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Hello, everyone, and welcome to Episode 107 of The Friday Nightmares Podcast.

I am one half of your hosting team this evening.

Mr.

Smokeshow Crawford, coming to you from the town of Swartz Creek, in the county of Genesee, in the state of Michigan, in the United States of America, in the North American continent, in the Western Hemisphere, on the planet Earth, in the Milky Way Galaxy.

I'm fully vaxxed, boosted, and waxed, and ready to climax.

And if you can, please get me wet and feed me after midnight.

I'm the man with the glorious beard, aka Mother of Cats, aka the man with the humongous ego, aka Scotthausen, aka Scotty Too Hotty, aka Spanky, aka Hey Scott.

And with me, as always, is...

Heather Powell, coming to you today from Waterdown, Ontario, Canada.

It's been a summer.

Scott and I last recorded in July when we struggled with online recording software.

Oh, God, yeah.

We are being sneaky sneaky with using my work's Zoom account.

So that's what works for us.

Here we are, September 7th, recording, catching up on all the summer blockbusters or things that thought they were blockbusters, but we question how great they actually are.

I didn't ask Scott if he wanted to do this beforehand, but I feel like we should give a heads up that Scott and I are coming to the end of our run here with Friday Nightmares.

Yes.

It's, as people can tell, we set these episodes out less and less frequently, and that's due to many reasons, life changes, interest changes, and just the reality of our schedules.

So we will finish out this year.

Scott and I are committed to doing that.

And I think we wanted to do an award show for this year.

We will do an award show for this year, and that may be our last episode.

I don't know if we'll do something after that.

We'll have to see how we're feeling, but we will announce it if it's our last show, which will probably be at the end of the year.

Maybe we'll do one more in January.

I don't know if we'll come back once in a while, and maybe next year we'll do a Top 26 if we end up watching enough movies just for shits and giggles.

So you may hear from us occasionally, but it all comes to a time and a place.

And this has been a fabulous run for, I guess it would be five, six years.

It'll be going on six years in January, once we hit January.

So five years to me is a pretty good run.

That sounds about the length of my relationships in January.

But I'll just keep it aside.

We just have different interests.

And I think for me, I've started volunteering at my local animal shelter.

And that's something that's a real passion project to me.

I talked about how my dad passed away last year.

That's required a lot more support of my mom and doing stuff with her.

And of course, Scott is a father now, and his son is in marching band, which for any Americans out there, you know that's basically like a lifetime commitment.

Yeah, I was gonna say pretty much like two to three days a week are immediately taken up every single week for games, practices, meetings, you name it, I gotta be there and, you know, being the dad, trying to be the supportive dad that I am, gotta try to be everything I can.

And, you know, we also got our oldest is a senior this year, and our youngest is a freshman this year.

So lots of meetings, lots of planning, lots of money being spent, lots of time being needed for open houses, and also getting married.

It's a lot of time, we're just getting sucked away right now.

It's been very, very busy and hectic.

And they're also filming the remake of Stepfather 2020.

Exactly.

It's just Scott like freaking out because he just wants to get his tomatoes and Carter has to get the band practice, and Scott loses it.

Why won't you let me be in my garden?

Who am I here?

I'm gardener Scott, or am I Scotty, or am I?

Who am I?

You're like with your bitch working there.

I don't know what's going on anymore.

You're right.

I don't know.

I'm just so fucking tired.

That's the fucking truth.

Isn't that the fucking truth?

But Scott and I have always said that we want to leave on the right way.

I personally hate it when I'm listening to a podcast, and they just disappear.

It actually really upsets me greatly.

So I don't want that to be us.

That is not us.

We are not them, Scotty.

And we're not retiring or anything like that.

We're done.

This was a hobby project of ours from the COVID era.

And we went from doing it once a month to bi-weekly, hell, even sometimes weekly with some of our trivia stuff that we did, because COVID made us really fucking bored.

Oh, man.

And we did a lot of shit.

And now it's gone back to once every month and a half to two months.

So it's...

Yeah.

We've come back to where we started a long time ago.

And I really want to thank everyone who has reached out to me, a lot of friends, not like we have all these fans that reach out to me, but and have said what good chemistry Scott and I have.

I 100% believe that.

And Scott and I's friendship had shone out through many of these episodes over years.

And you'll hear it today because we got some bangers to talk about.

So...

Oh, boy, do we ever.

Do we ever.

So thank you.

And when we leave, we'll probably give a special thank you to certain podcasters that supported us.

But as much as we've razzed some of our podcasting partners in crime, such as Rob the Hump at Slasher Radio and Dummies of Horror with Tim Davis and Daniel Luffy, they are quality podcasters and they are not hanging up their head anytime soon.

So please, please support them.

I was saying, they'll always have a lifetime fan in me listening to their shows.

Forever.

I'm forever a Patreon, even though I've yet to get my sexy calendar in the mail from Tim.

But-

Oh, you better call him out on that shit.

I know.

Where's my sexy calendar, Tim?

Tim, you hear that?

Wait, you're getting a sexy calendar?

I'm a Patreon too, so Tim, start putting out, buddy.

Yeah, you know what?

That's really what we come down to.

Scott and I don't believe in consent.

We just take what we want.

Exactly.

So yeah, so please listen to, and there's many other, The Horror Returns, Exploding Head Movie Podcast.

There's many other great podcasts out there.

Eternal Darkness, Not So Spotless Minds.

Spotless Mind, yes.

Like there's great podcasters, and it's been a pleasure to be with them.

I know I sound like we're dying.

We're coming back at least two more times, but I'd like to be honest and give the heads up because I care.

And so to Scott, this was definitely a labor of love, but I like how you said we're not going to say we retired because we have burned.

This is where the truth comes out.

We have made fun of so many podcasters, like at our level.

I'm not talking to the people that get paid real money to podcast.

Like, I'm talking like Scott and I's level, who talk about retiring from podcasting.

I think it's the stupidest shit.

Yeah, because especially it's like we don't make money off this.

So there is no retirement unless you are putting your Patreon money for the people that do Patreon into a 401k or something.

You're like making big Patreon.

And I follow some pretty big podcasters on Patreon, and they don't have that many Patreon followers.

Like, you know what I mean?

You got to be pretty big to make this into a full-time, luscious career.

So that is not us.

So there's no such thing as retiring.

We just stop.

Exactly.

We have come to the limits of what we are capable of doing anymore, because life is life.

Yeah, life has changed.

Life has changed.

But, like, I honestly, every time you talk about the kids, I swear to God you're making a stepfather remake.

Like, I said, I've been fishing you, like, and I'm the drunk aunt.

I still, like, I remember years ago that we made that joke, and it never stops being funny that I said something like, Scott, isn't the, maybe Scott isn't the famous podcaster?

Like, you know, where she's doing, like, the research on the guy, and he's not in real estate, like, there's no credit history, and there's, you know, like, the drunk aunt puts it together just too late because he comes over and kills her at, I'm like, that would happen.

I'd be drunk.

Fuck, I was drunk and high last night.

So, you know, I would definitely, it's fair that would happen, only it would be, like, something related to your gardener thing.

So it'd be a little cropsy coming in there with the clippers, you know?

I like that.

I like that.

Right.

And actually, you know, Darren Wilson, if you still listen to our show, which I think you still do, we need a Photoshop of me on the cover of The Stepfather.

Just 100 percent.

And I can I be at the side, like the drunk aunt with like a martini glass, like, oh, my favorite podcaster.

That would be amazing.

That would be amazing.

Oh, fuck.

OK, we'll get into this.

We watched the movies over the summer.

Fuck, I didn't even get the right name on the sheet for this.

But I will kick us off with a anthology.

But it was so bad, I don't even think I told Scott about it.

Like, I was like, no.

Oh, we want, Erica and I watched the trailer to this.

We're going, oh, no, oh, no.

Sorry.

Yeah, we couldn't.

We're like, nope, we're not.

We can't.

You're like, there's trouble down that road.

I don't want to go down that road.

It was bad.

All right.

So this is Tales from the Black Manor.

Enter the chilling world of the Tales of the Black Manor.

The story that begins in the 1300s and continues through time to the end of the world, following one family's ties to death.

Jesus Christ.

The story unfolds across generations across the black family, and as they possess a secret book of death, then it seeks...

Okay, all these people die of natural things, okay?

Like some of them die in the fucking war.

It's not like, honestly, there's not a lot of...

this movie is dumb.

So anyway, how this movie is shaped is it starts with like a family and their origins, and you kind of have, you know, each generation.

It's kind of like the Fear Street saga.

For anyone who ever read the Fear Street Saga books, just read them.

Don't watch this movie because this movie is garbage.

I don't know, like there's like one star rating here, a star and a half.

It was just so boring, drawn out.

None of the stories were really interesting or good.

And it felt like it was 200 minutes, not 91 minutes.

Oof.

So but if for some reason you want to, I don't know, see the most boring storytelling of history ever, you can watch this on Amazon, Canada, US., Plex, Fawesome, USA.

I'm going to miss hearing about all these different streaming services that I didn't even know existed.

Right?

Um, yeah, if it's free on Plex, go ahead.

But again, only if you really, really like boring history would I recommend this bad boy right here.

Well, since we're kind of going with the theme here, let me tell y'all about the next gem that I watched.

This one is called The Last Cabin.

It's a 80-minute runtime, and trapped in a remote cabin, a film crew finds themselves stuck by three masked men who know the isolated forest and their every move.

This is a found footage film, and yet lots of failed attempts at trying to make this actually found footage to break every rule that I ever listed.

The characters were all just unlikable.

There was no redeeming quality.

The effects were extremely low budget and didn't even try to hide it.

The masked killers looked like they just got a mask from a dollar store, which, you know, OK, that could be creepy, but it just felt just out of place.

What else was there?

Oh, it also tried to be the Blair Witch, because there was literally a scene with the main girl towards the end where she points the camera at her face and she starts crying and going, I'm sorry, mom, I'm sorry, dad.

I'm like, oh, my fucking God.

We already know how much I love the original Blair Witch project.

So me seeing that, I'm just like, fuck this, this is stupid.

It was it was just bad.

I don't even recommend this.

Like, and I'm a found footage apologist.

And I yeah, I gave this one and a half stars out of five on Letterbox.

Oof, oof.

Matt, good old sexy Matt Wood, I found his review, goes pretty straight up cabin in the woods, found footage movie.

All I can really remember was that the actress was pretty crap.

Yep.

And the film wasn't scary.

Yep.

Like most found footage films these days.

And he gave it two and a half stars.

Sums it up right there.

And yeah, and if you want to watch this gem, Apple TV, Google Play, Amazon, YouTube, Fandango.

I don't recommend renting this.

This was just...

If it comes on 2B, and you're a found footage apologist, maybe, but...

Maybe, and you're desperate.

Yeah, good.

But otherwise, yeah, avoid this one.

This one was just bad.

You know, you should just go can tomatoes.

Exactly.

Live my life.

Do anything else, actually, instead of watching this movie.

All right, this next one, Don't Hang Up.

I saw this a while ago, and I can barely remember it.

That tells you how great it was.

All I can say is, hello?

Oh, you hang up first.

No, you hang up first.

You hang up first.

Don't hang up.

Haunted by the past, Summer, of course, Summer was her name.

Anyway, travels to Tulsa, Oklahoma for the wedding of a college friend.

Her boyfriend, Chris, couldn't make it, but she keeps in constant contact with him via FaceTime.

That's how I keep in contact.

Contact.

After the wedding, Summer and her two friends, Vicki and Eve.

Oh, yes, the three girls are back in the Airbnb.

They rented out for the weekend.

This was also found footage.

Oh, boy.

And unaware that their presence in the house has unleashed the ghost of the family.

Okay, it's coming back to me now.

This wasn't as bad as I remember it.

This was definitely low-budget.

It sounds better than the one you watched.

So if this was us in 2021, 2022, I would have been like, Scott, watch it.

But I know you fucking have no time.

So I will just stay out there.

For anyone who enjoys found footage, I believe it's Esme.

Did I say that right?

Oh, Esme Gray, yes.

Esme Gray, Esme Gray.

You may like this.

This is something you would appreciate.

But you got to like indie, like true independent horror.

And it's not bad.

Like it was only, let's see, it was 90 minutes.

It didn't overstay its welcome.