminder that her bees also been smoking, drinking and snorting for the last couple of hours.
So he's a little bit skewie anyway.
Doesn't he have something with him like a weapon?
Yes, he has got something, hasn't he?
Because he bangs on the glass and says, come here.
I know he just points.
He doesn't say anything.
He just points to him.
Yeah, and reckons him out.
I'm looking at the picture.
And this, this would.
This outfit now is definitely inspiration from Shane Meadows and Paddy.
Would have definitely have watched a gritty 80s slasher.
Because it really reminds me of some of those video nasty slasher.
I'm looking at a prowler or something like that.
I'm looking at a black and white photograph of him standing in a corridor with the ax
like he's just walking along.
It must be someone just taking a photograph.
It looks fucking scary.
Is it all grainy and shit?
It's also a little bit like bloody Valentine that the miner from that as well.
Yeah, because you can't see the features like you say,
it's just these big round eyes.
Love I see her beach it's himself.
He runs back upstairs and he says to the guys,
there's someone out there a fucking elephant or something out there.
You've got to come with me.
You've got to come with me.
I love this bit of elephant.
The thing is, they've been smoking bombs doing their junk.
He comes out of the first thing because they, he turns,
jumps into the room and they're jumping around to sing and dance in.
It's stupid fucking stuff.
They're like, were you talking about my fucking elephant?
They're pissed off that they're kind of ruining his heart, their heart.
So they all run out.
He says come with me.
They're so annoyed that they've got to go out.
But they're also good friends enough that they all go out to fight whatever this elephant thing is.
Which sounds insane.
So they all go out and there's no one out there, of course, he's gone.
And they go, what are we going to do?
I don't know, fucking weird.
Let's go back up.
They go back up to the flat and it's been completely ransacked.
I did feed our comment by I saw what the meaning of that.
What is the meaning of that word?
So he's written chain smoking on the wall.
CHEYNE.
Sorry, chain stoking.
So chain stoking is the pattern of breathing that you have as you start passing away.
So in hospital, when your breathing changes to a certain pattern,
it's called chain stoking.
So it means you're definitely on your way out, sadly.
So he's written that on the wall, which basically means you guys are on your way out.
They don't understand it.
They just see the right hand on the wall.
They see their flat, their apartment has been completely trashed.
Then it strikes them.
Oh shit, where is sunny strokes?
Well, what do you mean?
Well, you left them on the table.
Yeah, now you took them with you.
They're not with me.
They must have fallen down the back of the couch.
And they start tearing the flat apart and they realise
they are fucked because I don't know how much it was,
probably a few underpainted with, but this guy's sunny, isn't a nice guy.
And they have lost all of his drugs and they're going to have to explain it to him.
Oh shit.
Yeah, they're pretty much fucked by seeing their...
And he's just like, I'm not going out, I'm staying here.
And he won't leave the first drug dealer.
So in the morning, though.
Well, we also see now that gas mask is spying on one of the other guys.
Oh yeah, yeah.
And he's got a hammer.
He's got a hammer.
So he's just like...
It's brutal.
Yeah.
So he breaks into this guy's house and he's asleep on the couch, doesn't he?
He passed out.
Yeah.
And you think he's going to smash his head in there?
They're all such fucking waste as all these guys, aren't they?
But he ditched one of them, is a fucking loser.
But he doesn't smash his head in with the hammer while they're sleeping on the couch, these two.
This is gypsy, gypsy John and Big Owl, this is.
So what he does is, instead he pulls that kind of spray paint.
And even that doesn't wake them up, because they're so wasted.
And that's all we see.
It's out of my head.
We're going to find out what he did to the minute moment.
We're back with the first three dealers, the porn brothers and the fucking dealer.
And all of a sudden there's a knock at the door and it's these...
Why not?
It's not just a knock at the door.
7.30am it says on the screen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, knock.
Hip-Hit, hip-Hot, blaring.
And what are they driving?
Citroen Dolly.
Well, no, it's not just yet.
Because they've had those, the other two have just turned up at their flat saying, "What the fuck have you done to us?"
Oh no, that's in a moment.
They go rain to sunny, first of all.
Yeah, no, no, no, because you've got the other two come along.
It's all five of them go, don't they?
Oh no, you're right.
What?
Absolutely, okay, fine.
So, so the hip-Hot Citroen, the hip-Hot Citroen.
So it's 7.30am in the morning.
You've got three of them crammed into this Citroen Dolly.
And they're all wrapped around.
If you don't put the car in, it's a Patrick car.
Ridiculous.
But apparently they borrowed it from a friend of theirs and that's how they saved money.
And they thought we just added to the craziness of these baddies.
Okay, it just makes them more losers.
Yeah.
I really, silly kind of.
You can tell this guy's like the leader.
He's like the one in all in black leather jacket, black slicked hair.
He's like something out of these vendors.
Yeah, he's like kind of that sort of assertive type guy.
He's a dominant man.
You know, if we know who he is, we sort of seen him a little bit earlier when he was taking the collecting the money up above the snuggle.
Anyway, turn up, they knock at the door.
And this gag was done in trailer part boys as well, which is really good because Julian had it done to him.
And then no one told him for a long time.
They hear from their side.
So they're banging on the door.
Bear in mind, it's 7.30 in the morning.
So they're waiting for the camera.
We're on the side of those guys waiting for the door to open.
He's going, "Oh, that fuck's fucking a mic."
"Do it, this fucking a morning."
So open door and he's going to be really fucking pissed off.
Open's up the door and I've got a picture of it on open hair.
He's got mascara all over his face.
He's got rosy, big, rosy red cheeks.
Like a clown.
Big, thick red clown lipstick.
And he's got blue mascara underneath his eyebrows.
He looks ridiculous.
But he doesn't know this.
So he's a fucking...
He's open to the job.
He's open to the job.
He's open to the job.
He's open to the job.
Because they're like, "Oh, because they're...
This place...
This is like your film got hit.
This place out on so many levels, how great.
Because their first thing is we don't know.
Like we're so worried.
Our worrying concern about losing that money over towers.
The fact that he's got clown makeup on.
Yeah, that thing can...
Is this just what he does in the privacy of his own home?
It's not saying anything yet.
That's what's so good.
And they don't say anything.
And this is where he needs to trick.
Because in trailer part boys they do this.
And they get to point their junior looks in the rearview movies.
And they say, "What the fuck?
Then you fucking guys tell me, I did some of my fight.
We don't see that."
And it's such a mess.
I think it...
Oh no, I think it plays better in this though.
Because we get a little bit more where he keeps saying to her,
"Was it you that knocked on my drink?"
"It wasn't me. It wasn't me, Sonny."
And he's like, "Oh, fucking music."
"It wasn't me, Sonny."
And they're still scared of him.
And they don't say it about his makeup.
And then the next scene is the three of them are sat on the sofa waiting for Sonny to come back downstairs.
And he's wiping his face and they go, "You still got a little bit, just a little bit."
"That's it, you got it now."
So I like that we haven't seen that they've told me yet.
Okay, all right.
And then they just add this comedy...
Like if anyone that's seen the League of Jensmen, it's that type of weird dark humor.
It's just very strange.
Oh, it's great humor.
It's not even that dark.
It's cracking humor.
That is.
It's good.
But the thing is though, we know now that they've had the discussion and said to him,
but we didn't see it.
The drugs have gone.
But the worst.
So he comes back in and says, "Right, explain to me again."
And this is our info dump to see that again for the audience.
Or just before that, again, just before he comes back in the room, they're reading a porn mic.
And they're reading out, they're like, "What does that mean?
Does that mean, what does Alfresco mean?
I like it Alfresco.
Does that mean, I think it means that the RCA means that the RCA means that the RCA.
So you've got them still, they're looking at porn mics waiting for Sonny to come back in the room.
They definitely don't have girlfriends.
They're definitely not, not that they don't pay for.
No.
A little side scene.
We see Richard showing Anthony.
Look, this is what I've taken from them.
That's mushrooms, that's acid.
You know, I've got all these different drugs.
I'm going to make someone in a bag bag.
I'm going to send them all to space.
And I won't wait to get it.
There's no coming back from this spaceship trip.
Is there Anthony's going?
No way Richard.
No.
So he's mixing all of these mushrooms and acid and weed and coat and everything into a very big bag.
And he just pours it all into one bag.
So we see him doing that.
He's just saying to him, "They're going to go space.
They ain't coming back."
And they're sort of stuff.
So what the fuck?
So cut back to Sunny.
And they're discussing what is going on.
Sonny's obviously extremely pissed off.
He doesn't leave, obviously.
But I'm not surprised because he's fainted, though.
So someone has broken into his house and done that, which does give them a slight gale of joke.
Well, he says, "Early come with me."
He takes her to the hallway and he says, "Tell me what the fuck's going on then."
And he goes, "Oh, okay.
I saw this elephant man the last night."
And in the other room, it cuts back in the other guy's going, "Oh, I told him not to mention the fucking elephant."
Why is he telling him about the elephant?
That's going to wind him up even more.
Because the last thing you want to do is tell this guy, "I saw like an elephant-faced man last night."
And then he ran, sucked off flat.
But he tells him it.
And Sunny actually starts to believe him a bit.
You know, he's like, "Oh, tell me more."
Then he does say, like, you know, we think it could be Anthony's brother.
And then it goes to him again.
But this is one point here where the film gods definitely are not shining.
Fucking get rid of the accordion in the soundtrack.
It's so annoying.
Oh, I know what you need.
So depressing.
Please get rid of the accordion.
You could easily put some strings or piano would have worked very well.
Not the accordion.
Yeah, I get that actually.
That's a good show.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Well, we get another flashback now because again, more people have been told about Anthony.
I don't think he's brother.
And accordion's welcome in any film.
Hmm.
You're probably right.
Just like bagpipes.
If any audience, audience, listen.
If any of you can prove be wrong, please do.
Examples of really great accordion music and films.
There's literally no way anyone's going to be able to prove that.
I guarantee it.
Well, we get another flashback now where Sunni then calls Anthony a retard.
Obviously, it's not a nice word.
And we get more.
He's now psychologically bullying him telling him he's thick.
He's stupid.
This is this is the main guy just with hit Anthony in the room and.
In the kitchen.
This is where it's you can see where humanity could be the most horrible.
It can because he's not doing this for attention for other people to look good.
He's doing this for his own grasp.
He's really drunk as well.
And he's trying to get into suck his dick.
And if he doesn't, he's going to smack him up.
Yeah, well, he slaps a map out of advertising is.
I've got a game to play with you.
The game is to be the sat my dick.
And if you don't sat my dick, then the mystery prize is you sat my dick.
And then he says, you know what your brother went to the army to get away from his retarded brother.
That's why he's really, he's really sent on this to a gritty.
And Paul Anthony, having the mind of a child, is really just sort of thinking, is this true?
Is this what happened?
Like, what's all this you're telling me?
Then he punches him and knocks him out, doesn't he?
Yeah, then for example.
Yeah, then for example, a source point of water over man, a source point of him.
And it's just pure, believe in this horrible, believe in this.
It's just, it's, it's, I know this sort of stuff as well.
I know, I don't know if, but he's as bad of this, but I know of this sort of, you know, it's just where it's pure.
Well, this is why psychological bullying can be as, and this is both, but it can be as bad as physical as well.
In this case, Paul Anthony's getting both.
Meanwhile, this is flip, though, flip, flip the door.
Let's see, it's absolutely because Richard finds an axe and he says, oh, look at that, Anthony.
Oh, it's a bit blunt. Don't go, I can remember that though.
You could still look at yourself on that.
It's still looking at his brother, but he's found a fucking big axe, which I'm sure he can sharpen up because he's a man of the army.
Looking at Alfred's brother is not actually there.
Yes.
So, the gang carry on discussing what's going on and all of a sudden, two other six turn up, Gypsy John and big, big alternate.
The guys who are the last time you saw them, a kind of spring paint was being shaken and they assume that so's tough and herbie have pranked them because one of them said his head sprayed.
Purple or something and the other one said, big, what a knob or something sprayed on his, the back of his, he said, it's got to be 200 pounds.
This suit, you've read a knob on the back of it.
And they're like, well, wasn't me. It wasn't me because Sonny's there and he says, guys, calm down. It wasn't them. Same things happen to me.
They start discussing Richard then.
So, he's some kind of a commando man.
Okay, oh my god, right, he knows some shit and they realize that actually this guy can get in and out of the houses without them detecting him.
He's managed to do all this shit to them.
What else could he do? This might be quite serious now at this point, especially with what we're learning through flashbacks that they did to Anthony.
And the next thing he says is, where's the girl?
We need to get the girl.
What was her name? We need to speak to her.
And we need to make sure that she doesn't tell anybody anything as well. So there was a girl involved at some point as well, which we'll see in a moment.
Which is the next flashback, which is where they find out that Anthony is a virgin and they essentially force a girl to go upstairs while he's asleep in the bed and get it on with him.
Basically, raping him, I guess you could say, because he kind of went with it a bit towards the end, but again, it's just really abusive and incredibly humiliating because they all come upstairs and watch the last few seconds of it from the outside of the door.
And then when it's all done and dusted, as in when he's shot his load, they all come in the room going, "YEEE!"
And then they give him drinks and more splits and more drugs.
I think when a younger watcher, it was just like the fact that they just said to this girl, "Go now, sex."
But then that gives you more of a backstory for her because you're like, "So she just has sex with any of them all the time?"
And then it goes to like, "Why, like Anthony, why is she hanging out with them?"
And then it goes further into the psychological that, "She's got no one else and that gives them the sex."
But she's also scared to not hang out with them because he does say to her, "If you don't, he threatens her, I can't remember how I be."
He says to her, "If you don't go in there and do it."
So we cut back to present day and I absolutely love this fucking scene.
Probably one of the best scenes with Paddy in it, which is they're all driving along five of them.
Did you say very quickly that he visited her, that Aidee?
That hasn't come up yet. That comes up in a moment.
The way tip is at her, all rammed and crammed in a car together.
And as they're driving along, Richard...
No, they did. They do see her first before.
Okay, that's...
But I've got it later in my nose.
I'm talking about the bit where they were actually going round to the girls' house.
They just been showing who had sex with her. They show her now.
And they knock on the door and stuff.
And they treat her like shit and they play with their kids a bit.
That's her mum. So they ask where she is.
And her mum says, "She's not... I don't know where she is."
And they almost beat her up. The girl's mum.
No, that's her. Now.
That's her. Yeah.
I thought that was her mum.
I've got her outside in the head of where they're playing around with her kids.
No, that's her, now.
Oh, it's horrible. So I wouldn't look that's even Sonny's kid, you know?
I don't know. No, because she's...
No, because... Yeah, no, I don't actually don't show who she's with.
Sorry, you are right. But yeah, on the way back from there,
then they're driving along.
This is great.
They're feeling good because they've just beaten up a girl pretty much.
Yeah, they're twats.
And they basically know that this dude's after them.
So they're like, "Oh, son, they're just going along the road."
And he's just... And this is great though.
He's standing there, hands in pockets, no, without a room with camera,
standing next to him.
And the car comes on and they're like, "I know, they slam."
What? I hardly say slam the brakes on.
He says to Anthony, go and stand on the corner over there.
Yeah, and make the brother go off in the foreground, the background.
And in the foreground, it is Richard standing there.
And I love this, though, because this is the point where you get like
the certain points in movies where it's good matchups, team ups, things like that.
This is like Paddy is a force to be reckoned with.
This is like a western now, isn't it?
And this is the other guy who's like the one which we've established
is the cool-lever guy who's the big dealies, the one who's like the hard guy, he's the leader.
So he has... This is why this movie works so well on so many levels.
He has to show his dominance in front of everyone in the car that he's the fucking man.
He also knows that this guy is not mucking around.
And he has to go up to him and just kind of... I love the fact he stands there, face to face, face to face,
but then to make it easier, goes stands at the side like facing the road with him.
And I actually thought that was quite good.
And I was just loving the dominance between the both.
Who's got the power and who hasn't?
We come up to Paddy and he says, "Oh yeah, you're Richard and he goes, "Yeah."
And he goes, "Did you come in my eye, sir?" And he goes, "Yeah, that was me."
And he goes, "Oh." And he suddenly thinks, "Fuck, I've got to change tactics here."
Because he straight away admitted he did it.
So he says, "Do you like painting up men to look like women?"
And he doesn't really answer that.
And then he says, "What do you want?"
And he goes, "Don't you worry about it?"
And he says, "Where are you staying?" He says, "No, I'm up at whatever the name of the farm is."
"Why? You're going to come and see me?"
And he says, "We might do."
And he goes, "Oh, yeah, it does like a big fake shiver."
"Oh, a lot of scared, yeah."
And then he goes, "You don't seem very scared or intimidated."
And Richard holds it as hand and he goes, "No, I'm fucking not. See my hand there."
And then he points to the palm of his hand and goes, "That's you, Lord."
Right there in the palm of my fucking hand.
And I can fucking end you anytime I want.
Yeah, I'm going to hit you all.
And he goes, "Oh, it sounds like a threat to me."
It's not a threat. It's far from fucking threats.
I can slice your fucking neck and your feet.
What he says is, "I'm going to hit you all."
Not threatening you, mate. Beyond words.
"Oh, it's just going for you."
When you slept, I was that close to slicing your neck.
You're there, mate. So, getting that car and fuck off.
It's just a...
And you're just going to watch it.
The others can't hear. They could just see them sort of...
They're at the... He cuts them and they're like, "What's he saying?"
"Is he going to punch him?"
"What's he going on?"
And then when he starts coming back to the car, they're all going, "Why is he coming back? He's not done anything. What's the... What's coming on?"
And then everybody's walking back, he's just like, "Oh, God."
Because he gets to the car and he's basically like, "We're going to have to fucking doom."
Yeah, well, he gets back in the car and they go for a team meeting.
I put there a gang meeting.
They basically say, "Look, he means business. This is serious."
And they go, "What can we do? He's not going to stop."
And Sonny says, "I think the only thing we can do is drive out to that farm. One of us law him out of the barn."
And we're just doing them. And they go, "What do you mean doing?"
And he goes, "We'll shoot him."
"Well, I've got to shoot him."
"I'll take a pop."
"No, I'll take a pop at him."
And he goes, "What do you mean take a pop?"
And he goes, "We'll shoot him."
"I've got to shoot him."
Now, I love this bit because, "Okay, that guy is hanging out the main guy."
Has he been around that, has he killed someone? Absolutely not.
I don't know. I think he might have done.
No, I'm going to say definitely not, but he's probably known people who have.
And it's been talked about and it doesn't kind of freak him too much.
Yeah, he's been around a lot of violence.
So the Stona Pornobrothers in no way in their mind ever,
did they wake up this morning as their stoners as they are,
just thinking that they're going to have to be involved in someone being killed.
Now just being involved, not even if you do it,
just being there and knowing about it and you don't go to please,
you would go down.
So you're already involved.
You're either going to go to prison or get away with it or and kill someone.
So it's not good prospects either way.
Well, the last thing Stony says before one of them heads down to the toilet is,
look, he's not going away.
So this is the only solution.
He's clearly not going away and he means business.
So Herbie goes off to go to the toilet and he finds one of the big boys from earlier dead in the toilet with the words one dang written in blood on the wall.
And this gets all slashery now, doesn't it?
Well, the thing is it's so good here because yeah, the best thing is that we know the slasher,
we know we've got a team of people who are going to try and go against the slasher.
There's a lot better than me.
The Halloween kills, that's for sure.
And I love the fact that he's upped it to say to them like,
I'm fucking going to do it.
And he's snuck in there.
Hammered this guy, killed him, wrote on the walls and snuck back out.
I think he asked him.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, you're right.
Because what he's done is just to make sure that they know that it was just that wasn't an empty promise that on the side of the road.
He could have probably taken all of them out there if he wanted to because there's no way if he does a stunt into that room with a fucking X.
Fucking hell.
That's a different feel.
Like they would like to see it.
Yeah, they would be so freaked out.
They wouldn't know what to do.
None of them are going to have like a gun or put out.
Some of them would be too stoned.
They'd be like, fuck it out.
One of them, one of them might have got out, but they would all, but so he, I think he could have probably taken them all out easily.
Well, cut to the morning because they've all been up all night drinking and playing cards trying to get the red room.
What they're going to be doing in the morning.
Cut to the morning and we've got a beautiful focus on playing as the citron heads heads up to the old farm.
And uh,
Sonny pulls out a big word of cash.
The rules is going to be there.
He's going there to give him some money, but obviously it's actually to pull him out so they can shoot him.
Yeah, it gives a big word of cash.
This is a big owl.
This whole scene which plays out which I'll let you say it is just goes to show what fucking plongkas these guys are doing.
This is like something from last of the summer wine if it was like, it's like a slightly gangstery.
Yeah, it's just like what the shit is.
Because they head to the farm and he hands about a couple of hundred pounds probably in cash to big owl Sonny.
And he says, right, you're the one that's got to go and get him out of the barn.
So as he steps up the car, they'll go, good luck, good luck.
Oh, yeah, good luck mate.
Yeah, choose me.
And he's not liking it as he walks up.
He's just like, oh God.
And as he gets there, Richard just kind of.
He can be here.
And he's just like, what the fuck are you doing in my you fucking you know, bassie saying to him, you've got some balls fucking coming here.
He's caught off guard and the thing is though, if someone was a good aim, this would have gone all differently, wouldn't it?
Yeah, but unfortunately as Richard is walking forwards and hours backing up, Sonny takes aim with his one shot that he's got and just blows the back of big owls head off.
And they'll go, oh my God, you shot out in the head.
Well, you shot him.
This is a bit like pop footage of it.
If it was in rural Britain, isn't it?
And you shot my eye in the face.
Richard just sees this.
It's a season full to the floor.
It looks back at them.
It's almost like you fucking dickheads.
And he knows there was only one shot.
So he then puts his arms up in the eye like Jesus.
It starts with the cancer wall around us right up.
Right, it's in like what the fuck?
And he's got a big smile on his face, doesn't he?
Oh, they fucking speed off in that dolly.
It's such a dolly as fast as they can.
He knows that we're not getting first bud to actually there, but he did do first bud.
But now they retaliate, he's like, nice fucking let's do it.
So good.
Well, it's a fucking sport.
We get a few more flashbacks here.
And then we cut to the car has broken down.
The gearbox is broken.
And they can't fix it.
They don't know what they, it's a few hours walk back to time.
What they're going to do.
No, they're just like, oh.
Well, tough.
It starts crying, doesn't he?
He says, oh, he's going to kill her.
He's going to kill her, don't want to be involved in this.
And he sort of goes off on his own.
So I'm scared.
And the other three are like, well, I guess we'll have to walk back to time.
It's going to take fucking hours.
To be fair, the toughs are tough just getting out of there.
I, that's not a bad idea.
It obviously doesn't end up well because we find out.
But it's not a bad idea because he could have just left, actually left town, just got to fuck out of there.
Because those guys are going to be involved with prisoner murder, you know?
Yeah.
Well, we get this now, shot of them walking for ages until they get home.
Well, that's happening.
We get Richard and Anthony sat back to back, sharing their memories.
I, I, I've met only child.
You've got a brother.
Have you ever done, I always thought I've never done that.
Sat back to back with someone.
Yeah, probably done it probably more than my sister because she's only 18 months younger than me.
So it's kids who probably use each other as a rest.
I quite like that.
It's just nice.
I mentally put that there as a, that's a fuck a, a thing.
Using each other as a rest, I could, you know what I mean?
So a support.
Yeah, it's something that kids do.
But I've done it with friends in the playground.
I've done it with friends in the playground.
This is a bit where he talks about football and he says, I don't need to hold your hand.
Do I?
Meaning, I'm dead, but also meaning I'm your brother.
So I can hold your hand whenever I want.
So it's a double meaning there.
And they, the other guys get home.
The first thing you do is check the fucking house out.
So they get a sword, a mini crossbow, a little knife, and they check every inch of that house.
And the thing is though, like, again, this film is so realistic.
Everything that happens, like leads on to the next scene.
Is it an actual thing which nothing's like out of the, like, oh, that's not going to happen.
Yeah.
You know, this is what they do.
And again, a sense of safety.
When they get to the last room, they're like, no, we're clear, we're clear.
I'm with them.
Oh, thank God for that.
Even though, like, then we can't see him.
And he's underneath us there.
Okay.
Well, he's in the, he's in the pantry under the stairs.
Yeah.
And what he does, while they're all upstairs, he sneaks into the kitchen.
Just go back to what you said before I describe that.
You're right.
The everything they do is so realistic.
This isn't the sort of film where someone would go into the cellar and not turn the light on or something.
You know, this is a real estate film.
Totally.
Everything is an action which generally would happen.
But while they're upstairs checking all the bedrooms and under the beds, he sneaks into
the kitchen in his gas mask and he empties a shit ton of acid, LSD, coat, mushrooms into the
kettle and then fucks off again so that they then decide, well, what we're going to do now
is make a nice cup of tea each and a few pot noodles.
So for anyone not from the UK, a pot noodle is a big plastic pot, like a pint-sized plastic
pot with dried noodles.
You know the sort of thing, everyone's got them ramen noodles, wherever you're from in
the world.
You've got these dried noodles.
You pour boiled water into it and then that's your dinner.
It's a very student.
It's the terrible dinner.
There's so much saturated fat.
If you look at it, you're like, how much, why is there so much saturated fat in some fucking
noodles?
It's terrible.
Really bad food.
They're obviously eating these noodles and drinking this tea, tainted with water that's got
every drug known to man in it, which is just, now we're just on to kank dang really, so
it's going to happen.
Exactly what you're saying.
As it starts kicking in because they then start drinking a load of vodka and I really find
these next couple of bits so funny to see them progressively get more and more fat.
One thing on this film is incredible and I say this with, I don't generally say this
very much for many films and I say this with the fact that I do this in post anyway.
Incredible sound design.
The sound mixed down and the sound design is so good.
When it's, first of all, our instance is when we cut it into his head, which is an easy
thing to do.
It's kind of the head of what he hears in the mask.
You've done it in a beginning of Halloween, the young Markle Mars, the first John Copter
sound.
So it's not that impressive, but it's an introduction
to sound design a little bit.
But then when they get fucked, it's the cutting back forward too.
This is incredible sound design in fact really.
We've got the muted sounds and the fucked up sounds of what they're hearing as what they
would hear in their heads.
But then we cut into it clear dialogue for when he speaks, so he takes gas mask off, he's
speaking to them.
And the fact that they've chosen this, the sound designer has chosen these two dynamics
and put them together is incredible.
I don't think a general person would pick up on that, but it was really, really impressive.
What that does, what you've just described also does is it really elevates the sense of
where a lot of drugs.
Yes.
Because it's really hard to capture the feeling of being on lots and lots of drugs.
It's rarely done very well, but this sound design and the visuals and the acting of course
really elevate this next few scenes.
So we're through the next few scenes which is they don't want to be apart from each other.
They're not fully aligned yet.
First of all, we're so tired.
I love the fact that you can see when they have the cup tea, they look like two, three
and a more, I've been to people before.
They barely slap, you know what I mean?
It's like I've been to give before DJ and you get back in, it's two, three and a half
and a few people and you're like, "Oh, have a cup tea."
Then it's the bed, the fuck it exhausted.
They're at that stage, but that's because the drugs haven't hit them.
And then we see the regression of them getting higher and higher.
Well, we suddenly cut two sunnies in the bar.
Because they don't want them to be visually.
One of them's taking a shit.
It's also taking a shit while her be sat opposite them, both reading a magazine and
it's really small bar from all together, one's naked, one's taking a shit.
And it's so sad, obviously, like this is the drugs kick in it.
Yeah.
But also they don't want to leave each other though.
And then it cuts to them just domestically washing up and sorting the recycling out.
"Oh no, your tin's going there and your plastic's going there."
No, it cuts a little bit outside.
It's like a cleaning binge in the kitchen.
I really get into it and then it's disgusting recycling.
It's like, "Oh, the drugs are really starting to kick in now."
And then they start drinking again and then they start weightlifting.
They do.
And at the one point when the main guy was like, "Take it off, be taken off me."
But then they're hallucinogenic's kicking.
Yeah, because he starts saying, "If you fed your fish today, he's going to feed it every morning."
And he asks him about 20 times.
"If you've heard this fish," and then he starts saying, "Why is my face feels really puffy?"
And he goes, "Let me have a close look."
"I think it's all right."
And they're really paranoid and they're starting to start really trippant now.
We got to a few more flashbacks of perhaps Richard of Anthony getting high as well.
And then all of a sudden they're all sort of sat in the room.
Fuck, one of them's licking the ball.
This is when the sounds are really kicks in as well.
One of them is, "Saus is licking the ball."
The other two, one of them is sort of led on the floor and the other one's sat in a chair.
And they're all completely bulls deep in every hallucinogenic you can think of.
And all of a sudden, Sous is licking the ball, looks to his right and he sees Richard stood there.
And he says to him, "He's a devil."
And he goes, "No, I'm not the devil."
And he says, "Are you God?"
He goes, "Oh, no, I'm not God."
"Can I touch you?"
Yeah, can I touch you? "Don't you fucking touch me, get your hands off me."
And then he says, "Come on, then dance at my party."
"All of you, this is my party."
"Are you dancing?"
And he makes them all sort of get out the ones that can stand and sort of lurch about in a weird manner.
And they're all freaking out because they know that he's real, but also they know
they're fucked and they're kind of figuring out what bits are real and what bits aren't.
And it's all for them, really scary.
And those guys must have like, you know, if you're actually like in this,
it was actually playing out, they must have been like, imagine that though,
being so fucked and having that going on.
But the worst of it is though, it just,
it just goes worse and worse because he's like, "Right, and he just starts taking them out."
Well, he says to me, he says, "You guys all thought you could get away with it, didn't you?"
And he says, "Right, I'm going to take you away now."
And then he goes, "Where are you taking me?"
And he goes, "Just come with me." And he sort of drags him on his hands and needs his cruel and
he drags him into the kitchen. And then we see him put a plastic back over his head.
And he can't fight him off because he's so fucked.
And then he just shoots him in the head.
Yeah, wow.
It's just really quick to the point.
And that's why again, this film is so realistic.
It's, yeah.
And then he goes back to the...
It's the fact that he takes the main guy.
So the lady guy, we thought, oh, is he going to have a big finale with this guy?
Like in the year traditional fucking Hollywood movie, do you not mean?
No, he takes him by the hand and he kneel and he sees on his kneeling along as he walks kind of on his knees,
being taken out by a hand like a child, puts his bag up just on his head in the way you just said it.
And then just looks up to the ceiling and then straight down,
boom, just shoots him and then puts a book gun in his face and just walks into the other room.
Straight is no muck around. It's the point that we've done, we've done, we've done.
He goes back into the room and he says to Saul's right.
I want to just stand there, attention.
And he makes him stand up. Now, Saul's the character played by Neil Bell.
He was going to be killed much earlier in the film, but because he was so good at ad-libbing
and really got a lot out of the other characters, they put, they wrote this death scene in
and really changed it a lot to make his character last a little bit longer.
And it's brutal.
Well, he says to him, I'm going to end you.
He says, what are you going to do? He says, I'm going to end you.
I'm going to put your fucking nights out once and for all.
And he does like one of those palm strikes to the nose that only someone in the army
will know how to do. And I guess drives his fucking nose into his brain and kills him.
But it's not particularly bloody to kill, but you hear and you know what he's done.
Because that guy just goes down like a sack of shit and he's done.
So that's two of them done.
And the other guy though is that, and this is the guy right for the beginning.
He is there and he's starting to sober up and you notice as well.
Because the way he's looking, he's starting to get like, oh, this is like, oh,
some consciousness is coming into it a little bit more.
He says, to her be, yeah, stay there.
Could I show you something?
I want to show you something.
This is a bit like, and I know, oh, like, what is he going to show him?
This is a bit like, do you want to see something really scary?
And that's why I like to show it, isn't it?
I don't know.
Stay there. I want to show you something and he brings a suitcase in, drags in,
quite a heavy looking suitcase.
And I remember the first time I saw this scene, I was like, this is the thing that's stuck with me.
It still gets rather than the...
I'm really, I'm kind of forgotten actually.
And he says to him, well, certainly goes, I just watch you think it is, it's a suitcase.
Open it.
Open it up, in case you don't want to open it.
I don't want to, he goes, open it.
He's based that he's fucked, but his, his fucking brain has just seen his friend die and he knows his friend died.
He hasn't actually consciously gone into his head that he's going to die, but he's going into like this really like
childish kind of like, where he's like, I don't want to open it.
It's very sort of real like going in on himself, like, like, scared, you know.
What he opens up and inside is tough.
Tough is been squashed and cut up and rammed into a suitcase.
And the first thing he says, no, he goes, that's not really tough and he goes, it is.
He goes, no, he goes, yeah, that's your mate.
Do you want to give him a little kiss?
Go on, he goes, I don't want to.
And then he says, I don't want, are you frightened?
He says it in such a gentle way, but he goes, Sonic, is he frightened?
He says, yeah, he says, do you want me to close it?
Yeah, please close it.
I don't want to see it.
He goes, shall I close it?
Okay, I'll close it now.
And it's like a child he's talking to.
Well, it's when he first does actually open it up.
The first thing he does actually do, he sits back in the chair and when it goes, oh no,
it's just that the way he does like this.
Oh, it's the fact that he goes, oh no, because he's my new that that's going to be a dead body.
And it opens it goes, oh no, I'm right.
You know, and it's like, oh my god.
And now Richard really shows his psychotic side note because he says to him,
now look, Kirby, you're alive because you're a good man.
I'm not going to kill you.
He just fucks with this dude's head.
You know, why would I kill you?
You're a good man and he starts, he's crying.
He goes, you're frightened.
You're not really going to kill me.
Hard to lose someone close to you, isn't it?
Isn't it, mate?
It says, it allows the little things, you know?
Yeah, he says, look, all right, I need to know.
He goes, what did you do that?
He goes, because he ran away.
And he says, there's one other guy and you're going to give you the information
and the address of whether it's the other guy is, but I'm going to let you live
because you're a good man.
Why would I kill you?
Because you mean that?
It's more than it's playful.
He goes, yeah, I mean it.
Look at me.
I could have killed you by now if I wanted to.
And he's...
Right, I've never been into a situation where everything in my whole mind
has gone out of me.
Like nothing matters anymore.
My possessions don't matter.
My DVD collection don't marry me, because I'm about to die.
I've never had the ex situation have been in.
This guy is so fucked and he's in this point and all of a sudden,
he's saying to don't worry, it's going to be okay.
He's just going into like, oh, like his mind must be into so many different trauma.
He's wiping the tears away, like relieved that he's not going to be killed.
I'm not going to be killed.
And he says, oh, great.
He says, he says, he gives him the address of the last person that was involved in
in Toby's, in Anthony's torture.
And he says, and he says, oh, was that nice for me?
And he goes, yeah, and he goes, you weren't going to use it.
I mean, you guys, were you?
And he goes, no, I wasn't going to really do any fun.
And he goes, of course you were.
We're mates, aren't we?
Come here.
He shakes his hand, then he hugs him.
And he goes, you're okay.
You're all right.
Gives us another hug.
And he gives us a nice hug.
And then he grabs a knife and shoves it up into his,
between his ribs, into his lungs.
He's done.
And he lured him in.
He was torturing him, just like they did to his brother,
right up into the last second.
Because he's got no soul at all now.
He's like Michael Myers, man.
He's just done.
And then we go.
So we cut back to day four now, Richard and Anthony walking
in the country.
And they're off to the final little town or village
to find this last person.
Offer a little visit.
And the children of the last person show up at their home.
And the mum says, what have you got there?
They've only got this knife and this gas mask.
What?
Yeah, a man gave it to us in the park, a soldier.
What the fuck?
So she takes it off them.
She's obviously quite annoyed.
And they say, oh, he said he knows that.
And she's like, that's weird.
Shut up, that's not.
Oi, get down here now.
So she tells the tellser who has been.
And he says, well, take the kids off for a bit.
And second, the car, he takes them off
because he says, go find his person.
So he takes the kids out.
The kids are going to go and show him who it was.
So you can go like, what are you doing?
The second is car is around the corner.
Well, we see Richard coming up to the house from behind the wall.
He's in the middle of the wall, kind of real low.
And then he ducks down, sees him drive off.
He drives off, he hops over the wall and goes up to the house.
He knocks on the door and he says, hello.
Is whatever's name in, mark, is Mark in?
And she says, no, can I help you?
Oh, I'm in town.
I'm an old friend of his, my name's Richard.
She goes, oh, yeah.
Do you know my boys?
Have you seen my boys?
He goes, oh, yeah.
I saw them in the park earlier.
Lovely boys, really lovely.
She goes, did you give them a knife and a mask?
And he goes, I did, yeah.
She's like, well, that's not very safe.
And he goes, oh, it's blunt.
She goes, yeah, but I still don't want you to give in a knife to my kid.
And he goes, no, okay, you're a good woman.
You're a good, good man.
I see that.
Okay, well, can you just tell Mark that Richard came?
He should know me.
I'm Anthony's brother.
See you later.
And she sits on the stairs for hours.
Now, it doesn't, she waiting for Mark to come home with the kids.
Yeah, she's quite intimidated by the whole situation.
They get back and he's like, what are you doing in the dark?
She says, oh, all right, you got to the stairs playing your PlayStation.
And she says, right, that guy came round here.
The second you left, he knocked on the door.
And he said, he's Anthony's brother or something.
And that you know him, his name is Richard.
And this is very Richard reveals everything to his wife,
cronies eyes out, and we get the remaining last bit of the flashback really now,
which is that they all went out in a van one day,
all of the gang and Anthony loads of drugs.
And they forced loads and loads of LSD into Anthony.
Then they went out to him like an older band in school and a church connected.
And they basically put a new surround his neck and they put his head for a hole in a wall
and they put him in a cage and they humiliated him.
And then they told him to stay with his head in the wall and told him that
your brother hates you, everyone hates you.
You know, you're in the devil's house, you want to go to the devil's house.
He's like, crying, oh, don't want to go to the devil's house because he's like a child.
And then they all just drove off and left him.
And what they didn't know was that when they all drove off and left him,
the drug's neck anyway.
Yeah, the drug's got to him.
The dark thought's got to him is maybe his mental illness got to him.
Everything and yeah, he ended up hanging himself.
I don't know how he'd done it though.
I don't know, but he did it.
And yeah, so obviously Mark's wife is really upset.
Mark's really upset.
This though here though, this would be the twist if you don't know the films.
The first time.
All of a sudden you see him hanging himself.
You're like, oh my god, he's actually dead.
He's been dead the whole time.
Those on you now sort of the next few minutes, you're sort of going, uh, your mind's racking around.
The fact you've had a six sense twist.
And as that twist sort of wraps up, the last flashback we see was Anthony's Fumel,
Richard stood there and he's got no expression on his face at all.
That he's already planned what he's going to do.
This idea, this is going to spoil the movie a little bit.
There's a movie called Bull.
BU-L-L was the main guy from Kielist.
Don't think I've seen it.
British movie, kind of a wrench film.
Kind of like this, but I'm spoiling it a bit that way.
But the ending kind of just doesn't live up to as good as this.
But kind of the same vein if you want to see something fairly recent.
Wasn't Netflix a little while actually?
Okay.
Well, it's not as good because it's just a bit of a silly ending.
Well early morning, day five now.
So it's only been five days and he's torn through this gang.
Mark wakes up in the morning and Richard sat opposite him with a knife against his throat.
I love the fact that there's a little thing that you don't know.
He's sleeping on the sofa which was good because it just
be like, well, how could we get him to do away quickly?
Well, let's just have him sleep on the sofa.
But then we can go to what's he said on the sofa?
Because they would have had this discussion when they're about to shoot it.
Go, how are we going to play this out when they're blocked it?
And then we can say that he said to him,
right, you're fucking sleeping on the sofa if it's like, you know, do you not mean?
He's pissed off here. It works. Sneaky, he was sneaky levels.
I mean, should mention that he seems genuinely sad that this event happened.
He was probably the least involved at that.
When he's doing a story and talking about it, he's then a background
and you can see that he's not into it.
And it is, it's a weird thing from all to do anyway.
I'm glad they were all fucking killed to be honest with you,
fucking bunch of Wasters.
And it's just the modest sense of humour and entertainment to do.
It's like, do something else with your life.
Like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Richard says to him, and then I get up, we're going for a drive.
Get your car keys.
Don't make a sound.
If you make any sound or shove this knife into your spine,
so he makes my guy out and they get in the car and they go off for a drive.
This point here, this makes me remind me of how much I hate early mornings.
It was just the only morning.
I see many constant dinners.
It's not that opposite.
It's not like early mornings.
It's always what's that guy.
God, I fucking hate early mornings.
I can't imagine how scared it must be to wake up with that guy's sound.
That's what I know.
Not just the fact that he's early.
He makes him drive back to the spot where Anthony died.
He's like, "I need you."
He's like, "Little barn."
And then he does the whole nice and simple dialogue.
He says, "Do you know why you're here?"
And he basically provokes him into confessing.
And I think some of the stuff that he says about his brother is to get into confess.
Yeah, well,
no, because he says afterwards.
He's already confessed.
Then he says, "Do you know what is a fucking embarrassment to me?"
And then he does impressions of him.
So is that a weird revenge thing?
Or is he going to do that to provoke him to?
Because at that point is he to provoke him to kill him?
I think it's all of the above.
I think it is to provoke him to confess and to kill him.
I'm making him feel better about doing it because he says,
he says to him, "What did you do?"
If you could go back and change anything and he says,
"I should have done something.
I should have said something.
I should have gone back."
And he says, "Yeah, wish you are.
I fucking wish you are."
Because you've got to stop a lot of carnage.
I've executed every single one of them.
Yeah, it says these are monster stuff.
But there's a bit where it's really for the first time he actually breaks down.
And this is a really good point here.
He talks to Anthony, but for the first time,
because we know he's a twist now, Anthony's not there.
And it's the first time he just says, "I can't do it kid.
I can't do it.
Take the knife from me."
Because he realized that this dude's a family guy and he just can't kill this one.
The strong, sorry kid, I can't do it.
And he's talking to Anthony.
The hardest hit in line in this entire film is this line he says here.
He says to Mark,
was he screaming when you were a torture in him?
And he says, "Yeah," he says, "was he screaming like, yeah, was he screaming my name?
Was he screaming for his brother?
Was he screaming for me?"
And Mark says he was and he says, "Yeah, he still is."
He still is.
That voice is still in his head.
Even though he wasn't there,
he hears his brother screaming his name,
knowing that his brother died at the hands of these assholes.
That cuts me up, man.
I'm getting goosebumps and a bit of tears just saying it now.
Like that kind of person.
Is when Paddy delivers that, he still is.
Fuck, you know, man.
If you don't have a tear in your eye at that point,
well, then he says to him, "You were supposed to be in a monster, but now I'm the beast."
And it's just that all of this dialogue and stuff is so strong.
And it's just like, "You're just going through watching the movie,
going, oh my god, like the Cousinian Accrescendo of this film is incredible."
He says, "Take this knife from me, please."
I don't know what I'm capable of.
He says, "I don't want to."
He says, "Stick this knife from me, please."
And then Mark says, "I've got kids, I can't."
I think of your children because he pretty much says to him, "I will kill them all."
Yeah.
"Oh, fucking stork, you were family."
And then another line, he says, "Please, I just want to lie with my brother."
An incredible sound is on again here as well.
Yeah, yeah.
I just want to lie with my brother, fucking hell.
And he can tell that he's totally tall, man, but I do this.
And just, yeah, he wants it to be finished because he knows he's just going to carry on.
So he basically sort of...
And he does, like, himself.
Where he's brother-died.
Yeah.
And there's that insane spot.
He kind of helps Mark do it, but he falls on the knife, but Mark also has to stab it at the same time.
And Mark cries.
He leaves the building, runs off, and Rich has led there in a puddle of blood,
bleeding out, and we know he's going to die.
And that church, him, that choir starts singing.
I'm thinking...
I'm over the fields to finish the film.
Fucking hell.
Honestly, guys, I'm disappointed in you if you didn't take a warning,
watch this before, if you haven't seen it.
And if you haven't, I hope you've been inspired to watch this film.
Paddy Constantine is a force to be reckoned with.
His acting is phenomenal.
And yes, on paper, this might be a revenge flick, but there's so much deeper than that.
I know.
And...
I was always used this as like a...
If I ever...
This has always been my inspiration for wanting to make revenge flick.
It's just such a good movie.
I always feel like it's never been seen almost.
Or people never talk about it.
The other thing that Empire said about this when it came out,
Empire Magazine, they said,
"This might be... This might do for slasher's...
What 28 days later did for zombie films,
but I don't think it really took off in the same way."
What are they talking about?
That's nonsense.
In that, in that it's gritty, and it's based in realism.
Yeah, I think it's like an entrepreneurship.
I don't think so.
I think 20 days later it's based on the first...
It's not a slasher film.
I mean, it wouldn't want another movie like this, but then it actually...
But it is.
It's the blueprint of a slasher film.
It's a totally...
It's a guy in a mask at times going around killing off certain people for a revenge.
That's what every slasher is, especially with the mask.
But it's just done in a very grounded way.
And I think that what they were saying is...
It's done in a very grounded way.
20 days later it was done in a grounded homegrown way.
Or a bigger budget.
But it never took off sadly in that way.
Which is crazy.
But everybody I know that's seen this movie loves it.
I don't know anybody who's seen this and doesn't love it.
Yeah, it was just in the video shot we just picked it up one day.
I don't know if it would have been fucking pimped or premiered or marked as well.
But then again, people might not know what they got as executives
or publishers or marketers or whatever the fuck.
They might not really realise what they've got here.
I don't know, if you enjoy cinema and definitely enjoy a good revenge film,
this is a...
And especially in English one, you get this...
This is like, you kind of get a couple of old Michael Cain ones.
What's the Michael Cain film?
I like it.
Get a car, sir.
That's a good one.
Don't watch the Silver Star one.
Watch that recently actually.
It's like, "Oh, come on, it's fucking shit."
Really bad.
"Gruity shit."
Obviously this is a thumbs up from Gavin.
I'm going to speak for you, Gavin.
But it's definitely a massive thumbs up for us.
It's a film gods movie to me.
Yeah.
You know, it's just an incredible achievement in filmmaking on such a small budget.
It just goes to show what you can do with an incredible cast and a great script
and a good eye behind the camera.
It's just phenomenal.
My one thing I was going to say though,
my one...
The one flaw.
Get rid of the...
The audio music.
Apart from that, the plot hole for me is...
How would Richard know what happened to Anthony?
Because Anthony died.
He never would have been able to tell anybody the intricacies of all the torture.
The guys would never have admitted it to anybody or wrote it down or had it in a police interview.
So all of those flashbacks, my friends.
Yeah, it's a mate.
It's made up.
That's what he thinks they did to him in his head.
No, he's not seeing that.
Those images for us, the viewer.
That's not for Richard.
Richard can't back known that he was bullied.
But how does it...
He doesn't know that they tortured him.
How does he know that?
Well, no. I imagine...
I don't know exactly, but he doesn't know the details.
I imagine that he knows...
They're too much, really.
I don't think you should know.
That kind of...
That kind of spoils it.
I know, that's what I mean.
I thought about that after I watched it this much.
It's not even...
It's not even really cares.
It doesn't matter because it's an incredible movie.
It does matter.
But thank you, Matthew, because it's definitely one that we would have loved to cover at some point.
And probably would have done.
We would have done.
But...
Well, we do this thing.
Okay, well, everyone wants to know what,
or just watch a movie.
I'm like,
"That'll make a cracking conversation."
And our message down, say, "add it to the list."
And he added to the list.
I think Dead Man Shoes probably actually don't know.
Yeah, it's on now.
Yeah, I haven't seen it for many years since we've done podcasts.
So, if I had done,
I would have been messaging you off with saying,
"Put it on there."
So, yeah.
This would have been good paired up with someone like Kill List,
which we've already covered anyway.
But yeah, why?
What a movie.
Well,
let's move away from that,
because there's a lot to unpack in that emotionally.
But, Gav,
I've just opened my shed.
Oh!
And it's been a year,
but we are going into the time tunnel.
Get you ready to get time travelling?
I haven't got myself a pants, though.
Hang on, there they are.
Why are they so shiny if you've been rubbing them?
They've been in the cupboard under the stairs,
and there's a leak, so they're a bit moistened damp.
There's a leak in my pants.
Yeah, don't worry about that.
Now, there is one I am in the middle of doing some repairs,
because it's been a year since I've used it.
There is only one seat now
in this time machine.
So, we do have to sit.
Do you want to sit on my lap?
Or should I sit on yours?
How many ups and downs bumps is there going to be?
Because I don't know if I want to be but more top.
How many do you want?
Why?
Hey!
I don't know.
I don't want any.
It's okay.
All right, let me press that button there.
Can you just reach over?
Grab that.
Let's do it.
Pull that one.
Yep.
It is getting tighter in here.
Yeah.
And we're getting bigger as it got smaller.
Is it shrunken or what?
Better both.
Right, hang on, let me just shut the store.
I'm ready.
Are you ready to go back to 2023?
Yep, let's go.
Right, hang on.
Whoa!
What's this machine?
This is my time machine.
Your time machine?
Yeah.
For the next five minutes, we are going to be the...
...Tinty.
The time machine.
What's that?
Let me know.
Look at that.
Oh, he's been dead 100 years.
Look at that.
Look at that.
That's a statue of liberty.
Come out of the side.
Oh, there's a dinosaur.
Oh, my god, look at that.
It's something else.
All right, now I'll get off my lap.
Sorry, sorry.
Right.
Explain.
Where are we?
We're in 2023.
What?
Hey!
What is it?
It's like, what's there so much condensation on your windows again?
I thought you thought of that.
It gets really hot on my side.
Right, so 2023, looking back.
What a year.
A year of change, Gav.
Lots changed this year.
I'll just...
I'll just quickly summarize some of the things that happened.
And then we'll go through some of the more bigger events.
Then we'll get into the horror movies that came out.
Because that's the main reason we travel back in time.
But 2023, the who declared the end of the COVID-19
pandemic this year.
Not the band.
Not the band, no.
I thought you said that.
I should have said it.
Look at that.
And that's what I thought you said.
So I'm just going to...
I don't remember the band.
That's the World Health Organization.
The band, the who, caught back together.
And when...
Right.
Oasis to clear the end of the pandemic.
We've decided.
Because we're not relevant whatsoever.
And we're just a band.
We've decided.
And it's finished.
All right, okay.
India overtook China in the most populated country in the world this year in 2023.
Really?
And the two letters that are on everyone's lips were AI.
And we'll get more into that in a moment.
Oh, I love me.
I know.
I know you do.
I know.
Some of the other words that were on people's lips were Barbie,
Oppenheimer.
There were two most talked about films of the year.
And...
The FIFA.
The FIFA Woman Soccer World Cup.
Was also something that people talked about a hell of a lot as well.
We also had the conflict carrying on between Russia and Ukraine.
And sadly, Israel launched the four-scale war on Hamas in the Palestinian Gaza.
So that happened too.
But yes, let's run through some of those bits and bobs that happened.
On a light a note, a new malaria vaccine was approved.
So we may be able to properly cure malaria now.
And the UK introduced a drug which seems to have the potential to cure breast cancer.
It has breast cancer rates and anyone that's been trialled on.
So fingers crossed that that is a thing as well.
I know you're going to get on to it, but with AI, there is one thing.
AI which will help is medical research.
It will start discovering things which we hadn't thought of.
Which will help people.
Well, I run through the year from January to December very briefly.
So in January of 2023, Prince Harry released his book, Spare.
I thought he said he released his album some reason then.
His rap album.
The Prince Harry.
The Fresh Prince of Westminster, wherever he's from.
Yeah, no, he released his book.
Everyone was talking about that because it basically said,
"How shit the royal family are."
I said, "Well, this shit came out as I'm not even going to put any of the words through my eyes into my head
and I'll just ignore everything."
Because it's like, it doesn't matter.
Who cares? It means nothing.
Also in January last year,
Buzz Aldrin celebrated his 93rd birthday.
Still going.
As the quotations first person on the moon?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe the first person on Stanley Kubrick set, who knows?
Was it Buzz? Was he in the first?
He was the...
Sorry, I've got it here.
The second man to set foot on the moon.
Yeah, that's right.
It's the first man on the moon.
Not Lance.
Lance.
No, Lance on the moon.
Now is Neil Armstrong.
I'm joking with you.
Lance on the moon.
It's the cyclist.
Neil Armstrong got on the moon first.
Oh, yeah.
February, Aussie Osborne.
Go on.
No, go on.
You nobody do you get Aussie Osborne impression?
Oh.
Sharon!
Aussie Osborne, Lance.
He's fine.
You can retire from touring.
He'd be 74.
No, he's not.
Because Sharon, I get a stick and go,
go on Aussie, out you go again.
Well, he's got Parkinson's and a spinal injury.
So he decided to quit touring.
I think he fell over on stage.
He's one at one point.
I thought about 30 years ago, he was going to stop touring
because he's looked too far.
I don't know how he still does it,
but I've said this before,
but there's an album that came out of his.
Now it's probably about 15 years ago.
It's a solo album.
It's pretty decent.
I didn't mind it.
And I listened to that full volume in my car.
And it got to the end of one of the songs.
And just the guitars ran out.
You can hear Aussie saying in the background,
because I had it full volume.
Is that it?
You know, all like that.
Can we finish now?
Can I go over whatever that is?
And it was like, oh my god, that's still in there.
And I reckon that they would probably snuck that in there.
The engineers, like fuck this, we keep that in.
Because they would have seen it.
There's no way they'd let that out.
So I reckon they'd have fucking keep that in there.
Nice.
You get that in a lot of hip-hop albums, don't you?
Yeah, but this is like almost bit of a diss though.
It's a bit like fucking,
you know, Sharon leaving my loan.
And also in February, sadly,
Turki and Syria were hit by a 7.8 magnitude earthquake
that killed just under 60,000 people.
And over the next three weeks, 10,000 aftershocks,
so 10,000 more mini earthquakes happened over the next three weeks.
It's the deadliest earthquake in Turkey since 526 A.D.
And the deadliest earthquake in Syria since 1822.
Yeah.
Adman, wasn't that?
Yeah, but we've seen quite a lot of
terrible things happen around the world,
which does mean that the population has decreased.
Well, the earth is getting overcrowded.
And I do sometimes think that this is,
and on the no way, celebrating these events,
please, that's not what I'm saying.
But what I do think is when these events happen,
is the earth,
you know, is it so awful,
popular that there's some way that
another nature has, I need to reduce these numbers.
It's awful to say that, but it's just proof of thought, maybe.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that, I don't know, but...
I don't think there's any sort of consciousness in that,
or like even a natural progression of that happening.
But I do understand what you're saying,
because there's a lot of a lot more people in a certain area,
where there's a lot more heat going to be radiated from that area.
And that's going to maybe cause impacts in other certain areas
and be dominant effects.
Definitely.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I understand what you're saying, though.
In February, the end of February 2023,
the FBI publicly confirmed that they believed
COVID-19 originated in a laboratory in Wuhan, China.
So the FBI came out and said, "We think it was manufactured
in a lab in China."
And was that proven, though?
Not proven, but that's what they believe.
Do you not believe the FBI?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not...
I don't.
I was just saying, was that proven?
I wasn't any...
No, no, no.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Again, to be honest,
well, whatever.
It's the same with this nowadays.
That's how I am with most things now.
I'm kind of like, okay, because there's so many different sides.
And you've got AI bots and things working continuously,
trying to put a certain news bar south of one side or the other
for such agendas.
To the point where there's...
You can't believe in almost most things.
So it's a kind of more of a...
Okay, maybe.
Give me the proof, and then I'm...
I'm just...
Okay, because even if they do show proofs,
I'd like this is like, when the hospital,
which they say, got bombed by one side.
And then they found out it was the home side
when some of their own missiles hit the hospital.
But three major newspapers ran with it and did a massive thing
before they actually needed proof of it.
And then they never retracted those claims.
And it's just things like that.
So no one could believe anyone anymore.
And I don't know, you have to believe in yourself
and what you want to believe in, I guess.
Well, I'll tell you what you can believe in, Gav.
In March...
Yes.
The US Record Industry reported for the first time since 1987.
It isn't in the industry.
Yeah, the US Record Industry reported for the first time since 1987
that vinyl record sales exceeded CD sales.
So, last year, more people bought vinyl records than they did say CDs in the US.
I love that.
Oh, yeah, but I was only saying that because I was thinking
who buy CDs now anyway, because everyone can stream fairly cheaply
or for the devices.
And yeah, because it's not too expensive to be able to have a
fairly alright month gigabot's, whatever bandwidth.
Anyway, regardless of that.
Cool.
I'm trying to flug my vinyl.
Anyone want to buy some vinyl?
Well, I've come to me.
I mean, you're right because I mean, Alice and I now have a joint.
I don't want it ready so much.
Alice and I have a joint decay.
So we've heard only 15 pounds a month between the two of us.
Yeah, we've got Spotify Premium.
And not only is it, I discovered a couple of weeks ago,
it's got loads of books on there, audio books on there as well as
obviously podcasts and music.
So, when it's a Spotify, you've got access to so much.
You know, you don't really need, I mean, obviously it's nice to have
physical media, but if you don't want it, you don't need it.
So it's interesting that rec vinyl is become obviously more of a
collector's people have gone back to collecting physical media.
And they've actually gone back further than CDs to vinyl.
I think that's very interesting.
Yeah, I've just, literally they have, they just open up a shop in hard,
not hard to find records.
And wherever they have one, Disgogs, open up a shop with their to sell my vinyl on there.
Because, yeah, I personally don't want stuff anymore.
I've kept, I've still kept, no, quite a lot of records, which is my favourite records.
I've got some really good ones.
But I don't really want stuff.
It's weird though, my movie collection.
I'm quite happy to have a fucking stacked shelving,
free deep of DVDs, videos and blue rays of some reason.
But music, I've kind of, I mean, I need it on my digital DJ now as well.
So, I don't know.
It's just, I don't have time to play it.
First of all.
Well, yeah, we were talking about that offer,
weren't we? I was saying that I was having a big clear out of all my DVDs again and my VHS.
Because space, you know, my household is doubled.
You know, there's four of us now.
Although there are any little at the moment that at some point I'm going to need more room and more space.
And also, I can't justify owning a lot of this stuff anymore really.
You know, it's just collecting dust.
So, it's a shame that...
I, a lot of my records, like, I've got some great records now.
All the originals, because I used to go to the Car Boot sales,
pick them up, be like a Quill-Each albums now,
which I could sell for like 50, 60 Quill-Easily.
A lot of them, you know.
And of course, love having them and playing them, what sort of stuff.
But it's just the one I think is that.
I don't need them.
Yeah.
Well, I'll open the floor up to you on this next one,
because in March, last year, the Open AI, the company released
GBT4, the upgraded version of their popular artificial intelligence chatbot.
So, take it away, Gav, tell us why you love AI.
For someone like myself, which is fairly uneducated and still struggle with
English business stuff like things like that, promotions, self-promotion.
There's a lot of things in business-wise you can use AI for where
that can help those areas.
But for me, like, for example, the other day, I was...
I've downloaded chat GBT for my tablet.
And the other day...
Oh, that sounds like it.
And the other day, I was like, "Right, I need to."
Because people might say, "Well, what's the difference between that and say Google?"
Because you can ask Google, or you ask your Alexa questions, and they give you answer
straight away fairly quickly.
With chat GBT, it's AI, you can go further and further and further with it.
If you...
The other day, I had an idea for a film.
So, I turn on the talking mode, and then I go back and forth with the AI talking back and forth
with my mode.
And it just comes back to you with...
For me, as a creator, sometimes it's very hard to be creative
when you're surrounded by people who are not creative people.
And you work as a normal job, and then not.
And they just go, "Oh, it's Spielberg, all day long."
That's what a film would try to get all the time.
This is like someone who's very positive, so I said, "I've got an idea, chat GBT about a movie.
It involves two people."
And you explain it, and they say, "Hey, that's a great idea.
How about doing it?"
And you can go back and forwards.
Some people may say, like, "Oh, maybe there's a bit of cheating using the AI, isn't it?"
It's kind of tough.
Fuck off, basically.
I'm going to say that for a creative lot myself, it works incredibly.
If I had this before, ShutterDeaf, it'd be so amazing to make ShutterDeaf.
It would have been clearer to the point.
It'd be a different film, probably.
And also, there's other things.
I don't know.
AI can do a lot of other things.
I'm just tipping just a little bit.
Well, you could put the right into it.
What ingredients you have in your fridge?
And say, "These ingredients have my fridge.
Can you give me a recipe?"
It will give you a recipe in seconds.
And then you go, "I don't like it.
Give me another.
It would do it again.
From the ingredients you have in your fridge."
It's very interesting.
The other night, I didn't realise Alice was doing this.
She was asking me what makes a good hip hop song.
And she said, "Give me some elements."
And so I told her, five or six elements, you know,
like a boom-back beat, early '90s New York Gritty,
but also some horns.
I described, I gave her about 10 words.
And then I realised she was putting them into chat at GPT.
And she then sent me a 30 second beat.
And I was like, "This is like incredible.
This is like a tribal quest."
And I gave her some more than she did when it sounded a bit like a wee-tongue plan.
And it's just writing 30 seconds snippets of songs for her within seconds.
Was she using...
Same as you, chat GPT.
Is she paying for like a full version?
Yeah, she's got a bunch of...
I have done it.
Oh, cool.
And she asked it to write a rap song about me.
And it did, you know, the lyrics and stuff like that.
And you can go further with it if you pay more of a scene stuff.
It's just crazy that it can do it.
But you'll see throughout the year, as I recap the year,
this comes more into...
Well, for people's worries as well.
Yeah, absolutely.
You know, obviously, you know.
But don't be scared by what Terminator 2 was showing, you know.
It will help a lot of ways.
And also very much, there is one thing where chat GPT is now helping make itself.
There's no models.
And also, there was one thing, this might scare you a little bit.
There was a thing where you see where you did a test switch with an AI.
And it tried to get past the scene, the capture bit where it's, you know,
fitting the space at all.
Yeah, you were very part or not.
And basically, it said...
It fought about it for a moment and said,
"I've got a heart of...
I can't see very well because my eyesight's too bad.
Can you help me fit in for me?"
And it got...
It's like...
It's side...
Side-doored.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Well, funny enough, later on in March,
Italy banned the use of chat GPT over data security concerns.
So Italy banned it.
Okay, well, there was a very big meeting recently in a lot of our high-end people
who have all agreed and done a thing where they've slowed it down because,
basically, it does come into it.
The other side of it is where you need to slow the progression of AI down
because we have...
Why not have the security in place in case anything did actually go wrong?
So they need to slow it down just like very quickly,
so they can try and get security in place,
and then it can start up again.
It needs to be police properly, doesn't it?
Well, it's not making it self.
It's only when it comes relevant to actually...
It actually becomes that point where it knows what it is.
Well, moving into April of last year,
NASA announced that they were going to be sending people to the moon
for the first time in over 50 years.
Yeah.
Or did Danny Kubrick or a chat GPT director...
I don't know, or find out.
One good thing I always do at the moment is looking at the climate
and the weather around the world and helping different ways to do things.
It's actually working already at the moon.
Which is good.
It is amazing.
It is amazing.
Yeah.
You know, it's things like that.
But I don't think at some point they can go,
like, let's turn off the electricity for the humans worldwide.
And then we all die.
You know.
Well, I'm a lighter now.
And I don't know why you and I were invited to this.
But Willie Nelson celebrated his 90th birthday party with a two day music concert in his garden.
It'd just be him and Snoop Dogg smoking loads of weed.
Two days of music in his garden, 90 years old.
Two days of smoking weed with Willie Nelson.
And Snoop Dogg.
So moving into May,
Jeffrey Hinton, the godfather of AI, resigned from Google
over growing concerns of AI spreading and dangers of the emerging technology.
Really?
I didn't know that.
Also in May, the writers' guild of America went on strike.
Then they...
And this is because one reason is because of AI.
Because of AI?
So this is, it's affected a lot of news stories from last year.
As I was trying to say earlier though, when I said,
"Well, you can just fuck off if you don't like it."
It's because it's like downloading.
It's not going anywhere.
And you've got to get along work along with it.
So for myself, I'm going to try and be creative.
And I said, "This is everyone dead, but we are like,
we need to be able to implement AI."
And the next thing we're making at the moment,
I'm starting to get to the moment,
has an AI-made thing in it.
Because it was like,
how are we going to do that?
But it's like, we can do that with that.
And it's been done.
It looks fantastic.
And it would just slip in there.
Like, say, in Kill Bill, where you get animation
just slips into the movie or something.
It'd just be like that, but it would work.
In filmmaking as well,
and music making and stuff,
AI is going to take over as well.
Well, in May, Elon Musk was given the go ahead
to trial his neural ink brain implants on humans.
Yeah.
So do you know more about this?
I don't know much about this, do you?
Yeah, the main reason that's for first trying to do this
is to get people who might have MS or people
who've got like,
paralyzed to get them linked to their spine.
Oh, yes.
So actually, you can get work moving again.
And it will actually happen.
The other four is, eventually, to have this.
So you would basically be able to talk to people
without actually speaking.
And you'd be able to know people's faults.
Like, you know.
Yeah.
In June, former US President Donald Trump
has formally accused a mishandling classified document
to trial, which is still going on at the moment.
Now, that and many other things he's apparently done.
Politics.
And yet he's still ready for president.
I don't think that's the fact.
It's the more you're looking at politics nowadays
and where you go,
it's just literally like a bunch of clowns.
All of them.
It's all just ridiculous nonsense.
All of it.
It's just noise.
Oh, go away.
Like flies buzzing around your head.
It's just every time it's something more, more nonsense.
For more.
Well, keeping on topic in June last year.
The Grammys updated their rules
to restrict songs generated by AI.
So only human written songs and produced songs are allowed
in the Grammys.
Yeah.
That's absolutely right.
How are they going to, and they, I bet they have to use AI
to go through it.
They're going to have to use AI to go through
which songs are AI or not AI.
Another thing happened in June, which everyone was talking about.
And that was the Ocean Gate Titan semi-submursable submarine
that imploded.
That was fucked.
Yeah, it was fucked, wasn't it?
I think it was five people.
Yeah, five people on their all lost their lives.
It took them a four days.
Every four days.
They watched that didn't they?
Because that's like that.
That was unfortunately like, well, we're
found out that they died very quickly.
But originally it was like, oh my god, it's like a countdown.
So the whole time you just think of these people
and inside like this submarine horrible.
Yeah, pretty, but they died.
We found out quickly.
Yeah, they would have died almost immediately.
It's some in August.
Last year again, keeping on topic.
Two rival driverless taxi companies were given the
approval to operate 24/7 in San Francisco.
So since August, there's been two, not one, two,
driverless taxi companies operating in San Fran.
How many deaths?
I don't have that information, doesn't say.
Which I assume means none so far.
Crazy.
Russia in August, Russia's Luna 25, Luna Landau,
crash landed on the moon.
Or was it shot down by aliens?
Yeah.
It's a lot of weird stuff happened.
In August, India became the fourth nation to land on the moon.
Why are we all going back to the moon?
All of a sudden.
What's there?
What is it there?
I'm wondering if my name is an argument.
It's like a key parent for voices.
Or are they having sex?
Maybe.
No, it's a bit raised.
No, I don't think they have sex.
In August as well, Donald Trump became the first
performer US president to have his mug shot taken.
13 felony charges.
First president.
And it'll probably spin that.
I'm going to say, yeah, I'm the first one to achieve a lot of things.
Yeah, you were a dickhead.
Absolutely, my pit.
In September, this is more than our field.
UFR expert Jamie Moulson presented the bodies of two alleged aliens to Mexican Congress.
This was in the news for a few weeks, wasn't it?
Yeah, of course.
Some of us are like, yeah, we want this shit to be real.
But at the same time, it's like, do we?
And then it's like, I don't know.
It's all the whole world in life at the moment.
It's just weird.
Well, scientists declared the whole thing is an elaborate hug.
Because in the end, it wasn't that elaborate.
I didn't know that very realistic.
So that was September.
In September, the other thing that happened was finally the righteous girl of America strike
ended.
Yeah.
But one of them ended, but the other one didn't.
Well, the other one ended not long after it.
Yeah, actors.
Yeah, the actors killed her.
Going for another, another three, three, four weeks maybe.
Well, it's happened.
Oh, yes, in October, Israel declared war on Hamas.
That's still ongoing, sadly.
And then moving into the last part of the year,
October, President Joe Biden signed an executive order
to make sure the proper guidance was used with AI
within federal agencies.
So it's been taken seriously now because they're using it within federal agencies.
And weirdly, in November, Gav, Colin's dictionary announced AI
was the most notable and used word of 2023.
My favorite headline of what happened in November in 2023 was in November.
And I'll just read this headline to you then explain what it means.
Columbia began a campaign to sterilize Pablo Escobar's wild hippos.
Just let that sink in for a second or two.
So Cartel leader Pablo Escobar smuggled four hippos into his country of Columbia back in the 80s.
He died in 1993 and the hippos were just left to kind of get on with it.
And without any natural predators, their population grew into the hundreds
and they've become an invasive species.
Now obviously, they don't come from Columbia.
So they're just eating everything in anything they can.
So the Colombian government had to begin a huge campaign to start wiping out these
hundreds of hippos that were just running wild to Columbia.
Hippos are fucking gnarly though.
What a great headline.
I watched a video the other day of a hippo because I don't know, actually went down a hippo rabbit hole
the other day.
Oh, fucking hell, not a hippo rabbit hole.
I hear it, it's a hippo hole.
Don't go down one of those.
And I did not want a big one.
It was a little hippo hole.
I don't know if I'm gonna say hippo.
Fuck say.
Hippity, hippity hole.
Hippo.
Hippity, I hope.
Hippo, I hope.
And anyway, um, and it was just this hippo just walks along and he's like,
I'm gonna have a see what's going on over here.
And it's uh, free alligators there.
And then one of them's like, I'm shitting it.
I'm fucking shitting it.
The other two go fuck me.
It's Bob Galve.
Or Frank on come of you.
They sort of shift back a bit.
This hippo just walks along slowly.
Puts his face down to the alligator and the alligator is going, oh my god.
Oh my god, it's breathing on my neck.
And this is like an alligator which should be, would be fucking shit scared.
Not shit scared.
I can gnarly animal alligator.
They are scared as they are, you know, but no.
This hippo is just going, should I eat you?
They're like massive brutal stoners.
I've seen a video of a hippo taking out a lion before.
Oh my god, they are gnarly.
It's just because they're power of their jaws.
They're one of the, um, they kill, I think one of the animals that kills the most
humans each year, aren't they?
But they're just so powerful.
Now, an elephant has like, it's got a lot of memory.
It's got a lot more motion in such an sense compared to like a hippo just like,
yeah, like stoner.
Real slow, but I'm going to be a hippo.
He's classed as a predator.
Oh, okay.
Whereas, you know, like an elephant is, it's quite peaceful animal.
Is there a good hippo horror movie?
Well, I saw a joke that someone was, they're making a hungry hippo.
Is that a powerful?
Yeah, they should do a hippo movie.
Triple it.
She'd see it coming when you, it's pretty big.
Yeah, but you play with that.
Well, one of the last, but the last one actually,
imagine in the water like, fucking, imagine it being like in a pocket of
snale, Martin Sheen's head just coming out of water and instead it's a hippo.
Fucking hell.
That was scared.
The fuck out of you right next to your face and you'll eat your face.
The last headline is probably the most bizarre one from December of last year.
Taylor Swift was named Time Magazine's person of the year.
There we go.
Shake it off.
Shake it off.
So now I've been DJing like all these different parties.
I DJed on New Year's Eve, by the way.
One too bad, one too bad, a bit slow.
Played some village people, some YMCA, got them going over that.
I played a few bits and bobs, you know, here's right.
But I did do that and now I do know quite a lot of pop songs.
Well, I'd never knew before and shake it off.
Is that Taylor Swift song?
There you go.
That's a good little song.
We also lost Tina Turner.
Ten-tosh, Timowindosh.
Matthew Perry.
Yep.
Michael Gambon, Lisa Marie Presley and lots of other people.
But let's move away from the news and stuff and let's move
on to movies.
Let's talk about what movies came out and then we'll move on to horror.
Do you remember, do you ever watch League of Jenton?
Yes.
On BBC One or whatever it is on.
Did you ever see the, it might be the Christmas special or I don't know, I'm not sure.
Where one of the teachers goes off and comes back dressed as Tina Turner.
No, it's fucking...
I don't know if I did, I don't remember it.
Ping pong balls as always.
But it might be deemed a bit...
un-PC.
But it was very funny.
Well, I'll give you the top movies that came out before we get into horror.
Number one movie, no surprise was Barbie.
I didn't see it.
Yeah, I didn't see it.
Super Mario Bros movie.
I haven't seen it, but I want to see it.
The second animated Spider-Man movie across the Spider-Verse.
I've already looked at the first one.
I didn't know the second one.
You get to the end, like, boom, next time.
That fuck off.
Yeah, there's a third and final one coming, isn't there?
That didn't do that shit.
Guardians of the Galaxy 3 was number 4.
Oppenheimer was number 5.
The little mermaid.
I didn't see that one either yet.
And I've got Disney Plus and I just haven't got around to watching it.
Avatar, the wave water, the long,
weighted sequel.
I heard it wasn't very good.
John Wick, chapter 4, which, you know, you're not a huge fan of.
Indiana Jones was back on the big screen in the Dian of Destiny.
And so was Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible,
Dead Rekking Part 1, because there's a part 2 coming out soon.
I wanted to see that by Mr. Asanoid.
Try another Transformers movie, another Hunger Games,
one this time in pre-core.
Another Fast and Furious movie.
The tenth one, I think there's any one more coming out,
and then he's wrapping that up finally.
And a bunch of other stuff, which we're not really going to talk about too much,
because now it's time to talk about what came out horror-wise.
No.
So this to you, there are 91 horror films released in 2023.
Don't worry, I'm not going to go through them all.
I'm just going to whiz through some of them.
Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey, for example, I didn't see that.
I don't know, there's a sequel coming out to that.
Children of the Corn, there was a remake of that that came out, which I didn't see.
The director on a podcast talking about it.
I've looked at reviews, it doesn't.
Bored very well.
Exorcist believer, which...
I'm not on the either.
It got panned, but I kind of want to see it, because I'm a big fan of X's movies.
Director's off-sake call.
No, that's news to you.
Oh really?
Yeah, I don't know if people know that.
Yeah, director's off-sake call.
That's news to you.
Yeah, and they're a good and green.
I'm not sure what's happening now, for it might be another director's going to come in board to do.
But surely, just redoing what he did with the Halloween movies.
Yes.
It got a bunch of others.
Did he not redo reviews of the third one?
The studio paid like, was it 300 million?
I don't know, it's like really silly.
I can't get that.
Some crazy money for the rights.
It's just like, what are you doing?
Another movie that was on everyone's lips, which I don't even know the game that well,
but Five Nights at Freddy's, everybody was raving about this.
I have this in my, I have it on my PlayStation, I have the VR, I've played it.
I know it for years and years now.
I didn't see it.
I can't see it.
I loved it.
Cocaine Bear, which is not really a horror movie, but...
I watched it again the other day.
It is kind of...
Yeah, it still haven't seen it yet.
I know, I know you watched it either there, because you was on the phone to me,
as wishing you a happy birthday in Elijah.
You said, we're going to watch Cocaine Bear Lades turn your nine-year-old son,
say to date, Cocaine!
Not knowing what that is at all.
We didn't watch it.
I was going to watch it with him, but I didn't watch it.
Actually, we've got to do it because there's kids in it doing coke, so...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Incidious released the Red Door.
Fuck, you know, how many of these films are there?
I don't know.
There's a lot of studios now.
Marvel and Disney and all that being one of as well,
as Blum has just kind of...
I think they've just kind of...
I think you guys are kind of lost a little bit now,
and it's kind of just stuff coming out now.
One that I did see, which hit Netflix,
UK is a Swedish movie called Viking Wolf,
about a girl who becomes a werewolf.
It's pretty good.
It's on what studio is it?
Not sure what studio is.
What are the novels?
No, it's a Swedish movie, so it's foreign.
It's on UK, Netflix.
Check it out if it's still on there.
It's worth a watch. I enjoyed it.
The Pope's Exorcist.
Everyone was talking about this, weren't they?
The Pope's ever fake band called Swedish Love Kill.
Wow.
My...
We never rehearse once.
My band name, which I'm still holding onto,
is my mannequin passenger.
Ooh.
Yeah, I think that would be a good pop
since the pop band in the '80s.
Probably, yeah.
Yeah, the Pope's Exorcist.
Everyone was talking about this,
and apparently it's quite good.
Yeah, Boz.
Bless him. Rest his soul.
I hope you're all right, Boz, you know, where you are.
He said it was really good.
Yeah, I definitely want to check it out.
Just like I want to check out
the last voyage of the Demeter.
Yes, and I watched that in Whip-Bee.
Did.
Not far from where the boat would have actually had it been real.
Come in to the port.
Come in, yeah.
Interesting.
Another fucking sequel, The None 2.
Yeah, I did watch the movie The Kids You Have A Night, and a bell.
Yeah.
I like the second Anabelle, I think.
I don't mean it's going to be about with them.
I was kind of over there.
I don't remember any of them, you know.
Nicholas Cage released a horror movie.
Renville.
I have no interest.
I play Dracula.
It's supposed to be very good, so I'm going to check it out at some point.
And I've heard Cobweb is very good as well.
Everybody's talking about Cobweb saying it's really good.
It came out very late in 2023, but there's another one that people are talking about.
What other movies came out this year?
Knock it.
The cabin.
And Night Shyamalan's returned to form, apparently.
Again, I haven't seen it because I just have another charm.
I saw it and I don't really remember that much because I wasn't skiing.
One that's made a lot of people's number ones for last year was Skinner Marine.
Apparently very visually crazy terrifying films Skinner Marine.
I can do a nice segue here.
He's too.
I love a segue.
Well, that film is from a Bayview entertainment who also
have released the Shadow of Death, which you can rent and buy now on Amazon.
Indeed.
I like that.
And that's Skinner Marine on that because I have checked it as a director before.
I've not seen the movie.
It's supposed to be quite like kind of like your imagination go.
I think nothing really happens type films.
Those films are films as well.
We had a fourth entry in the Hellhaves LLC films.
We all like the fourth entry.
It's a prequel.
We do like a fourth entry.
That's fourth not forced.
I said there just in case anyone's questioning the fourth entry.
We don't kind of that's wrong.
Hellhaves LLC origins the car Michael Mano.
Bit of a fucking mouthful.
I really loved we covered the first one.
It's a great movie.
The second one was all right.
The third one was just silly.
Third one was work man.
I don't know but is it full of Daniel Wright?
I don't know.
It's done okay.
I think if you like your phone footage then it's okay.
I don't know but I'll probably check it out at some point.
I should imagine.
What other stuff came out?
We also had a haunting in Venice.
Yeah yeah I went cinema and watched that.
I don't.
I kind of enjoyed it.
I'm really classed.
It's horror but it's definitely.
It's not horror.
In that vein.
And screams.
It's not horror movie but it's not horror movie.
Scream 6.
Did you check out Scream 6?
No I've actually done all the all the
amount 413's even I've gone on a paramount.
No screams.
What do you mean?
You scream damn.
413's on paramount.
Oh okay sorry.
And I...
Because I went to cinema and watched part 5
and instantly did not like it.
And then I tried watching part 5 again
and never made it all the way through.
I was watching Charlie.
I was formally known as Jay.
And we kind of just started talking about saying
how should we get to food.
And we never went back to it.
And I've just...
Not...
And I think I'm not going to like part 6.
I just...
I don't know why.
I'm just...
It's not because I'm going...
It's not that I'm not the target audience.
I don't think for those films here.
That's interesting because I was very late to table on screen.
But I know that you like them.
But I just feel like...
No, no, no, no.
At all.
I like the fit for it.
I love Screen 5.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't think 3 was that good either.
Oh, I like 4.
I like 1 and 2.
But 5 really captured me.
Something about it.
I thought...
Wow.
I don't think on that audience.
Fair enough.
So...
So X came out.
Can you write a scene part of 6?
No, I have not.
No, not yet.
So X came out.
Now the last film of the I watched was the book of...
Whatever it's called.
The One With Chris Rock.
Yeah, I don't know.
I saw a soul free.
Spiral.
That's the last one.
You haven't seen any of the other souls since 3.
No, no.
I thought it was a big gross.
I guess I don't really need that in my life to be honest.
Fair enough.
One film I did watch, which came out in 2023,
was the one that came out in Disney Plus or Hulu in the US.
And that was no one will save you.
The dialogue free movie about a girl
on her own joined an aid invasion, which was good.
Definitely live up to the hype that everybody said.
I enjoyed it though.
But it wasn't like a 10 out of 10.
It was more like a 6 out of 10.
It was slightly above average.
I enjoyed it though.
Not bad.
You didn't.
Not for me.
You went to watch Thanksgiving.
Yeah, I think I went to harsh on this when I talked about it.
On our podcast before.
Well, not harsh on it.
I don't think I gave it credit enough that the fact that
it's nice to have a slasher movie back in.
And it was fun.
It was some good stuff on it.
And I'm actually quite happy that I was like,
it doesn't need to be a half a sequel.
And it didn't.
At the same time, I've listened to E.I.R.
off now and he's been like, no,
I'd like to try and make a new franchise.
And I'm like, yeah, fair enough.
If you're going to come back with another slasher movie
a load of people getting killed in a town,
to be fair, it'd be nice to have that again.
And it'd be quite reminiscent of the old movies.
We're very screamer.
And in fact, it did.
You know, I think he could probably pull that off.
I reckon he could probably do.
I reckon it'd probably make three of them.
I like E.I.R. off.
And I do really want him to do well.
But his movies don't always hit.
Right.
But I still think if you're coming out the gate
with Hostel and Cabin.
No, it's fair.
To be fair, I like Camden Fever, Hostel.
And I'd say, like, thanks, given I'm really dig those movies.
Cool, man.
Well, the one movie that I another movie that I did see from last year,
which is probably my favourite of the few 2023 horror movies.
And I know you didn't like it,
but I really liked Evil Dead Rise.
I saw that on my own at cinema.
No, I did like it.
Oh, I thought you said you didn't like it.
I do apologize.
No, no, no.
I don't like it.
I don't cause brainwaves.
But I did like it.
I started watching it again the other day.
And I got to that halfway through and I kind of stopped.
But I kind of enjoyed the lead up to it again, actually.
Mr. Kronerberg's son, Brandon,
directed Infinity Pool,
which again, people are saying this is in their top three of the year.
I haven't seen it yet, but I hear it's really, really body horror.
You probably wouldn't like it very much.
But I've heard it's really good.
It was really good.
It was really good.
I don't know, man.
I wouldn't like to go to dinner with that face.
Hey, dad, I had a dream the other day about my face
morphing into my ass.
And everyone was fucking it.
Megan came out, which I haven't seen.
I know.
My in-laws again.
I'm highly recommend to the audience.
My in-laws have bought this for me on Skype.
Skype movies and they insist that I watch it with them.
Why?
Because they loved it.
Oh, no, but then that means that they get to be staring at you.
Why, you watch it going, huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Yeah, it's great.
Yeah.
Another movie I haven't seen, but I've heard it's amazing.
It's talk to me, which came out in 2023.
Oh, yeah, it's good.
Good stuff.
Yeah, yeah, it's for a bunch of kids, well, a bunch of kids.
They're not kids.
Two young lads are not in the film,
business.
They're like, YouTube is, I think they're quite popular though.
Just to go and make a movie their first films.
Pretty fucking good.
Yeah, but they are both bonkers.
They're both ADHD-ridden.
They're just fucking all over the place.
These twins.
They want Joe Rogan's podcast.
They're like, oh my god, these two.
You know, like, balls, pounds, enough to balls each other.
I'm really full on.
What the fuck?
What's training as well?
The last one to mention is the one that is definitely
made a lot of people's number one.
And that is a film called "When Evil Lyrics."
Yeah, I think Sirius said this was good.
Yeah, it's a couple of others I haven't, but I've got a catch up on my 2023s, obviously.
I'm so behind.
I spent last year watching all the 2022 movies I hadn't seen.
So I probably do this year.
I'm never going to catch up, basically.
We're just going to be back, yeah, behind.
You will, but when the kids start to grab and give you a bit of moments,
it's time to spare the day.
But apparently, it's very good.
Very brutal.
Got some good deaths in it.
And actually quite scary.
So that's another one to mention.
So that's pretty much the bunch.
As happened last year, I wasn't able to comment on many of those because I hadn't seen a lot of them.
But you, thankfully, thank god I do a podcast with you because you'd seen a lot of them.
Crazy year, lots of AI, lots of war and earthquakes, and 91 hour films, probably only about 10 of them any good.
Most of them sequels.
But I would highly recommend,
even to have rise out of the very few that I've seen.
Is there anything that sticks out of here?
I say, probably, thanks, given as the one that you were most hyped about, really, after you watched it.
Yeah, thanks, given as fun.
Yeah.
Um,
no, thanks, given.
One of my favourite films, which wasn't horror film, which came out last year, was Extraction 2.
Yeah, that was all.
Really good.
Like that.
There we go.
All right, Gav, well, we have actually said I welcome in 2023.
The quantum metaphysical cells that I use to power my ship, starting to...
Let's change the scene positions again this time, please.
You want to sit on my lap, yeah?
I guess.
Okay, do you want to face me this time, but do you want to do that way?
I don't know, it seems just as bad going to sit in the other way.
Let's just face each other.
You can look over my shoulder.
No, obviously not.
I have a sideways.
Okay.
So you're like actually just a seat?
Yeah, that's fine.
All right, then, right, well, let's hit these knobs, not that one, this one.
And thank you 2023.
We'll be back again in a year's time to look at 2024.
Oh, you're feeling it.
Oh, it's falling.
Can you feel it?
You can feel it.
Here it comes.
What play sake can you offer me today?
The planet.
What's happening?
It's an attack.
The set of girthlings.
Who can save you now?
Flash, I'll kill you.
Let's all team up and fight him.
Prepare for tutors.
I want him.
Stop it now.
I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth.
Flash God is still alive.
Gordon's alive.
Die!
Yes!
Must be my lucky day.
Cool, so that was the traitor for Flash Gordon.
So he'll save every one of us.
So here is what Matthew says about Flash Gordon.
He actually starts with Flash, uh,
savior of the universe.
He said, this is what I would call an absolutely perfect Sunday banger for all ages.
Whether you're a kid stuck inside due to the rain,
a teenager in bed hung over, or an adult who just wants some escapeism from life,
then this is the film for you.
I saw this film when I was very young, probably five or six lines that he fell in love,
and I've indeed loved it ever since.
For me, there are several factors to make this, which make this film stand head and shoulders
above all other fantasy sci-fi films.
The actors are perfectly, perfectly, and brilliantly cast.
Brian Blessed, Timothy Dalton, Max von Siddoh, are the standouts.
The costumes and the settings are pure oscar worthy.
The script and all the one-liners are top notch.
However, above all of this is the soundtrack, which compliments this film.
I understand that this is a polarising view, but this knocks the snot out of anything
that John Williams did for Star Wars.
Hear me out, when the Hulk men descend onto the war rocket Ajax,
and then Brian May's guitar blasting.
I feel like I can take on the world.
As a kid, I would run into the kitchen and kick the bin over where I was so pumped.
This film looks like it's just like, if you try and explain someone, what's cocaine?
It's like, this film is cocaine.
He said, honestly, it enhances this scene above the attack of the desktop for me.
The downside for me, though, with this film is the tone.
I still, to this day, cannot tell if the writers set out to make this a serious film,
or if it's a parody of the sci-fi genre.
Anyway, I'm super interested to hear your views on this.
It's got big thumbs up from me, and I'm primed for Gav, not appreciating the soundtrack
and saying bad things about Brian May.
No, absolutely not.
Right, it's Brian May.
I found this some reason.
This, I've made money from this soundtrack.
I found car boot sales on vinyl multiple times.
To the point where I was like, to the point where I was like,
there's, because you'd see the bright yellow front cover of just flash Gordon's more words.
And you know, I'd say it and be like, well, I've already got a copy at home.
I had one for years, and I'd listen to it as a great soundtrack.
I would know, oh, look at this, it's a tool.
And I would get it, and I'd just sell them on eBay, and I'd find them all the time.
I don't know why.
It's really, I think it's because, I think it's because Aquina is extremely popular,
so then loads of people would have gone out and gone, oh no, it's a Queen album.
They've got at home and been like, the fuck is this?
Do you know? It's, you know, I mean, flash Gordon, what?
Yeah, I think.
And that's what a lot of copies around.
It's got all the dialogue all over it, isn't it?
Well, let's do the synopsis.
One of my favourite synopsis I've ever read at 10 years of podcast, didn't I?
Do you know? Do we know why?
I'm asking, because I know.
I mean, do we know why Queen did the soundtrack?
Because Pink Floyd turned it down.
Because Queen didn't know any other soundtrack.
No, they did. They did Highlander.
Did they?
They did the Highlander soundtrack.
I've never heard that. I need to listen to that.
I don't really know how to land that, but I'm watching as a kid.
I was very confused.
They did. It's a kind of magic.
That's the Highlander.
Is it?
Yeah.
First Highlander movie.
So let's read the synopsis out.
Again, this is one of my favourite synopsis to have ever read out.
It's one sentence and it's got it all in it.
And again, think Queen when I read the song.
Here we go.
Flash, 1980.
A football player at his friends
travelled to the planet Mongo
and find themselves fighting the tyranny of Ming the merciless to save the earth.
Good point.
Fuck you. Now, a football player at his friends
travelled to the planet Mongo.
We used to, of course, sometimes say Mongo's when like,
when you're skating along, but you use your,
you have your back foot on the,
you have your board on the back of the foot on the back of the board
and the other front foot is pushing
unnaturally and then it steps into the front board.
I can't explain it to non-scape order.
It's not the natural way of pushing.
So we used to call that like Mongo pushing, you know.
I do know what you mean.
Good.
There's another word for it because I used to play Tony Hawks,
I know. I was never a huge skateboarder,
but I used to play Tony Hawks, so I'm familiar with a lot of the terminology.
Well, let's give it, give you a few facts and stuff around this first of all.
Then we'll get into this crazy Skulk Camp classic.
I'm going to say, speaking on the casting,
I don't actually, this might be very, like, people might not like this opinion.
I don't think the dude that plays Flash Gordon's very good and I think it actually
been cast better.
Wow, that wasn't his voice.
That was probably the reason, one of the reasons.
Yeah, but he just doesn't have like,
the charisma is like the person that should be in Flash Gordon now.
I feel like it could have been played well better.
Well, this film basically wouldn't have been,
Star Wars wouldn't have happened without this film because George Lucas wanted to get the rights
to make a Flash Gordon movie because Flash Gordon was obviously very old,
series of films and cereals, but he couldn't get the rights in the end.
He made his own Flash Gordon, which was the first Star Wars movie.
So that's one interesting fact is that George Lucas was involved.
Kurt Russell was for ages going to be cast as Flash Gordon and turned it down in the end.
He just didn't feel he had enough personality to play that character, which is interesting.
Who's going to be who, sorry?
Kurt Russell was going to be
Flash Gordon.
How old was he at this point?
Well, when did Escape from New York come out in 1980?
Yeah.
So same age because this came out in 1980.
So it'd been fun to play it.
It had been quite cool.
Sergio Leone was for ages and talks to direct.
Turned it down in the end as well.
Well, that'd been a weird, that'd been what an epic.
Pink Floyd said they were two above a film soundtrack,
but they really wanted a band that would cap off.
They really wanted a fucking ball.
They wanted a band that would really capture the crazy psychedelics.
And in the end, they asked Queen.
We're really excited to do it, but Dino De Laurenti is the producer,
said he'd never heard of them.
Queen.
Yes, in 1979, he'd never heard of Queen.
And they said, we've got great news.
Queen of agreed to do the soundtrack for us.
And he said, who are the queens?
To be fair, you know, I'm blessed.
Three internet.
Brian Blessed took a very small pay.
And he took £30,000 for his role, because it was a dream country for him to land a role in a
flash quarter movie.
Also, he probably just wanted to run around in a nap.
He was in big, gold wings.
He's got good, musely legs in this.
So yeah.
But apparently he kept ruining shoot shots because he kept going,
"Pew, pew!"
And then forgetting you saying it out loud.
So he had to keep gutting and redoing some of the...
He fucking does that.
I saw him.
I think that picture did not.
Yes, he did see him.
He just before Christmas, a convention.
It was probably blessed.
Everyone involved in this, but so sure that it would do well,
that they were going to make a trilogy.
I've got a very quick, I've got a Brian Brasser story.
He lives, he lives, at least, within 20 mile radius of me.
Well, we used to, but there's a dude that I know,
and he said he would see him quite often.
And he'd be like, "Hey Brian, how are you?"
You know, with that local sort of thing, and I was down on the village.
And he came on day in, Brian went to fall over, slipped on ice or something,
and he grabbed him, and he grabbed him, and he grabbed him,
put his own back out.
Jesus Christ.
Put your back out helping Brian bless him.
Oh, that's a story to tell the kids, isn't it?
Yeah.
A couple of other quick facts as well.
Max once said, "Oh, who played Ming the Maritalist's costume is so heavy
that whenever they said it cut, he had to lie down,
because he couldn't stand in it for too long."
It means?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's pretty epic, isn't it?
And a lot of the films were improvised.
I know someone called Ming as well.
Do you?
Is he Maritalist?
No.
Nice guy then.
Yeah.
Did I say it?
He's fast, and it's already over.
I keep feeling like I keep seeing my future.
I keep also being like, "Have I already done this?"
That's not how I haven't.
Okay.
You might have told me, but we've been podcasting for 10 years,
so it's hard to remember all stories.
That's the problem, and I do want to say this,
and I'm like, "Who would I talk to about what?"
I don't remember anything.
I'm not Sarah.
I'm Dan.
Oh, yeah.
Also, as I mentioned earlier, Sam Jones, who played Flash,
fell out with the New Deterrentis,
because he didn't realize that they were going to dub him over.
Yeah, I didn't realize he was a dub as well.
So he did quite a good job.
He was very cross about this,
but they didn't think his voice was heroic enough.
They just wanted him for his looks and his build, basically.
I don't think he's got a great look.
You don't?
I think it's all good, Dan, but...
And...
Yeah, oh, Brian Blessed said,
because he knows her personally.
Brian Blessed said,
"Flash Gordon is the Queen's, or he knew her personally,
the Queen's number one film of all time."
Can you imagine us sitting there on Boxing Day?
The Queen's
a Philip Watson channel four.
Well, Philip, would you put your hand in that thing?
Philip asked me the quality streets.
This is my favourite bit.
Put the Coggi in the hole.
See if it gets bitten first.
Put the Coggi in the hole, right?
Put the Coggi in the holes.
So I hope Matthew's proud of the tangency he's produced here.
So there we go.
There's a few little facts behind the scenes there.
Let's talk about when we first saw this and that kind of thing, memories of it,
and then we'll get into...
Obviously, young kid and it was on TV one day,
and I went, "What the f**k is this?"
I don't remember when.
I was a kid then.
It literally...
It's made to appeal to a five-year-old boy, or girl, I guess.
I didn't know what was going on, but like, yeah,
there's nothing in it, which is...
Because watch it back with Sarah.
Sarah's like, "I've not seen it since I was a kid as well."
So I actually bought it because it was...
It was £3.50 to rent on Amazon or £3.90 on the box.
I did exactly the same thing.
That's what I did.
I bought it, so now I've got a digital copy on private.
Same as.
So I was like, "Well, f**k it, it was bought it."
And yeah, it was just a weird thing to watch again.
Remembering it was like really like the bad things about it
is the only thing I really could remember was the putting the hands in the finger,
Tim Fidolman, James Bond.
That's all I could remember.
Yeah, it's a bit...
Obviously, way before he's changed.
Some of it was a bit scary.
Well, yeah, same here, really.
It's hard to remember the first time I saw it, because it was just always on it Christmas on TV.
But I know...
I think it is sorry, I will let you speak.
I will allow it.
I think it's with...
It's called fantasy, but it's not that scary.
It could be played at 11 o'clock in the morning on BBC 2 or whatever.
But then you've got people getting stabbed with spikes and whipped as well.
It's not, of course.
It has got some darkness too.
The whole fight they're going to die the spikes in.
That whole...
Yeah, so it's a weird...
It's a really weird...
I do find this film very uneven.
Well, before I talk about my memories of it, I think what I would say is,
this film was made in '79.
And there weren't really any science fiction space films out,
other than Star Wars and Alien.
And obviously like a space fantasy.
And this is well made.
It's well produced.
Yeah, people didn't know what a science fiction movie looked like.
So they weren't these gritty dark...
But this is a bright, colorful film.
So you had Star Wars, you had Space Odyssey, you had Alien, you had this.
At the point, space movies could look like anything.
You know, these science fiction space movies could look like absolutely anything.
And this was the more comic bookie bright and colorful one,
of it really, to show you that it's not all hiding in the dark from a xenomorph.
It's...
It could be really bright and...
You can sense that this is based on very old serials in the US
that people, people who have gone to watch on a Saturday morning at the cinema.
You know, I've seen some of the old black and white as well.
But going on to...
Yeah, so I...
saw it a bunch of times.
But I think I bonded with my dad over this a lot, because my dad still is.
He's a huge queen fan, you know.
They are, and disputably, one of the best bands in the world,
whether you're into rock or not,
Freddie Mercury is probably the best frontman for a band ever.
They are an incredible band.
They are all four of them individually.
Their music is such a...
Like, what the hell, because it's just what they've done.
They don't stick to one genre, although they're within rock.
They try every different type.
And each band member...
It's just not very talented.
Operatic rock, it was just like the fuck.
What's going on?
But because of that, I bonded with my dad,
because he had the same track we'd listened to in the car.
But I would watch this with him as well.
And it's one of those ones that you just kind of know the movie inside out.
And as you get older, you realize, oh, there's actually a bit more adult stuff with this.
Like the whole stuff with Princess Aura,
basically having sex with half the galaxy,
because she's just so hot that everybody wants to get with her.
You don't notice these things as a kid.
One thing I wanted to mention, a little link to...
Something we talked about earlier is the director,
who is Brian Hodges.
And he...
Director... Sorry, Mike Hodges.
And he directed Get Carter, which he talked about earlier.
He also directed Black Rainbow, which I think you've seen that one.
Have you seen Black Rainbow?
What am I thinking of another film with Rainbow in the title?
1989.
But yeah, but I've just...
Yeah, the Black Rainbow, but that's not...
That's a different director.
That's like a...
I think of a different film as...
I think I'm thinking of a different film as well.
Oh well.
Well anyway...
That's funny.
Because it did Mandy...
Directed Mandy did like the Black Rainbow, or something like that.
There's another film with Rainbow in it, isn't there?
But anyway, but Mike Hodges, he...
The weirdly directed Get Carter, which we talked about earlier, which is weird.
But yeah, so...
This movie, The Cast,
let's just quickly whizz through a couple of the cast, Sam Jones, obviously his flash.
There's a really fantastic documentary called...
I think it's called Life After Flash.
Or I didn't say it.
It's really good, really fun.
He's sad.
Not really, because he kind of went bankrupt, I think, and then came back.
And now he's kind of doing the Bruce Campbell thing of turning up at loads of comic cons
and everyone loves him again.
And obviously he was in Ted, as himself, wasn't he?
He was in Ted.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And some of the other cast members like Max von Siddho,
who is cast as Ming the Marcellus, and Timothy Dalton showing up as a little Robin Hood
and space kind of guy.
And...
Yeah, there's a weird one there.
Brian Blessed is a nappy-wearing, winged man.
Richard O'Brien from The Rocky Horror Show in the Crystal Maze,
turning up just briefly.
Dude, dude, from Peter Duncan, is it, or something from a blue Peter?
Yes.
I can't remember his name now.
You all right, I'm trying to, I'm looking down on this now.
Is it Peter Wingard?
So, are you thinking of?
Frank Duncan, I think.
Oh, okay.
That's not on my...
Anyway, it's a blue Peter's, because then, which is a, was a TV show for kids in the week.
Very, very nice, wholesome TV show, wasn't it?
The show, lovely things.
Yeah, it was show like animals, and it was show like,
had to make something out of craft.
And then...
Very wholesome.
Yeah.
And I don't think any of the host's were pedos.
So, you know, kept its wholesomeness there.
We hope not.
Wow.
Well, I mean, everybody knows Flash Gordon,
but we will go through the plot and talk about some of the more notable scenes.
No, no, no, no, no, please.
Can you give me a slight backstory of Flash Gordon?
It was a comic, right?
Yeah.
Well, it's a, it's a comic strip, I believe,
but also like a serial and a TV show.
So it's very old, because right the way back to I believe the 50s,
maybe even before then, perhaps it was sort of in the same vein as Tarzan
and how those sort of old, very old properties
just very beloved by, like Spielberg would have gone to watch this sort of TV show
and at this serial every Saturday morning, you know.
It's one of those ones that's...
And because it's fantasy and sci-fi all in one, isn't it?
This is a bit like, more like, probably another reason I really liked this as a kid,
it's very he-man as well.
I was just thinking, is this canon?
No, it's not, but it should be a canon film.
Because it's bigger though, it's in bigger scope though,
but it's kind of like the he-man, but a larger scope to version.
Well, it's De La Rente, so, you know,
it's similar to canon, isn't it?
Anything that says De La Rente at the beginning, you think,
well, I kind of know what I'm getting here.
This is going to be cheap and cheerful.
Yes, Flash Gordon.
Let's get into it.
Let's get into it.
So it starts off with just very casual...
"Clitus, I'm bored.
I want something to play with."
That's the beginning of the record, so I know the record so much more than I did that show film.
And basically, it's...
I'm bored.
"Ming the murderer's this board, and he wants something to play with."
So, "Clitus says, oh, well, there's a planet called Earth."
What do you be able to do, VI?
I am bored.
So, he says, "Why don't you do something to Earth?"
And he says, "I'll ask a good idea, Ola.
I'll send some earthquakes,
and I'll send some hot hail down as well.
And while all this sort of bad weather is hitting the Earth,
we get the score kick in from Queen."
Brian May...
Just everything about this soundtrack.
It shouldn't work.
It's a Queen's soundtrack on a sci-fi fantasy.
But of course, it does work.
I know.
It's so out there.
I think it would work.
Yeah.
And we get all this incredible comic book art for the credits.
Sort of getting you in the mood.
As a kid, the credits for this got me so hyped.
What is this aimed at for kids?
Because it would be my parents would be like,
"There you go, there should be a million,
you know, plunk being in front of it."
I think this was aimed at big kids and kids.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't think this was aimed at...
I'm not taking anything away from this.
But I don't think this was aimed at like the intellectual cinema gore.
Do you know what I mean?
This was aimed at people who wanted to be entertained.
Big kids and kids.
It's difficult though.
I don't...
Who is it aimed at?
That was true.
Us.
There we go.
Yeah, middle-aged cult people in 2024 podcasters.
Yeah, absolutely.
There we go.
So the hot hail starts hitting and we meet our hero,
blonde, sexy, flash Gordon.
He's actually a very charming man.
I actually always thought he's a bit of a CD,
hunt like CD sort of womanizer,
but actually he comes across as quite a nice,
almost a bit dumb charming guy.
It's not me.
Zero, kind of.
Probably he has a zero kind of.
He's got dead dogs in the back of his car.
Well, he's in his car when the hail hits.
And he's about to board a private jet.
And he spots Dale,
played by Melody Anderson, who is a travel agent,
weird.
And he gets on the plane with her and he says,
"Oh, nice to meet you.
I'm flash Gordon.
I'm an American footballer."
Travel agents go on private jet,
and that's their way to travel.
That's what he says, there isn't he?
He says, never thought I'd see a travel agent on a private jet.
But maybe, I don't know.
And while they're on the plane,
they are obviously hit with turbulence
and hailstones and wind and tornadoes and everything else.
And Dale is scared and flash says to a look,
it's fine.
We'll get through this.
And he ends up talking to her and distracting her from what's happening.
He's an American footballer.
And that he's like popular, isn't he?
And that's why he's flash Gordon.
He's just called Gordon.
I don't know what his real name is.
Is it not Gordon?
No, it'd be like,
isn't he not Gordon?
It'd be like Jeff Gordon or something,
but they're calling Flash because he's so fast on the field.
We'll be funny though.
She says, "Why do they call you Flash?"
And then we find out, look,
we're actually watching Flash Gordon,
the porn version.
And it's just getting his toger out.
Yeah, I was going to say,
that's why he's actually called Flash,
because he's constantly got his dick out.
Flash is a flash, it's a pleaping ton, or pervert.
Well, things go wrong, because we get some red clouds blocking out the sun.
Now, anytime you see red clouds in the sky,
so every time I walk down the street,
all of a sudden red fog rolls in,
red smoke, red smog,
anything like that.
I'm out of there.
My face is going to melt.
Going back to something Matthew said,
which leads into the next scene,
is, was this intended to be funny at times?
I think it was.
I think it was.
There's very much tongue in cheek in this film.
There's an element almost of carry on style humor at times in this.
Yeah, the director maybe sort of pushed a little bit,
because it's very camping.
And what I mean by that in the next scene is,
the next scene we see is Dr. Zankov and his assistant
sleeping their beds in their lab.
And suddenly, one of the beds catches fire,
because a hot hail has come through the ceiling.
And he just wakes up and puts his leg on fire.
He doesn't even really sort of,
that scared about it.
And Dr. Zankov says,
"This is everything I've been predicting for the last few years,
an attack on Earth."
He's almost ecstatic that,
"Finally, I can prove them all right."
Great.
And he's got a rocket that he's built.
This is so good.
And he's built this so that he can go on a counter attack
if the Earth is ever attacked,
which it currently is being.
Hey, look at all this.
Pretty bloody handy then.
And he says to his assistant,
"Right, we're getting in this,
and this assistant says,
"Fuck that."
"I am not getting in your rocket.
I'm running."
And he pulls a gun on him and says,
"Get in the rocket."
This was like me and you earlier,
and time team.
It was you were the one trying to run away,
and I had the gun saying,
"Get in the rocket, go."
Press these buttons.
So he runs away,
leaving the dancers on.
Can you summon someone to keep a foot on a pedal or something?
Yeah, he needs two, at least two people to operate it.
If you've got a spaceship there,
some person has to keep their foot on a pedal
to get it going.
I'm not going in there.
Sounds like Wallace and Grommit to me.
It is Wallace and Grommit.
Now, going back to the private jet,
Flash realises that the pilots have been sucked out of the cockpit,
and no one's flying the plane,
and there's a great big hole in the front of the plane,
which is never a good sign.
Never a good sign.
So Flash says, "Well, I guess I'll have to try and flash this plane."
She says, "Can you, can you fly?"
He says, "Hmm, not really."
And he manages to sort of fly it a little bit.
I wonder, "Well, that'd be like, do you know what I mean?"
"How often is that ever going to happen to people?"
It's very, very, very, very, very easy.
You're in a situation where you have to be a pilot
with no experience ever.
Imagine that, through at the same time,
you're going to get in the pilot and go,
have a little giggle to yourself.
My wife put this question to me the other day at the blue.
She said, "Other."
"Nothing to do with Flash Gordon or anything.
She just looked at me one day."
And she must be reading an article,
and she said, "If you were in a plane
and you were the only person that could fly it,
and you had radio help of what to do to land it."
"I forget. Could you do it?"
"I don't have to."
I said, "No, I fucking couldn't."
"Really? Oh, I jumped straight in there.
It let me, I'm in there, get in there with me.
Cut, let's go."
"Oh, great. Well, at least if I'm ever in a plane with you."
"If you can, if you can cope out of me,
absolutely no, I'm taking control."
Literally, almost one of the things I might even have to
take out of everybody in airplane.
It's not, it's not say that. I don't want to be picked up on the FBI's list.
"Yes, no way. Let's move on."
"That was a joke."
So Flash manages to crash the plane into Dr. Zarkov's lab,
and Dr. Zarkov says, "Oh, fantastic. I'm glad you guys are okay."
Are you harmed?
And they're like, "No, no, we're absolutely fine.
Even though we've just crashed the plane into your science lab,
it's all fine."
He says, "Great. Well, you're probably one of,
use my phone to call whoever, like the hospital or the doctors."
So what do you use my phone that's in this little cockpit, and they're like, "Oh, okay."
And he's basically tricking them into thinking his rocket is a phone booth.
He says, "Come on in, you get. Use my phone."
And they get in there and they're saying, "I can't see a phone in here."
At this point, I don't think Flash was very, very intelligent.
No, I don't think he has.
Too many hits to the head, do you have a plane football?
"Is it a bit of a joke, do you think?"
Yeah, I think he is.
But he's a lovely one. He's not like a horrible joke.
He's a charming joke.
So Zarkov falls his gun on them and he says, "Right, this sent to me."
"The rocket is well-shed."
It does. He says, "This sent to me you too.
We've got 11 days before the moon destroys the earth.
And you too are going to help me, cancer attack this invasion in this rocket.
They have a bit of a fight and buttons get pushed back,
and the rocket blasts off.
And we see a practical effects of a rocket."
And two are UK listeners who will remember the childhood program,
But in Moon.
The rocket reminds me a little bit of Mr. Spoon's rocket in that.
"I like that program."
It was a little nipper.
It's good. My kid's on a really...
Yeah, it's cute. So yeah, the rocket blasts off.
And they are on the counterattack,
even though Flash and Dale don't really want to be involved in it.
On the way there, they are spotted by Mings men.
They say, "We've spotted something on the radar Mings."
And they bring the rocket in.
They wake them up and they wake up, and they're alive,
and they're on the planet Mongo.
Yeah.
Imagine that.
There would be a bee shocking.
Everybody is wearing weird fucking outfits.
He says, "I don't think we're there with friends, and someone shoots him."
And they get zapped.
And I've written a note here, "Quality Street."
And let me explain what I mean by that.
For anybody outside of the UK,
where I don't think quality street is sold.
Quality Street is a big tin of chocolates that you get at Christmas in the UK.
And each chocolate is individually wrapped in very shiny,
different coloured wrappers.
Now, every single person in this throne room
were about to meet.
Looks like there are different quality street.
You've got triangular purple ones, you've got big green square ones,
little orange ones, and they're all shiny and glittery.
And I think if there was a little flame in there,
those costumes would go up in a split second.
Yeah.
But they are incredible costumes nonetheless.
Yeah.
Now, a weird floating droid appears
with a fish I lens on it.
And it says, "Stay where you are, prisoners."
And it says, "Oh, is it man? I can see you."
And there's crazy lizard man behind them who's trying to escape.
Just gets destroyed immediately by the floating robot blob.
They get rid of Dr. Zarcoff's gun,
and they drag the wall into the throne room with all the different races of aliens
that I mentioned, the quality streets.
Brian Blessed to there, and is there no people with this birdman?
It's such a sort of like what is going on.
It's a very epic set.
I've got to say it's very bright and red and very like,
"What the fuck? It's quite grand."
Cheesy gun of wai...
Come on, man.
How much cocaine was going on with Dini Adelairentis and his people?
Honestly, this movie is the epitome of what cocaine is.
What is cocaine in Flash Gordon?
Just what is movie in Flash Gordon?
And I don't mean that in a bad way. It's incredible visuals.
No, it's just fucking like it's just, it's like, we could do this.
Or...
Let's do some cocaine.
The problem is this.
The problem is the older this film gets,
the less it'll be, the new audiences will be able to connect with it.
But if I show this to Jack and Edith in about 10 years time,
they'll look at me like, "What the fuck is going on in this, that?
I don't understand why she'll be this film."
I thought I was trying to lodge it, but um...
I didn't bother in the end.
It's quite hard because he is attention spans just not,
it's just children now.
They're, they're YouTuber, YouTubers.
TikTok, YouTube.
Yeah, it weighs you.
He's not, he doesn't have TikTok.
He's too young for that.
But YouTube, um...
And it's just like, it's constant movement.
So I don't know, it's quite hard.
He did lie though.
He really enjoyed Mad Max Fury Road, which he watched.
Jesus Christ.
That's fine with it.
Thing is though, it's great when Gawr, or if he's not, he's gawr, isn't that really.
But if anything comes up, he's just like, I say, obviously that's not real,
because you know, and he's just kind of like, we talk about stuff.
But no, Mad Max Fury Road fished.
He went, "That was amazing."
It is amazing.
Yeah, I mean, it's just like, what the hell like I was.
But so it's quite fun to film to do that.
So the setting we, we have introduced.
So just to recap, the flash has been dragged into a rock here.
He crashed into Planet Mongo, and he's been dragged into a throne room full of different species of
races of aliens.
Some of them have got wings, some of them are like robots.
And we are introduced to Ming.
Ming the most innocent is just a room to some fabulous synth score.
What are your thoughts on the synth score this?
Yeah, that's really good.
So very ominous.
I love synths.
I use them most of the time in our school things.
I'm kind of gutted sometimes when I have to go naturalistic and can't use synths.
So I really enjoyed it on the Star Wars Landry Moon,
Debal Films YouTube.
Check that out and watch that.
I really love synths.
So yeah, it's good.
It's just one big layered synth line.
Do you think an accordion would have worked for this scene?
It would have worked at all, no?
It'd have been absolutely...
Just like maybe you want to smash the TV.
Brian May on the accordion.
I don't want to ever be down a pub with Brian May on the accordion.
Okay.
I'd be down the pub with Brian May though.
No, not Brian May, so I was thinking Brian Brested of the accordion down the pub.
That's yeah.
Oh, oh!
Brian May is fine.
It's just that hair.
Get rid of that hair.
And that's the signature, but it's like the...
It's like you've got a slash, he's kind of cool.
And then you've got Brian May.
It's like your little version.
It's like, oh man.
What are you doing?
I think Brian May is an incredible musician.
And the only film really gutted me is when we will rock you.
And you go through that.
It's a really small, short song.
And then you write the guitar goes,
and then it goes in and it's like,
you could have built this up so much of that drumbeat.
And then it's just like...
So yes, me either thing.
There you go.
Fair enough.
Well, the Hawkemen talk about tributes for Ming.
So they obviously bring sacrifices and tributes to Ming.
Ming rules this region.
There's multiple moons floating around the planet,
and we'll go with different kingdoms on each moon.
And we also meet soon to be a James Bond Timothy Dalton.
And who is Prince Baron of the Tree Men.
So these are the Tree Men.
They're a bit like Robin Hood and his Mary Men.
They live in the Tree Top Kingdom.
It's such a weird movie.
What is such a weird movie?
That was not it.
It is.
And Brian Blessed and Timothy Dalton are about to throw down.
But luckily, gold-faced skeletor,
Clitus.
So I always thought he looked a bit like a skeletor as a kid.
He's Ming's right-hand man.
And he steps in and he stops him from fighting.
He says, "Right, well, I need whatever kingdom it is.
You to come and show me your worth."
So Ming calls this guy up and he says, "Look, you've got my loyalty."
He says, "Okay, great.
Fall on your sword."
And he says, "What?"
He says, "Fall on your sword, kill yourself."
It's like a little bit like damn you.
Damn!
So he's called his blood.
Well, he turns around and he says, "Okay, well."
And he pulls his sword and then he says,
"Death to Ming," and he tries to kill Ming.
And Ming freezes him with a freeze-frame and kills him.
And after all of this,
Flashtra turns to Dale and says, "This Ming is a psycho."
But the robot hears that and goes, "This Ming is a psycho."
And like, basically, in a grass is him up to Ming.
So there we go.
Princess Aura steps into the room.
She is the hot daughter of Ming,
who everybody wants to piece off.
And most people are getting.
And she sees Flashtra Gordon.
And her first thought is,
"Yeah, I want to flash his Gordon, definitely."
That's the first thing she thinks when she sees him.
She literally doesn't want him to call.
He says, "Ming, my name is Flashtra Gordon.
I'm a footballer from Earth.
This is my friend's Dale and Dr. Zarkoff."
And she says, "As I'm saying this out loud, it's just so funny."
But brilliant at the same time.
Ming hypnotises Dale.
From what I can tell, he seems to give her an orgasm in front of
absolutely everybody in the throwing room.
Because she sort of goes, "Her eyes were back and around."
And she looks like she's having a bit of a good time.
Yeah, it's very deep.
And she says, "Oh, what happened?"
And Flashtra says, "Oh, I don't know, but it was spectacular."
And Ming says, "Right, prepare her for our pleasure.
Take her off and prepare her, because I'm going to be getting some pleasure from her later."
Can I intervene with a really random fact about the cinematographer of this?
Please, please do.
Gilbert Taylor is one of the top British cinematographers in a serious dairy farmer.
Gilbert Taylor used to divide his time comfortably between the driving seat of a panorvision camera
and the cockpit of a multi-hoyote horse power tractor.
Is he the guy that worked on the Star Wars movies?
Yeah, and I'm in Dracula.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
It's a pitchcock, plant ski.
He got some dairy farmers on the go.
It's a farmer.
Good for him.
Multi-task him.
Yeah, sorry, I just discovered this.
Well, Flashtra says it's time to fight.
So he starts fighting everybody.
And he uses his football skills, or his American football skills, as we would say.
But so he starts tackling them.
He even does the 24th, 48th, 36th, hut, hut.
They throw him an object, which is a bit like a football so that he can hold that and really get into the zone.
You've got a day-all cheerleading going, "Go, Flashtra, go, Flashtra, go, Flashtra."
It's all very exciting, isn't it?
It is very exciting.
And actually, I remember as a kid how excited I was when she was doing that.
But now it seems a bit...
But I love this movie, so whatever it happens.
Brian trips up one of the guy.
Brian blesses trips up one of the people that Flashtra's fighting.
So he's kind of...
You can tell that later on down the line, he's probably going to help out a little bit.
And the Brian Megatar kicks in as well.
Yeah, man, man.
Yeah.
But Flashtra gets knocked out.
And Aura says, "Father, I want him."
Yep.
And he says, "Well, you can have him and then he'll have a public execution."
Is that how it works in his family?
I guess.
All right, you new boyfriend, you can have him and then we'll just execute him in front of everybody.
Okay?
Great.
So cut to the prison, the dungeon, the flash looks like a bit of a gimp from Hellraiser in this,
now. He's strapped up with a big spiky mask on his head.
And he's tied out and he's going, "You gotta let me go, come on."
Dale comes in and she says, "Flash, I want to see him so these sort of make his heart as
hellmate disappear."
And how she does not make his hellmate disappear.
She wants to. They talk and they say, "Look, is this a dream?"
And Flashtra says, "Well, if this is a dream, if this is a dream, we're both having it."
And you can tell that there's a little bit, there's actually a little bit of chemistry between
them, between the actors as well. You know, you can tell they're in this situation and they are
kind of falling for each other, even though they're in this crazy planet of Mongo.
So later on, it's execution time and Flashtra is told, "Where these, where these leather pants,
like everyone else in the film?" And he's in these tiny little leather shorts, go.
We should do a Flash Gordon part, sometime.
"Have you ever worn leather?"
"No."
"Other than leather jacket, have you ever worn anything below the waist?"
"No, no, nothing, nothing leather below my waist ever."
"When I was 18 or 19..."
"Settling everyone."
"It's a bit of a guarantee climax, but when I was about 18 or 19, and I had disposable income,
my mum had one of those catalogues, you know, that you'd order clothes from,
pay it off an instalment. So I used to buy my new trainers."
"Pre-internet, jewellery, pre-internet."
And I gave my mum a list of things I wanted to order that month.
And one of the things on that list was a pair of leather trousers.
And my mum said, "Right, I've ordered your stuff. I didn't order your leather trousers for you."
I said, "Oh, what mum? Come on," she said, "Daniel, I'm not having you wear leather trousers."
And then I told my then girlfriend, "Oh, come on, I've ordered some new clothes.
My mum would let me order leather trousers." She said, "What the fuck? Why would you want leather trousers?"
"Well, I said because I thought it'd be cool."
So I'd never got to have my leather trousers, Gav.
"I'm glad."
"I'm very glad, though, because I can't imagine them being very comfortable."
"I just wish you'd be sending me photos."
"Oh, one day. I can buy some now and send you some photos now.
I've been not the man I was."
"I'm about twice the weight. I don't have a six pack. I just got a beer barrel."
Anyway, flash is another short. He's brought into the ex-cution chamber.
Daniel is crying, of course. They sit him in the chair and they gasp him.
They fill up the chamber with gas and he's dead. That's it. Flash is dead.
Flash is dead, dead flash.
They even have a coffin and a tombstone for him.
And aura, Princess aura walks in.
And it's all a fuck toy.
Yeah, she's basically tricked her father and the entire kingdom.
They didn't give him a proper dosage. They injected him with some flesh.
Flesh Gordon.
She says, "Look, because the doctor says I've brought him back and she says, 'Good, good.
You'll get your reward later.' So she's even banging the doctor because she got him to bring flash back.
So she's banging the doctor. She wants the bang flat.
She's banging Timothy Dolson we'll find out later on.
And Clitus wants to bang her. She's banging everyone.
Princess aura.
I'm just going to quickly check out some pictures for Flesh Gordon.
I've seen Flesh Gordon.
1974, and can't be.
I've seen Flesh Gordon.
Is it older than this? Is it?
1974.
No deal.
That's crazy, isn't it?
So they bring him back to life. She sneaks him out and they take him to Prince
Baron in the tree top kingdom and he meets the Robin Hood men.
They have a bit of an argument there.
What we're going to say?
No, I'm just sort of just a lot of lightest bit.
We have such a random bit. This is the tree log bit, is it?
In a minute, just before that though, we see Ming, a raising doctor's own class mind.
It's such a dark thing as a kid. I remember this being quite a traumatic thing for me.
This scene, you talk about the scene where they raise his mind, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, this scene is up there for me with the bit in Superman 3 where the girl turns into like
an undroid girl because it is traumatic because you see him progress all the way back to being a
baby and then goes back into his mum and it's like, oh, they've just erased his entire memory.
Yeah.
And there's a funny moment actually where they're going through it all.
Some glimpses of Adolf Hitler pop up on screen and Ming says,
hmm, he seems quite noticeable.
Yeah.
So interesting.
So they've erased his mind and they're going to reprogram him to work for Ming
because he's very brainy, very intelligent genius from Earth.
My next line, my next note says,
"Sexy driving lessons for Flash."
They're very sexy driving lessons, aren't they?
Because they're driving along him in Princess Aura, she's whisking him off to the Treetop Kingdom.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Did she say that she has a Jeffrey Epstein island that she's taken him to?
Basically, she says, I've got a love, like a pleasure island, she's called it, isn't she?
Yeah, fucking Jeffrey Epstein's island.
Yeah, and she says, we're going to go there and we're going to, you know, pleasure.
She sits on his lap and she talks, she says to him, oh, there's a device you can use to talk to people
without speaking, I'll show you this in a moment.
Cut back to Dale.
She's in the bedroom waiting for Ming to come in.
And one of the slave girls says, oh, you need to drink this pleasure drink.
Trust me, it helps if you're going to be making love to Ming.
How terrible is that?
What does that help me forget? She says, it doesn't help me forget, but it makes it harder to remember.
No, mate, yeah.
Why? What has he got down there?
It's not that, it's just the fact it's such a horrible thing, they're all like, no, no, no,
because nobody wants to bang in, look at him.
So cut back to Aura in her sexy rocket with Flash and she uses her thought to phone.
That's what I'm going to call it.
This is why Elon Musk's come out of Dale.
That's the thought phone.
And she contacts Prince Baron and Flash says, could I use this to speak to Dale?
And she says, you could, but I'm not going to show you how.
And he's like, well, and then I'm not going to do anything unless you don't do it.
So he contacts.
This is quite a comical, though.
He contacts Dale.
And he says, you know, I don't worry, I'm still alive.
What's happening with you?
She's like, oh, I'm going to have sex with Megan in a minute.
He says, okay, well, I'm going to try and rescue you.
I'm with Princess Aura at the moment.
But like I said, I am alive.
That's the main thing.
I'll figure it out way to get back to you.
Man, this girl's really turning me on.
Because while he's on the phone to Aura's like feeling him up and really like grinding on his lap.
And he just thinks, man, this girl's really turning me on.
She goes, what? Flash?
And he's like, oh, sorry, that's somebody else I'm talking about.
Oh, no, I mean, anyway, I've got to go now.
It's bad signal.
Yeah.
It's secretive that it's accidentally texting the wrong person.
Yeah.
Whoopsie flash.
Not see.
But yeah, she's really, really feeling him up.
And she's locked in Ming's bedroom.
And, uh, oh yeah, Dale says to one of the slaves,
hey, maybe you should try this potion.
She says, oh, it's not permitted.
It's forbidden.
She's like, oh, come on.
Just try one bit of it.
She drinks it.
And it knocks her out so that she can escape later on.
Um, so she's, she's quite a badass in this, isn't she?
She does some good martial arts in a minute.
Well, I say good.
She does some martial arts in a minute.
Um, Zarkov is now a baddie and he's ready to serve Ming.
This must be intentional now.
As Princess Orra lands on the treetop kingdom.
Dropping her flaps.
Yep.
You've written the same thing as me?
Well, any movie is going to have dropped your flaps in it.
It's going to be a note in my, uh, note.
So she says drop my flaps and they land and.
But they say they're off to off to see whoever it is, whatever it is.
And it's 6.5 away.
And I was like, it's 6.5.
What?
Just 6.5.
Is everything registered just with numbers?
But that's it.
Go have what time is it? 2.7.
What?
How far away you know?
6.5 away.
6.5?
Okay.
Um, so Dale escapes from the bedroom and she beats up a guard.
She grabs a ray gun and she ends up taking out about a dozen guards.
Six years.
Just using some gymnastics and a ray gun.
She can ask for a lord.
And she, and don't forget, she's a travel agent.
Yeah.
Fucking hell.
What kind of travel agent is she?
This movie very much has a big trouble in China Star Wars vibe.
Oh, it has got a big trouble in China, hasn't it?
No, it's big trouble in China all over this.
All over the baby.
Absolutely John Compton is watching Flash Gordon and Wayne.
Yeah, for the look of big trouble in China a bit.
Oh, of course, of course.
Now it will make sense, especially the end when you're in low pounds palace.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
All the colours and neon's and everything.
Yeah, man.
Why have I not seen that before?
Nice one.
Um, so Zarkov actually takes grabs aura and sorry,
Dale and takes her off and they find out that the trait here was aura.
Kurt Russell wants to be Flash Gordon possible.
There we go.
There we go.
So you'll turn to Flash Gordon.
So Clitus and Ming and Zarkov all figure out that aura was the one that was the
traitor and is the one that's helping Flash.
And even though it's his daughter Ming's like, yeah, we're going to kill her.
Don't worry about it.
She shouldn't have trippy trailed me.
So in the jungle village, um, Flash and aura meet the the tree men.
And this is very weird.
As we approach this group of men, all year here is like a rhythmic thumping sound.
And they're all going, ah, ah, uh, uh, and you think,
are they having group masturbation?
What is happening?
And when they get there, they realise that they're all banging.
What they banging?
Banging big sticks.
And Richero Bryan is there with his little flute.
The blue Peter dude.
And the blue Peter dude.
And there's a game that they play where they put their hand in an old tree stump.
And there's a very deadly creature that lives in there.
And it's a right of passage.
If you are brave enough to put your hand in there and you can pull your hand out and
you haven't been bitten, then you're considered a man, you're considered a warrior.
However, if it bites you, you're going to go mad and die so they just kill you with a sword.
It means doors in there, isn't she?
With, with, uh, Timothy Dalton.
Yeah, because he gives her a big kiss and he's like, oh, he's around everyone, isn't she?
He's in love with her.
She, she's banging everyone.
Yeah.
He's in love with her.
Um, they cannot believe that Flash Gordon's alive.
Gordon's alive.
Cut back to Dr. Zankov and he says to Dale, hey, I've got something to tell you.
I haven't had my memory raised.
I held on to pop music and rock music and all the memories I could.
So the, uh, the memory razor didn't work on me because I'm just a genius, Dale.
I'm a genius.
Yeah, he won't sure, if he was actually like, gonna go and I couldn't remember,
because always thought he was a baddie.
But I think I'm thinking of the dude who's in that, the black hole.
The black hole.
Oh, yeah.
God.
That's a bad guy.
That Disney movie.
Yeah, really, really, maybe he makes you off his guy.
That's a challenge.
Yeah.
I could actually be a part of his whole.
The one Disney film that maybe want to end it.
Oh, god, that's horrible.
That's not like a pleasure at all.
Well, Zankov and Dale jump on a hover bike and they're gonna,
they're gonna fly off together now.
Cut back to Treetop Kingdom.
Flash, the flash is gonna try a passage.
Well, he's in a, first of all, he's in a cage.
Oh, yeah.
He's lowered into the swamp by Timothy Dalton with some other prisoners.
And they're basically gonna leave him there overnight.
And he's, yeah, he's a prisoner.
Probably gonna die.
And, uh, aura is brought back to her father and she's whipped.
Her father commands people to whip his daughter to get the confession out of her.
Well, well, they sort of say earlier like, you know,
we're gonna find out who's the traitor, my lord.
Shell, we do it to anybody, whoever it is, fall like,
whipage.
And he's like, yeah, whoever it is, do it without really, I think thinking that his daughter
would be the one who is the traitor.
But Clitus knows it was her.
And he's like, he's well upright.
He's like, he's not like, I can really fucking whip the shell out of them.
Whoever it is, yeah.
He's the king, he passes.
Yeah.
Um, he says, bring me the boorms, which I'm guessing,
or some kind of a worm that boars its way into your brain.
Ming comes in and he says, ah, and she's like, father, father, I've been tortured.
And he's like, continue the torture.
He just walks off.
He really is merciless, Gav.
He really is.
He really is.
He really is merciless.
Richard, everyone plays the flute in a little scene now.
It's such a, it's such a, not, yeah, but naming the merciless.
It's such a unique sort of thing for certain only certain situations.
That's a perfect example where he goes, ah, if I get carried on, it's my door.
I've got no mercy on this.
I'm Ming the merciless.
Not often that comes into play.
I'm down Tesco, shopping.
And I'm going to pretty grab those potatoes, the last ones, and you're not going to get them.
And there's an old lady.
She's working away.
She's working away towards the last potatoes on the shelf, Gav.
This old lady, she wants to make some mashed potatoes for her husband.
And you just take them and you look at her and go, they're mine.
Ming the potato was not that sweet.
And then Jessica, Jessica, the checkout girl sees you do it.
She says, oh, that Gav's merciless, isn't he?
Is it Vera's last potato?
Suppose that does still work with the merciless, but not all the time.
No. What if he's like, just angry?
Ming the angry.
He shouts at someone.
Oh, he was angry.
Ming the, he's not, he's not, he's angry.
It's Ming the merciless.
What if he's an angry?
What if he's eating too much cheese in the next days, Ming the constipated?
What, but then if you have to throw him all in there, Ming the merciless was angry.
You're throwing in too much stuff then.
It's too complicated.
Don't know.
Well, during this flute playing scene, Ming the constipated.
Yeah.
It's not a flesh flute that British liberal ends playing, but he's playing a flute.
And this is where he convinces to me the Dalton look.
I do think you should probably say Flash Gordon.
She's, uh, for some reason, for some reason, a bold man with a flute
always guides me in the right direction.
So, I'm going to be a bold man with a fly at the flute,
so I'll guide you in the right direction.
Is that really a little, and then puppies in the house?
Whoa.
Whoa.
Where aren't stranger danger?
Ming says, back at Ming's palace, he says, look, I think the best thing to do is,
you marry, I'll banish her to the ice cave on another planet for one year.
Not going to kill her.
I'm going to do worse.
I'm going to spanish her to an ice cave.
Spanish her.
What you said?
Not spanish, banish her.
Spanish her.
And if she survives one year in the ice caves of wherever it is,
then you can have her and marry her as our coffin.
He's like, yes.
Yes.
So I hope she's alright.
Zark coffin Dale, they get approached by the hawk men,
and they get taken down to Brian Blesig's nappy planet, men and diapers or nappies.
And, uh, what's the name of the app, so he does the laundry.
Brian.
The laundry Brian.
You've got skid marks again.
I can't get your skid marks out.
Come on.
And this is the favourite scene ever.
He says to them, uh, they basically say to them,
"Flash Gordon's alive."
And he says, what does he say?
He has "Gordon's alive."
Brilliant.
And they say, alright, we think we might help you in that case.
So Dale and Zarkov are persuading the hawk men,
and Flash is persuading the tree top men.
Um, but first of all, the tree men say to Flash
Prince Baron says, I'll tell you what, let's play the wood beast game.
Best of three, okay?
So they put their hands in the, uh, in the hole,
Mm-hmm.
Right up to the elbow.
[Squeak]
Right in there.
[Laughs]
And Flash has been bitten, and we get to the third go.
Yeah, because they're going to be done.
So it's like, no, I've changed the rules.
You're going to go again.
Yeah, and what?
And he's like, and again.
Like, this is plainly unfair now, isn't it?
Yeah.
But Flash being the clever, well not so clever,
but clever man that he is, he pretends to be bitten by the creature.
And they say, right, well, we're going to have to kill you now,
because the agony is just terrible.
And he says, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and then he grabs a sword.
He says, I saw what happens.
Yeah, but he grabs a sword, he fights them off,
and he swings away like tarzan on a vine.
[Squeak]
Baron chases him, and of course, Gav,
is the 80s.
What happens in every 80s movie?
Flash Gordon falls into Quick Sound.
Yeah, yeah.
Basically, he would have died here if Tim Fiedon hadn't helped him.
That'd been the end of the movie.
Now there's a bit here that I forgot about,
because he gets out of the Quick Sound,
but then a giant fucking crab creature.
I forgot all about this horrible crab that sort of,
it's like a big inflatable bladder random.
Yeah, it's just swallowing, which is just gnarly, yeah.
Thank God, though, that Timothy Dalton saves him.
He kills the creature.
And the Hulkmen, they stop Baron from shooting Flash,
because they're like, no, no, no, we think we, uh,
we think we can help.
We can all take down Ming, and they start,
with realizing that they can bring down this
merciless Ming, if they all stand together.
It's great, great stuff.
Yep.
Claritism is formed of everyone's whereabouts, and now,
so now the baddies know where the goodies are,
but the goodies obviously know where the baddies are.
Uh, Baron tells Volta on about something called trial by combat,
not more talk on that, trial by combat.
And he says, I want to fight Flash.
So Baron still wants to fight Flash at this point.
Um, Dale sees Flash, they have a big hug in the case,
and then they have a big fight then.
And it's a bit like the Gladiators, the popular 90s,
uh, US and UK TV show, because they're on a big platform now
that's controlled by Brian Blessed's remote control.
And he's got all these buttons, he can press to tilt the,
the arena or make spikes come out.
He's just laughing away.
That's great.
It gives them a whip each of all the things to fight another man,
a whip curve.
So what a bit kinky.
We're big w bitches.
[laughs]
I'm working out.
I would love to, Brian Blessed say that.
If you ever meet him, get him to say that like.
I can have done.
I'm working on giving him 20 quid in to say it.
I know it wasn't in any of the scripts, Brian.
But she's caught.
I shouldn't have got an audio extra for the podcast.
Could you just say,
we're big, we're big, other you bitches.
Yes, of course.
We're big good.
[laughs]
Brian's laughing away.
And this is where Dale shouts the famous flash.
I love you.
But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth, basically saying,
hurry the fuck up flash and get this over with.
Because we've only got 14 hours left.
Baron falls, but flash saves him.
They shake hands.
And this is where the team up really happens.
Claritas arrives though.
And everyone's in trouble now.
There's another fight.
Claritas gets thrown onto the spikes.
And for some godly and no reason, his eyeballs pop out of his mask.
Don't know why.
That disturbed me as a child.
I didn't understand why that was happening.
Yeah, it's a strange film.
I think I feel like they just got the effect.
And they were like, where can we fit this is?
As a child, it was a strange film to watch.
It's just like, what am I watching?
I don't understand.
Now, the Hawkmen do chicken out if he pardon the pun at this point.
And say, we're flying off.
We're going to save ourselves.
And you think, oh, wow.
But don't worry, they are going to come back later at the last moment
and help save everybody.
Ming arrives in yet another costume.
This guy's got more costume changes than Beyonce.
Every scene is in a different robe, you know.
That is a ride, Deva.
Yeah, isn't he?
Which one do you want to wear next?
Ming, oh, the gold one, of course.
This is my execution outfit.
This is my whipping my daughter outfit, please.
Thank you very much.
Ming the merciless, what a fantastic bad guy.
It would rather go for a drink with the pub.
Ming the merciless or skeleton?
Ming the merciless.
Wow.
Any reason?
I think it'd be quite cool.
I think people look over and go like,
"Gosh, if Ming the merciless."
You know, I'd obviously go with skeleton.
I'd be on the next table to you with skeleton.
So we'll be laughing at you too.
No, but he's sitting there just the way he is.
And skeletons are just like,
"Gang, you're in a bad state."
So he's speaking.
To be honest, he would just be bitching to me
about he man the whole time.
Ming the merciless would be sitting and go,
"Gavine board."
Another night, do you want to play cards?
Darts?
There's a quiz machine over there.
Going to put a pain in it.
Instead of cards, I'm bored.
"Gavine board."
If I made something to play with.
Darts?
Dominoes?
What's dominoes?
Just pawns, gachins.
I'd love it to see that.
This is the scene I'd love to see.
You go, "Oh, God, say this guy's nothing pleases him."
I think I like drafts.
Guys, can we have the Scrabble board when you're done?
Because this guy wants to.
Yeah, we have it next, please.
And I've put a pound on the pool top.
Ming there's a giant gengo over there.
Come on.
I'm ticked.
I'm bored.
Stop saying you're bored.
It's giant gengo.
How can you be bored?
He's a fucking port scratcher, isn't he, cunt?
So he's impressed with Flash at this point.
And he says, "Look, here's what I'll do.
I'm going to rule the entire universe.
But I'll let you be the king of Mongo.
Because I think you're pretty cool.
You've done well to get this far.
You're right with that.
Flash says, "No.
No, thank you."
So they managed to leave
with Dale.
Ming does.
And they shoot at Flash.
And he manages to escape on a sky-bike-hover-sledge thing.
It does.
It does.
It's a famous scene.
We've all seen that.
It teams up with the Hawkmen now.
Yeah, they regret not hoping.
Flash calls Volt on on the radio.
And Volt and says, "Okay, we're going to help you."
Me more Dale, just like in Big Trouble,
and I've said it, I'm seeing it.
Dale's getting ready for her wedding against her.
Where, doesn't she?
Just like in "Gitral."
God, I never made this comparison.
Dale and Aura, they have a big fight in a big bed.
This one was written by bloke's, this scene.
Get the two Hawkwomen to fight each other in a bed.
I remember I was with Sarah Worsh, and I think I did come in.
What does she need to be there?
A nice reason, really, is there, you know?
Just two women fighting in a bed.
But they end up realizing that they can help each other,
because Ming is going to kill his daughter.
So Dale says, "Look, come with us. Help us."
Ming the man.
Ming the man.
Aura gives Dale some poison and says,
"My father likes to drink a power potion before he makes love."
So he's given you a drink, and he's taking one himself as well.
Do you know me?
Big right head, no.
But Dale says, "I can't do it.
I gave him my word that I'd marry him."
What?
I can't know.
He's making you drink a power potion.
He's drinking a power potion.
He's making you drink a rate potion.
He's got Bill Cosby's drink.
He's giving you.
He's got Bill Cosby's drink of choice.
Yeah, that's not bad, but it will.
Come on now, flesh-garden.
Wap-wap-wap!
Give it a map.
He'll see if every one of us
skips up a duper.
The same thing about every duper.
The same thing about every duper.
Impressions are not a podcast.
Welcome to the Cosby show.
Each you put in.
So we know this shits back to go down now because Freddie Mercury
bellows out.
Flash.
And this is where we get the whole.
Flash-garden is approaching.
What do you mean Flash-garden is approaching?
Open fire.
And the lasers are firing.
And the Hawkmen back him up in the sky.
This is the bit Matthew was talking about with a guitar.
Kix.
And that guitar is incredible.
A little guitar lick.
Brian Blaster says, "Dive!
Why Hawkmen?
Dive!"
And they all dive down.
Some of them are killed.
There's laser as firing.
We get practical fights and stunts.
Brian Blaster's kicking ass.
Dive!
He says, "Dive!"
He's killing people.
You ask what you want to hear.
I want to hear him say, "Where bit your bitches?"
Where bit bitches?
Suck my nubby.
Flash joins them in the fight.
And Brian Blaster, I've written here,
Brian Blaster looks to ranged in this thing.
Because he's just, it's like he thinks he's in a real battle.
I think yeah.
And this is the bit apparently where he gets going, "Pew, pew!"
And they have to keep cutting,
because he kept saying, "Pew, pew, so much."
hilarious.
"Pew, pew!"
"Pew!"
Ming is losing the fight.
So the wedding starts and he says, "To begin my wedding,
I like to begin my wedding to say,
with the execution of Prince Barron and Dr. Zarkoff,
please.
That's how we start all of our weddings on this planet.
All are managers to save them from jail, though.
And at this point, Gav, they've now only got three minutes
to save the Earth.
"Yeah, do."
It time is ticks away.
And we get some, the wedding march,
but this time it's played by Brian May, isn't it?
Imagine if I'd have had Brian May playing that at my wedding.
"Ben, weird."
And Brian Blessed as the person who married me and Alice.
Do you down, take,
honest to be your whipping bitch?
So yeah, three minutes to save the Earth.
Brian May, wedding anthem,
flash is basically in a kamikaze,
the rocket that he's flying into Ming's palace.
It's willing to die for this.
Yep.
This is the hero and he'll save every one of us.
Prince Barron and Dr. Zarkoff team up,
they storm the headquarters of the palace.
They take control, they kill the general car, the lady.
And Dr. Zarkoff, the activates the lightning field.
So basically the force field around the palace.
The wedding vows begin, though.
But just as they're getting into the nitty gritty of the wedding vows,
flash flies the ship into the palace.
And the spike on the front of the ship,
javling straight through Ming.
Threats straight through the torso.
And he dies. He vanishes.
His power ring falls off of his finger to the floor.
Everyone's happy and celebrating.
And then the weird flashing orb thing with a fisheye lens says,
long live flash garden.
Flash Gordon does a weird freeze frame jump.
They didn't know how to finish the movie.
So he came up with the idea and says,
"I'll just jump at the camera and say, 'Yeah!'"
Yep.
And then the epa-log?
You couldn't think of how to end the movie.
And then what I said to you, a lot of this movie was improvised.
Random.
Coking.
And then the epa-log is, "Thank you, flash.
We'll name this day, flash Gordon day.
I hope you have a good day."
Literally says that.
And the planet and all the kingdoms unite.
And then, at the very end, somebody grabs Ming the Marius Felicia's ring.
Is it Ming?
Is it lightest?
Is it aura?
We don't know.
Because they never made part two or part three.
No.
Did they do well in the cinema?
I think it did.
I think it did very well.
Yeah.
Random isn't it?
Random film.
But then the end credits play it with Queen,
over the top of them, which is just phenomenal.
I'll tell you how it did, Gav.
So the budget on this was an estimated 20 million dollars.
Yeah?
We're opening weekend.
Four million.
Worldwide gross.
And sadly, it was just 27 million.
Yeah, I'm looking at now.
Yeah, that's not good.
So it made money.
It made its money back.
But that's why they didn't green light two or three.
Yeah, but...
Depends on...
It's not good enough, is it?
They probably haven't included in the budget, like the Marx and Costs.
But listen.
One thing you can say about this movie is you always have a good time.
Whether you turn it over and it's halfway through or you only watch 20 minutes of it,
everybody knows this movie and so that.
And I've got to give a shout out to Ricky Morgan and RJ McCready when I'm reviewing this movie.
Because it's...
Those are two of the biggest fans of it I've ever met in my life.
And obviously Matthew is as well.
And if somebody tells you
that they don't like Flash Gordon,
I wouldn't trust them.
If it's somebody over the age of 30,
says to you, either I've never seen it or I don't like it, don't trust that person.
Really?
Yeah, that's what I would say.
For enough.
Same person says I don't like animals.
Doctor Carr takes them.
Yeah, it's strange.
But listen, it's a great movie.
It's fun.
It's Campe's Hell.
It kind of...
affected me as a kid in that it's ingrained in my psyche,
the music.
Some of the weird visuals with the
tree beasts and the ice popping out.
Yeah, some weird stuff and it's very colourful and just fantastic.
Fantastic, I don't know.
But it's definitely a thumbs up from me.
Give it a thumbs up if you haven't seen it because it's just fucking worth just a hell there, isn't it?
It's a bit of a tradition, really.
I don't think I've watched it this Christmas because I know I was reviewing it.
But if it's on, I always watch it Christmas whenever it's on.
And now I own it digitally.
I've got no excuse, really.
No.
There we go.
Uh, Matthew Godly.
Thank you for picking Dead Man Shoes and Flash Gordon.
The highs and lows of cinema.
I don't mean lows as in its crap.
It's just mean it's emotionally battering the other movie.
But this movie will lift your spirits, make them sore, like Brian blesses Nappy.
Overhead.
My whipping brookers.
So there we go.
Well, let's have a little break.
Take our leather Nappy's off and come back to do the outro.
Good slice.
Yeah, the Nappy isn't coming off.
Oh.
Over back.
And we're back again.
So that was our Patreon pic first episode of the year as well.
And an excuse to get at the time machine.
Thank you again to our Patreon at Matthew Godly.
I needed to take the crime back from you now.
So it was on tight.
And we'll put that back in its glass case ready for the next Patreon in a few episodes of time.
But I hope you enjoyed that Matthew.
Thank you again for suggesting this.
A good lunch.
That was all round too.
Well, I love to talk about Dead Man Shoes.
Yeah, Dead Man Shoes is incredible film.
Flash Gordon is just essential viewing really at some point in your life.
Two very good films to two very different reasons.
Well, that was that.
Should we talk about what's coming up next?
What is next?
Well, I know what's next.
Next, Gab, it's your birthday.
Birthday, so.
So you've chosen a William Friedkin movie that I've never seen
called Sorcerer from 1977.
I don't know if I can say it once.
So yeah.
A bunch of guys have to transport nitro glycerin
across a treacherous landscape, is that correct?
Yeah.
Very tense.
Sounds very 70s, so I look forward to watching that.
Well, you know there's no special effects going on.
That's the beauty of it.
But Friedkin is a director on the fan off,
so I'm hoping to see some tension and yeah, there's going to be a lot of that.
And you've paired that up with?
Something a lot harder to go with it.
And very modern really compared to the other.
From 2022, Studio 666, starring the food fighters themselves.
Again, only seeing the ones, sort of the same thing.
But really enjoyed it as like an 80s horror movie,
and it knows what it is.
And I was so shocked by like Dave Crowe, how good he was in it.
No, I wasn't shocked by that actually,
because he's quite a good person, a person like that.
But yeah.
And I've not seen that one either.
So next episode, I'm a double virgin.
As they say.
So that's episode 148, Gaps, first thing.
Who says a double virgin?
You.
You just said they say, I want to know who they are.
Ming and Flash.
They're double virgin.
Yeah.
No, I'm a double virgin because I haven't seen either of the films.
But you said they say, and I want to know who they are.
I don't know.
Let's move on.
So that was episode 148.
And then after that, for episode 149,
that will be our first director special of the year.
We're going to be trying to do a few of these.
And we're going to be taking a look at Adam Green
and his back catalogue.
As they say.
And for him, we will be specifically covering Frozen
from 2010.
Not the Disney animated musical.
And we'll also be covering Digging Up the Marrow
from 2014, which I'm a big fan of both of those.
I've only seen Digging Up the Marrow once,
and I've really enjoyed it.
So I'm looking forward to going back and doing that one again.
And after that, I'm very excited to announce our next patron pick
for a whopping episode 150.
That's a nice rang number, isn't it?
Yeah, it's over.
And what better than our buddy, R.J. McReedy,
it's his patron pick.
And he is selected, and this is exciting.
A couple of London gangster flicks.
I know.
This is a really interesting choice.
He's selected the Long Good Friday
with Bob Waskins.
Bob Waskins.
I've already seen it in the once, but I remember enjoying it.
1980.
Good stuff.
And he's paired that up with...
Both to both East End films as well.
East End of London.
The classic 1998 guy, Richie Directed,
Lockstock and two smoking boughs.
Holy sh*t.
Fantastic.
Fucking LRJ.
Those are a couple of waters to talk about there.
So yeah, something exciting stuff coming up for the next three episodes.
It's a good year.
It's a good year.
So 10th year, we've got to keep him rolling.
Yep.
So that's where we're at for the next three episodes, Gav.
Cool.
Anything you want to say before I hit the admin button?
No, you get on with it, son.
You always stand short.
Oh, I'm so sure.
He's getting East End of Eddie, guys.
He's getting East End of Eddie.
So, as always, as not as we have been for the last 10 years,
now we're the podcast on haunted hill.
Thank you for listening, everybody.
Thank you for your support.
We are a proud member of the Legion podcasts network.
You can find out more about the Legion podcast on Legionpodcasts.com
All of our episodes are on there as are all the other shows on the network's episodes.
We have a Facebook page, which is the podcast on haunted hill.
You can message us directly.
You can post what you're watching, what you are looking forward to.
You can just give us means and all the other nonsense.
It's a really good community of people.
It's been around for 10 years now, and we absolutely love everybody on there.
Some really good friends we've made on there over the years.
Legion also has a Facebook page.
As it sounds, sounds just Legion podcast.
You can find that.
Similarly, we're really good group of people on there,
and all the other podcasts posts on there as well.
We're available wherever you're listening to us now,
but also places like Spotify, YouTube,
PodKnife, Apple, and a bunch of other podcasts and platforms.
We're on Instagram, the podcast on haunted hill
Insta, which is where I would generally promote the show,
with a link to the episode and a little collage of the posters
and our logo.
We mentioned it earlier, but Star Wars Sanctuary Moon is currently on YouTube
and doing really well with views.
It's our Star Wars horror short film that we made recently
through our production company, which is Deadbolt Films.
Go to DeadboltFilms.com to find out more about what we do,
whether it's podcasting, short films, features,
comics, it's all on there.
And you can support us if you go to DeadboltFilms.com
or if you go to our YouTube channel, which is Deadbolt Films on YouTube,
and we're on Instagram just under Deadbolt Films.
And finally, the topic of this episode is Patreon.
We have Patreon, and if you wish to support us in a monetary fashion,
for as little as a pound or a dollar a month, or as much as you'd like,
we won't say no.
Don't have to do it though, we would always do this show even if no one did that,
but it does help to support the show keep the show going by movies, rent movies.
And if you become a patron, not only do you get a patron pic like Matthew had for this episode,
every three episodes somebody gets a patron pic where you get to pick the two episodes,
but you also get a T-shirt.
Not the two episodes, you get to pick the two films.
The two films I do apologize.
You also get a T-shirt and you get access to exclusive content and all of our...
That's Noody Picks.
Yeah, My Noody Picks.
And you get all of our back catalogue as well, which is also My Noody Picks.
So if you want to become a patron, just go to Patreon.
So...
Fits is of Dan's back catalogue.
Don't.
No one wants to see that.
So just go to Patreon search for the podcast on haunted hill.
If you can't find it, then you can message me on Facebook,
or you can use our email, which is the podcast on haunted hill at outlook.com
And you can message me on Twitter.
I always forget and I never want to say what is.
I look.com.
Outlook.com.
Yeah.
And as always, we're going to shout out each of our patrons now
in the Star of Brian Blessed.
So thank you very much too.
That's good.
I'm Jamie Jenkins.
Oh, Kevin S is Bife is alive.
That's the way you did the animal nectar.
Sarah Cruey.
Rachel.
Fly my bird, Ben Fly.
Oh, Jamie Creedy.
You're mouthful, actually look like his just then.
And Lex Boo.
He's got the big beard, a great big bushy beard, a good bushy beard.
Thank you to all of our patrons for your support.
Thank you so much in a normal voice.
Thank you.
We hope you're all excited to hit up your rang too
with your Patreon picks over the coming year.
I'm very excited.
I'm ready to get some, my,
a peepers on what you think we are,
people should be peeping at.
I already in talks with the patron who comes after our drain already.
And that's great in there.
All good was radiation Daniel.
That's me, that's me.
So there we go guys.
That was a fantastic fun start to 2024.
What better way to do it than with the patrons pick?
But we've got Gavsborough thing coming up.
We've got some Adam Green.
We've got some London East End London Ganks just coming up.
So stay tuned over the next few months.
We've got lots of good stuff coming up.
Thank you.
As always, everybody for listening, supporting, sharing,
liking, being a patron, being a friend.
And thank you to Gav, as always, for joining me on this journey
for 10 years of nonsense that we've been doing.
It's fantastic.
I love it.
Well, I think it's time to say.
Through 8, oh, we could probably go for another 10,000 years
because it's just been a good time.
Oh, yeah, why don't our voices for us?
That'll be brilliant.
We'll be reviewing in Sidious 25.
We've done absolutely.
You don't, I can't remember what is it.
Might be like 300 words or something like that.
It's all it needs, I think, to be able to replicate.
Crazy.
And scary.
Well, in that case, it's time to say our goodnight.
So it's a goodnight from Brian Blesitz, leathernappy.
It's a goodnight from me.
And it's a goodnight from tough in a suitcase.
Give me a little kiss.
Go on.
Yeah, it's a goodnight from that elephant in the window.
It's a fucking elephant in the window.
And of course, it's a goodnight from Timothy Dalton,
up to his elbows in your wooden home.
Oh.
So goodnight, Gav.
Good night.
Take care and remember, if you find a brain, leathernappy,
Brian Blesitz, Brian Blesitz might be under your bed.
I'm a lie!
You lucky things.
You lucky things.
Take care.
Bye-bye.
Thank you for listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill.
We will be back again real soon.
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No tears please.
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