THE PODCAST ON HAUNTED HILL EPISODE 139 – CELL AND RAZOR BLADE SMILE

Episode 139 of THE PODCAST ON HAUNTED HILL is here, and it’s another PATREON PICK!! This time, we’ve had 2 lesser-discussed movies picked for us, namely RAZOR BLADE SMILE (1998) and CELL (2016)!! Elsewhere, we discuss some unusual ANIMAL ATTACK stories in our WORLD OF THE STRANGE segment, and there’s all the usual anecdotes, tangents and nonsense!! So tune in, download, listen, like, comment, and share!! DON’T ANSWER THAT PHONE!!! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@DeadboltFilms

The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.

I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.

I saw this when I come.

Be one of us.

I didn't tell you my name.

Hang up.

I didn't tell you my name.

No, I didn't.

I'll try to.

Come on.

It is time to keep your opine.

Hello and welcome to the podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 130.

39.

No, I did it that way so you could come in with me.

Hello.

I didn't mean it that way.

Hi, welcome listeners.

If it's your first time, Dan and I talk shit.

I'm Gav.

I'm Dan.

Gav is vagina hero.

I am.

That's an anagram of my name is the vagina hero.

Crazy as it is.

It's the only anagram made for my name.

Weird.

True.

It's wonderful.

Absolutely wonderful.

How are you?

Well, thank you.

Yes.

We are drifting through so-called summer.

We've still got a bit of heat in the UK, but it's also still a bit wet.

So, you know, it is what it is.

Lots of wet.

But I'm OK and things are OK.

Things are good.

I'm very excited though because it's that time, you know, where we come to our patrons

and we rely on one of our patrons.

I know.

Exciting.

Oh, the movie reviews.

I know.

It's amazing.

And today.

It is none other than...

Come on down.

Oh, Holly.

Come on down.

Holly, Holly.

Join us on this stage.

Here you go.

Here she is.

We could pick you in a box and saw you up like a magician's assistant.

Holly has chosen a couple of movies for us.

One neither of us had heard of.

I've not seen both.

In fact, it was going to say you hadn't seen either of them, which is fantastic.

So, just to cover off what Holly's picked for us, she has chosen "Razerblade Smile",

which from 1998, which would be a very cool band name we discussed, didn't we?

I think so, yeah.

"Razerblade Smile".

I'm surprised it wasn't.

It's kind of a band name that would have been on the Crow soundtrack or something, you know?

You don't know.

There could be a band.

And it probably actually is.

Some of the independent artists now are based, like on Spotify.

Do you think someone's ever changed their names "Razerblade Smile" legally?

No.

No.

Okay, fine.

So, she's chosen "Razerblade Smile" from 1998 and also...

I'm just thinking that all of a sudden Spotify, like, for music is really good.

They should make a Spotify for movies, kind of, sort of.

I don't know how to work.

Yeah.

I guess Prime is like...

I suppose he's the first to freeze stuff.

And that flicks us both, I suppose.

Anyway, sorry.

I'll have to think about that more.

What's the other choice?

What's the other choice?

The other movie is "Steeping King" book that was transferred into movie.

Yeah.

Throw in John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson.

And we are talking "Sell" from 2016.

Although it was made in 2014 and there was a bit of a delay on it.

We'll get into that when we discuss it.

So, this is kind of "Steeping King's" version, if you will, almost.

Almost 20 of these later, but there's some slightly supernatural elements in there, but also there's some...

AI, sort of technical stuff in there.

Very interesting, and we'll get into that.

So, "Razerblade Smile" from 1998.

We're talking "Razerblade PVC Vampires."

We are in date.

Very sexy.

In fact, it's...

It's the boobs and stuff.

And we're talking John Cusack and Samuel L. Mother.

Mother.

Fucking.

Jack.

Jackson.

Wee!

So, there we go.

That's what we're covering.

So, Holly, we will read out your message in a moment when we get to the review of the movies.

But for now, let's have a catch up.

Because it's our intro.

We like to talk about what we've been watching, what we've been doing.

First thing I want to say, Gave, is...

Happy 50th birthday to hip-hop.

Yeah, happy 50th.

I didn't really know much of this.

I've got to keep seeing things 50th here, hip-hop here and there.

What's going on?

Well, lots of stuff's been going on.

The biggest thing that happened, or one of the biggest things that happened is that in the Dodgers stadium...

Sorry, the Yankee Stadium, not the Dodgers.

They had an eight-hour concert featuring pretty much anybody who's anybody in rap.

And I watched the majority of it.

It's on YouTube.

So, I watched the majority of it.

I skipped some of the artists I don't know, because they have some modern stuff on there that I didn't know.

And Run DMC closed the show and they were phenomenal.

Oh, I've got to say that.

The DMC's voice is going because of his alcohol and drug.

He was addicted to alcohol and pills, which is why...

...do I just add a bit, but they were tearing it up.

They got everybody to hold up their sneakers in the air.

And everybody was on there.

You know, Snoop was on there.

Doug E. Fresh and Snoop did a couple of songs together.

It was just great to see some of the artists on there that they had DJs in between every couple of artists.

The DJ would come on and do 20 minutes of DJing, like DJ Hurricane, DJ Battlecat.

It's just really fun stuff.

The only artists really that weren't on there were some of the very expensive ones, like Eminem, Dre, 50 Cent.

Some of those guys didn't appear on there, but you know, I'd say it was a very good show.

That's a poor show on there, but...

Well, you know, it's about money, isn't it?

But it was more about the old school hip hop.

You know, they had Melly Mall on there.

They had...

...Bram Must Have Flash, Furious 5.

All of those guys performing...

By only Gritwood, I'd love it to have been in order, but then you'd have had it around him to see right at the beginning, really.

So it's great to close the show out with those guys, man.

That was phenomenal.

If you're going to watch any of it, I'd say watch that the last half an hour and just watch Run DMC.

It was so cool.

And that's really what...

It really is.

Just lots of stuff people celebrating hip hop.

You know, it's 50 years old.

It was sometime in August.

It was born, if you will.

And me and you were both big hip hop heads and we love it.

So yeah, I just wanted to mention that, really.

Cool.

Cool.

Yeah, yeah.

I didn't know about it. That's cool. I'll check it out.

I went to Sin Marm watch Meg 2.

Smag 2.

Yeah.

Ben Wheatley with my young son and oldest daughter.

J.C. Stafen.

J.C. Stafen.

And it was... I quite enjoyed it because I was...

Was it everything you wanted it to be?

It was. It was quite a lot of underwalls.

It was quite interesting because it's like...

Like, it's kind of like...

Do you remember that prana when they reboot prana again?

Yeah, prana 3D and 3D.

Yeah, then you get the point where it then goes to the beach or the people towards the end of it.

A bit more when the attack happens.

This kind of happens in this a little bit.

It's a lot of it was really like down in the trench.

It's really actually an exclamation in the under wall really far down.

And basically, Jason Stafe.

J.C. Stafe.

Jason Stafem.

He's down there and they're going a little thingy,

but a little fucking poor little robot machine thing.

They all sit in like some marine fucking...

I know, like a mini sub sort of thing, yeah.

Yeah, there's a few of them.

But they get down to bottom and there's like a whole fucking place down there.

Like a building on the water.

Like, what the fuck is this?

And it's like...

It's some dodgy geezers doing some dodgy geezy stuff.

And Jason Stafe was there.

So, you know, geezers and josephs.

Josephs, they from...

Are you telling me?

You telling me that there's a whole building underneath this ocean?

Yeah.

Essentially, yeah.

And then they're a bit like, "Oh no, they're sitting off her bombs."

Or whatever.

And then, "Oh no, so they set it off and there's a big thing."

And there's a Meg there.

And they actually, they already have a Meg.

They have a small one at the beginning of the field.

We've got one.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Meg's apparently just a thing, I think, in it now.

But it didn't really have any Ben Wheatley fingerprint whatsoever.

It's basically like, you know, you get...

I think it's like...

Um...

Oh, Guillermo del Toro.

What's his name?

Yeah, Guillermo del Toro.

Yeah, what Guillermo.

Um, the way he would do like one for him, one for the studio.

Yeah.

I'm presuming Ben Wheatley's doing one for the studio.

So that'll make him some bit of money, a bit of clout, and then he'll go off and do something

a bit smaller and independent again.

Or he says to them, like, you know...

Like, "I want to do a movie."

And they're like, "Okay, well, do this film."

It's like, maybe it's...

He's got a saint with the universe or whatever.

Do this film.

Or maybe you genuinely want to blow off some steam and have some fun as a film.

Or just want to do Meg too, because I enjoyed the film myself.

I suspect the budget was huge.

They probably threw money at him and said, "Go for it."

And he said...

Yeah, I'm sure it's a good payday and he delivered and he knows what he's doing.

So, yeah, it could just be money, but it might be just for him to go and do something else.

Because I think he's making a horror TV series next.

Yes, he is.

I posted that up in the Facebook group, so I'm excited for that.

Um, talking of a shark...

But if you like Meg 1, you like Meg 2.

Yeah, I wasn't a massive fan of Meg 1, but I am going to be a big fan.

I'm going to be a big fan.

Again, I've got it recorded on my TV because it was on TV a few weeks back, so I'm going to watch Meg 1 again.

And I'll definitely check out Meg 2.

You know I love sharks, you know I do.

And talking of sharks, there is a documentary that's just hit "Shudder" called "Shark's Boitation."

And then, actually today, listen to a podcast with director.

Oh, fantastic. I haven't watched it yet, but I really want to see it.

Um, it basically breaks down all the shark movies, you know, all the crap that I like to watch.

Um, and even some of the good stuff, jewels, etc.

Um, from what I hear, this is all from what I hear.

I haven't watched it yet, but I also hear that for each shark or each type of shark,

they break down whether or not that type of shark.

The science behind it, I think.

You know, could you have a Frankenstein shark?

Could you have a shark exorcist?

Could you have a six-headed shark with Danny Treo fighting it?

Probably not to any of them, but I love shark movies, and someone's gone out and made a shark's Boitation documentary.

So, of course, I'll be checking that out.

I haven't seen it yet. It might be a big part of shit.

But, uh...

Director has just chatted all about those sorts of films.

They're discussing all of the shark nados and all that sort of stuff.

You just discovered a bear.

I thought he didn't have any bear.

Well, I didn't think we did, but my wife just snuck in the room and popped a bear down next to me, so...

I'm glad to see you.

God bless her.

God bless her.

Um, so yeah, shark's Boitation. Got to check that out.

Um, so that was a good segue, as always.

You and I are unified.

Have you been watching anything else?

Um, I was from Sarah weekend.

We watched, uh, randomly. We watched a fugitive.

Uh, with Harrison Ford.

Yeah.

Great. And is that Tommy Lee Jones in that one?

Yeah.

Uh, I was just listening to podcasts about it, and I picked up.

I'll have to then go to a town, sit on Blu-ray, pick it up and watch it.

Uh, we did watch Creepshow 2 again, which are big fans of that film.

Talking of, um...

I wasn't going to bring these up, but I will, because I know you'll love it.

Uh, talking of Harrison Ford and that kind of...

those kind of movies, I've got back into the sort of action movies that were out.

Not, not martial arts, just the more straight action movies that were out a lot in the 90s.

And then I started working my way backwards, and there was a Clint Eastwood.

In other words, there was a dirty Harry season on, um, on one of the channels recently,

and I've got them all to record.

And I've been watching them every, once a week, I've been watching one of the dirty Harrys.

So, man, I am really enjoying these.

I watched the Enforcer, which was so good.

I don't think I've ever seen it before.

The dialogue is ridiculous.

Like, only Clint Eastwood can deliver it.

Like the way he does.

He's such a grumpy kid, but I absolutely love him in it.

I watched Magnum Force as well, and the next one I'm going to be watching is our favourite,

which we covered at the Deadpool.

I'm really looking forward to seeing that one as well.

I watched it Harry way back, because obviously that's the first one.

But it's not as good.

I prefer the sequels, I think.

Yeah, they are all fine.

I've got a Blu-ray box, which is a nice transfer if anyone's interested in picking up.

It's nice.

I was thinking of watching one again recently, but Chuck and I, Neil, project are actually,

because I thought that would be quite good.

Well, I got a little segue there, because last night I was a bit sort of at the Loucend.

I'd written a few bits and bobs up for our episode.

He'd done my research.

And I chucked on Tarantula from 1955.

That's a bit of Clint, isn't it?

It's one of his first movies.

Clint Eastwood, uncredited at the end of that.

And you did it to his face.

He's got a fighter pilot mask on, but he's the guy that blows up the Tarantula at the end,

spoiler alert for a movie that's from 1955.

Yeah, he bombs the Tarantula at the end, and it explodes.

But yeah, I was surprised that Clint was in that as well.

So good on you, Clint, for blowing up that gigantic Tarantula.

Don't say that, Sarah would be...

Oh, sorry Sarah.

Well, unhappy.

Oh, that would be her dream coming through, wouldn't it?

A gigantic Tarantula taking over the world.

Possibly.

She'd be like, "It's mummy."

She'd be like, "Come on."

Go and eat that, King Kong.

It's all a little spider thing, yes.

Anything else you've been up to or watching?

No, I've been making Elle Star Wars films, still.

It's just so frustrating it takes so long.

It's because it isn't a job.

If it was a job and it paid, I could get it done a lot quicker.

It's like this week, for example.

What I...

Last week I was color grading.

I've been color-grained for past two weeks.

Pretty happy of the grade.

And this week I wanted to go back and check it out again.

And I can't this week, I'm too busy.

So I'll check it out next week.

But yeah, it's going really well.

Today I recorded some drums for it.

It is.

Because I've got a friend that goes all round the place.

He goes traveling with a group of people with drums,

plays a glass in Britain.

He goes and does corporate events and all sorts of things.

But he's got a song.

Very tribal, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

He's got a real assortment of drums.

So I sent him the song that I've written with the little drums I did,

which is a little pads here.

Just didn't sound beefy enough.

And he's also...

Yeah, he actually put some money to fund us as well.

You should do a cut just for you and I,

where you use an 808 to do the real hip hop,

sounding drums.

Well, you heard the end song that I had to kind of made up,

didn't I?

Put a drum bit to a snare and stuff.

Because that's turned into a song which it wasn't before.

It's weird.

But yeah, so I did that.

I'm writing some rap lyrics for that as we speak.

Go ahead.

And so I'm going to put his drums over the top because he did the same river and the same tempo.

But they're just...

So it's that real sort of King Kong.

Summing King Kong drums.

Oh shit, son.

So when the stormtroopers end the woods,

you've got his...

Yup.

Even I scored it, I'm going to have to go back to school a little bit and go,

"I'm going to start putting these drums because he did loads of other little filling bits."

So I've got a lot to play with.

So it's cool.

But the story of the film, it's just amazing.

It's like every part of it just looks incredible.

It's just like, "Oh my God, it's so good."

But it's just so slow to make.

I've now listened to the score and can confirm it's fantastic.

And yes, the colour grading is looking good.

It is coming along lovingly and beautifully.

Like a jewel.

And talking of jewels and unseen diamonds.

I found a diamond in the rough.

I've never seen it before.

Zoltan Dracula's dog, the Hound of Dracula.

All A.K.A Dracula's dog from 1977.

I know the name so well.

What country is it? Italy, Spain?

It's actually American production.

But it's filmed in Spain, I believe.

I kind of dig that when you get like American or British productions going into like other language countries to film.

It feels, it's got the feel of the Tomb of the Blind Dead with a bit of hammer sprinkled over the top of it.

It's also got the feel of, and this again is a foreign language production company, but they filmed it in England.

They're living dead at the Manchester Mall.

The way that works makes the film feel so strange.

And it's definitely got that feeling to it.

But it's just, I really enjoyed it.

Oh, it's out there in mine as well.

Because of that, what you just said, it just doesn't seem correct, but it is.

But it works so beautifully.

It's like an Italian movie, but production, but in England.

And that's the same with Dracula's dog, was Zoltan.

It's great and it's cheesy.

Dracula had a dog that comes back to life.

It's a doberman, but the makeup on it is so good, because it's 1977.

The doberman looks great and it's eyes.

And then the doberman starts tracking down one of Dracula's...

ancestors.

So he's called Drake.

He's changed his Dracula.

They changed the name to the Drake's over the years and they moved to America.

And so he comes over to America.

That's one of Dracula's sort of familiar as comes to America with the dogs Zoltan.

And they're hunting down his family.

And of course his family have got a dog.

The dog gets bitten by Zoltan, the hound.

And then suddenly he's got a pack of vampire dogs that follow this doberman around.

And it's just like that kind of animal attack thing mixed with a vampire movie.

Honestly, really recommend it.

If anyone hasn't seen it, it's really good.

And I ended up giving it... get this seven out of ten, which is really high for a cheesy old...

what some might consider crappy.

You know, it's not a vampire movie.

It's more an animal attack movie, but there is some vampire stuff in it.

Just good.

Really enjoyed it.

That's cool. I was... I have to check it out.

I've been meaning to forever.

I've just never seen it anywhere.

I was working at something's house earlier and they got sent Bernard.

And the dog was just very needy leaning against me.

It's so big and heavy.

But I was just stroking in his mouth as well.

And I was just thinking of Koojo.

I've not seen Koojo because I don't feel like I might be bit bit stressed by the child and the dog attacking.

I'm very stressful for him.

If this dog was actually attacking you, that would be nice.

This dog was leaning against me going, "I need attention."

I was like, "Oh my God."

That was heavy.

Yeah, when done right, dogs, especially dogs in horror movies, you know,

I always think of the omen.

Yeah.

You know, and I think of that fucked up dog in...

Fly too.

No, a vision of the body snatches.

Oh, a poor dog.

And then they got a dog in a thing.

And then the dog in Freddy where he's got the upside down human face on it.

Yeah.

The fuck is going on?

Like, "Oh, some good dogs in horror movies."

But yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that was good.

And then the last thing I wanted to mention, the other thing I wanted to say is I finally watched season six of Black Mirror,

which I didn't really like the first episode with some Hayek.

I liked the AI side to it, but I thought that was the weakest episode,

even though it was the most heavily promoted.

I remember the episode.

But I really loved, fuck me, there was one episode which I don't want to spoil.

Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?

But it's about paparazzi.

Yeah.

It's in the horror genre.

But my God, the last two or three episodes are all horror,

especially that final episode which is set in 1977.

Yeah.

Fucking hell, that was an amazing episode.

I really liked the episodes, but a lot of people on Facebook are like, "Oh, it's just sort of red."

We're moaning because they're like, "Where's all the technology?" and stuff.

And they've said that they wanted to kind of get brave for technology a bit.

Yeah, I mean, there was some technology stuff in there, but what Black Mirror has always done is comment on,

it's almost like a warning about what we should be careful about as a society.

So for example, in the paparazzi one, it's saying, you know, and it was set in the 90s, that one,

but it's also saying, you know, we've got to be careful because, you know, these paparazzi,

they follow everyone and look what happened to Princess Diana, et cetera.

So, you know, there's always warnings in them.

And okay, a lot of the Black Mirror episodes in the past have been about using your phone or technology or Facebook,

whatever it is.

But I really like that they went down the horror route for the last two or three episodes of the season.

And it's very just right up my alley.

Absolutely loved it.

A fact, I've watched that paparazzi episode twice now because it blew me away so much that there was a twist at the end.

And I was like, I've got to go back and watch that from the beginning.

So the next day I watched it again.

Loved it.

So yeah, Black Mirror delivers every season, keeps delivering.

And that is like the Twilight Zone for our generation really, or for the younger generation.

It's great, really good, very relatable.

It's got quite obviously a following.

And the new season comes out of and jumps on it now, World War and talks about it.

Yeah.

It's quite hard for Charlie Booker at times.

A bit pressure-wise.

And the director's as well that want to be involved.

And the actors, because you know, you had that one episode that had Josh Hartnett and the guy from...

Breaking Bad.

Breaking Bad.

You know, and that was big names in that one.

You know, and that was another...

Not that you can remember his name.

No, because I never never watched...

Aaron Paul.

That's it, Aaron Paul.

I never watched Breaking Bad.

What do you mean you've never seen Breaking Bad?

I've never seen it.

Look, there's three things I've never seen.

And everyone blows everyone's mind.

Breaking Bad.

Dexter Game of Thrones.

Never watched any of them.

And I probably never will, because everyone tells me I need to.

I never was going for it.

Dexter gave up season five, like I did, Walking Dead.

But Breaking Bad finishes after season five seasons.

Breaking Bad's great.

A dude's got cancer and he's like, "I want the fuck can I do?"

"Oh, I'm really good at fucking chemistry."

Meats one of his fucking students who's just shit in class,

because he's jumping out of a house,

like trying to get away from a man,

who's sleeping with a woman, and he just watches it.

I know, a police raid.

Anyway, just ends up just, what have meant him,

and they just go into business.

And then he turns into this nasty fucking...

I'm the man who knocks.

And the thing is, I feel like I've seen it,

because it's been on so many clips, so many mean skis.

It's super good TV, if you want to watch it.

I don't have the pressure to watch it.

I don't want to watch it.

It is super good TV.

I never watched the Sopranos either.

And that's what I probably would like to go back and watch at some point.

It was the same with the wire.

I was really late to the wire.

The wire ended.

On the same Sopranos.

And about five or six years after the wire ended,

someone lent me the entire box set.

And my god, that was some fucking good television.

And the other one I've never seen,

which again I'm definitely going to watch,

is Sons of Anarchy.

Yeah, I've literally started watching an episode randomly with Sarah.

She came back and she went to Luke and came out and said,

"Why are you watching?"

I was like, "You watch your Sons of Anarchy?"

I said, "Oh, you've seen it?"

She said, "Yeah, I've seen it. It's pretty good."

And I was like, "Oh, okay, I might get into it."

I was just interested.

I dabbled.

Yeah, I am going to watch it.

Weirdly, it's all on Disney Plus, so I'll be checking it out.

Yeah.

And there we go.

Well, there we go.

I think that's everything covered.

So in a moment, we're going to have a trailer for Razorblade Smile.

But as this tradition with our patron picks,

first of all, let me present the crown to Holly.

Here is the patron pick crown.

You are the queen of this episode.

And I'm going to read out her message to us.

So she's very short and sweet.

And thank you, Conde, Holly, up front.

I don't know obviously what gets, hey.

But thank you very much for sending us in your picks.

Yeah, thank you.

We really appreciate that.

And it's honestly, there's no pressure for future patrons to ever write anything long or short.

You can do whatever you want.

You didn't even have to write anything.

But Holly has written us something.

So just a quick chat we had back as before.

As she said, these are the two that I want Razorblade Smile and Cell.

That's the two.

Razorblade Smile is, I'm picking that one because I used to beg my mum to buy it off the internet back when there was dial up on VHS.

And it was such a bad film.

I actually loved it.

Plus I used to love Eileen Daly and absolutely anything.

And I can see as a young person, teenager, boy or girl, why you might like that.

We probably have a few things to say about that.

She also said it was very me at the time.

Big goth wanting to be a vampire cringe.

See, I know it.

I fucking know it.

I called this when I was watching it with Sarah.

She said for Cell, Cell is one I just love.

Many people disagree, but I love the idea of it.

I love the confusion and the panic and I love what the fuck is going on ending.

I'm also a big John Kusak fan.

I wish he would do more horror.

So that's my two.

Also, I apologise to both you and Gav for these and for anyone who listens.

Oh, I don't apologise.

It's fine.

Well, carry on, sorry.

Well, I will, you know, as I've said before to the patrons, if I don't like a film, we'll say it's not into it.

And that is normally me.

But that doesn't mean anything.

Like everybody has their own films.

Like I still love, I still know what you did last summer, people don't like.

I still love Maricor else in Paris, people don't like it.

It's like in love for Paris.

I still like Roland Emmerich Godzilla for 97.

Oh dude, you're talking about like it.

You're talking about my language.

You're talking about Elijah actually said to me, "Kusakotzilla" and I was like, "Yeah, cool, watch one."

He goes, "Oh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh."

And I was like, "Do you mean that?"

Gav, you know that that could be one of our birthday pics for next year.

So bear that in mind, one of us needs to pick that one at some point.

Actually, our 10th year anniversary episode this year.

I know it's my Christmas.

I was thinking we should probably you pick one of your ultimate films,

I pick an ultimate film.

Not necessarily horror, but not like a bloody romantic comedy,

but you could go, if it's got definite, I can tell you what we're doing.

You might not remember it.

In fact, I know you won't remember what we're doing.

But that's because it's our 10 year.

We're doing National Lampoon's Christmas vacation.

And that's great.

Maybe the episode before we do a special though, where you pick something,

I pick something, just to kind of get that in there.

Maybe, maybe.

Like a special birthday episode for both of us.

Yeah.

Do that.

So far.

Anyway.

But back to Holly.

So, and then I messaged her last night.

So thanks for your message, Holly.

I messaged you last night, as you know, because you are a Holly.

And I said to her, to everybody else, I said,

"Hey Holly, we're recording your Patreon special tomorrow night."

And she replied, "I hope you don't hate me for aa

God's back then for me."

You probably didn't need to speak to that whole message,

communicata with you.

She might be like, "That was secrets."

No, no, no.

She doesn't mind.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, no.

Thank you, Holly.

I told her that would be really nice.

She hasn't given any secrets away there.

It's all good.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I wasn't into it.

There you go.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

It's funny because it's a Jake West film.

Friends on Facebook, I am, but I don't, that doesn't mean anything.

He's a Friday first patron.

He goes there quite a lot.

He's actually got a documentary there this year,

which is on Thursday.

I'm off the other Thursday, by the way.

I'm off the Friday first for the opening movie.

That time of year, I'm already...

I know, Super Bowl Flesh.

Joe Lynch, Super Bowl Flesh.

What am I talking about?

The director of Jake West.

Indeed.

Yes, but I do like the film we covered.

Yes, well, we'll get into that when we get into the discussion about the film.

But before we do all of that, here is a trailer for 1998's Razor Blade Smile.

Razor Blade Smile.

That's me trying to...

Welcome Razor Blade Smile to the stage.

We are Razor Blade Smile!

And here's a trailer.

(GUNSHOTS)

[explosion]

(music)

(screaming)

(music)

(music)

(music)

(music)

(music)

Okay, so razor blade smile from 1998.

Yes.

So bear with me, this synopsis is quite long on this one, but I'm going to read it out.

A beautiful 19th century woman named Lilith Silver tries to intervene when her lover is challenged in a duel.

Lilith shoots him, but the bullet has no effect on him and he returns fire, critically wounding her and then kills her lover.

Later, he transforms her into a vampire against her will, and decades later she's now working as a hired assassin,

targeting members of an elite sect called the Illuminati, who are secretly taking over businesses in the city and the government.

Inadvertently, her killing spree attracts the attention and she becomes the target of a Scotland Yard cop named Detective Inspector Price.

See what they did there? Price, Vincent Price, Price.

Lilith finds out later that the head of the Illuminati is none other than Sir Sethan Blake, the vampire who turned her into the monster.

Now she's out for revenge against Sir Sethan and his clan of vampire assassins, all while dodging the nosy Detective Inspector Price.

A brief synopsis, that is not.

Yes. My synopsis is, if a 15 year old teenager, boy or girl, thought up a good PlayStation game in the 90s,

but they were a big fan of manga and the Matrix and PVC, then basically my synopsis is,

Hot PVC Vampire Golf is also an assassin with guns and a samurai sword, throwing some random sex scenes and some slow motion shooting,

and Bob's your uncle finds your aunt.

Yeah, it's a random one. It's a...

Used to be a horror magazine actually in England where you'd get a free DVD, actual free DVD in the case.

Yes. Remember that? Yeah. Do you remember the name of it? I can't remember.

No, what was that? Oh, yeah, I do remember that. It was monthly.

And this was the sort of film you'd get with it. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like a kind of 90s, very late night channel or four movie, possibly.

Maybe. Yeah. What's interesting about this film is it was made in, probably I'm assuming before '98, released in '98, so it maybe took a year or two to make,

the budget was around about 20,000 pounds. So we know what we're dealing with here. However, what's interesting is it really had its finger on the pulse of what was about to become the big thing,

because around about just after this, you had the Matrix in '99, and then you had all your sort of underworld movies, your Resident Evil movies.

So this was very early precursor to all of that in some ways, because it's a lot of hot chick in PBC with samurai swords and guns being a total badass,

saying all the sort of lines that you would expect in an action movie. Chucking the blade. She's a vampire as well. Yeah, blade, all of those.

Like, how do they, you know, I guess they were making this as things like blade were just about to come out.

The director clearly and the right clearly fan of the genre. I mean, it's a manga studios production, so they obviously got some of their budget from manga.

Well, possibly, or from there, it's not very big budget, but I was going to say, when you're saying that, as a filmmaker,

I'm more kudos to them for what they made with 20 grand. Yeah, it's some I'm going to say, but you shouldn't marry a movie on that,

because you just marry it in a movie. That's how it is. Yeah, exactly.

Movies, movies cost millions and be awful. With that knowledge, that is 20 grand. I feel a bit more like, oh, fair enough of you.

Yeah, if I can fair play, you know, yeah. And in fact, when they were when they were starting, you know, the process of making this,

they had the majority of the cast, Eileen Daley plays the main vampire, let us silver. But what's his name?

Bloody hell from Shaun of the Dead. I can't remember his name. Bill Nye. He was in talks to Becast as the main old vampire in this 7 Blake,

pulled out of the last minute, and it went to Christopher Adamson, who is from Judge Dredd, the Stallone Judge Dredd,

and has been in a bunch of other really big Hollywood films. So crazy that he was in this, but some...

OK. Yeah, no, let's let's not beat around the bush. This is low budget, but you know, like you said, kudos to the director.

It's they've done well with the budget they had. And there's some fun to be had on it, but before we get into the gritty of it,

the plot, let's talk about, you know, our suspicions about why Holly chose this, because we both, I think, probably have the same theory here.

I like you guys. I just assume it's a teenager, like, 13 year old or whatever, possibly, you know, seeing it seen like that.

The crow, things like that, and just been like, yeah, I'm just fucking digging this shit.

Exactly. Exactly. And discovering this movie one day down the fucking rental shop or whatever.

And they're just going for it in love with it, you know, it's just, it kind of goes with a certain time and place with certain people and certain things.

Um, I'm, uh, Steve, don't like the film. Not, not my cup of tea. It just, it just sort of dragged a bit and stuff and just.

I agree with you in that. Um, I can see, I see the audience. There's an audience for it.

Well, yeah, in 98, you know, if you're a 15 year old boy or a girl, 46 year old male like myself, it's not, it's not the audience, probably.

But, um, I, so my comparison for this, so I, if I was, again, if I would discover this at the right age, this would definitely be like my comfort blanket, my guilty pleasure.

And actually, you know, there is a movie that I discovered at about the age of about 15, which is terribly low budget.

And, but for some reason, people really love it and people give it credit.

And that's because the director has gone on to do amazing things. But I'm talking about bad taste. Bad taste is a fucking awful film in some ways.

Really low budget.

This is amazing.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But that's, I think that's, this is like Holly's bad taste because this caught her at the right age.

She also begged her mum to rent it for her.

I need a bad taste.

Tea shirt.

And getting your mum's, oh, go on mum, just rent it. Please rent it.

And finally, she caved in and she rented it and then you're at the age where you're sexually awakening as well.

So you've got all this stuff going on and it's badass vampires, you know, with swords.

Plus, like you said, if you're into the crow and all that kind of stuff, Holly said she was a goth.

Maybe still is a little bit of a goth thing as well. Um, then, yeah, I think this is going to catch you at the right age.

And also, there wasn't an awful lot of movies out there for goths, really, you know, other than the crow, dark city and a couple of other stuff.

You have to wait until Blade, The Matrix and a few other movies like Resident Evil and The Underworld movies came out.

So this'll do, you know, there's a little stop gap.

So I totally see why this is something she wanted us to cover.

And I, again, this is a patron pick.

This is up to the patron to tell us what to review.

And if it's a movie that sits with them for whatever reason, you know, I think it was Matthew that chose Hansel and Gretel, a movie I never thought we'd ever cover.

We talked about that.

And it's just like, if it's a movie that sits to do, and I just want to say this to our patrons, either when it's your turn again or when it's your first time, don't be afraid to give us something that means something to you.

You know, I think it's really important.

That's the whole point in the patron pick, you know.

And I'm always giving it to the honest.

I don't like it and I like it.

I really like it, but I fucking know I really like this.

And, you know, it's just to end it.

I enjoyed so. I didn't think I was going to enjoy so.

So, there you go.

Well, this movie, I'm not going to run through the entire plot because, you know, it's well written.

I'll give it that.

There is a plot.

There's a great plot here.

I think what works well, I think Eileen Daly is really watchable for many reasons.

The main vampire.

Not just that, though.

I think that she's oozes.

She oozes sexuality.

I'm not that bad.

But you're right.

Yes.

She is quite sexy, attractive looking lady.

And she's very good with the dialogue.

Some of it is a little bit ham-pisty, but she's very good with all the dialogue she's given.

I like some of the nods, like the chief inspector, detective inspector price, obviously being a nod.

It's been some price.

I do like the whole, the vampires are infiltrating the government.

What's going on with the fact that they could go out in a daylight and they're on photographs?

Yes.

So there is a very cool element to this.

Which is cool.

I don't mind.

You could do anything with vampires.

You don't have, I like actually if, or where also any of these classics, if you actually go, fuck it.

It's not silver bullets, fucking it's bronze bullets.

It's carrots.

It's fucking carrot bullets.

It's dildos.

Anywhere else can be killed by dildos.

From a dildos shot.

Where's that?

It's steamed.

Wow.

Stephen King's dildo bullet.

Staring crit.

Staring wild.

Watch out.

You're so good at all.

You're so good at all.

He's fired off a big black member.

The guy turns back into a human.

This is so good.

I don't even know where we're going with that.

Oh yeah.

So that's one of the things that I think is cool in this is that there is an erasure on and off throughout the movie by the main vampire.

She's sort of like, "Hi, this is my story.

You think you're vampires.

You don't know fuck all about vampires.

Let me explain."

So here and there throughout the movie, she gives you the rules, but the real rules in her world, you know, where it's like, it's all nonsense.

You can see us in the mirror.

We do shop on photos.

We can go out in sunlight.

However, the sun does hurt our eyes.

So we have to wear shades because we do have sensitive eyes.

We drink blood.

That's true.

There's certain facts that are true about it.

Crucifixes work a little bit, but not that much.

And so there's this whole narration on and off where she's like, "Oh, by the way, and it's quite cool, quite funny.

Almost a bit lock stock at times the way she's talking to the audience.

There's definitely some influences from British gangster movies in this as well, I think it's safe to say."

But the plot basically involves the fact that she is a bored vampire, a bit like Highlander.

She's a mortal.

She's bored.

She's been alive for about 100 years.

There's a lot going on.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to become a hit woman.

I'm going to become an assassin.

Shags a boss.

It's not always a shaggy employer.

It's always a problem.

Lots of things can go wrong.

But he's not really a boss.

He's the guy that brings her the jobs.

He's an employee of her.

He's an employee of her.

And he's like, "I told you I would never have sex with you again."

And she's like, "Yeah, but I can just look at you."

And the poor guy, the poor guy guy.

Basically this woman is quite attractive for a man who walks around and has tight clothing.

Men are going to look at and go, "Oh, that's right.

I want my shag in that."

But it's not like men don't need any help in that.

Men would just look at a wall with a hole and go, "Oh, I'll shag that."

But anyway, you know what I'm saying?

They don't need help.

They're already appealing me visually.

That looks great.

They're coming down the old street.

But then she's just encased.

There's a couple of you who don't want it.

I look into my eyes.

I'm a vampire.

It's basically when she gets up in the morning, she's like, "I'm getting late."

"I'm getting late today."

Every day she wakes up, "I'm getting late today."

"I'm getting late today."

Never beat.

So this stuff at the original, there's some originality here.

She's an assassin vampire.

You know, that's cool.

Living amongst humans.

The other thing I like, which is, again, it plays with a vampire.

He's like, "Just don't like Blade then."

Well, no, he kills vampires.

He's half vampire and he's out to kill vampires.

She's in a Saturday.

If you pay her, she's a hitman, yeah.

But the other cool thing is, that plays with a vampire myth is,

she frequents a goth bar full of people who want to be vampires.

So these are people that wear fake teeth and all think that they're vampires

and they discuss vampires.

That's all they do.

Their life is vampires.

And there are these people out there.

Little do they know that Lilith hanging out with them every day,

every night having drinks with them, she is actually a fucking vampire.

So when they're all sort of discussing it, she sat there rolling her eyes thinking,

"Oh, God, you don't know a man who's hanging out with them."

She's being a vampire, yeah.

Yeah, it's cool.

I do like that as well.

She takes one back to her room at one point in Shagzer.

And it's quite funny because she's like, "Oh, you know,

we've got real fangs and joking around and stuff."

And she'll see she has.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a kind of very sexy girl on girl seeing that.

I actually...

It's just for that scene is awful.

I was like, "Have I never ever been like turned on from two women having sex on the camera in front of me?"

I'm just like, "What is going on with these edits of these shots?"

So what the fuck?

Well, before we get into the main plot of it, yeah,

let's just walk through some of the bits and bobs that happen around the main plot line.

So yeah, she does kill the odd person here and there.

There's a photographer, a shithead photographer that turns up.

He's been employed by the detective to come into the vampire bar and take photos of everybody.

Because the detective does think that there's such a thing as vampires.

The guy shows...

He's right, though.

He is right, totally.

He shows the detective.

The photographer shows the detective the photos.

And everyone's up on there and that's fine.

But Lillith thinks, "I better take care of this loose end."

So she goes back to the photographer's house with him for a private shoot, he thinks.

And she ends up killing him.

So sorry about that.

It's a bit of a twat when he comes into a club, like I did think.

Like when you're a certain thing, because I used to...

I lost my virginity to a golf.

So there we go.

So I used to hang around with, you know, golf, like, "J'erfang's no, don't think so."

Goughs and things like that.

But I would see them as they'd get ridiculed because we'd be skating, hanging out, and

they'd be there as well, kind of getting ridiculed.

And so, "Oh, look at you, go some sunshine," or whatever, all that shit.

And I thought it was a bit rude when this photographer comes in.

He's just belating this.

"No, I'm taking photos for this thing where basically I'm depicting people who think they're vampires."

He's obviously going to give, like, do a bad write-up and say, "These bunch of dickheads in there."

You know, the way he says it.

And she's just like, "Oh, let's do it anyway.

Don't do a bad write-up."

She's obviously going to do a bad write-up.

But if you're a vampire, that "Oh, do you've been around for so long?"

Why are you not wise enough to just notice that this dickhead is going to do a bad write-up?

But anyway, regardless of that, he's not even doing the write-up.

Is he getting the snap shots for the detective?

Yeah, it's all for the detective.

So the main plot line is that this detective is after Lilith.

He doesn't know it's Lilith.

He's after whoever this assassin is.

It's going around killing people who are part of this Illuminati.

They wear a ring with an eye on it.

And this Illuminati are actually a bunch of vampires that have infiltrated the government and other high powers, sort of society.

And she's been hired to go off and kill them all.

She doesn't know that, though.

She doesn't know that, no.

So we get a scene where the guy's in the bath.

He's got a little flannel over his mouth.

It is a little bit kill-less thing.

But the funny thing is the punch line is, and I'll cut to the chase, really, is.

So at the very opening scene, a hundred odd years ago, we see her become a vampire because her husband or her lover was killed in a jule, a pistol jule.

And the guy that killed her husband shot her, but then a bit of her brought her back to life.

Turns out he was a vampire.

The punch line is, is that the head of the Illuminati, the head of the police force in Scotland Yard, is that a vampire, Sethan Blake.

And it transpires that this whole movie, the last 60 years of her life, of her being an assassin, has all been just a little bit of foreplay.

Because at the very end, she's got about to kill him because it's clearly like, you know, you're the one behind all of this, Sethan.

You've driven all of this.

You're the one that wants me dead, and he's like, "Yeah, but don't you want me dead?"

And they're about to kill each other, and then they kiss, and then they obviously go off to fuck.

And it's basically been foreplay for about 50 or 60 years, because they're so bored.

They're a more tall.

Sethan's not role-playing.

For 50 years, Gaff.

Role-playing vampires.

No, no, they are vampires.

Yeah, but they're vampires doing role-playing.

Like they're a bored couple, and want to spice up their sex life.

Exactly.

So they're going to bring like this whole elaborate fucking thing and kill people in between.

So she's been eating loads of people around London.

He's been getting people, loads of cute people killed.

She's been fucking away through half of the golf bar.

And yeah, it's all because they wanted a bit of a spark back in their relationship, which they got at the very end.

I did think that was a bit weird.

But again, I didn't see it coming.

So I'm going to get a glass of little tick.

I'll have a tick from it, because I didn't see it coming.

So what I liked about this, I think, let's talk about what we didn't like, and then let's talk about what we did like.

Because I know we normally guys, I know we normally go from bigoted into end, but the plot is, we kind of covered it really.

There's not an awful lot to say.

And this is no disrespect to the movie or to Holly.

It's just, it's that kind of movie, really, where there isn't an awful lot to say.

It's a bit of a cheaper film.

But let's talk about first of all what we didn't like, and then let's talk about what we did like.

So, is there anything that stands out that you didn't really like about this?

Or what's like the worst thing about it, for example?

No, of course, no.

But the honest as well.

The sound effects.

There's a gun battle, and it looked like a rain pore, sort of Robert Rodriguez gun battle of men in suits and stuff.

Is that the one on the rocket?

Yeah, it's like a Ermaer archon crack or something.

The sound effects are actually comical though, and it was a bit of a shame really, because that could have been very easy changed.

And it'd be all well, you know.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It was, it's just not my sort of film.

It went on a little bit too long.

I think it just needed a title in it.

I reckon like, you know, I don't know at the same time, 20 grand.

I'm pretty impressed actually now.

I didn't realise this.

That does impress me a bit.

What about yourself?

So, I think, yeah, I agree, maybe it dragged on a little bit.

I think some of the actors in it weren't great.

Particularly the henchmen, all the henchmen were awful.

They all want to be Vinny Jones.

You know, obviously Lockstalk had not come out not long before this.

And they were all want to be Vinny Joneses.

Yeah.

I would like to have seen some better course and better practical effects.

It wasn't as good as that of light.

And the, I think it was just, they just needed more money really.

I think, yes, it is impressive what they did for 20K.

But you can only do so much.

And I think that's my biggest thing really is, it is very low budget.

And it does unfortunately show.

However, things I did like about it.

I did love Eileen Daly in it.

I think she's brilliant in it.

I liked, I really liked the story.

I thought it was original.

Like I've said, Vampire Assassin.

I liked the elements that she's going and drinking with people who want to be Van Byers.

Not knowing that she secretly is a Van By.

I think that's really cool.

I'm very original.

I thought she was really watchable and incredibly sexy.

And I loved the twist at the end.

As silly as it sounds, it kind of worked for me.

I just thought, well, of course this is all just a bit of foreplay over the last 50 years.

Of course.

So there are things I liked about it.

Honestly, there are.

I didn't like, I haven't got stuff I did like.

But I didn't like the fact that the PCP, no, the PC did PCP.

I actually started calling him PCPCP.

But then on the next scene, didn't look strung out whatsoever.

I looked absolutely normal and I was like, that's such a shame.

I was waiting for him to turn up a bit like, ahh.

So for the listeners, there is a moment where the detective is going to stay cut out.

He tries to stake Lilith and she ends up staking him with his own wooden stake.

And you think it's going to die of his wounds, but he manages to not die of it.

But he's got a great gaping wound in his stomach.

So in order to go off and fight the final battle, he gets some PCP, which has been confiscated

from an earlier crime scene.

Does a bunch of PCP, but yeah, nothing really comes of it.

That would have been awesome to see a cop on PCP just being like, ahh.

Imagine that.

That's what it's hoping for and I like calling him PCPCP.

I thought that was alright as well.

Is there ever been a film where Nicholas Cage does a bunch of coke or PCP and then goes into battle?

Mandy.

Yes, of course, of course.

Mandy's incredible.

There's a scene I did like where they've pulled her in to interrogate her.

one of the detectives is not as like a uh uh believe in all really like what you're saying

to me uh and everyone's like oh he doesn't say it just yet he's just like pulling her

in for whatever reason.

Then just springs on a boat I think her vampire and she's also got it whatever whatever when

he looks away she falls her fangs out to show him.

Loved that bit.

This scene was actually uh fairly well crafted um it was the only scene in the whole film

which maybe like it was more elevated than the others because there was some tension.

And um so uh then it you know um he's then he goes or grabs some stakes and goes towards

the attacker so the other detective has to come in and then it's just like pulls them

out and then comes back and says I'm so sorry you're free to go and she's like yeah fuck

fuck sake you know you can't just bring people in like this as I could see or whatever.

But back and forth that was alright that wasn't a bad episode.

I've seen it as quite tight in a way um with a little bit of tension so I quite enjoyed

that.

I think she's great at it and I think you know she's definitely the best thing in the film

and uh with better budget um tighter editing and maybe even a slightly better script and

surround her with better actors she'd be brilliant in in if this was a bigger budget film um

but yeah you know I'm not gonna I couldn't really recommend this um I wouldn't say this

is like an amazing film but there's definitely bits in it I would like I liked and I would

say if you I just if you just want to check out a low budget vampire film got especially

if you were a goth if you want to be reminded of what it was like when you were a 15 year

old goth this is going to call to you if you watch it.

I was never a goth see so um that's another thing where you know I love the crow I love

the I love the blade and dark city I love those goth elements but I was never a goth

so maybe um it doesn't appeal to me as much as it would someone like Holly I don't know

but um I can't really recommend it however I'm not going to fully slate the film and say

it's awful there's definitely some good elements to it they did well with a budget.

Um I like the uh uh kind of found footage cam called a tape thing going on which is the

uh envelope with the tape on she watches the HS tape and it's the man sort of saying they've

got the money there's uh yeah because I like found footage and it seemed a bit more modern

because funny enough because we know found footage to look like that they all look the same it

kind of pulled that out of the film for a moment.

What I liked actually um it's a very much like a nylation as well so that maybe it's really

good I love a nylation but as a camp they find a cam called a tape of the woman's uh uh

boyfriend.

Have you seen a nylation?

Yeah I haven't funny enough there's an episode of Black Mirror one of my favorite episodes

from season six which involves some VHS tapes um yeah of torture and that episode blew me

away as well.

You still agree with that?

I liked it in this one I thought the tape thing was okay.

Well what I think ultimately what I like about this film ultimately where my

where it gets a big tick from me is it's because of its age because of what it was

because of its influences those influences while I'm watching this remind me of

where we were at in the UK in sort of '97, '98 where we were grasping at new things we were

grasping at vampires.

There's elements even of British horror flicks um British gangster flicks in this but there's

also some sort of Tarantino-y style bits and you can really see what the director was being

influenced by and for that reason alone I like this as a sort of reminder like a trip down memory

lane and where cinema was at around about this time.

Well I do yeah and I do like Jake West's um uh what's it called and dog?

Yes well we should mention Jake West actually so the director Jake West uh did

director Dolce which we've reviewed.

Dolce House yeah I don't mind it except there's no ending it's really weird.

It ends in a shopping trolley but we reviewed it and we loved it we both loved that one.

He's also done evil aliens um and he did the uh a segment in the ABCs of Death as well um

I've never seen evil aliens um but it was on used to be on the horror channel quite a lot

I was just never going to watch in it but yeah so Jake West has done you know he's done stuff

um I would have got to start somewhere I suppose.

But yeah that's that's kind of that's all I've really got to say on this like I said I couldn't

100% really recommend this to you but the good things I'll leave you with are it is a good snapshot

of where we were at of where cinema was at at this time in the 90s and it's all about um Eileen

David yes yes yes he's quite a attractive lady to watch um yeah you know I can't recommend this

I'm afraid um don't know yeah I think what Dan said really if if you're into that sort of thing or

you want to feel of that sort of era then yeah check it out um but yeah for any again the

kudos that's only granted for making it though that's pretty cool word okay well that's really

a great smile I've got uh Mr Bill Murray's just walked in oh I built why are you wearing

the back half of a pantomime horse outfit and where's the front where is the front

and who's in the front is it that I cried oh hang on he's saying it's something to do with animals

all we all will be revealed when we get into world of the strange oh okay we get into world

the strange yeah but you're you're just being the backhand of a donkey or a horse

because that's the bit that's got the penis attached right okay great nice one Bill

okay well let's get into some world of the strange and see what other us going on with this

animal stuff yeah let's do it hi welcome back to world of the strange

world of the strange world of the strange world

thank you Bill Murray for that intro um I understand why he's wearing the back end of a pantomime horse now

um because I have got three animal related stories here animals attack

have um although Bill you could have worn anything could have worn a gorilla outfit

could have worn anything and that's what you've chosen to wear but that's up to you

you are Bill Murray you do what you do don't know we actually have a penis attached to him

the pantomime horses do they well I think these glued that on that's just a big old deal though

isn't it look at it it's terrible it's flopping on the wind like that in the wind

well there's three animals here um one of them you would expect to attack but the other two I

don't think you'll you'll be expecting so I'll start off with the shark shall I all right shark

attacks so here's the the headline a brother dies into the water and fights off a nine foot long

shark to free his sister from its teeth oh nice was it a great white it was a great white in Florida

so what do you do a 17 year old girl suffered a shark attack in a Florida beach but it's alive

today thanks to her brother's quick actions okay she was just in the waters about five foot deep

in uh just off Kenton beach or Keaton beach sorry when a shark bit her and as we know when they

bike out they don't let go no they're hungry no hungry boys she said the next thing you knew

something latched onto my leg and I was like well this doesn't seem right then I looked down and

it was a great big shark that's a bit scary but I don't know your mind might not actually kind of

realized really at the time you'd probably go it's a bad thing but I don't know if you'd really take

it all in at that moment you'd probably going to shock later on you know now not to say anything

about people from Florida but there is like a bit of a stereotype about people from Florida

so I don't know if any violence is often Florida but but they're they're pretty um hardcore they

they don't mess about you know nothing that's fairly known around the world nothing phases them

so her next the next comment is she says I remembered watching an animal planet episode that said you

were supposed to punch a shark in the nose I thought ah I'll just punch this shark however I

couldn't lean around enough to punch it in the nose and it bit me further as I did that

so her first instinct was I'd better punch this shark actually because I've read that it's

probably getting a better grip as well so um she tried to pull it off her leg with her bare hands

but obviously again it's a great way of shark his nine foot tall

not at all it's not talking along walking along right I'm a shark that'd be scary I wouldn't

it back it out massive big massive cuckly shark coming at you in Florida even scarier you're in

Florida girl man I love Florida and then you like he says I've come to fucking eat you all

um anyway her brother Rhett said he saw some blood in the water and thought something's going on there

I better jump in and help him hmm could have been anything it was a shark that's how much he loves

his sister so he said he saw a ball back up and it saw blood flying out the water then he saw the

shark attached to her leg and he thought damn it I've got to go in so he swam over he grabbed her

he pushed the shark he punched the shark the shark kept coming at him sort of hitting into him with

his head all the while holding onto his sister so he managed to punch the shark enough times that

he started to let her go he pulled his sister out of the shark's mouth kicked the shark a couple of

times for good measure this guy is pretty hardcore and then swam backwards taking a sister with him

the shark didn't come after him I'm not surprised it was probably afraid

order up on the boat and port called another boat over nearby where they made a tourniquet out of

boat rope and yeah she's alive today to tell the tale she has lost part of her leg though the bottom

half of her leg but it's not enough that she can't have a prosthetic and potentially still walk around

on it so thank god for her brother because if it had been a different bite she would have lost

too much blood and died so yeah that's the first I think I feel like the headline should have been

Florida man punch shark that would have been a better headline yeah but yeah there we go so

there's your first animal attack what would you want to be thinking that one bill no done away

at that one guy i feel it's very brave of the young lad and well done him jumping in 17 years old

as well wind when i was 17 i would i was afraid to sort of i don't know my kids would defend each

each of them they have before they have defense not to not to shark so it's going to say cockney sharks

they're cockney sharks in Florida back here i'll come

well on to the next story so i said to you that the first one was going to be you know obvious

the second animal attack not so obvious rabbit although jubil although it is known if you know

enough about animals you know that this is one of the biggest killers screw in on the planet right

hippo that doesn't surprise me though hippo have you seen the mouth and jewels of a hippo let me

tell you it's like some scary prehistoric stuff almost here's the headline what do they do what

do they do here's the headline hippo swallows a two-year-old boy hole in Uganda and then vomits

him back up oh does it do it happen to the kid he's all right wow i knew like this one has he got

a story for the pie tell him what happened when you were two oh yeah one of my first memories

actually is being inside a hippo i wonder if you will ever have like some sort of flashback oh god

when he's in a dark wet place oh

so the toddler was playing near his home on the shores of a lake in katwe kapatoro

which is the town where he lived in Uganda when the hungry hungry hippo

grabbed him with his huge jewels if he did it like that as well i pulled a red round

in a miracle the two-year-old boy survived after being gulped down by the rogue hippopotamus

the hippo spit the toddler back out after an onlooker started throwing stones at the animal

which made it vomit i don't think it's probably the stones i think it's probably more likely that

it was a two-year-old boy which is and my children are too they're quite big trying to swallow that

they probably realize oh i can't actually swallow this i'm gonna have to be sick yeah

how shocking of the parents or feel like the baby's here

yeah you take your eyes up in for one moment and the hippos come along and swallow them whole

and what is what is the purpose of hippos eh i know there's no real purpose for a lot of animals

really but what elephants elephants are kind of cool they seem all right quite quite with the

episode so far what is the point in the hippo but what is the point in the hippo they kind of just

hang out in the mud they don't really reveal themselves until they want to eat a two-year-old

so hippopotamus is i believe latin for river horse um but i couldn't tell you what the point

in the hippo is it's definitely not river horse so is it but they can run really fast

they're really really fast which is why they're one of the biggest killers on the planet

hippo racing yep i want to see that now okay

rhinos rhinos i don't know they got the spot don't they

spikes

horns it's not a triceratops rhinos have got the horns though and they they've got

like there's no real purpose there but they've got their place in the safari

what's their place just doing a safari it's there they've got elephants lines and then you've got

the rhinos they've got their place that horn yeah but they get but without horn they get in trouble

because the poachers want that horn then the ivory poachers yeah but if you know that rhinos

reward you of that thing about to like penetrate you that would be just bad well that depends

what's scary that'd be that's got this place but hippo and then that is a scary animal too

but what is it what's going on with that i don't know that's maybe a subject for another time but

let's get into the story of this one the toddler the toddler is playing near a time when the shores

of a lake in december and the hungry hippo grabbed him with its huge jaws before the animal could

swallow him whole by stand-to-began for him rocks it this caused it to vomit the boy back up so the

police identified the toddler as eager pool and said the animal had granted from by the head

oh god and they swallowed him down whole they said the boy has sustained injuries on one of his hands

that's all and was sent to the hospital for further treatment the victim was immediately rushed to

treatment at clinic for the injury on his hand later went to hospital for further treatment

but he's now fully recovered him in discharge and he had to have a vaccine for rabies not fucking

surprise hippo apparently might have had rabies so a rabid a rabid hippo yeah that's probably why

you know it's probably not common as as you've brought up in a story is um you know cake gave you

these didn't she sorry yes i should say cake pollock uh go and check out um cake pollock show um

thank you for these cake um i like animal ones i know it's more i just thought yeah she she gave

us the shark in the hippo but she didn't give me the third one um but yeah thank you to cake so much i

very very well done gab for that credit yeah it's fucking hell that's gnarly isn't it uh eternal

darkness of the not so spotless mind is her show that she does very good go listen to it um

yes have you ever sat on the hungry hippo you know the hungry hippo game if you ever

has done a sit on ones no that says awesome that's amazing so when you come down my way i'll take

you to an arcade where you can actually sit on it and do it like that and it's a massive head

well the last part of this one is hippos despite being herbivores which as we know means vegetarian

can be extremely aggressive when threatened or when they feel threatened they've been

observed charging and attacking boats and canoes and a few months ago three lions were attempting

to cross the river in botswana where an angry hippo decided that's lunch and killed them all

oh yeah lion oh i i i i i take it all back hippo's got a place there's many foot mo lots of footage

on youtube of incidents according to uh az animals there are around 500 deaths a year

of humans being killed by hippos in africa so like i said they are one of the biggest killers on the

planet out of most animals obviously mosquitoes kill a lot of humans because of malaria but

polar bears are up there and hippopotamuses just the sheer amount they are classed as one of the

world's deadliest animals so that is their place gaff when the creator was making hippos and his

helper went what the fuck this big fat sort of horse but not giant mate what's it gonna do and

the creator just says well gonna make it one of the deadliest animals on the planet hip hop up us

hippo-pottabas hippo-pottabas so there we go we gone from sharks to hippos who would win

charcoal hippo hippo yeah that jaw is big i reckon the hippo would win if it has what comes down to

did you say the leopets they killed leopets or toggles lions like fucking lions are bad boys

aren't i i know i feel the jungle no match for hippo um the last animal gaff in my my trilogy of

animal attacks here's the headline you ready for the headline go i felt a bite on my butt

so then i realized the otters were working together against me otters

was he was he dangerously close to a nest or their dam it's a lady a woman in california she's

been attacked by a group of otters while swimming in a river which needed her to be rushed to hospital

for treatment well they weren't thinking dinner though were they they were probably attacking

because she was close to like some babies or something yeah probably uh the attack occurred

in feather river lovely name feather river with two river otters decided to attack her bottom

maybe it's just sexy ors maybe they're like hmm i'll take a bite out of that maybe like carry on otters

um she says i felt a bite on my bottom i looked rained i thought have i sat on a sharp rock

then i realized there was an otter and then two

they continued attacking her biting her all over her legs her bottom and then a third one popped

up in front of me he said i like velociraptors oh my god you just seen a water going kill if you

go from one just appears in front of you she said slowly just comes up with his eyes just had the

war and staring at you she said i was very disorientated because i was i was half under the

water trying to contain my maintain my breathing but i was being savaged by these two otters when

the third one appeared and i couldn't i couldn't understand what i was looking at because otters

are such cute furry little creatures it's just something just didn't add up to me what you reckon

the mouse spell is like inch and a half i don't know but they've got really sharp teeth because

they bite through wood don't they fuck yeah those teeth would be really not beavers but they still

they got very sharp teeth for ready for flesh the evolution of them is to take over human

she said it seemed planned and orchestrated see see they're fucking gonna take over

and they didn't stop biting me until i clawed my way out of the water once i got onto the river bank

they all stared at me see and then swam back off to wherever they'd come from we need to train

hippopotamuses to come and take them out they're gonna take over the world river otters can grow up

to four feet long with a third of their body length being made up of their strong muscular

tail which they can use to knock you over because they've got these big paddle tails haven't they

just spin around like a low flying sort of low 360 kick as you go down they just nibble at your face

she said they looked exactly as you would expect they were really cute they weren't

bearing their teeth or anything until they said they attack they seem so organized it was like

they were working together in that case i actually do think they were thinking food i don't know it's

bit weird isn't it yeah like do you wouldn't need that many to do like that especially one

coming up there so how they could get rid of it the plan is to go circle or circle her

unless it's to take her down well i think you might have a good theory because apparently

there was an attack two days before a hundred miles away where three otters attacked another person

leaving them with 15 bites on their legs i wonder if they got a rabies check or there's like some

fucking human blood's been tasted where otters where otters they're otter where otter

um it's very rare for them to attack humans but there have been two in quick succession

basically don't go near otters um don't stroke them they're not cute you know they look cute but

they will defend themselves and they will fuck you up so there we go guys thanks very much again

to Kate for the shark in the hippo and i came up with the otter one all on my own thanks okay

in the news yeah pretty crazy stuff there um who would you like to who would you want to fight

out of all of those the shark three otters or a hippo well i can't all of them and whoever you

fight the other ones are helping you can you have fall to apparatus so you can breathe yes

so whichever one you are fighting against the other two will help you wow

all of that's kind of all right uh easy easy so you've got to fight the otters and you've got

the shark and hippo on my side back and forwards me like literally they're not my nuts i'm sorry

i'm picturing you like john you know hally berry in uh john wick okay just got the dogs i'm picturing

you manon along and you've got a shark on a skateboard yeah and then you've got and then you've got

the hippo next year you're like get them get them my first skateboard i'm really i can't find it i'm

just hoping i'll find one day it was called the land shark how yeah and it's a shark on a skateboard

that's the picture with one of those bubble bubble were uh tail bubbles you know for stopping um i

don't find one of them boards again but yeah that's so funny you say that there we go well bale what do

you think dropping anything you want to talk to that oh i can see it's fallen off it's still

those fallen off go i wonder what that sound was all right well i think that's everything from

one of the strange we're doing good doing right let's get out of here bale take us out that's all

the time we've got for this week i'm where it was strange next week though gimme iron hairless pets

weird do not withhold your mercy from us alone

will your love and your truth protect us

for he relies on the dead dust of the earth

hi dad hey buddy

are you coming home yeah soon

hey i go right back there i think i think what do you guys think that is they may be the next

stage in human evolution what's happening now is more than temporary anarchy i think it's the

start of a war no we're going to survive people are going to have to put a side there

sensibilities if they can't they're going to die i want to see my son i want to wipe them out

fella you okay

good always conquer

sell from 2016 when a mysterious cell phone signal causes apocalyptic chaos an artist is determined

to reunite with his young son in new england because he's a dick of a father that bit wasn't

in the archive just added it yeah so i read this back when it came out in 2006 i'm not

um i've quite got the finger on my finger on the pulse of what's up and new with books but

occasionally i do read new books and somebody what read this the year it came out and said to me

you're going to like this so much if you're a Stephen King fan it's a Stephen King zombie film

a zombie book i read it i absolutely loved it i devoured it it was great if you are in the pun

and it's not often i do that you know with books i do love i used to love reading but when i had time

so i was so excited when i heard that they were going to be making a movie of this and

especially when for a while um Eli Roth was attached and i was thinking oh this could be great

however there was some weird stuff about it because it was actually they finished shooting it in 2014

he's just been making thanksgiving yes i don't know that's weird isn't it yeah well i'm glad he's

actually doing some horror again um yeah he uh this so this was completed in 2014 and

and it sat there and it sat there and it sat there and we were thinking is this film ever going to

come out there's no trailers there's nothing going on about it it was scheduled to be shown at fright

fest in london um and then it was just removed from the the schedule for no reason no reason was

given and it was replaced by a film called pandemic what was going on there wasn't no

even being interviewed john kusack said me and Stephen king no fuck all about what's going on with

this sam and el jackson has no idea we made the movie two years ago i've no idea why they're sitting

on it and we saw to this day don't really know why it took so long for it to be released so it was

released in 2016 boom even though it's made a couple years before and that does happen sometimes

you know sometimes films are made and they they get sat on for a while i'm wondering if it was to

do with them thinking how do we market this because it's it's a horror it's Stephen king but it's also

not but it's also a bit weird how do we market this who's going to go and see this it's a bit of a

it's a strange one because they're both bankable stars yeah john kusack has been in

staking well they've both held movies down alone and that's easily you know i don't know it's

strange one right isn't it if you slap Stephen king across a movie poster or if you put john

kusack or especially sam and el jackson on a movie poster so it's very odd that it took so long

for it to come out i can't tell you really what it was there's not really any information out there

that says why it took so long it just took a long time there we go now the last thing i'll say is

the book obviously is is better than the film but only in that in a book there's always the case

you can go into a lot more detail and be a lot more crazier you know and there's a lot more crazier

stuff in the book like in the book they could levitate and almost fly the sort of the infected

but in a book that kind of works that wouldn't have worked on the screen i don't think it would

have looked weird and silly so i'm glad in some ways that they they did what they did with the film

so that's so that's so i liked it when it came out and this is probably the third time i've watched

it and i still like it i i always love a survival apocalyptic survival you know people are traveling

from one end of the country to the other and they're having to come across all these weird

things that are happening infected or whatever you want to call them that's my take on it you

Gavin pajina here that you are you've never seen this before no i had started but i turned it off

for some reason i'm not sure why maybe just in maybe it was like uh to know for you said to me

you thought it was too hectic too much and you weren't in the mood for it because of the airport

scene at the very beginning i think i just wasn't in the mood for him i've no i've no developed

the sense of in this age now where i've just realized sundays i'm just not in the mood and actually my

mood can quite often uh you know read the movie in in a certain way yeah um so um yeah i think

that was then but i didn't mind this the other day the end ends fucking a load of shit the end

ends frustrating as hell there is no end and sort of thing where it's just we get to it but um

yeah i didn't mind it it seems to be though a case of three people with time walking

and it's over and it's always Sam Jackson and John kusac and someone else then they die

then it's Sam Q Sam Qz John kusac Sam Jackson and another person and that person dies and this

keeps repeating i was like what is going on you don't want to be hanging out with these

so do you but it's just like why can't we change this formula it's a little bit uh

could we get maybe another character so there's four at once i don't know you know it's a bit weird

couple of things from the book as well as the levitating in the book not that it matters but in

the book the races were reversed so Sam and old jackson's character was white and john kusac was

black and in the book as well um Sam and old jackson's character is actually gay um but he did say

disappointingly i'll never kiss a man on screen which is fine but also i felt like that was slightly

there's more to that comment he made when he had signed on but anyway that's by the by um i think

it's got great actors in it obviously it's got those two in it but i do like the the girl that plays

alice as well i think she's she's good um and we've got stacey keach in this which we'll get to

which is always good to see um we love a bit of stacey keach yeah so should we get into it should

we get into the zombie-infectedness of it infected away go it plays like a black mirror

episode in some ways which is funny that we've been talking about that because i've had knowledge

in horror yeah so it's cool cool idea um a cell phone signal goes out essentially anyone on the phone

at the time is instantly transformed into a rage-filled murder-a-spicious

this opening's got a kind of world war z kind of uh uh whiteness to it because it'd be in an airport

yeah it feels quite epic i think what they do is they shoot the opening scene

and then it cuts and it becomes much um much more sort of what's the word i'm looking for

the rest of the movie is shot in a bit more intimate

style does that make sense yeah yeah close even though they're even though they're out and about

walking yes it's tight yeah whereas this opening scene you're right it's much bigger grander

yeah i see what you mean about the world war z thing yeah just because when it happens you know

and obviously there these are kind of the 28 days later type zombies they're very much on that and

they look fine you know they actually look fine as zombies um they did their job um

and John Qzak's there hanging out with his uh Nicholas Cage hair and his uh his phone dies on

him while his chances kid in there so he rings on a pay phone um and uh he just talks to his wife

about stuff and she's like i thought it's his ex-wife because the way that you know he's just

ringing to talk to his kid and stuff and she says yeah yeah you haven't been home for a year well

she is his ex-wife really i mean they've been broken up for i mean he's been so he is a graphic

novelist he rules and writes graphic novels and he's said she's at one point says to him i love

you or he says to i love you yeah so they're definitely going through something like i feel

like they're uh that's what i thought originally i was like obviously there's just for the kid but

i don't think it is he's been on the road a long time and he's been all this work and he's been

a right dick yeah he hasn't really been home for for a long time a year or so as it seems his son

you know he speaks to him on the phone but he's out there trying to make his money

you won't go away from not see a kid grow up for one whole year well it's a tale of redemption

then isn't it because once his zombie outbreak occurs you know he then thinks fuck what is important

to me in life my wife and my kid so i now i'm gonna trek from one end of the country together

i love the fact i love the fact it needs a zombie outbreak for him to realize this

yeah what well i it's like it's like shunner the dead he never realized

a lovely girlfriend that he had until there was a zombie outbreak then he thought fuck

a better bit of fight for Liz hadn't i better go in uh yeah look uh yeah so sometimes guv we all

need a zombie outbreak to let us know what's good and nice i i i delve into these thoughts and i

appreciate what either is i'm i'm there i've been there for a while and all of a sudden the mobile

phone signal um starts to fuck people up around him and they all start to just like braid dance

they all start a electro like body popping body popping everyone yeah it's a hip hop on a soundtrack

and it goes you're well good wonder if that would work rak the planet rak the planet rak the planet

rak um but it's pretty cool uh we've not seen this before we've seen some zombies or infected that

are rage fueled um but we've not seen the fruit technology and that leads to them saying oh i

wonder if it's a terrorist attacking things like that because it's done through a phone signal we

don't ever know why it's happened you know it makes sense yeah um and it's cool because it means that

telephones are immediately out of the equation because if you pick up a mobile phone the signal

will immediately affect you um you know so it's not just the people that were on the phone at the

time the signal went out the signal was still out there and if you ever pick up a phone you're

gonna be fucked um so yeah it kind of eliminates mobile phones from from the plot which is great

rich you know face it it'd fuck everyone up wouldn't it especially especially the old teenagers that

have never had not had a phone yeah i don't even know what that would be like

i got i got my first phone when i was 22 23 i would be fine if all of a sudden there's no phone i'd be

okay nothing i mean i'd miss speaking to people i go and go around around

yeah but some people like you live a long way away oh we're doing traveling i send you a letter

oh brilliant let's pitch him coming i've been with you in a week well hello at least uh for if

you were going first class and where i could send you a letter on monday you would get it we don't

we don't get a post in Bristol anymore the the raw mail is so bad that we just don't get a post

anymore if there's no phones they're gonna do that okay so let's say for example so you'd get

it probably Tuesday you could or it might be Wednesday actually because it's Bristol it's a

little further uh reply if it's by Friday i know if you would can meet up and if you go no

oh like it's like it's a what's happened okay all right i'll send every message about that date

in five days time you come back and say no that one five days time so at least six weeks

we should at least have but have a date planned pretty well anyway mobile phones are no longer

in the equation and it's a really cool i i always love the outbreak scenes and it's really cool

for me that it's quite violent Lloyd Kaufman from trauma cameo yeah does his usual face have like

oh my gosh what's going on wow it's a toxic crusader um yeah uh he's got a snow globe that he's

bought for his son John Gusack which comes in handy as a weapon to bludgeon people to death he

just jumps on with no delay and it doesn't ever eat him out in the slightest because he is a graphic

novelist and he kind of draws on very dark um things but he also has been dreaming about this

doesn't he later on before he's been dreaming about this well but not that any of it makes any

sense but yeah yeah Stephen King um yeah him and Sam and i'd act so when he meets him later they're

both just like you know what if this is a us having to fight a bunch of zombies what if i can do it

and they just take on the violence don't they i always do my it's it's a buddy cop black and white

buddy cop scenario going yeah and uh i don't know i was quite happy because i originally thought

Samuel Jackson was probably gonna be bumped off early on i don't know why but i was quite happy to

see he was not yeah um so let's very quickly wiz through this zombie outbreak in the hotel in the

um airport sorry a dog a police dog is eaten by his owner nice a chef comes out with a big knife and

sort of stabbing people brilliant uh john kusack defends himself with his portfolio of work it's

kind of dawned that as well like remake yes it is a bit like that as well that's sort of vibe great

remake that is great remake um eventually he escapes um because he looks up in the sky and two

planes crash into each other and then her start hurtling towards the airport so he legs it down

into the underground where the trains are just as the explosion takes out the majority of the airport

this is where he finds a bunch of survivors on an underground train uh they're all sort of

saying you know what can we do um can we escape can we get this train running up pops tom played

by Samuel Jackson he says i can drive the train because that's my job and some of the people are

like well we don't really think we should go you know for what we hear boston is on fire we don't

think we should go back up there and he says well it's up to you i'm gonna walk the tunnels and i'll

tell you why because in 24 hours this tunnel will be under walked to her because there's nobody if

there really is all that trouble going on there's no one to manually pump the water out and these

tunnels will flood in the next 24 hours so i'm gonna go walk in the tunnels john kusack says sounds

like a great idea i'll come with you anybody want to join us no you get this one guys that's

barber why i don't really want i don't think i that's a good idea and he's like and the junk

it was like good fine don't come it's literally like i don't care i don't know who you are why do i

have any allegiance to you literally don't care that's what i like about this it's a different take

on it uh you know it's a more sort of selfish viewpoint of i'm gonna go here if you don't want

to come with me you just stay here and die he's up to you the thing the thing is with this there

isn't actually anyone you really want to root for john kusack comes across as a

dick there hasn't been over long time he doesn't come across as it doesn't do anything to make us go

he's a great character i don't think they want to i guess it's since dv king's right i don't know

you've read the book but the both of them are is that who's are who's our winner you know excuse me

i think for me samadon jackson is is my sort of almost hero because you're protagonist he's got

like a dark past potentially um but it just seems like equal fitted haven't i so it's really weird

they're basically made to meet each other because even they even say at one point i'm so

glad i met you do you know what this made me think of as it had no end in it in a way it wasn't because

it's not one main proper lead character it seems to be too kind of equal but then i've not

you know what i mean it kind of reminds me of like a season an episode of a season of a show

it just literally feels like one of the episodes or one of the extra long episodes

but just dropped into almost sort of thing i know you've got the beginning of that when it's

off yeah but it doesn't explain it it just happens so it feels like it's something that a story which

is already happening and we're just getting delved into it that's how it felt for me well as i walk

the tunnel with his third guy he's as you pointed out earlier we will see a pattern here of whoever

joins them on their travel travels this guy is brutally murdered by someone just like they

the shining with an axe actually yeah yeah um yeah it's DJ uh liquid it is DJ liquid

brutally murdered with an axe um i love fact he's like oh i'm uh so what who have we got here

a character's name so we got uh jog cues like his clay and send me a jackson's tom so it's like

oh hi i'm clay i oh i'm time oh no they've done it already didn't they and he's like hey and i'm DJ

DJ liquid and then oh okay okay and he's actually fairly realistic they're sort of

okay they don't take the piss but they have to sort of get their mind cut oh it wasn't Dave

yeah okay you look more like a jon to me but that's fine yeah it is wasn't it

there is some stuff and it makes it i don't i didn't mind the film it's kind of like a sort of

movie like how the halloween resurrection i could have probably put on while i do another stuff

um i believe um Stephen King adjusted the book to the screenplay as well so he would have had

obviously helped you know with the input of just making it a little bit more quirky

because when a Stephen King novel or when a Stephen King screenplay is good it's really good

and it's usually good because it's quite quirky and has its own sort of character

and i feel like this has enough randomness in it and enough originality in it

slightly elevated above some of the other movies that we've seen a lot of you know it's it's no

twenty eight days later it's not it's not at all of the dead remake but it's for me it's it's

kind of close it's something different about it um yes okay we'll get to the ending but

the director also did panel more activity too here we go now Todd what's the thing

uh his name is Todd Williams Todd Williams here we go um uh yeah yeah so uh yeah DJ Liquid goes

basically they come out onto a tunnel and they look ahead of him silhouetted about six or seven

small characters quite a small further way obviously in the distance and they're like you know are

they they have to squish discussion are they are they are they good or they they call them they call

them phoners don't they are they phoners or are they non-phoners oh the fact that the zombies were

ever uh so and DJ Liquid goes forward all of a sudden yeah it very much a shining flat oh is

it a call back to shining i'd yeah it would have been odd yeah you know all of a sudden it's Jack

Nooks and come around the corner and acts into um like he does into Fing with Jiggy yeah it's a

- Skimmann.

- Skimmannannannannannannannannannannannannannannannann.

So they climb up, because they're then suddenly chasing.

- So they're not fucked, let's turn around.

Those other characters were bad, so yeah.

- They climb up the subway in Lada and they pop out

on the street and I said to my wife this sound,

the aerates I'm in, there's something terrifying

about that sound.

- It's very funny a days later now as well.

It just feels really hectic.

The camera is,

there's like that got up fairly fast pace

handheld movement to it.

Not too bad actually, I thought it was gonna be worse

than this, and I was actually, it didn't bother me.

It didn't, I didn't notice it,

but I did occasionally notice it a bit movement,

but it didn't enough, so I didn't notice it.

They're like, my problem with that live Tyler film.

- Live Tyler.

- At the house, the people come to the house.

- Oh, the strangers.

- Yeah, I can't watch that film,

'cause who the fuck is that with the camera?

What are you doing?

(laughing)

- Fuck off.

- Well, everything's on fire when they get to street level.

The aerates are going off and they hear noises

but they can't see anybody.

So they make their way back to John Cusack's apartment.

- And they're good duo.

I like to be in my way, and if they really,

that's one scene in that apartment,

whatever it's called, or room, what's that movie called?

- It's in.

- Room two, something.

- Yeah, whatever it's called.

- That's Stephen King.

- That's number.

- Room number.

I like to be now, I think they could duo in this as well.

- Yeah, they work well together.

So they go back to John's apartment

and they're sort of talking, you know,

what's going on, what do we do?

Can I borrow your phone, Samuel Jackson?

Samuel Jackson says, why?

And he says, well, I want to text my son

and I haven't got any battery in my phone.

And I just, you know, do you think it's safe to text?

So he texts his son, but he gets,

all he gets back is a load of sort of nonsense.

And he's like, well, maybe it doesn't work.

And then Samuel Jackson says,

let's put my phone in the freezer

because that'll keep it cooler

and the battery will last longer.

- I got Sarah to check this.

Fact check Sarah did.

And yes, it can be done, but it's probably not advisable.

- Yeah, it's just one of those things.

It was probably back 10, 15 years ago

it was a bit of an urban myth, but I don't know.

I'm not going to put my phone in the freezer.

I'll just charge it overnight.

- And then all of a sudden it's a banger door.

- Banging on the door.

- Door bangers.

- And who is it?

It's Alice, the girl from upstairs.

- The girl from Orphan.

And she says, I've just killed my mother.

How come she's gone back to normality?

- She didn't, she was never a phoneer.

- Oh, her mum was.

She got her mum in self-defense.

- Yes.

- So she's very upset because she's just killed her mum

who tried to kill her.

She's come downstairs.

She said, I can't stay in that apartment anymore.

My mum's up there.

It smells of dead bodies.

- Yeah, it's just come take a shower.

Do you want food, do you want drink?

- And she knows him.

It's nothing dodgy.

She knows if they will ever the same apartment building.

- She probably said hello before.

- And she's seen Samuel L. Jackson and John Keesett,

two older men thinks they seem like they've got their heads.

- Well, she feels safe enough to have a sleep.

And he says rest with me.

But if anything, she's happy there,

'cause he reassures and says,

don't worry, we'll still be here.

- That's why the thing is like walking dead episode or something.

- It's really sweet when she,

she lies on the sofa after a shower

and he says, have it, get some sleep.

We're not going anywhere.

And it's really sweet actually.

They're, you know, he's starting to become,

he's thinking shit, I am a dad.

And this is the chance for me to show

a little bit of parental skills,

look after this girl.

So he does.

And Samuel L. Jackson is just like a guy.

So.

- Yeah, I can see where you're kind of going about.

But I still think John Keesett is a fucking shit parent.

I don't think he's doing it.

I don't think he's given many,

any thought that he's going like parental is doing that.

I think he's just, he's not an asshole.

He's just.

- Now again, realistically, you know.

- Got some issues.

- You should probably get some sleep.

- Yeah.

- But realistically, if the world turns a shit in 12 hours,

you're going to sit up all night with Samuel and Jackson

drinking whiskey,

discussing what the fuck's going on,

which is what they do.

They drink, they talk about what are we going to do.

I'm going to go and find my family.

Do you want to come with me?

- Well, I don't know if I can also do.

I guess I will.

Okay.

- What do you, what do you, I'd sit there

and I'd just be like,

let's just go through your best movie lines.

I know you don't want to,

but it's a large night on Earth possibly.

Best lines, same other fucker to me.

And just start doing some EKO and all that shit stuff.

I can go for it.

That's what I'd ask him to do.

Then I'd do impressions and I'd get into the vote.

What do you think is of mine impressions?

- Okay.

- Then I'd get him to do impressions of me.

- Brilliant.

That's how you'd spend your last night on Earth.

- And then I'd write each other's impressions of each other,

basically.

- Well, they ask Alice if she wants to go

and she says, "Wherever you're going,

I think I'll come there like good, good,

'cause we should probably all sit together."

So that's great.

That's all good.

- A question is a terrorist attack again.

They have this debate.

There's a phone call from the freezer.

I've never had a phone call from the freezer, have you?

- No, I have not.

But they hang up on it because they think,

well, if we answer that.

- Yeah, it was very wise of them too, actually.

'Cause first of all, my dumb ass self watched her

and what do they say?

(laughing)

- Hello.

- Hi.

I just want to put your loudspeaker.

(laughing)

- Fuck you, no.

So yeah, they hang up on it and it's clearly, you know,

it's probably his wife or someone.

- Well, it's the thing, isn't it?

- No, it's the bad thing.

There's now a zombie montage.

- Yeah, so morning comes,

and we see thousands of infected roaming, like, packs.

Or as Alice says, they're like, "Frocks of birds."

And they kind of follow each other and do the same movements.

So there's definitely like, one mind, like a hive mind,

she says, and there's definitely that happening.

They're like, "Bees, aren't they?"

Somebody says later on, say she keeps,

she says, "They're like bees."

They do leave the flat.

And it's always one of those things.

It's always, I felt like this,

I've been this way, it feels more

28 days later than I'm walking dead.

It feels very 28 days later

when I've got, I sort of moved from one place to the other,

'cause when they found that tower block in London,

and they go up to there with a taxi driver up at the top there,

you feel like you're quite a safe place for a moment.

And I'd be like, "I don't want to go anywhere.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here,

"but you have to go 'cause you can't stay there."

But this has that, very much that feel to it.

With them, it's a safe place, but okay,

we've got to move on again.

- Yeah, so they sneak out of John's,

John, two-sex apartment,

and they're sort of sneaking down the road

and they can see around the corner

a whole bunch of the infected in the,

I think, "Oh, I'll have to hide here."

And then they see a couple on a motorbike

and they think, "Oh God,"

and they sort of signal to them,

"Oh no, no, no, don't, don't, don't."

Too late, the loud motorbike attracts all of the infected

and they get ripped apart.

- Yep.

- Literally torn apart by the infected, so.

Bye-bye to them.

- Bye-bye.

- Bye-bye.

So they then walk for hours and hours and hours.

There is a lot of that here,

it's a bit like a lot of the rings at times.

- Yeah.

- And they see a house that has signs up saying,

"It's my right to bear arms!"

And all these kind of stickers all over the car

in the driveway and they think,

"John Koussaint," very bravely says, "Hmm,

"I'd feel safer if we had a gun.

"Maybe we should go to this house

"and see A, if there's anyone to still in it

"and B, if there's any guns."

And she's like, "Don't do that.

"Why would you do that?"

And he looks at Samuel Lajaksson, he says,

"Are you kidding me?

"A black guy gonna walk up to a house like this.

"We've got tons of guns during an apocalyptic event like this.

"I'm getting killed.

"I'll stay back here, thanks very much,

"with the golf club that I'm holding."

So John Koussaint breaks into the house

and, lo and behold, they find loaded dead bodies

in the basement, it's been a shootout.

But they also find quite a few guns.

- Well, they're girls who commit suicide, haven't they?

- Yes, a couple of girls commit suicide.

So John Koussaint grabs a couple of guns

and when he gets back upstairs, Sammy Jackson

has acquired himself an assault rifle

that was in the house and a load of clips for it

and he's also given Alice a pretty nifty looking gun as well.

So these guys are really talled up though.

So well done to John Koussaint

for pointing them in the direction of this house.

They could have all been killed

if it was the man that was still alive, but he wasn't.

So, yeah, got some guns now.

- Yeah, it's a good call.

They see a little kid on a swing at the back.

- Who's that outside?

I was waiting for one of them to go,

there's a girl in the garden, in the garden, there's a girl.

But it wasn't, it was a boy on a swing.

So they go out and they say, excuse me, young man on the swings.

- Yes. - You okay?

And he's holding a little doggy, isn't he?

- Oh, the doggy's nicely being petted.

- The dog, look, the dog is shaking.

The dog does some great acting.

- Good acting for the dog.

- The dog says, "Get me the fuck off this thing."

You know, it's stroking me.

- The boy looks around and,

where he comes at them, this is on the top thing.

He comes at them and so they shoot him and straight away.

What's that do?

Makes a lot of noise.

- Yeah, but they realize later on.

So just to jump ahead before we get through the chase,

they realize that him, he's signaled them.

But they saw what he saw.

This is where they realized there's a bit of a hive mind

mentality because they've got a,

a configuration of a body snatcher's top tip.

- Yeah, yeah, definitely got that vibe to it as well.

You're right.

And that's, I think that's another reason I like it.

I do really like this one.

- It is very much, invasion of body snatchers,

mixed with 28 days later, mixed with kind of like,

you know, walking dead.

- Yeah, and those are all good things.

So, yeah, well done, Holly, for this,

for getting us to watch this one and review it.

So they, we then get chased through the woods

and they're running and they're running

and then eventually they realize.

- One zombie snaps is ankle.

It's horrible.

- Oh, and he keeps running.

- I didn't like that.

- He keeps running on it, doesn't he?

- Oh.

- But they, again, we don't see this very often.

- They don't.

- They decide. - Fuck it.

- Yeah, they just think, fuck this.

We've all got guns, turn around, take them all out.

And they do take out about a dozen.

- Enough to get going again.

It gives them a breather, I guess.

- And they come to the docks or the edge of a river

and there's a boat.

- And the loads more starting to swarm.

- Yeah, so they all hide underneath the boat

that's upturned.

- Yeah.

- And then there's all some sort of noise

and they all just stop and just leave.

- They just walk back the way they were coming.

It's like a static noise, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- It's a strange noise and it sounds like old dial up.

That sort of squeaky, I can't do the impression,

but you know what I mean.

- I wonder if it's a distance,

I don't know what that sounds like,

'cause they never experienced it.

- Yeah, there might be some younger distance.

- They get a bit exciting, that used to be the sound of

I'm going to go on the internet

and then get there and go, I can go anywhere,

anywhere in the world, I'm sitting again.

I don't know what to type in.

I'll go to the Hotmail.

- You used to have to announce to the whole household,

I'm just going on the internet,

whereas these days we're on it all the time,

we don't sell anybody.

- Yeah, yeah, it works constant.

- We're on it now.

- Yeah.

- I'm just going on the internet.

What for?

Porn.

- It's crazy, isn't it?

- I'm going to play the Sims.

- Just everything, anything you want.

- Mad.

Yeah, so they all go away.

- They think they may be telepathic.

- They all stand, yes, so they all stand together

and they're sort of pulsating,

like a big collection of insects,

almost, they're sort of up and down breathing.

It's all very animalistic.

- You're right.

- It does take away the creep factor

when it has the technology that comes into it

and they do this sort of stuff.

It takes away that fear factor from the chaos of her age.

You know what I mean?

Where do you have those, they're not like that,

they're just for the enraged the whole time.

- And they realize that when the sun starts to go down,

that's when the signal goes out

and they all kind of rest and they recharge almost.

- And music comes out their mouths.

- Yeah, well, we'll come to that in a minute.

- Yeah, so are they all connected?

Are they telepathic?

They discuss these theories.

- Would it be hip-hop or not your mouth?

- Yeah, it would be, I don't know which song it would be,

actually, it'd probably be like, "Can I kick it?"

Yes, you can.

- Well, go for some N-E-O Marconi.

I might do some good, bad n'yung-diz, I think.

- Well, well, well.

- God, imagine that coming out your nail,

that would be brilliant.

- Yeah.

(sings)

- Actually, I'd probably have, if I could pick any song,

I'd probably pick the theme from "Into the Dragon"

by Lela Schiffrin.

- (sings)

(sings)

- Just sleeping with that coming up my concert.

The Alice would be so annoyed.

(sings)

Every time he goes to sleep.

(sings)

It's such a banger, isn't it?

- I've got it on record, man.

- Of course, Lela Schiffrin did.

Going back to what I was talking about earlier,

he did all the-

- Dirty Harry.

- Dirty Harry songs, yeah.

- Apart from what?

- I'm a big Schiffrin, for example.

- He didn't do "Magnum Force", but he did the other ones.

- There is a musical in the house.

- Yes.

- What is a school?

- A great school.

- Okay, great boy.

Stacey Keach.

- Yeah, so he talks about my own phone.

- There's a devil's intercom.

- Yeah, so he's the headmaster of this school.

This school has quite a few boys that have,

it's a boys school that are,

and they've survived an attack,

and they're sort of holed up in the school.

'Cause obviously it's a big boarding school.

They've got loads of food,

probably loads of stuff they can use as weapons,

and Stacey Keach is the headmaster,

so you're probably gonna be doing right

if you've got Stacey Keach.

The only person better than Stacey Keach

would be having old Tom, what's his face?

- Atkins.

- Yeah, he'd be a great headmaster in this situation.

- And is moustache.

- Who would win out of Stacey Keach's moustache

versus Tom Atkins's moustache?

- Tom Atkins.

- 100%.

Don't even know why I asked that question.

- No, not a question, is it?

- So yes, Stacey Keach says to them,

this is what we know about them,

and yes, you're right, they do sleep at night.

Let me show you something.

And where he takes them to the playing field,

doesn't he, he can have the sports field?

- Yeah, it's in the lap of him laying down.

They're all lying down.

- Whole stadium for up.

- And he says, don't go near them.

And he said, "Let's find, let's find, let's watch this."

And he stabs one of them in the leg,

then he stabs them up,

and he says, "I could kill them right now

and they wouldn't do anything."

- I am quite into some of the scenes later on

when I just drive a truck,

kind of really over them.

- Oh, that is so good, so good.

- It's so dry, humour.

It's not, it's played down so well.

- So they explain to them that at night,

they kind of reboot, but the trouble is,

every morning when they wake up again,

they seem to have more, they've evolved slightly,

they've got even more powers or abilities

or whatever it might be that you call it.

So it's almost like every night

they're doing a software update.

That's how the kid, the young kid describes it.

Then they realise, like you said earlier,

that they can hear music.

And the young boy, Johnny, says, no, Jordan,

he says, listen, it's put here to their mouths

and you can hear it.

And it's that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

song, that's, I can't remember what it's called now,

but it's coming out at all of their mouths.

And this is where they realise,

it's linked to the signal, this technology,

and they're all transmitting it in some way.

They're all perhaps using the rest of their brain

because we obviously, as we all know,

we use about 5% of our brains or whatever the figure is.

So this might be what happens if that signal

might have unlocked the rest of it.

And that means they're all in this hive mind state.

They will see what each other can see.

They will transmit this signal to each other.

That's why they're telepathic.

All very Stephen King.

And I love it, I'm here for it.

And I like the fact that they've all got music coming

out of their mouths, it's brilliant.

- Yeah.

- Why not?

It's different, never seen it before.

- No, it's good.

It'd be different if they were like beatboxing or something,

but they're not.

They've actually got music just coming out of their mouths.

- Yeah.

- It's great.

So.

- I wish we could have had their bottoms instead.

- They might be stuff coming out the bottoms.

- Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

- Right, Charlie Brown's mum.

- Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

- Why do they always sound like that on there?

The adults just walk in the room.

- Don't know.

- The kids are having these...

- The kids should have had those talk nonsense.

- The kids are having these eloquent conversations

and then it's like, "Oh, here comes your mum, Charlie."

- Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

- That's what kids think we sound like.

- Yeah.

- Stacy keeps turns.

He's just been waiting basically for a couple of guys

to turn up like these two and he says to them,

"Look, I'll be honest with you.

"I just want to get rid of them all.

"I just want to kill them all.

"Let's kill them all."

And they're like, "Well, how could we do that?"

Well, I've got a truck that we use to spray water

on the pitches to keep the football pitches nice and moist

when it's summer.

We could fill it with gasoline and we could burn them all.

- Yeah.

- And there's no hesitation.

John Kusek, that next scene is John Kusek getting in the car.

- He didn't, he didn't pretty much get,

yeah, he'd drive in a lot.

- He's like, "Let's do it."

And somebody was asking, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

He's like, "Hell yeah."

And they're just drinking whiskey

straight out of the can so like,

this is their oven their best time here, aren't they?

- You think it's gonna lead some trauma surely?

- These two must have been psychos already.

- At one point I get a start, can I?

(buzzer)

- Well, this is the thing, right?

So as an audience member,

the first time you watch this, you think, right, okay,

what they're gonna do, they're gonna drive around

the outside of this football pitch?

No.

They drive straight through it over hundreds of bodies

and you hear that,

(buzzer)

as a crunching over all these bodies.

And you're right, it's like you get stuck

in the mud at one point.

Nothing, he's not moving, you're going anywhere.

And he looks around to Samuel Ojekes

and he says, "Oh, it must be stuck

on someone's head or something."

- Yeah, he's so dry, he panned.

- And he says, "Well then put it in a lower gear."

Like you're supposed to do it, it's icy or muddy.

And he does, and they carry on.

So yeah, they've sprayed the entire field with gasoline

they get to the end.

And of course, if anyone's gonna be firing a flaming arrow

with a tennis ball on the end into this crowd

of asleep zombies, it's gonna be Stacey Keach, of course.

So he fires this arrow and the whole thing goes up.

No, there are probably a dozen or so of them

that stand up and start running around on fire.

That's where John Kusak, Samuel Ojekes,

and Alice come in handy with their shopping.

- Just thought of shooting them.

- Taking them out.

- So this film is fun, it's fun film.

I'm having great time with it.

- I didn't mind it, you know.

- As the fire sort of dies down though,

they all feel something.

What's that, what can you feel?

It feels like rage.

And there's almost like a telepathic wave of rage

from the rest of the zombies around the world

that are infected 'cause they felt this huge amount

of them been wiped out and they feel the rage.

So they're a bit worried

and they say we probably should leave here as soon as possible

because we may have alerted others to where we are.

So there we go.

They all go to sleep, gov.

What do they dream about?

- Man and a red hoodie.

- Oh yes, a man and a red hoodie.

- So they all have the same dream about this guy.

Slightly different dream creature them.

- Yeah, a zombie blowjob, Bunzkin.

- Yeah, well, John Kousak, don't know what's on in his mind

but he's dreaming about zombie blowjobs.

But they all wake up, they all realize they've had a dream

about this creepy guy with a ripped cheek.

- The thing is this movie,

there's no real conclusion to it.

It's just a thing.

It's not actually a very well-written story, really.

The idea.

- Yeah, it's not,

- There's nothing like a major thing.

- It's not executed as well as the book, obviously.

I'm not gonna be that guy, but.

- Yeah, there's definitely, they could have definitely given it

'cause when reading a book,

you kind of like, it's a long process with a film.

It's 90 minutes and you kind of want a solid ending, really.

You want to understand what you've just been through,

the reason why you've just been through it

and it doesn't quite give you that.

It also doesn't quite explain the red hoodie guy

as well as you'd like.

So they're, they're dreaming about this guy.

They call him the king, I think they call him

the internet king or something.

It is what they're all calling him.

And he seems to be the leader of the infected.

Did he come up with the signal?

We don't know, we were never told that.

All we know is he can infiltrate people's dreams.

And we also find out that John Cusack drew this guy

and he's the baddie in one of his novels, graphic novels.

Again, why we don't know?

We don't know why John Cusack is the key to all of this

and why he invented it.

It's, this is where it falls down a bit.

This is where I won't, I'm not going to rush to watch it

again really anytime soon.

It's a weird one.

We get more walking, more looting, they go in shops.

All we know is that the darkness is coming.

We've got to get going.

Red hoodie guys appearing in our dreams.

This is one thing they don't really at all

start discussing more of that, it's his character.

It's my character, I drew it.

Oh okay, next scene we're just kind of,

surely that's a crazy thing.

You're all dreaming of this guy's, he drew this

and we're dreaming it like,

is this some pretty crewish shit going on here?

What's going on?

Well that's the thing, join the watching of it.

I don't really think about it.

It's only when I'm reviewing it back with you

that I'm like picking it apart,

but at the time you just kind of go with it really.

'Cause there's enough cool shit thrown in around it.

When they see a big pile of cell phones

that's been settled fire and it's smoking still.

And then they throw the only cell phone they've got.

It starts ringing and they just throw it

on the pile of smoking phones like nah.

So they make their way further up north.

- They find a cabin bar.

- It starts snowing doesn't it?

- Yeah.

- And yeah, they find a bar.

They go into the bar and there are,

probably a dozen or so people in there

who are non-phoneers and they discuss phoneers

and what a phoneer is and, you know,

they all start getting pissed

and they start doing karaoke.

They're looking for songs with telephone in the title,

Samuel L. Jackson sings.

- I've never seen Samuel Jackson drunk before.

- He starts singing,

♪ Hey there, wait a minute, Mr. Post ♪

♪ But that's not on the jukebox ♪

But what is on the jukebox, Gav?

Do you remember the song?

- No.

♪ You can ring my bed ♪

- Oh yeah, it needs a word.

- And they sing that on karaoke,

they get really drunk.

John Kusak talks to Alice about his wife

and his kid and his regrets

and they all go to sleep

and of course they dream about the red hoodie guy.

Probably giving John Kusak another blowjob

in the toilets.

Now the lady who kind of power phones the bar,

the older lady, she gets up in the middle of the night

half asleep, half dreaming, half awake

and she hears a noise out the front door

and it turns out she gets infected

because they had new power they've evolved now

is that they can say the signal out of their mouths,

they no longer need phones

and they can do the signal

and if you hear the signal

and they whisper in your ear,

you become a phoneer as well.

- Yeah, she basically lets loads of fuckers in.

- Silly lady.

- It's like when they held up at the Winchester, isn't it?

- Yeah, and that's why it opens the door.

What's his name?

I am, you know,

fuck you forays, that guy.

- Yeah.

- Brilliant.

I love our dandons, fuck you forays

and then we just carry on.

By the way, we're both wearing glasses

so we can say fuck you forays.

- It's clear, we are not aist.

- Aist.

- We're not a scientist.

- No, not a scientist in any way.

- So yeah, like you said, she lets a load of them in.

Alice gets hurt, she gets hit in the back of the head

and actually instructs hemorrhaging in her eye

from the head wound and then she dies.

So we've lost Alice now.

- Yep, that's that one down,

we've got to get another one now for the freezing.

- All the while, Red Hoodie is watching them from outside.

So they leave, they walk, they discuss,

you know, they're not just killing anymore,

they are recruiting into their ranks

by using this signal.

So it's more than that,

they're trying to take over the world.

So it's planned, it's like the otters' gav.

It's like the otters' plant biting you on the bottom.

- Bottom otters?

- They meet some people in the woods.

- So there's forever and months again.

- Well, there's a couple of them in the woods

and they are mental.

One of them has been awake for five days.

The guy says he's been awake for five days.

- He's not the favourite actor.

- He is fucking nuts.

- Famous.

- He is so unhinged.

I mean, anyone would be if they'd been awake for five days.

- He's speeded out of his head, isn't he?

- He's so crazy.

And he says, "We kill phone freaks, we're here to kill them."

And I've dreamed about the president of the internet as well.

Yeah, I've dreamed about that guy too.

And basically, there are a couple of rednecks

in the woods and John, who's second seminar,

that's never really got any choice other than sort of,

you know, drawing up with these guys because,

yeah, you know, he says, "I've got a phone

"or trapped and tied up.

"Can I show you it?"

And it's the girl, it's her brother.

And he's got a sack over his head.

And basically, he's like an alarm.

So anytime the phone has come near their camp,

he sort of goes, (imitates car horn)

and sort of lets them know, and they're like,

"Oh shit, there's one nearby."

- Yeah.

- So they're like, so this, again, it's different.

We've not seen this before.

However, it picks up on the fact that John Kusak is nearby

and it starts suddenly talking like his son.

- Yeah, say it, Joe Scunnys.

Don't you sad, obviously, but, you know.

He's going, "Dad, Dad, when are you coming home?

"Dad, when are you coming home?

"Dad, Dad," which is the last thing he said to him

on the phone.

Obviously, John Kusak freaked out.

Takes the sack of his head, blows him away

in front of his sister, which causes her to be upset.

And, yeah, they're compromised now

because the last thing it saw

just before it blew him away was them.

So they all know where they are in the woods.

Well done, John.

- And where there he stops an ice cream truck?

- Yes, they get an ice cream truck,

which is owned by the guy who hasn't slept.

They're driving along and his name's Ray.

He says, "I'd think his son's dead, John Kusak,

"if I'm honest with you."

And he's like, "Well, don't say that.

"I'm gonna try and find him."

He's like, "Look, stop the truck a minute.

"I wanna show you something."

What?

- The truck, so they stop the ice cream truck.

And Ray takes John Kusak off into the woods.

He said, "What's going on?"

He's like, "Look, basically, I'm gonna give you this phone

"and you'll know what to do with it when the time is right,

"but don't ring the number until the time is right.

"I can't give you any more information than that."

What do you mean?

- Yeah, I was hoping this would actually been tied up

better when it actually happens, but...

- Well, hang on a minute, Ray.

What's that around your neck?

Don't worry about that.

Just remember that I've given you a phone

and when the time is right, you've got to ring the number on it.

Okay.

What's that around your neck?

It's a bomb and he explodes his head off.

- Yeah.

- Explodes his own head off.

So John Kusak heads back to the ice cream truck.

Never thought I'd be saying that in a film, would be.

John Kusak heads back to the ice cream truck

and says, "Or Ray's dead.

"He's just blowing his own head off with a bomb.

"Let's get going."

So they arrive at John Kusak's wife's house.

Yeah, it goes in now, obviously, to see if his kids there or not.

He calls out, "Johnnie?

"No answer.

"Johnnie?

"Obviously no answer at all."

Well, that did, before he killed the committee,

suicide in the Blues Nogginoff.

He started saying that he was seeing things

and he's like awake now.

He's having an awakening.

And that's why he decided that he's got an index.

So that he's got to end it and pass the phone over and start.

That's right.

He said, "It's not just in my dreams now."

Yeah, it's in the day's where I'm seeing it as well.

It's not a whole dream, so I'm like day dreaming as well.

So basically going insane, you know.

And that's what's staying up for a week.

We'll do to, you know, what you may have seen in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies.

You can't physically stay up more than about three days without going absolutely mental.

Yeah, I'll go to that.

What's the longest you've ever stayed up?

Three hours.

[LAUGHTER]

Thank you.

Maybe 20... I don't know.

I don't know if I...

I don't know if I...

I don't know if I...

I don't know.

I can't think of why it better wood bin occasions, definitely.

I think probably like two and a half days for me.

Yeah.

Huge cocaine binge.

No, I'm joking.

It was flying either two or from Australia.

Didn't sleep the whole way.

Just couldn't sleep.

Just couldn't sleep.

It was excited.

The way it worked as well with time zones.

And then we landed in Japan and we had like six hours in Japan.

Then got back on the plane and then I got there and our friends met us in Australia.

And we were so excited and we went out for dinner and drinks.

And I was like, "Shit, I haven't slept for like two and a half days."

And I could feel like my body was starting to just shut down.

So I went and like slept for like 12 hours, maybe more straight through.

I woke up feeling like a different person.

It was great.

Yes.

But yeah, well that was a long time without sleep for me.

So yeah, that was only two and a half days.

So you can only imagine what a week would be like.

Anyway, his son Johnny has left a message on the fridge in fridge magnets that says...

Yeah.

Dad, go to Cashwack, which is a place in Canada.

Oh, I don't know.

It's to do with a big phone signal mask, isn't it?

I don't know.

But it's later on, if you're kind of bad for him possibly because they sort of say, "That's fake."

I almost put that there.

Then he goes, "Oh, because I mean myself, if I was going after a lawyer, my son,

I was going back for him.

I'd be gutted because thinking he'd wrote that.

But I'd be like, "Oh, he wrote that."

And then find out that he might be like, "That could be fake."

Yeah.

Oh no.

That'd break my heart.

Because he hears a noise in the attic.

Yeah.

And it becomes quite a creepy moment actually.

No, just right.

I've lost the one in my attic.

Yeah.

Well, he goes up there and he is immediately attacked by the guy in the red hood from his dreams.

Has a bit of a fight with him, ends up killing them, realizes he was his ex-wife or his current wife,

whatever she is, his estranged wife.

Dressed in the red hood, she is a fauna and she was tricking him.

And she probably put that fake fridge magnet message up and he's just killed him.

Yeah.

Then they find out that the ice cream truck isn't full of ice cream, like phantasm.

No, no, no, no.

It's full of C4 enough to sort of blow up an entire block and a lot of explosives in this ice cream truck.

John Koo-Sak says, "I'm going to take the ice cream truck with me and I'm going to go to the source and sort this shit out."

Yeah.

He says to Jordan, the young lad from the school, "You and Samuel Ojaksson, you go your way and I'll catch you back up.

Just spray paint your initials on the, you know, every now and again as you're going along your journey.

And I'll find you.

Don't you worry, I'll find you."

Okay.

Off they go then.

And he drives off now in the ice cream truck and he finds the sour tower, the main sour tower that's got thousands and thousands of phonos walking around in a circle in unison.

Yeah.

Ooh.

It's been creepy.

It's very creepy.

And he thinks, "Well, I need to get to the center."

He just drives through him.

Just drives through him.

He's got no problems with driving through thousands of people, is he?

I love it.

And he's doing it while looking a bit of pay.

But he's not even looking.

He's not concerned the slightest by them.

He's been through a lot of the last couple of days.

He's been there just annoying.

It's like driving through a cloud of flies that's just in front of you.

I don't know what that's like driving actually.

It's just kind of just going, "Fuck it, I don't care."

Because even like sheep in the road, you would stop and wait.

What?

You know.

Beep, beep.

You wouldn't sort of just keep driving through.

You'd be like literally plow and take out a good load of animals.

That'd be just being terrible.

Some ducks crossed the road.

Don't!

Because I had a situation.

I'm not going to say because it was fucking towards us.

I'm not going to say what happened.

Not long after we bought our car, our first car, we went to our buddy Mark, his wedding actually.

On the way back from his wedding in the morning, we went into a service station to get McDonald's.

As we were driving out of it, a squirrel ran underneath the car.

She was driving, she couldn't swear about the way.

We both felt the squirrel.

Then it sort of went flying out to the left, landed in some bushes.

She pulled over and I just said, "You just got a squirrel."

I said, "I know.

I feel really bad."

Anyway, it passed me that big mat.

Then we carried on eating our McDonald's.

We did feel bad, but we were so hungry that...

I'm going to say just very quickly, a good rest for my cat, Fizzy.

I meant to say that in the intro.

Fizzy was sometimes on the podcast mentioned several times.

Back in the early days when we used to record together a lot more, Fizzy would quite often

go either between us or on one of our laps.

Quite often we'd have to pause recording sometimes if Fizzy scratched at the door and wanted to be let in.

Oh, I forgot that.

We used to have to... Oh, hang on a minute.

Sorry, Dan.

Let me just...

Let the cat in.

So rest in peace, Fizzy.

She was how old was she?

About 19 in the end.

Yeah, she was lovely cat.

Really nice.

Really?

I'd say good boys.

It's a hard day.

She's literally saying, say, "Good boys were like, you know, I don't know.

I've been to a good cat."

And then the lid should turn around and walk out and just go, "I've got to leave.

I couldn't stay there for it."

Yeah.

Yeah.

She was very old and not very comfortable.

She wasn't very well in the end, so she's happier now and a happier place now, bless her.

Yeah.

She read all the lymph.

My arm was a mess of data and it was horrible.

Well, she had a bloody good life with you guys.

Yeah, yeah.

I've been thinking about her and I think of the good things.

So...

Often think of her sat next to the microwave.

If you went near a food, she'd hit you occasionally because she was protected to a private food

and that was fine.

Is it your remember in the young fizzy, which I don't remember so well.

So you've got good memories.

You have to sit with me one day and tell me your memories.

So, yeah, rest in peace to fizzy cat, fizzy cat.

Yeah.

Fizzy cat.

Oh.

So back to John Kuzak just plowing through people in his ice cream truck.

Again, a sentence I never thought I'd say, but there we go.

He sees red hoodie in the middle and he's backing into him.

So what does he do, Gav?

Run to mover.

He just drives at him.

He goes flying back into the pole.

He shoots him.

He shoots him.

He blows him away and then he hears Johnny's voice coming from the crowd.

That's his kid.

Yeah.

Dad.

Dad.

So he starts fighting his way through the crowd.

Yeah.

And after a while, he manages to find his son, but sadly his son is afraid.

A son is a boner.

A boner?

A boner.

Right.

Because the signal starts to come out of his mouth and he thinks, "Oh, this is the time

to ring that phone that Roy gave me earlier."

Now, the phone is actually the detonator for the C4 in the ice cream truck.

But yeah, and I didn't know that.

So I suppose that's kind of a twist.

But yeah, then, so he blows up everybody and everything.

And the cell tower and everything.

And that's kind of the end.

And the epilogue we get is him happily walking through the woods.

It can't beat my friends.

Yeah, we're walking along.

I can't wait for you to meet Sammy L. Jackson and all the people that kind of survived this with me.

Oh, look, there's more initials there.

We're getting close to them.

Great.

Dad, where are we going again?

Canada.

So this is what he played in his head as his lany.

So all of these people are laying there and they play in something in their head, which they're living.

Yeah, I think they're all in there.

Because what Gav's referring to there is then we cut back to the crowd of infected just humbling along as one big unit.

And he is one of them.

And he's one of them in there and he's a phone.

But the main thing is he's happy because in his head he's living his best life.

And maybe they're all living their best life and they're happy.

A bit like the Matrix, you know, it's like that.

They're all living their best lives, but actually they're all zombies.

And then they're all singing Liverpool football club anthem, which is...

Liverpool club.

Liverpool club.

Liverpool club.

Which is maybe something to be said as well.

They're in unison.

They're all...

Is there supposed to be a commentary on Celia Fone?

Everyone having a fight?

Not sure.

What is it about?

I think it's just Stephen King trying to terrify you.

It's not terrifying at all.

Well, I mean, the original concept is it loses its way in the third act because Stephen King's ideas in a book don't often translate well to the screen as we know.

Yeah, I just got no conclusion. That's what bugs me.

Yeah, the ending is definitely...

It doesn't make me want to watch the film again.

But it doesn't...

But that's the thing. I enjoy the ride.

Sometimes with films, I enjoy the ride and then the ending is a bit near.

But I enjoyed that. I enjoyed the...

Free some journeys.

I always went along.

Free people, stop.

Free people, stop.

And I agree with you.

This is definitely one that I'll put on in the background.

It's a good one to maybe put on where you're in bed falling asleep.

Not saying it's terrible.

I'm just saying it's...

You don't need...

The ending is probably best if you don't really watch the ending.

If you've already seen this a couple of times.

Yeah.

Because in my head, I want that ending in the woods to be the ending.

Yeah.

You know, I don't want him to be a phone or I want it to be...

A phone.

I want some more answers.

I want to know why Red Hoodie. I want to know why John Kusack.

Well, exactly. There's no explanation of Red Hoodie.

And it's been so long since I read the book that I honestly couldn't tell you.

But we shouldn't have to.

Yeah, exactly.

When you watch this film, make sure you've got a buddy who's read the book who can tell you.

What the fuck's going on at the end?

But overall, I do really like this movie.

You know, it was a long time coming.

There was that two year delay I talked about.

And I wonder what was going on during that two years.

Were they changing? Were they reshooting?

There's no one knows.

So I'd love them to have done something better with it.

Perhaps definitely the last act.

But overall, I'm going to...

And we didn't say this for easily tomorrow.

That's sadly, that's going to be a thumbs down for me.

That's a thumbs down for me.

But for this one, I'm going to give this one a thumbs up and say,

if you've never seen it, check it out.

It's definitely worth a couple of watches, even if you've seen it once,

a couple of years later, if you turn over the horror channel and it's on,

I'll watch it.

You know, it's...

I'll give it a thumbs up and I'll recommend it.

And if you're a fan of some Janks or John Kusack or both,

then, yes, probably watch it.

I think you summed it up well by...

By saying, it's a good cross between the vision of the body slatchers

20 days later, but like a sprinkling of survival stuff, like walking dead.

However, there are some flaws in it, particularly if they're an act.

But there's enough good stuff in it that...

There's enough exit and interesting watch.

I can't, Candy, if you just turn your brain off.

Yeah.

You're not getting that good or a conclusion, but maybe you'd have fallen asleep by then.

So, there you go.

So there we go.

So that's Sal.

So, Holly, thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

I really enjoyed discussing those.

I really enjoyed watching parts of Razorblade Smile.

And another chance for me to watch Sal, which I really like.

So, thank you, thank you, thank you, Holly.

Let's do a comeback in a bit.

We're in comeback again.

Yes, goodbye.

Back, back, back again.

Back again.

Renegade Master.

Big boy challenger.

How are the people?

Yeah.

It's been a long time.

Shouldn't have left you without a dope miter step.

Don't start, don't start.

I know, so...

There's already probably just...

We should have done the leprechaun in the hood and in the hood too, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of hip hop.

We should have reviewed them again.

No.

No way.

Fuck that.

Well, yeah, that was episode 139.

That was a...

Patron.

Thanks for coming along.

Yeah, we did record, I think, for that.

We did.

But, yeah, I don't know where that is.

It's not on the timeline.

We'll find it.

I might have to leave it.

But we had a one.

We had ready to use.

So, thank you so much, Holly, for your choices.

Thank you.

I need to take the crime back from you now.

You have been our queen patron for the entire episode.

Holly, Matthews, aka Holly Mitchell, aka your patron name, which is Lex Boo.

So, yeah, brilliant stuff.

Always love our patron picks.

Yes, very much.

Never know what you're going to get.

Appreciate that, Holly.

Thank you.

Until next time.

Until next time.

So, next episode is episode 140, 140.

And we are going to our final destination.

Ah.

We're doing final destination one and two.

So, 2000 and 2003.

So, an old time for horror.

It was just picking up steam again.

There's a good time in some ways.

So, yeah, looking forward to reviewing those.

Good cast, especially in the first one, with Stiffler and a few other people in it.

Some great deaths to talk about.

And we can talk about, you know, how you can just be killed by anything.

Yeah.

Yep.

Big one of those two movies.

Episode 141 after that will be probably the end of a summer really will be celebrating

with some hot, sticky New York 80s horror.

I'm talking about Chud in 1984 and Basket Case from '82.

So, yeah, we'll be getting into some gross low-budget body horror in New York-style shenanigans.

And that means the episode 142 after that will be another patron.

Pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup.

And I'm already in talks with a patron.

I won't say any more than that at the moment.

So, we don't know what that episode is going to be yet, because it's up to them.

Exciting.

That's what's coming up next.

So, final destination one and two, the Enchud and Basket Case followed by a patron pick.

Imagine a movie that was Chud and Basket case and they got together.

Chud case.

And they were fighting private detectives.

You went in the office and Chud was sort of behind the counter with a hat on drinking whiskey.

And the basket was just on the side and it opened up and kids were like, "Let's go.

Let's go do it."

Okay.

Yep.

Chud has to pick up the basket running on his head.

And one episode, basket case says, "Oh, my cousin's coming over.

You might know him.

He's that guy that's attached to the other guy on Total Recall."

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know your cousin.

You know, the little guy that lives on the guy's tummy on the...

Yeah.

Total Recall.

Good luck, buddy.

I haven't seen Basket Case for many years.

I've seen part one, part two and probably part three actually.

Yeah, it's just a weird...

Waking white on the movie.

Yeah.

Especially two and three when you start getting into the group of freaks that he hangs out with.

Well, and Sarah and I watched Chud for the first time two years ago, but on Amazon Prime.

And then...

The ending was fucked up, wasn't it?

The ending fucked up and it just isn't really weird.

And I don't know what happens in the end.

So, interested to find out what happens.

Yeah.

Anyway, high strangeness podcast, which we do do with Sarah, we just covered New York 1970s

and the Son of Sam Killer, if you want to know about all that stuff.

Yeah, the "Birth of Hip Hop and Punk."

Yeah, disco.

The black house, rat invasions, trash strikes and generally just gangs and...

Lots of crime and stuff.

Yeah.

And then as you mentioned in that episode, the '70s then wrapped up nicely with a crack

pandemic in New York.

So, good times.

And the Wall Street boom, yes.

Yeah.

-Cogaine and yuppies. -Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

What a time to be alive in the '70s.

A lot of money in cocaine, we're just going around.

Yeah.

Crazy, crazy.

So, we might talk about some of that when we cover Chud and Basket Case, but obviously we'll

keep it more around the '80s.

Yeah.

What was going on there?

Because New York was a very strange place in the '80s and still is in some ways.

I've been there twice.

Yeah.

And it's an odd...

There's very...

Lots of energy there, a very old vibe, but also a very odd place at the same time.

Met some real characters.

We went there exactly four weeks after 9/11, the first time I went with Robin Dave, who

you know, we're two besties.

And that was a very strange time.

We couldn't cancel our holiday because we would have lost all the money because we didn't

really have the travel insurance for it.

So we ended up still going to New York, but it was empty.

There was no one there.

And ground zero was still smoking.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I took a picture of it and I've got it somewhere.

Everywhere we went, there was pictures of firemen and policemen up on all the buildings.

And any bars we went in and they found out we were English.

They were so pleased that they were tourists because, you know, they'd lost so much money

in those four weeks because no one was going there.

And then when me and Alice got together, I treated her to a holiday in New York.

I mean, I paid for some of it, the flight, but I come into a bit of money basically and

said, you know, I'll take you to New York.

I don't have any money anymore.

So me and her went there about 12 years ago and it was a very different vibe because it

was about to normal and it was full of crazy people.

And guys on the street that I'll talk to you about anything and bars that are open for

24 hours.

And yeah, it was the New York that I dreamed of being going to, you know, it was crazy.

Crazy times.

But yeah, I highly recommend New York.

It's a crazy place.

I wouldn't go back there now though with all the gun problems that the US have got.

Probably be a bit scary because everyone's getting shot every few seconds.

Anyway, enough of my travel plan, scalf.

So before we wrap up, is there any more you want to say?

We've talked about Star Wars Sanctuary Moon.

No, no, nothing really.

Thanks for always for listening and coming along with us.

The journey, thank you, Patrons, all the stuff you give us.

Love, that is.

Love and money.

Yeah, but it's appreciated.

Yes, it really is.

It helps.

Yeah, nothing really.

I'm looking forward to the next episode.

It's always great to chat away nonsense with you.

Yeah, me too.

Final Destination 1 and 2, big fun, doesn't it?

Yeah, I picked it up on Blu-ray.

So interested in the older Transverse, if that looks nice.

I don't think I've ever seen an HD.

Oh no, it came on Netflix once.

So I think I'll probably have actually.

It's been a long time since I've seen the first couple.

I liked them both.

I've found them both.

Yeah, I think after that they go downhill, but they're still fun enough.

The 3.4 and 5 are still fun enough.

3 is not too bad then it goes for.

Yeah, 3's got Mary Elizabeth Windsor at least.

Yeah, 3's good.

That's the one on the fairground, right?

Yeah, I think 4 more.

4 is the NASCAR racing.

5 is the bridge.

5, I don't remember 5 at all.

I definitely seen it, but I don't remember.

The bridge goes downhill.

Okay, cool, cool.

Alright, well, let's do some admin and then we'll get out of here.

So as always, we have been the podcast on one today.

We are a proud member of Legion Podcasts Network.

Go over to legionpodcasts.com to find out more about us and the other shows.

There's plenty of shows there to tickle your fancy, depending on what you're into.

You can also email us at the podcast on Haunted Hill.

Outlook.com.

Not Outlook.com.

And if you jump on Facebook, that's where we're most active.

Legion have their own Facebook page as well, Legion Podcast.

But we do too.

Podcast on Haunted Hill.

You can join our Facebook page and you can chat to us directly.

You can message us directly as well as email us on that email address.

You can suggest things, ask about becoming a patron, whatever it is you want to do.

Or you can just join in with the silliness, the banter that's been going on for almost 10 years now on that Facebook page.

Some really established people on those.

Some good friends we've made.

Some of them I've never met and probably never will, but a little family, a crazy family on Haunted Hill.

Wherever you're listening to us now is where you can continue to listen to us.

Most podcast platforms and catchers, Spotify, YouTube, Podknife Apple and all that stuff.

We aren't really doing Twitter anymore or X as it's called.

Not bothering about that.

So I'm not going to bother with it.

It's called X now.

Yeah.

I had no idea.

I came off Twitter a while ago with it.

Elon Musk.

He said there's not going to be many bots and stuff on there and stuff and all of a sudden,

just like my whole, I used to go there every day to see what was going on and stuff.

And then it all just changed.

And then I had just loads of just like women who've not made clothes on following me.

Well, we've never really had much.

And I never had that before.

Why am I getting all the links?

We've never had much traffic on Twitter anyway.

So we're not really that bothered about it anymore.

So I won't bother reading out our Twitter handle anymore.

We are still on Instagram though.

And I use Instagram really mainly just to promote the show with little collages.

But it's the podcast on Haunted Hill Insta.

If you want to follow us on there.

And then we talked about Star Wars Sanctuary Moon and that's all being done via our little

film making production team family, Deadbolt Films.

There is a website, Deadboltfilms.com.

There is a YouTube channel, which is Deadbolt Films.

And there is an Instagram handle, which is just all one of those Deadbolt Films.

If you are a frequent YouTube user, could you just like literally pop on there and subscribe to the channel and take it?

It won't take a moment.

And that way you'll see when the Star Wars stuff comes out.

Yeah.

You know, you just see a TFP there.

And we won't be like throwing stuff down your throat all the time.

Anyway, if you subscribe.

So.

Yeah.

But it's just funny.

And I'm bad anyway on YouTube if you do.

Because if you go to content, which your subscribe to comes up is like the same much content is easy to go past.

You know what I mean?

It's not like a barrage of just influx, you know, shit.

It's not like Peter Griffin in that one episode where he decided he would complete YouTube.

And he spent five years straight without sleeping, watching everything on YouTube.

Because he was determined to...

But you couldn't anymore.

Brian's like, "Why are you doing that?"

No, you couldn't.

Just because it would be continuous.

I've not seen that episode.

Brian's like, "What's he doing?"

And he's like, "Oh, he's decided he wants to try and complete YouTube and watch everything on YouTube."

And he's just there watching cats playing pianos and, you know, all this, everything that there is on there.

It's just ridiculous amounts of content on there.

And finally, a big thank you to all of our patrons.

Oh, so.

Thank you, patron supporters.

If you want to become a patron supporter and be like Holly, who's super cool, goth chick, who got to run the show for us this episode and pick the movies.

If you want to be like her and become a patron, then just go to patron and search for the podcast on her to do.

If you can't find it, for whatever reason, you should be able to, you can message me directly on Facebook or you can email us at thepodcastonhauntedhill@outlook.com

And I'll guide you there.

We had somebody message me recently, actually, asking about becoming a patron.

And I've directed him there.

So we may have a new patron supporter very soon.

If you become a patron supporter, you will get a free t-shirt posted directly to you wherever you live in the world, in the universe, in fact, I will say.

Unless by some chance we get a Venetian, you know, someone from Venus, join us.

You might be most authentic, you never know.

But you'll get a t-shirt in the choice.

I don't know how much I suppose you should be on that.

Yeah, I don't know.

Mars is a bit cheaper.

I see it here on Musk, just letting it throw it on our spaceship or something.

Eli Musk can take it to Uranus.

You'll get a t-shirt and you will also get free access to exclusive content such as any additional bonus episodes.

We put up a video episode recently of us going ghost hunting and I'll be putting the second one up soon.

Every Friday we put up an old episode weekly, we call it Freaky Friday, so you can catch the earlier episodes because we've been going almost 10 years now.

And of course every three episodes a patron gets to pick the two movies we review and we've almost gone through full rotation of our patrons land, which means we'll be starting again soon.

That's cool.

So yeah, if you become a patron, you get all of that stuff as well as the chance to pick the two movies.

Yeah, I just bought them GoPro recently and they're fucking brilliant.

It's so good.

So I can easily record new content.

And it won't be dodgy.

No, because I make little videos from my life, showing some of my movie collection and stuff and things.

So I like to know occasionally I like those pop up.

I pop up occasionally.

And sometimes I feel your pleasure.

When I'm not inundated with my children.

But yeah, so that's what patrons get.

And you will also finally get me read out all of your names in a silly voice.

So thank you so much to all of our patrons and that includes...

Queen Lex Boo Boo Boo Boo.

That's Holly.

Thank you.

Also, RJ McCready.

Okay, Rachel!

Thanks.

Cisisisisisisisisisira. K. K. K. K.

Thank you.

I like your thank yous after each one.

"Gravin' us five."

Thanks.

♪ Key me Jenkins. ♪

Thank you.

Icoplime, it's Matthew Godly.

Thank you, kindly.

And Dan, call ya.

Cus his name sounds like he should be in the mafia

with a name like Dan, call ya.

Yes, I'm amazing. Thank you very much.

And do let us know if you got that t-shirt.

Yes.

Don't let me do it.

I'm intrigued.

Cus if not, I fucked up.

Because it took us so long for us to be allowed to send it.

They kept telling you you weren't allowed to just put a post it.

I've some weird cyber attack on the computer systems,

so you can post it in flames to America.

So what, what?

And then a little bit of a talk, I said to the lady one day,

"Can I now like send to America?"

And she's like, "Yes."

Like with like a stupid, like, "You're the one who told me."

And so I don't get enough fucking letters saying that I could do it again.

How am I supposed to know?

Well hopefully, Don, you got your t-shirt.

If you didn't, we'll try again.

Please let us know.

But that's it, guys.

That was episode 139.

It was a patron pick.

So thanks again to Holly for picking those two really random films,

but good fun to chat around.

And we had some animal attacks with Bill Murray.

Yep.

And it's going to be final destination for the next episode.

So there we go.

Anything you want to add or say before we...

Not really.

Thank you very much everybody for coming along with our little journey with us.

I hope you did interested your brain cells for a little while.

I hope I've interested your brain cells, guys.

Yep.

Well, it is a good night from John Cusack's really weird Nicolas Cage-style hair.

It's a good night from Fizzy.

It is a good night from Fizzy, don't you?

Because you make me have a little tear.

It's a good night from PVC latex, boobs, vampire lady.

Boobs.

Yeah, it's a good night from like...

Samuel, mom of fucking Jackson.

And it's a good night from...

What the fuck is this ending?

Is it real?

Is it not? Is he a phone?

I don't know what's going on, Stephen King.

Yes, good night.

Make sure you shut those windows, doors and everything's all safe.

Good night.

And if you hear a phone ringing in your freezer, don't answer it.

Don't answer it.

Don't answer it.

Because it's probably John Cusack's ex-wife.

Good bit.

Good night.

Good night.

Thank you for listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill.

We will be back again real soon.

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THE PODCAST ON HAUNTED HILL EPISODE 139 – CELL AND RAZOR BLADE SMILE
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