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Waste it

And welcome to the final commentary for filler time and cinema psyops.

I'm your host, Cort, the guy that is so fucking frazzled and worn out and just tired of all the rest of the bullshit in his life that he just had to do this commentary right in the middle of a snowstorm with his co-host Matt.

I'm in the bunker again.

And while folks will notice Matt doesn't sound quite right, that's because we're having trouble getting his mic working. And like I said, I would much rather just get this commentary recorded.

Did I sound like shit again?

No, you sound fine. It's just that your your headset has got you a bit muffled is all, right?

I gotcha.

It sounds it sounds like you're uh on a conference call with uh work. You know what I mean?

That's exactly why I'm using a work headset, so that makes sense.

Yeah, perfect. So there we go. Yeah, it's it's picking your voice up just fine. We can hear you. It just sounds like you are literally phoning it in this week.

I am little uh finally sound like how I am, phoning it in.

Yeah, well this may be the uh human interest stories too phone it in'cause we gon' be bored. Um for a lot of the human interest stuff. But when the Godzilla shit hits this week, we it's gonna hit hard

Alright, well a two hour long movie. Let's do this.

Yeah, absolutely no kidding. All right, so Godzilla Final Wars from two thousand four.

Uh, it is, like we said, over two hours. So we're just gonna get with it. Just like we normally do, we count down three, two, one, and then we click on the play button with the mouse if we're using a computer, or we press the play button on our remote if you're using a disk and you're watching along.

So if everybody's ready, let's go with three, two, one, and click.

I try to do that time as best I can for everyone and you should be seeing this two host scope right now if you got your

That's that's what I'm seeing.

Hey, it's our weather now.

Okay, so I didn't mention I did not mention this earlier, uh, but the director of this is the same guy who did a movie that was like really, really big and super action oriented that was called Versus in the early two twenty aughts.

And uh they thought, well, that's what the Godzilla universe needs, right?

Oh hey look that godzilla's back now. With that face.

Yeah, so they did kind of a hybrid of the two thousands era Godzillas. Yeah. And I do really, really like the look of the Final Wars Godzilla'cause they make him the serious villain now. And you see he has the scar in his chest from Yeah, I'd like to

He looks like yeah Lynn, I know the guy who's the captain of the thing, man, he's been in fucking shit.

Yeah, he's been in a ton of these movies, absolutely. This is actually kind of a continuation of the Tokyo SOS story and and that series because that's the guy from that series.

But again, this is sort of like a reboot quill, but this time it's like, no, no, actually everything in the Godzilla universe is

Always happened, and now all these creatures are here, and now Godzilla's going to murder everyone in the Godzilla universe. That's that's the plan.

There so this is like a Deadpool Deadpool kills the Marvel universe, this is Godzilla kills the Godzilla universe.

Yeah, this is another one of those aliens come to take over Earth using the giant monsters, and Godzilla is resurrected to stop it, because this is what we're seeing is where

So now we're rooting for Godzilla.

Kind of. So this is this is like basically ti dovetails really well with Tokyo SOS and the prequel to that with with Godzilla vs. Mecagodzilla, I think is what it was called. Or sometimes it's called Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2. I can't remember the

They're all mixed up, but at least with this guy and then those those forces, but then they go really weird with it'cause like I said, the guy who did verses is really into like martial arts fighting in his films and yeah over the top action with humans, so

He decides to throw the X-Men in here and a bunch of other shit that just doesn't make sense.

The X-Men?

You'll see. Not like not like literal X Men, but like mutant powered people who fight Godzillas and

It's weird dude. It's really fucking weird.

And this part is gonna explain it to us.

Yeah.

Clip time

Clip tie.

Instead of killing each other, mankind has been To combat the monsters.

See what I mean? They're like literally like, no, all of this stuff existed so now Godzilla can kill them all.

I gotcha.

I like that aspect of this, but this shit is stupid.

Yeah.

I do not like any of this mutant stuff. I've made my my point of view about that very clear. Although the action in some of the sequences is really cool and fun, I just wanna watch the kaiju fights.

Yeah, of course.

of your mission.

Because I mean what the hell else are we doing?

Yeah, some of the stunts in this were the first thing.

Oh look at the I I'm sure doing the splits is gonna help you fight kaijus.

Yeah, we've already proven in earlier.

The only defense.

Yeah, we've already proven that like a troop of people with b like bazookas and rocket launchers ain't gonna do shit.

Right. But you know, ultimate gymnastics is what takes down a kaiju. Jesus Christ.

At least it looks pretty.

Dude, I I'm not begging on the ability to do the splits. That is some next level stuff. I'm just saying when it comes to the ability of fighting kaijus.

Ma maybe other things are more important.

Yeah, so music is Keith Emerson and Sum forty one. So prepare yourself for that.

Wait, some 41?

The band, Sum forty one, yeah.

The music for this movie.

Yes.

When was this released?

Two thousand four?

Oh wow.

All right. This this is twenty-two years old now, man.

Jesus. Yeah, but still, I mean I'm not used to hearing Godzilla movie and then some forty one.

Yeah, in the early 20 aughts, again, this is another thing that the specific director I was talking about who did the versus movie and made this, that's also his thing, is he wanted to make it like, you know, of the day. Like and very like

And fun and all of that stuff. So it really dates the movie more than all of the other ones are even dates.

I mean still I mean that's all right. Uh you know, I'm just uh forty what was like, Hey we can get a fucking paycheck on this, so let's do it

hate some forty one. I really don't. I just it's not necessarily for me.

You know? Well no. I'm just saying it's just it's like I view it as, you know, the Hollywood stars do like commercials in Japan, you know, for money, hoping they'll never be seen.

Well that's five minutes of runtime that we just got right there.

Yeah, that took a lot.

Now this ship that's fighting the Manda here is like a type of ant atragon. That's Don Fry. Do you recognize him? He's like an ultimate fighter over or a pride fighter over in Japan.

Oh no.

Yeah, like he's really famous for being like ultra mega badass guy over there basically for all of those pride fightings and stuff. Pride fighting was a thing that existed before UFC that had

Yeah, pride. I know pride.

Okay, I knew you were aware of it, but Yeah.

the early ultimate fighting, pride fighting and the martial arts competitions where they're like, no, you can fuck each other up.

Yeah, I just can't get the MMA.

I used to really get into MMA and then they started putting in all the rules to protect all of the people that were doing MMA and then I stopped liking it as much'cause I wanted to watch them hurt each other.

Uh i it maybe I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this, but for me MMA is just a bunch of dudes who dads either didn't hug'em enough or hugged him too much.

Yeah. That sounds like a routine from somebody else that you borrowed.

Uh I did not. That is something I figured out.

The kaiju that's wrapped around there I think is named Manda is what its name is, if I remember correctly. Um I use the nickname sometimes that other people don't use, so um I can't remember like the the spider I was referring to as Spyga actually has a different name.

But it's the nickname that I know and use, so

Alright. I'm gonna call him the golden snake.

And well this one's definitely Manda and she's not gonna be around long enough or he is not gonna be around long enough to really Yeah, this is pretty much it.

Yeah.

Now they don't call the ship Atragon in this, but this is clearly meant to be the Atragon ship.

Yeah.'Cause it looks an awful lot like that flying missile thing.

Automatic lock under

There are some people who do not like the design of this ship and they think it looks like a giant flying turd. Those people live in Wisconsin are named Dan.

No.

If I remember his review correctly, he referred to this as a giant metal turd.

It's I mean, it kinda it's just a drill. It's like a It looks like a giant automatic like uh dildo or vibrator that's violent.

I don't know what those look like because I would never own one.

Yes, you've never used Google.

I tend to not Google vibrators because they're not very useful for me.

Call me weird.

Good job everyone. Miller time, am I right, people?

Gotenko, return to base.

Wow. Seems kind of misogynistic now, doesn't it, the way that he just talked to her.

Yeah, very much so.

Although they just go through a near death experience and all she can do is start bitching at'em. So you kinda like, you know

Yeah.

Maybe your maybe your nerves are afraid a bit.

This this if you see the folks in these outfits, usually you're gonna be in for some martial arts action and fighting going on that's ridiculous and over the top, but still very entertaining.

Cause of course martial arts can help us against giant fucking kaijus.

They can help us when they're mutants.

X-Men can defeat giant monsters.

I don't think they can.

According to this movie apparently they can, but these don't have any special like like super special mutant powers, they just like are a bunch of deadpools basically.

Yeah.

Like I think they just heal really fast and they're really good at fighting. Yeah. Well not they they don't have a dying factor like Deadpool does. They're more like a healing factor like Wolverine, but less surly about it.

I g they're not as angry about it all the time.

Yeah, he is very angry about his healing factor quite a bit.

And they don't call us Bub.

God, I would hope not.

Boy, I'm already starting to snooze with this. I mean I like the martial arts, but come on guys.

I mean a few more kaichu powers.

Good God Almighty.

Not for nothing, man. This thing forever.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

We're talking about practice, man. Practice.

You can't do it and you can't do it. Not even a game. We're talking about practice.

You can't do it!

I know I love w I started with the Ellen Iverson thing and you went right into Ted Lasso. It's great.

Ha ha ha ha.

Well, that's all I know of sports is watching Ted Lasso and other shows like that. Like I've learned everything I've learned about sports from watching movies or T V about sports.

Yeah, and I just love that speech where Ted Lasso is screaming about how Jamie is a piece of shit at him without actually screaming about him being a piece of shit at him. Yeah. And everybody else gets it but Jamie. It's just a really fun scene.

But yeah, that all comes from uh there's a basketball player called I Alan Iverson. Report to me. And uh there's a time where he would not practice, so like like the media like took it up and were asking him about it and he goes, What are we talking about, man? We're talking about practice.

We're not even talking about a game. We're just talking about pr and he just kept going on and on like that and uh it turned into a pretty heavy thing for a while.

I wouldn't be surprised if Lasso is referencing that because they're really good about making that shit.

Yeah. No, he definitely was referencing that. Yeah. Talking about practice.

And you can't do it.

No, you're not a winner.

All right, well if everybody's getting bored, we can start talking about some of the things that are coming up on the show while we have this like mutant inter drama thing.

Yeah.

I'm working on the list right now, but I'm not gonna tell everybody all of the movies, but I'm gonna start. We already talked about how we're doing the Gene Wilder stuff. That's on the list already.

Yeah.

And the scheduling doc documents in the same folder that you downloaded, uh

Your uh movie from to watch or your file. Uh huh. So

Uh so we got silver streak, stir crazy, see no evil, hear no evil, and another you. We've already decided how to split that up. Um so I'll do see no evil and hear no evil and you'll do another U. I'm gonna take Silver Streak and you'll do Sir Stir Crazy.

Yes.

Uh next we talked about it and we weren't on one of the commentaries, but I actually kind of decided to do a demarcation point. We're gonna do Trucker Movies pre nineteen eighty first.

Oh okay.

And then we're gonna do Car Chase movies pre nineteen eighty second and we're gonna do basically six and six, sort of like a sp a pick six movie thing at first.

Right.

So I've got the first sets of the pre nineteen eighties trucker and car movies that we're we're looking at doing, all right? Captain.

So for the trucker.

We spawned it down right into the city.

Alright, so for the trucker movies.

Duel from 1971 because it's fucking dual. We gotta do that.

The truck is a monster? Come on, we're doing that. Yeah.

White line fever.

That's the skill.

White Line Fever. Have you heard of that?

Breaker.

How many trucking movies do we got?

Enough to have a s demarcation point between pre and post nineteen eighties.

That's that's that's insane, man. I mean America's been in love with trucking forever.

Yeah, I'm gonna give you the first six movies, okay? That's what I'm working on now. White Line Fever, nineteen seventy five, Breaker Breaker, nineteen seventy-seven. We are doing Smokey and the Bandit from nineteen seventy-seven as a truckers movie because

Yeah, sir.

While the bandit is looks prominent and it's technically got some car chase with the bandit, he is running interference for the truck. So it's really all about getting that truck there. So that's why it's in the trucker movies and not car chase to me.

Yeah.

Uh then after that we've got Highballing in nineteen seventy eight and we're finishing strong with Convoy from nineteen seventy eight for all of the pre nineteen eighty Truckers movies. Does that include

I have not seen a lot of these. I will just say it out front. And if I have seen them, I haven't seen them in a really long time. So this is gonna be like watching most of these for the very first time and I'm excited.

Yeah man, I'm really excited for Smokey and the Bandit.

Of course. I'm sure a lot of our audience actually is.

Uh we've got car chase movies pre nineteen eighty that'll be coming after that, and I'm gonna stop there, but you can see what's on the list and we can augment from here. That's very clearly a murder chicken in stone.

That is definitely a murder chicken in stone.

But I bet it would make some great wings and I want them.

Looks like he's already made some wings'cause he looks like he's already battered and fried.

Just give me some buffalo sauce.

Uh I prefer a Parmesan garlic. Um'cause I like a little bit of spice more than heat. I like the spicy heat that your Parmesan garlic gives you.

Well yeah yeah yeah. No I'm a I'm a buffalo guy, maybe uh some little reaper. Mm

Yeah, you like hot hot. You want it to be so hot you don't even taste the rest of the food.

That is that is a f uh uh you know, not that hot, but uh I'm I'm I'm up there.

Is that um lesson for you the older you get? Because I don't I don't do hot as well as I used to.

Ye the older you're getting, yeah, you you gotta start toning it down. Uh or else I'm not gonna have any stomach lining left. And I'm still probably not exactly where I should be but

Yeah.

Uh I'm I'm I'm evening myself out of the way.

The compositing in this is fucking gorgeous.

Don't be ridiculous.

We're gonna get two different versions of Gai Gan in this film. Um, I'm going to actually I'm thinking about getting on my uh kaiju torso thing.

that I'm doing in the Japanese style for my tattoos. I'm thinking about getting whenever they upgrade Gai Gan in this film to his later form.

Oh okay.

I'm thinking about getting that as a tattoo because it is the most badass guy again.

Look at this guy's suit. You shiny. Yeah.

This movie also has a ton of cameos from surviving people that have been in Godzilla films from the past. I am I am not good enough with people in these films to give a fuck.

Yeah, to try to tell you who was yeah. There are some people that like actors. I just watch these movies because I love the kaiju. That's all I care about.

I I don't know who likes actors. Come on. No one does. That's a lie.

People people like people.

I consider myself a people person and I can't stand'em.

All right, so like back to the car chase movies while we're trying to kill some time here. Uh so pre-1980, we're gonna start with Bullet, which may arguably be the best car chase ever fucking film.

I've never even heard of it. How's that sound?

Yeah, you're gonna love it. Bullet with Steve Queen. Then we're gonna do Oh yeah.

No I'm not I yeah, I've never do you know I've never seen a lot of Steve McQueen movies.

I'm not that surprised. You're not you before we started really hanging out, you weren't even much of a movie guy. You were like, let's watch a comedy and laugh at it.

Ja, ja, ja, kind of.

I've turned you into a movie guy.

You have.

Alright, so Bullet Steve McQueen, nineteen sixty eight. Now listen very carefully because I'm going to say a word that's gonna get you excited, but that was made after nineteen eighty, so Cannonball from nineteen seventy six.

Oh cannonball.

And then Gumball Rally, nineteen seventy five.

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Now, probably the coolest anti-authority uh car chase movie of all time is next with Vanishing Point.

Okay.

Then we're gonna do the driver from nineteen seventy-eight. And then we're gonna finish it off with White Lightning 1973. Now I'm probably gonna redo those orders to do them in y the year release, so it'll probably go bullet.

Uh Vanishing Point, White Lightning.

Then Gan Cannonball and Gumball Rally, depending upon when they were released, and then the driver will be the last one in nineteen seventy eight. The reason I'm doing that for these movies is I want to show the specific evolution, so

And I'll stop talking about this if these ladies start singing, but until

Yeah, yeah,'cause it's the twins, man.

Yeah.

For Mathra.

And I'm still working on the post-1980s, but I can assure everyone we will get to the Cannonball Run movies for the Car Chase movies. We will do Smokey and the Bandit 2 in the Trucker movies. That's already on the list.

And if I can't get six of each, I'll just get as many as I can for the second round. And then we'll just call it a quits on that theme for car chase movies and trucks trucker movies from pre and post nineteen eighties.

'Cause there's a real there's a real demarcation point from when they went from anti authority and social commentary messages in them to silly gumball.

Like like cannonball run style stuff or some of the Car Chase movies. And if you watch them in order of the years they were released, you can see where things get lightened up more and more to try and bring a bigger audience in instead of like trying to make a statement.

I gotcha.

Except for like Peck and Paul's convoy,'cause uh Peck and Paul don't fuck around.

Yeah, no.

We're gonna have some Walter Hill films and stuff like that in there too, so Yeah, I'm really excited for that.

Alright now plane just exploded. You dead.

Yeah, so now we're in America and this is racist as fuck and I'm very sorry everyone.

Yeah, that this is a not a good look.

Yeah, the Japanese are racist too, apparently.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of been a f an unfortunate problem for black people, uh the Japanese is

They are

Yeah, we haven't even covered you watched Frankenstein Girl vs. Vampire Girl with me, but we've never covered it on this show and that movie.

Well and I only I didn't I didn't even get to watch it all, remember? I I had to leave and I was really mad about it because I was like, What in the fuck am I watching?

Yeah, that Edgelord movie making in the early twenty odds was fucking nuts, wasn't it?

Yeah. Oh, big time.

So kaijus are now starting to attack various areas and we're finally seeing in a Toho movie America's really getting wrecked by Rodan.

Oh man.

Rodan's like time for all you assholes to go.

Now this is referred to as fire rodan sometimes to differentiate. This is if I get a Rodan I'm actually considering a lot of the designs in this movie for the kaiju.

because I really like this suit. I really like the way this Rodan looks. And it's really close to the new Monsterverse Rodan. And the older Rodan, let's face it, look kind of derpy. This is the best look I've seen for Rodan.

This is uh this is ro Dan O growed up and

Yeah. And they took this version of Rodan that kind of like blows things up when he Sonic Booms past.

And sets things on fire.

With the modern Rodan where he's like living in a lava pit, you know, in a volcano.

Yeah.

And like he's constantly on fire when he's flying, you know? Switch the channel. I guess that's where he gets his energy is in lava. In the monster verse.

That's nice for him.

Yeah.

So I'm still working on the lists, but that's kind of what we have coming up. That's at least the first twelve lists and then a promise that yes, we will be getting to go cannonball run.

In the post nineteen eighties car chase movie. And yes, we will get to Smokey and the Bandit 2 in the post Trucker movies of nine in post nineteen eighty Trucker movies. So there we go.

And I'll be working with you to try and schedule things. What I'd like to do is just basically go back to our old schedule where we record two every other week. And then if we need to skip a week or something comes up, we just delay releasing those episodes when we have to skip a week. It's fine.

Good. That's the plan. You know, we just do it for fun and we do it for us.

Holy shit, which one is this now?

Uh interesting story. This is the ninety eight Broderick Zilla.

They brought they brought the Godzilla from the ninety-eight Broderick Godzilla into this world and now they're going to use him and we get to watch him die horribly from our true Godzilla.

Okay.

And you know Anne Garrett.

Oh yeah, yeah. I remember him, all right.

And Garus, I like this sculpt too. I I f that's the one thing that Final Wars has is all of the kaiju look terrific.

My favorite is the new Godzilla from the Broderick movie. It's the only one so far that's looked like absolute dog shit.

Yeah, they made him CG to look like dog shit on purpose.

Yep, yep. I that's what I thought. Holy shit, look at this guy.

That's King Caesar, you should recognize him from uh Terra Mechagodzilla, I think, is where he shows up. It's

Oh okay. Oh yeah.

Yeah, in the Zilla they made him look like shit in CGR.

Yeah, they really did.

It's funny that they did that.

Yeah, I l I kinda like that.

And you notice he's attacking um like what looks like America?

Yeah.

Why why would you go back for that guy? I'd just keep running.

I don't know. And I think that's uh that's the Cromakus.

Okay.

Which is also just referred to as giant preying manace in some f versions of the movies or so.

Uh, fine.

Yeah, so we got a lot of the monsters coming from.

Uh that's who I call Spiga, but I don't think that's Spiga.

Man, move this little punk ass Canadian shithead.

Yeah. Where monsters really, really exist and this kid's playing with toys.

So yeah, once the kaiju action gets going, this is actually pretty great. The model work is great. The kaijus fighting are great. Yeah. You just need to get rid of like 90 minutes of fucking just people bullshit that we don't care about.

Just kinda usefulness, you know. Uselessness.

Yeah. And here we have the giant flying metal turd again.

No, pouring gear is

There's so many metal turrets.

With lasers firing. The ship is doing more damage to the city than Nangirus was.

Yeah, right?

I like this version of Anguiris because he does this.

Like the little hop hop pill bottle of like pill buck rolling in attack with his spines.

Yeah.

It's a nice upgrade. I think it's really cool.

I mean listen man, maybe stop shooting at it, alright? It's kinda playing with you real bad.

Well that's like here we see that uh Rodan really can't have missiles fired at him.

Oh good God it's it it's the baby Godzilla. Even that one

Yeah. Yeah, but luckily it's the baby Godzilla version that's cute and not like looks like a giant turd.

But yeah, we have to have the kid interest like we have with the

I mean but it's here's what's weird, it's coming out of nowhere.

Yeah, they're just jumping around in this, I know.

Like listen, if I was actually trying to watch this right now I'd be like, Whoa Cort, what the fuck just happened?

Yeah, no seriously, this is it's really like I I forget I think Dan did the notes for this and I I'm so grateful that he did because There's no way I was gonna bother.

It is bad.

Yeah, this is not a great flick.

No, this is

There's there's plenty of things that are wrong with it, but there's so much that is right. Like again, all of the monster stuff is gorgeous and wonderful. Yeah.

But they made some choices I don't agree with. There's Evera.

And we're about to see Ebra get taken down by these uh mutants and their uh kung fu stylings.

Oh alright.

You were asking how the splits can s kill a kaiju and I think they're about to show you.

Oh, okay. Very interesting then.

Yeah. The model tanks are even old school and kinda cool.

Yeah. Everything except for uh how they're just shitting on new god.

is great, you know? And even that is at least funny, that y the new Godzilla for the project moves is the only one that made look like shit.

Yeah.

The modeling, everything else is great.

All the explosions, the people being in peril and danger and all of this happening, this isn't boring to me. But then they stop and then they start doing stuff that's like Okay, these are ultra mega powerful people that are going to go fight a kaiju with handheld weapons.

Humans should never be able to kill a m giant monster with handheld weapons.

No, no. The only way they should be able to kill a monster is with uh you know, giant lasers.

to fry that lobster.

Well that's the thing is they have handheld mazers now and I just don't Yeah. I don't I don't know, I just I don't

Mazer.

I don't think any

Blazer.

And mazer and taser and taser.

They got guys like Mazer and Blazer.

out here.

Well if you can dodge a wrench Matt you can dodge a ball.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a kaiju.

Actually you can't.

No, I I don't think you can either.

Yeah, see, I don't need any of this. It's cool.

But it's

I mean just show me the fucking kaiju suit you spent so much money on. Why do this?

I d I don't know. Somewhere a director thought, you know, a kaiju muji movies?

don't wanna see anything but the humans. Uh I mean who really cares about kaijus?

And it's like we all do. There's there's no one who watches a kaiju movie for the human element.

Oh I'm sure there are some people out there that are

I don't think so. I think you're wrong.

Here's the thing, I don't mind the human element whenever it's good and it's intriguing and it gives me information that I need. But this move like this. This is not this is not a kaiju film. This is a this is a mutated action adventure X-fil X-Men film kind of in the middle of this.

Listen, if I wanted to see a guy who thought he could take things on'cause he has magical powers, I'd watch the Empire Strikes back, alright?

See, they're firing at him and then they do it.

I wonder how an at-at would do against a kaiju.

Oh, well all it would take is the feet sweeped out from underneath it and it's done.

That's true, but it has powerful weapons at its disposal.

If it keeps a distance I think it'll be fine.

Yeah. Uh they probably went waste time and they would just firebomb the kaiju from space with a star destroyer.

See that's what I'm talking about. Those handheld weapons should have never been able to sever Eber's claws like that.

No, yeah, right.

I mean I'm not that precious about Ebra that it's that big of a deal to me, but it's just logically speaking, I don't care how super their weapons are, I don't care how mutated they are, there's still no

It kinda reminds me of the uh uh oh uh uh what's the goddamn movie with the fucking bugs, uh

Oh, um Starship Troopers?

Yes, thank you. You know, they're all taking on these big bugs with their sir handheld guns.

You're wondering why they're being slaughtered all the time.

Aaaaaah, they even gave him some badass fucking little phrase there, huh?

Yeah.

So now we're seeing the alien plot. Sorry, spoiler alert everyone. I mean, when is there not an alien plot?

There's a there's an alien plot.

Whenever monsters are being controlled, it's almost always the extraterrestrial.

And there goes Rodan.

Yeah, the pillbug attack for uh Angirus I think is a great little thing and I love that little sliding into a stop like that. That was There's moments in here that are just really well done that like keep me wanting to watch it and then we just like lull with all the humans forever.

But you could tell that this is very er uh early two thousands type look because if it's all like all the camera works like tan, you know.

Yeah, that that matrix matrix look where all the colors are muted and grayscale and trying to look, you know

Like the color timing is sort of looking like like everything's blue or green. Yeah. Or just like tinted to a slight like you said, like um I what I forget what they used to call that where the film would get like a discoloration.

Yeah.

That was big late nineties, early two thousand shit though.

Yeah, all because of the matrix more or less. That's what

Thank you.

I wish I could remember the name of the colour process.

Uh

Yeah, right.

Look at them all. We're gonna shoot anything in the sky.

I don't think an alien ship that has the power to retrieve kaiju like it's nothing.

is gonna have much fear from you.

Look at the shield, look at the guy who's You think your job makes you worthless? Try be the guy holding the shield up at a UFO. That's just something else.

No, no. There's nothing to understand.

Is it just me or do these mutants outfits like their their battle guards being all clear and everything over top of black leg?

So he's the alien.

Does it not feel like it needs to be an X Men knockoff from the nineties?

It it certainly does. So this is the guy's the alien.

But everyone thought he was Secretary General.

You know the ape people that did that in the one Mecha Godzilla?

Yeah.

Yeah. Same thing. I think it was a mechanizilla movie, but they were there were there were cockroaches

That were alien like ali cockroach looking aliens that replace people in one of'em. There were ape aliens. It just depends upon when Planet of the Apes was popular and then when other monster movies were popular on what the aliens would look like.

Life appear.

So yeah, aliens basically want to take over Earth and get rid of all of the humans so that they can now populate the Earth. And I think they're called Zalians or something like that in this. I don't know.

The Xalian.

I do think that that spaceship came right out of the Dune universe.

Yeah, right. Look at this thing.

Oh, and they're all wearing sunglasses, of course.

I think this guy's from something too, but I don't remember what, but I'm pretty sure that he's been in this universe before. Again, I don't pay attention enough to the actors. I do have to say that these suits are ridiculous.

Uh huh. Well it's it's the Matrix. Right.

Right. Again, this is very heavily influenced by the Matrix, but the meeting powers for everybody that explains it is also very heavily influenced by the X Men at this time.

So like the X Men stuff was out in the early nineties and they're kind of

Yeah. It's it's like it takes a lot of things going on it.

Yeah.

That's just kinda the style like I said of the director, the same guy who did verses. Yeah. He just throws everything at the wall and sees what sticks. And then his editing his editing style is just really frenetic and quite literally saying, Well never mind that, check this out.

Yeah, no, hey no, you know it it's very ADHD. It's very ADHD chic.

That's why you're enjoying this one a little bit more than you expected.

Right.

'Cause you're like, Oh, oh I can follow this because it's not interested in paying attention to it either.

Yeah. They don't they don't know where they're going, so what do I gotta know?

So yeah, anybody that's seen a Godzilla movie before will know that you should never ever ever ever ever ever trust extraterrestrials whenever they come to tell you that they'll take care of your kaiju.

Yeah, no, never. Take care of your own problems, Earth. Don't trust aliens to do it for ya.

Wait. And with that very that very xenophobic statement that we just made, we're going to just move on.

Well I meant like, you know w I mean I'm just saying though.

Yeah, if you have kaiju as your greatest resource or you know, threat, aliens are coming to use those against you in some way, shape, or form.

Yes. Extraterrestrial.

Well we have made it a full half hour into this Matt and we've had very minimal kaiju stuff.

Really have. But you know probably like some aliens are gonna pick this up on like outer space or some shit and they're gonna be like, We would have helped you guys. Wow, those two guys are jerks and just skip Earth altogether. And you know what?

Good for them. I wouldn't well I don't wanna we're not ready. We're not ready for you guys yet.

Honestly, if aliens showed up and took over the earth at this point, I don't even know if we'd be able to tell the difference.

Yeah, we killed all your leaders. Okay.

Cool story, bro. What else you got?

Yeah, what else we doin'?

Like I'm supposed to feel bad about that, right? That like all of all of our leaders are gone. I don't

All your richest people have been taken and we put them prisoner.

Alright.

Alright, I'm interested, but can you say summary execution and redistribution of wealth, Mr. Alien?

I'm s get ready to vote for you as rulers of earth. I'm just telling ya.

Wait, you want to enforce that all resources need to be shared equally by Earth's population? Sure, go ahead, take it over. Well, whatever.

Okay. Take me to your leader. We're gonna enslave them. We'll do and how?

Just leave me out of it and let me have it.

Listen, I'm already enslaved, so whatever.

No no Matt, you work in a free market world. You are not enslaved to your wage.

The fact that your health care

And your livelihood and your ability to stay warm and sheltered and fed is tied to the fact that you have to work for another place to get all of the resources that you need through the money. That has nothing to do with the fact.

I think the most important. Nothing at all. Like the fact that you

For no reason.

Does not make you a wage slave, Matt. That's not how capitalism works.

Okay.

It's a

So yeah, all right.

It's a free market.

Dammit.

You have the choice to starve to death in the free market. You can make that choice.

See, I have that choice. Fucking goddamn. I can't believe I live in this world.

This is where we are.

Deny what's in front of my eyes, alright? Well, I'm sorry to say Well, I am gonna deny what's right in front of my eyes, so fuck you.

Everyone's shirts are so shiny.

Yeah, their whole world is very shiny.

I figured out the word I was looking for. It's sepia tone.

You can do various sepia tone. It's the when you ever you do color grading and you choose a specific color to sort of accent more than others and mute all the other ones. I think it's called sepia tone.

Oh boy. I should have saved the uh the talk about what we're gonna do next here. What are we gonna do for the next

No, he's not my boyfriend. I don't care about your love life.

Oh, cool. We're watching a rave to this guy's uh science talk.

The DJ did a remix.

Yeah, I don't like in this era this style of music actually fit for doing a score, but it really dates the film to this specific era.

Ja.

Look at his eyes, you can tell he's not human.

He's a robot.

No, he's an-

He's a robot. He has a robot vagina.

Was that a grandma's boy reference?

Nice. That was um Nick Swartzon's line, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I am a robot. Yeah.

I actually I really like Grandma's Boy. That's one of the Happy Madison productions that I thought was really good. I did enjoy that quite a bit.

Yeah, same. Same. That is uh that is really one of the One of the better Happy Gilmore productions ever put out there.

I thought they called him Happy Madison was the production.

Or happy mat it might be happy mad, Cindy.

Yeah, it's two his two most popular films or whatever.

Oh yeah. So they're gonna put in a chut now to prove that he's actually an alien.

Yep. Uh oh.

So this uh mutant guy in his uniform here is not coated as fascist looking at all, is he?

Oh no, I mean that's no, that's not the blueprint for Nazism right there. What are you kidding me?

A red armband that's just missing a symbol of some sort. Gee, I wonder what he's gonna put on there.

And a black long coat. I'm just saying.

Yeah, with two equal red epaulette things at his chest. Yeah.

And then the gun belt over top of the long coat, nothing fashy about that at all.

Yeah, nothing at all.

See this is what would happen if we actually got mutants. They would just be used for fascism.

Oh of course they would.

And they would go along with it.

Yeah.

That's the thing we're the most lucky about right now.

is that our current fascists that are trying to be in charge

Exactly.

Aren't fit and aren't mutants.

No, th I mean that is maybe the only so the only faint silver lining we have.

Yeah, th they're really bad at being fascist.

Yeah.

I got really nervous and looked over at my recorder to make sure it was still recording just like all the other commentaries, like seven times.

Thank God. Thank God.

I don't have a backup here.

I can't do this past forty minutes again.

Ha ha ha ha.

We keep making that joke.

Look at this prick.

Right now Godzilla is frozen in the ice in the North Pole, right?

Okay.

No, he's frozen and all the other monsters were dormant but then became active and ran amok. And now they

Why does that lady have creepy stare?

Because she's also a zale.

This makes me want to rewatch that old TV series V.

Yeah, right.

Where all the aliens attack Science.

Do we eat a rat?

Yeah.

Well and they're lizard people, you know, so I'm just telling you from the uh prospect of a uh conspiracy theorist, uh that uh That still goes to this day that lizard people run the world.

You remember when conspiracy theories used to be fun and wacky to read about and now they're all just racist and tainted?

Yeah. Yeah. No, we're we're w the real conspiracy theorists are starting to get out of it now. You know, they're starting to get back to the the the fun conspiracy theories of like, you know

You know, Sasquatch, Loch Ness Monster. Uh uh the only unfortunate thing is a lot of uh the the uh Epstein uh uh conspiracy theories are now pointing out to be true, so that that's something a lot of us have to unpack.

Anyone who is shocked that that people who leverage money like they do to become billionaires and basically cheat the rest of the world out of resources and are essentially parasites would then also

That's not shocking to any of us. But uh

Listen to me, if people are capable of doing that in order to get that money, you should not really be shocked at the depths of depravity that they will use that money to get away with because they can.

And again, w none of it you'll never find a a real conspiracy theorist who shocked about the b you know, travesties against uh children uh in the E Steam Files because I think most were like, Yeah, the rich and powerful are sick.

Uh I I think it comes death to th the the cannibalism part that starting to get a lot of us'cause we were like a lot of uh l uh me included, when we started hearing that I'm like, I don't know guys, that sounds a little really over the top. And uh no, it's in there.

So that's great.

See Matt, I've been reading comics written by Frank Miller long enough to know that the depths of depravity that the rich will drop to Yeah.

I gotcha.

And it's not that Frank Miller's done that much commentary. It's just that he likes to indulge in the well, isn't this freaky and gross kind of thing?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And plus, you know, I've read the comic book Happy. I've watched the T V series of Happy. I'm not that shocked that rich people want to do horrible things, including cannibalized children.

Yeah, that's uh

I mean I knew the rich were bad, but uh yeah. Oof.

Yeah, they already made decisions that caused people's deaths just so they could have yet another Mega Yacht.

Bil I know this for a fact. If you're a billionaire, you're not a good person. There's no way you are.

You can't be both.

No way. You cannot be a billionaire and a good person. There's no way.

You have definitely ordered something you're a mob boss at this point. You you've definitely ordered people's murders to be a billionaire.

Or have ordered decisions be made that cause deaths carelessly, like an example.

In a Rico case, a real one in a real government, you'd be in jail forever.

Yeah. Man, can you imagine if those days ever actually show up how fucking crazy the world's gonna get?

Uh um I mean listen, if something actually happens and fucking

y you know, law and order actually becomes real law and order. Uh I'm gonna dance in the fucking streets.

Yeah, I'm

It's nice to think about, but we're never gonna get a Star Trek universe now.

No, no, no. At le I mean maybe we will, but again, it will be well after any generations like after us are already gone too. You know what I mean? Like

Yeah, it's like an Andor. We're planting a tree that we'll never get to watch bare fruit.

Yeah, we're preparing for a sunrise we will never see.

Yep. We share our we share our dreams with ghosts.

Yeah. I burned my life.

I'll never live to see.

One of the greatest monologues in history and it was that one. God damn.

Yeah.

That is so good.

You know, I'm actually open to doing T V series. Obviously not Star Wars because that would be too happy for you. But I'm actually open to doing T V series.

I mean that's mean. Huh? I mean I if we can find V, I mean, uh we were just talking about it.

Oh, I totally do V. I think if we did if we did T V shows, we would do'em in little blocks of like a few episodes here and there. Uh kind of like what we did for Ash vs. Evil Dead.

Yeah, and if you wanna do TV shows, what we would probably wanna do is start with like the made for T V movie mini series.

Oh, yeah.

That's a good starting point.

If you're game to do V, we can do it upright.

Well I already got a name for the series where we do a T V show, you ready?

Are you ready?

T V party and we'll we'll use the the black flag song.

Yeah, and we won't worry about copyright infringement because how punk rock are you if you pull me for pop pop for uh copyright infringement for your punk song.

Yeah, exactly.

Alright, the movie just got way better. Look at this

You little dog.

Oh my god, it's so adorable.

Oh man, goodness.

I wanna scratch his ears. Look at him.

No. He's adorable.

And you know they're aliens because they're not responding to how fucking cute he is. No. Mm poor little guy's got breathing problems.

This is where she's tricksy and false, as uh Smeagol would like to say.

Yeah. Uh w yeah, we could do V, we could do it, the miniseries.

We already did it.

Did we Oh yeah, we did it.

Yeah, it was a bring your own cinematic drama. See, T V movies are still movies to me. I'm talking like actual TV shows.

Yeah.

Like not huge not huge amounts.

Limited series.

W I'm I'm game for that. We'd have to break it up into individual episodes for each part. Like the four parker.

But I would do s the stand from the from the nineties. Alright. I would do that in a second.

Actually I like the idea of uh hitting a couple of miniseries after we do the trucker and car chase movies, so I'm down with that. Uh we'll talk a little more off mic about that, about specifics, but I def the stand is one of my favorite miniseries of all time.

Yeah, same. I love it.

If you wanna hit like the Stephen King miniseries, even the bad ones, I'm game. That'll be fun.

Maybe that's what you should do.

Cool. I'm in. That's uh after the car chase movies that'll be our next minute.

series that were all done like the eighties and nineties and shit. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I'll go all the way up to Rose Red. I don't give a fuck, dude. I'll do it if you

Yeah, the Langoliers.

Oh my god, the CG in the Line Goliath is so rough, but the rest of it is so good.

Yeah, exactly. And it's Dean Stockwell. I mean, come on. Yeah.

Well and what's it uh Bronson Perschnaw or whatever is his name that was uh uh in uh perfect strangers or whatever, like

Yep, yep.

One of the tour de force roles of his life. Like he does such a good job in that.

Yeah, he does.

Don Fry being a badass throwing corpses at people.

Oh yeah.

What's that?

I love when somebody just walks into the middle of something and throws a corpse at people.

That's what you do.

I want to point out Sword Yeah, I want to point out that he's got his sword facing the correct direction.

Yeah.

Under the I the idea for like sword play is like uh

For katanas is you want to keep the blade edge up so that it never rests on the edge and never dulls it to keep it as sharp as possible. And so you'll see a lot of people that when they're carrying their swords, they carry it like that.

And for people that are like really, really into swordplay and want to be like a real dick about it, they'll point out whenever it's the wrong way just to make fun of it.

I like the people screaming.

Then these then these two are just lounging at home.

Yeah, explain.

Well, if that would have cut to me, I would have literally and I saw that for real in in real life, I probably would have been puffing out a big thing of smoke, laughing, going, Huh?

What? See?

Let us know.

Why did that guy's head just explode? Is this a movie or an actual broadcast?

What am I doing?

I like that one scientist hiding behind the music.

Okay. Well she's got the dog.

Yeah, so you gotta protect that puppy because it dorbs.

Yeah.

Alright, so this is our main bad guy now.

¡Ya, ya!

His name is Neo, I think.

I'm a chosen one.

I love that his coat is like half a cape and then half like a chest plate from the first Dune game.

Your real face. Well, you know what? I kinda like this face.

Oh he's gonna cut that shit off.

Not bad for cattle.

Yeah.

I love it whenever Vogue on shot resistance is useless.

Yeah.

Yeah, you never tell Don Fry anything is useless.

Yeah.

Don Fry was a pride fighter. Do you think he's afraid of your stupid alien face?

Right.

Okay, so uh little plot twist coming up here in the fashy world.

Yeah.

No wait.

Here we go. This is important, so here's a clip time.

Stupid.

They need to be taught a lesson sometimes.

What's this?

So All of the mutants except for our main good guy that's a mutant.

Yeah.

can be controlled by the Zalians because the DNA that made them mutants and powerful is Zalian DNA.

Ah I gotcha.

He'll explain it a little bit better later on, but essentially, uh the guy that's dressed like Neo is the agent Smith of this movie.

I gotcha

And here he's gonna explain it.

Oh no, no he doesn't. So the other guy that's a mutant there, um, is also sort of like the one, so he's gonna be the Neo.

Yeah, I got this

Real and that was the Agent Smith that just left. That's literally the same plot line and we don't have to So like when every time you see them fighting it's because this is the matrix and we don't want to watch Kaiju, I guess.

That guy's mustache is glorious though.

Don Fry man. He's the best?

Great.

I love him in this. I don't know anything about his life outside of this movie. I just know I love him in this and I know that he was a former pride fighter. And I think he was a professional wrestler over there. Like for the you know like

Like I know he did the actual pride fighting, but I think he also did like the Japanese style of wrestling uh that's like

That name begins?

Don Fry.

Yeah.

R Y for his last name, yeah. And if you see the mustache, you know you got the right guy.

Yeah.

I don't know, he might have fought I don't know if he fought in the UFC or not. I think he may have. I don't really remember

His nickname was the Predator. Okay, I know Don Fryer.

Yeah.

Yep, he was a professional wrestler as well.

Kind of like a Ken Shamrock thing where one wasn't paying well enough so he went and did the other and then the the one wasn't giving him the kind of satisfaction with his work that he wanted.

The real accolades,'cause they also want real accolades, you know. Yeah.

Not just so they went to wrestling for the money.

Well isn't that what's his name? Angle was like that too, right? He was like an actual like.

Yeah, he was, but he went to wrestling and he didn't even bother with M M A.

No, no, what that what I was talking about is like he was like a full fledged professional gold

Oh, he's a gold medalist. Yeah.

And then he went to professional wrestling because money.

Well yeah, I mean that's just when when his Olympic career was over then he just didn't really know what else to do with his life, so then

I remember liking him in the matches cause he did all the stuff technically correct and all that.

Yeah. Oh no, he's still goes down, he'll go down as one of the better professional wrestlers uh that we do it.

Now, it's technically

Clean now too.

His technical abilities in the ring were terrific.

There is a motorcycle chase coming up here that is absolutely badass. I will say that. Pure yeah, pure and simple. Like it's the one human interest thing that's really cool.

Oof!

Yeah, like this once we get into the action sequences, it's great, but like I don't want this in a kaiju movie. I'd rather have just admit you're a matrix knockoff and leave the kaiju out.

Let's go.

Don't bring your colour.

It's been a long time since we've had any kaiju and that's starting to bother me.

Oh, I'm real upset about it. We're about fifty four minutes into this and the last time we had Kaiju was at like thirty seven minutes straight.

Yeah.

Alright, so here's the motorcycle chase with fight. That's actually pretty incredible.

It's all right.

It makes me shut the fuck up about the human interest story in this, for sure. I cannot deny how fucking good this is.

And this frenetic editing editing style that this director has, this is what it's meant for, is this style of production.

Alright.

If you've ever seen Versus folks, you know that this is like a thing that this guy loves doing.

Oh yeah.

Why'd you throw that? You know, you can recharge it, you can reload.

Reload guns? I don't Oof. I don't know man, that seems really irresponsible too, just to leave guns out on the goddamn road.

Yeah. And here's Don Fry with his badass samurai sword. That's a longer one. That might be I think it's Nadochi is what that's called. No, Nadochi's the underwear. It's um

Yeah. That's underwear. Uh sh

I know it starts with an N, but it's like a longer sword that's shaped sort of like a uh samurai sword or like a ninja sword. Like there's ninja swords are shorter and more straight, you know, for like yeah covert assassin work as far as I understand it. And then

The samurai sword is curved more and longer for the dual purposes. And then the other one is like a bigger battle sword that's like really

huge.

And I've wanted one of those for a really really long time just for collectors' sake.

Alright, this is the part I was talking about that's really incredible though. This is this stunt is nuts. I can't believe they did this.

Let's see this. What are they doing? Oh!

He's got like the skate shoes.

There w yeah, but this is an actual stunt man just dragging himself along like Really? Yeah.

They may have done a there's a couple scenes where it's an actual stuntman being dragged along that you see where they're actually really in motion. And then some of this might be match shots with the actual actors. But check this out.

I don't care how they did this, this looks fucking cool.

How's anybody steep? Oh then he rocked it. Who's the good guy, who's the bad guy? I've already lost

The bad guy's off the bike running and kicking, the good guy and flying at the good guy, and the good guy's still on his bike.

Oh used the bike guy hi him

Yeah, he eated him backwards with the bike. Put him on his butt.

See this matrixy rip off stuff is kinda cool. This is where the director's bread and butter is, is this kind of stuff.

So if you want to watch this guy in his pleather outfit

Oh, here we go.

Yep, he's releasing Murder Chicken, the original version.

Chicken.

Now this is sort of an updated version of Gaigan murder chicken and it looks fucking sweet. Do not get

Is that RoboGu?

again? No, he's supposed to be cybernetic in the other movies as well.

Okay.

But in this they made it more obvious that he's a cybernetic creature. Look how fucking cool this sculpt is.

That's one of the vinyl figures I had to buy was this Guy Gan and then the final form Guy Gan from this movie I also bought.

And I'm debating on which one I want to get the tattoo of, so remember how this one looks and when you see the final form, you can kinda like help me make the decision. You know what I mean?

I mean I'm still gonna do what I'm gonna do, and I'm leaning one specific way, but you'll help me like either reinforce that or make me double question it.

'Cause this origin this uh like original look that's just a little updated for Gygan is pretty fucking sweet.

Yeah.

I mean look all the spikes and shit, he's so badass.

Yeah, they gave him more powers too.

Everybody gets super powered up and Godzilla just still murders them in seconds when he shows up.

Of course no.

That's the only

Gotzilla.

That's the only thing that's disappointing about this is literally Godzilla murders all of his opponents within

I will say this.

I love that captain's chair. That's good. I like having a good council around my captain's chair.

Yeah, the inside of the ship is was really cool.

Oh yeah, they're dead now. Ah You know you guys probably could have avoided the building. That's just me.

Good old Angiris.

Oh man off the fucking Gone.

It blew it all up!

Yeah. Entire civilization's about to be wiped out.

Is this where the wake up comes? God, we have an hour of this thing left.

Yeah, so I will give you this, Matt, since you haven't watched this before. Whenever Don Fry's crew starts getting into a ship.

It won't be that much longer for Godzilla to get woken up because that's what Don Fry decides to do, so it's his choice.

Gotcha. Until then you're gonna be watching a little bit of baby Godzilla and it's gonna be weird.

Ugh, good God. Okay.

So they do the thing they do a thing in this where that baby Godzilla can grow bigger and shrink back down. Um kinda like how they had'em do it in the one where the kid fantasizes about going to Monster Island.

meets manila and I was never a fan of that.

But when they include it in this, I don't really like everything else is just so over the top and weird it doesn't even register with me. And I seriously never remember that the old man and that kid find a Manila.

Clip time.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, the one I said looked like Atragon is called the Matango in this.

Yeah.

But it's atragon.

That was a guy that he just fought, right? I'm I'm lost in all these people. Yeah, it is the guy he just fought.

Because we're a team.

Uh

I just can't get over the ridiculousness of the clear plastic over the black. That just doesn't look good. I don't know why they made that choice.

Did I lose you?

No, I'm still sorry.

No problem. Just wanted to make sure.

Here we go.

Let's wake up Godzilla.

Oh, they froze him in the South Pole.

Uh huh.

That way he doesn't fuck up Santa Claus's chi.

That's right,'cause god damn it, if we don't get presents, what's the point?

But he's got a point.

You know what? Don Fry's fucking spittin' in this day and age that we're working in right now, him saying

We're looking good.

It's the same with the mutant.

Yeah, here's where they explain it. There we go. M base. The mutants use the M same M base that the kaiju have. That's how they're more superhuman.

This lady loves her red jacket.

Yeah there's something.

There's a lot of pleather in this and that's how they identify the characters is their specific colored pleather outfit pieces.

Yeah.

Well that's a pleathered.

Yeah, he's got a suede sort of like overcoat. That's the normal uniform thing for this dude.

Again.

Yeah, there's a really great line that Don Fry has later on that I really enjoyed.

We're flashing back to The thing we've seen at the beginning.

He's the one that fired the shots.

Yeah.

The world was ruined and the war is already lost.

Now there's the matter of pride.

Yeah, it's a matter of pride. Come on, Cort. Don't you have pride?

I do love that. It's up to us whether we die hiding or we die fighting. You would go. Yeah.

See this part is fucking cool. This is good human interest stuff.

Like,

It's just the plan. I don't mind seeing the humans plan. It's just everything else in the goddamn thing. Yeah. Why is this a two hour long movie? This hour thirty. That's all you needed for this.

Yeah, you could have kind of

Tell your story.

Could have cut out a lot of the mutants trying to go after Kaiju and stuff like that and you didn't need it. I mean, we would have lost all that fun Ebra stuff, you know?

No, Ebra actually smashing things and like looking at the suit is what I'm talking about. Not the not the them firing weapons at him and doing their hopping around. That was more or less distracting me for the fun.

Of course.

And then the Angiris fighting the ship, uh that was really, really cool.

That looks like if it were an actual turd it would be a very uncomfortable one to relieve yourself from

Right. Yeah, what's Darren doing up there?

It was Dan. I think that made that joke.

Oh Dan.

You come back, okay? Safe and sound.

See ya, sweetheart.

Alpha system exploded.

Ready.

The model work is really good too.

The compositing here looks great.

Alright, so the ship's getting launched. They're gonna let Godzilla go.

After a full hour of setup, we're finally getting Godzilla back on screen.

Jesus Christ.

There we fucking go.

Godzilla has less screen time in this film than a lot of the other films.

Yeah, you are.

Of the human race.

No pressure guys.

No pressure.

Oh they said the title.

He's in it. He's in the nail. I did it. I love you.

What he should have said is What he should have said is we're gonna go get Godzilla Final Wars.

Final wars.

It's time for the wars, everyone. The final wars.

So yeah, I guess after that battle with Mant uh Manda, they decommissioned the Matango and then it got repaired.

For this to happen.

Ah, this poor scientist lady.

Yeah, pretty much every city has been destroyed.

Hey look, the fascist dude.

Is dead. Good.

No, he's just damaged.

That's a different dude. That wasn't the fascist dressed up dude. The fascist dressed up dude was actually our hero, I think.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know what the hell's going on anymore.

Do not care.

'Cause that guy's got a long coat. I don't know, he's dressed like a fascist.

Not all long coats are fascist.

Well I know,'cause I wear a long winter coat, but damn it. I you would you add the fucking armbands to it, just saying.

Yeah, don't put armbands on your coats.

No.

Here's a little bit of a reference back to like Son of Godzilla era with the the Hawaiian shirts, the little baby.

And then the funky uh music going on in the background.

So I think Monarch borrowed pretty heavily from this where they have facilities monitoring and making sure that kaijus stay dormant.

But I like it.

My uh my wife really wants to watch uh that stuff.

Oh, the monarch series?

Really?

And then sh she saved it, so she wants to really watch that.

Uh y it really ties into the movies, so you kinda have to follow the movies for like what they set up for the plot line.

Yeah. It also jumps around in time before all of the movies. So uh as long as you're pretty caught up on the Monsterverse movies, the Monsterverse T V series will work for you just fine.

She'll probably enjoy it.

Oh yeah. I mean she's seen them all, right? So she should know.

I mean, she knows enough.

Also, I mean most people are just watching it'cause Kurt Russell and Wyatt Russell are both in there being super hot and playing the same character young and old.

Yeah, that's true.

Like most people are watching it'cause they're super hot. I'm watching it because they're playing the same character young and old and I think that's cool.

I mean that's a ingenious way to do it.

Yeah,'cause they look exactly the fucking same.

He doesn't look very much like his mom at all. He looks so much more like his dad. All he really got was his mom's hair color, I think, and that's it.

Yeah, so here's our badass flying version of Gygan that can really do some damage.

I don't and he's trying to stop them from unleashing Godzilla.

See I don't even mind the ships fighting the kaiju because we're pretty used to that with the super axe and all of that kind of stuff.

I mean a as long as there's a kind jewel route, man, we haven't had one in a while.

Yeah. And you're winning me back by bringing Guy Gan back in for this.

Alright. They're winning us back.

They just thawed out the Duke and you know how pissed off he's gonna be.

अहाँ, I just thought out the Duke.

Yep, there you go.

First thing Godzilla does when he wakes up is he fucking murders a kaiju.

Yeah, so you know he's pissed off'cause he's cold blooded and living off of uh atomic energy and he's been frozen in the tund in

Oh you play all right, motherfuckers.

Yeah.

I'm real tired of everyone's soreshit today.

I feel bad for these guys.

Oh yeah, they're gonna just die, huh?

Uh oh. And he was like, What the fuck was that? He literally Godzilla woke up and chose violence. Literally.

Well one doesn't wake up and choose one.

You remember the thing that I said about when Godzilla uses his atomic breath to kill things and how fast like all the fights end when he does? Okay. This movie is the one that I told you about how it's actually really disappointing when he kills them too fast.

It's not happening yet, but when it does happen you're gonna be like, Wow, that was really quick.

Well he just did it now.

Yeah, see?

Holy shit!

The one director who got it right where he was like, No, the atomic breath would pretty much just murder everything really fast.

My robot chicken, I guess.

Yeah Your first mistake was bringing a guy Gan to a Godzilla fight.

Here, I love this speech.

You don't know about the earth. One is me.

And the other is Godzilla.

It'll be a pleasure to take.

Meanwhile, your Godzilla can deal with...

That dramatic gesture means he's bringing in more monsters.

And God says that was like, oh good. I'm hungry.

Yeah. Seriously, if you run a timer, I think it's like fifteen minutes of screen time for Godzilla in total, and counting all the times that he murders everybody. Like all the other kaiju, like it's that little a time.

You guys like alright I'm gonna kill you guys they're like oh fuck Yeah we need you guys to uh send some reinforcements of other monsters so he kills something else.

Yeah, so I think they're gonna start doing the thing that uh you you get where they're trying to lead him to the next battle and not get killed like in a Freddy versus Jason.

Uh yeah, yeah.

Where they go to get Jason to fight Freddie for.

I uh I gotcha.

Not really go to get'em, but try to get'em to fight.

The only thing we won't get in this is a good old-fashioned Sirizawa, let them fight action.

Uh

Only weapons in the monster verse.

Darn it.

where we are.

Maybe God's like me neither man.

You're about to see one of the most ridiculous things that also became a really funny meme from this movie. And it has to do with that grandpa, that kid and that Manila.

Ha ha ha.

Every time this guy shows up on screen it kills my mood.

Here's your sum forty one score for another kaiju murder.

Ah oh yep, here we go. Time to get real disrespectful.

Yeah, um I don't know how to say this, but it ain't gonna last long.

Yep, tail flap like Godzilla would do.

Yep. And then again. Oh man.

Again, they show just how powerful this atomic wreath truly is.

Well who knew aliens would throw temper tantrums

That's why I always call it Zilla Tunahead.

by the way. Yeah. Tunahead wasn't up to bud shit. God damn. Well, we disrespected their whole entire thing, so might as well do it to us.

Here's the funny thing though, after Zila's appearance in this movie.

Tans started warming up to him as a kaiju in the Godzilla universe in this context, and he shows up in some of the fighting games and everything. That's a

Did you see that web? It's a specialist cock kubu cocky there.

Oh my god. Uh he's gotta get checked out. Yeah. Your shit should be yellow.

Yeah, but also it shouldn't form webs automatically like that.

Really cool superpower.

Yeah I don't know what that hole looks like, but

Oh I know what that looks like.

Oh god's like yeah you're done

Yeah this should be just instead of Final Wars this should have just been called Godzilla Kills the Kaiju Universe.

Yeah, yeah

I don't know, Spika might a li Spika might have lived through that, but probably not.

Uh probably not.

That's a heck of a freaking threat.

Oh, he may have lived through it, but he ain't happy.

He ain't coming back to be more trouble till later.

No. He's like, you know what, I'm done.

I for one am not gonna listen to my alien overlords now.

Godzilla doesn't care about your plans.

Nope.

And he's not protecting Earth, he just hates all of these other kaiju.

He just hates everything. So he sees what he

He hates kaiju more He hates kaiju more than he hates um human syllabus.

Well probably because he's like bullshit, that's my fucking job to kill all the humans. See what the fuck are you guys doing? Yeah.

The one weird thing about this Godzilla is the little ears they put on him.

This is like the only Godzilla sculpt that has like ears, ears that I can think of.

That is true.

I don't mind it.

Oh I thought he was gonna rip the arms off. I was gonna be like that's it.

Great.

Uh oh.

He akido threw him into spiking himself so that now he's not a problem.

It's got to be.

He's one tough dude.

I do have a

That Godzilla's what tough dude.

I do have this uh sculpt of Godzilla or this particular suit as an action figure as well. I bought just about everything that was in the neck a line because they were relatively affordable and the Godzilla's were really cool.

Great.

Although I've heard they've had quality control issues, but when I buy mine I always made sure that I bought them direct from NECA.

Yeah.

So that I was like, uh guys, you sent me this and it's all messed up if that happened. And I always lucked out from ordering directly from them.

But I yeah. I it's always better to order direct.

Yeah. Especially for the collectibles.

Yeah.

But also NECA was having their stuff produced somewhere overseas. So a bunch of a bunch of knockoffs of their sculpts were being produced.

And released too. And I think that's yeah. Like I think that's where people were kind of running into it that uh you know, the figures weren't that great because they were the knockoff versions that some people were getting.

Bye.

Or bootlegs of them.

That makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

Yeah, you alright? I mean the world's gone.

I mean I'm not all right now'cause you stopped bringing kaiju fights and we got forty eight minutes left and how much of this do I have to put up with before more kaiju fights?

Exactly.

What are you gonna tell me how much you love each other again? Fucking lame.

Man, we got a lot of stuff planned out already. Like to do th those miniseries are gonna be a while. We're gonna be on those for a while. Maybe we should do that as like we'll do one and then we'll go back to like regular movies and then we'll go and do the other miniseries.

Cause I the more I think about it, the more I'm like an entire series of those is gonna be a lot of work and we're gonna probably need to break them up.

Yeah, that's gonna be a lot.

Yeah. I can't believe you didn't remember that we covered it already.

I know, I can't believe that either.

Weird.

We haven't done the new version of it, so that's a possibility.

I mean maybe but I mean I don't know. We already did with Tim Curry it, that's all you need.

Yeah. Tim Curry is the Pennywise for a lot of people. Bill Skarsgar's Pennywise is pretty fucking terrifying though.

Yeah. No, no, no. I I'm not saying that. I'm just I won't let go of my youth.

No, I still love that to this day. I still watch that version of it every now and then. Here we go. This is the thing I was talking about.

Oh god.

ヘッヘッヘッヘッヘッヘッヘッ What the hell are they doing?

Letting the Kai's trying to drive.

Drive, Kaiju, drive!

Another grandma's boy reference.

No, the graph.

I'm way too baked to drive to the devil's house.

Man that sculpt for Godzilla is great. And the Angierus looks really good too.

Uh oh.

Yeah, I've pretty much already decided that all the sculpts from this movie are good enough to be kaiju tattoos, pretty much I like the looks enough.

But you know, the rest of the movie I'm not as big.

Kaiju action for most of our

Yeah, I made the mistake of thinking that this would be the one that I should show to Bev because it has all of the kaiju in it and it's you know a little more modern so she'd be able to appreciate them more.

And then the movie does stuff like this where Not killing three kaiju at once.

Yep, sliding to a stop. Godzilla.

Yeah.

Clearly this Godzilla has been studying some martial arts.

That's...

He's no longer doing the bold rustling moves, he's doing like a keto flips and stuff.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

uh now we got pro wrestling he's got a a nice suplex body toss there onto Anguirus. That would have hurt.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Get out the car, you fucking kaiju trying to drive. You don't even know how.

I think it's funny that the kaiju figured out how to open the door for them.

Yeah.

Yeah, it'd be funny if Manila gets killed too, if Godzilla's that fucking pissed off.

Yeah, right.

Uh oh.

Yeah, that can't be best.

Nope. Oh

Yep, two kaijus at once. He can't fight them both at the same time.

Right into him.

Yeah. I just think that this Godzilla has been practicing knocking things out of the air with his tail because he seems really good.

And now they're soccer balling Angirus at him. At each other. Oh, he missed the goal.

He got the goal.

Up all this life!

This King Caesar sculpt is really great too.

Yeah, he does they do all three of these characters really dirty. All three kaiju get done real dirty in this fight.

Oh man, stack em and mend em. That's all he does.

Just wait.

And yeah, here we see him

Cheers.

The smoke rings. They never stop with.

Now this was a decision that was certainly made.

What the hell?

I remember I told you he grows? Yeah, he grows.

And becomes like you know, full size, not just human sized to run around with them.

Oh.

It's weird.

That is weird.

I'm not sure I even like the design for the alien ship. It's like it wants to be a phantasm ball, but it can't make up its mind.

Yeah, right?

surprised they didn't go with like a big saucers like Independence Day.

Or just a giant cube like from Star Trek Generation.

Yeah, like the board.

Yeah, like a board cube but like the really big one from like the later Star Trek movies. Yeah.

Yeah, all of this stuff like I I'm not saying anything'cause I'm like, well what do I even comment? Yeah.

What do we even say right now?

Yeah. It's more of that frenetic editing, it's more of that hard to follow style stuff.

So this guy apparently got cured by getting his ass kicked from being controlled by the Zalian and now he's gonna join up, I guess, is what you're hinting at.

Why not?

Oh, it has a maser on the drill.

It's a maser.

And a blazer.

And a blazer.

Identify who it is!

Yeah, we are an hour and twenty-two minutes into this and we've had very little kaiju fight.

Design.

He's like, hey everyone.

He's gonna be able to do that.

Yep.

Hello boys! I'm back!

Is that the Randy Quaid line before he died?

Yep. Yeah. Randy Quaid, before he became really insane.

Or before we knew how insane he really was, I don't know which was which.

That's also true. Cause he could've always been this crazy.

You don't pick the kind of roles that he picked.

Right.

And not be a little nutty.

Yeah.

That Quaid family, I tell you.

I don't know, Dennis Quaid seems like he was okay. I don't know if I never really heard any stories about him.

Oh he's he's major trumper.

Oh really? That's makes me sad.

Dennis Quaid? Yeah. He came out as a major trumper.

Trump's a great president, looks up for the little guy, all that horseshit.

Was that in the first term or just recently?

Uh just recently he came out like that. Uh but I'm uh under the belief he's always been that way. But I heard it like right before Trump's current presidency, like when they're during the election and everything.

Well it's one of those like Zachary Levy endorsements that breaks your heart when it happens, I gotcha.

Exactly.

I wonder how Dennis Quaid is dealing with that. His or Dennis Quaid's kid, Jack, is dealing with that.

He's like I love my dad but I he's said I love my dad but I just don't agree with his deals and what we voted for.

Yeah, I can't say I blame him.

Yeah.

See this stuff is okay.

It's not kaiju interview.

Yeah, well it's early twenty aughts still, so Yeah. I mean twenty four two thousand and four still had some rough C D here and there.

I don't know, I think I like the console chair in this ship just a little bit more, even though it's very similar to the other one that you said you liked.

Yeah.

I still think I should have built a TARDIS to be my recording studio desk. A TARDIS click.

'Cause I could throw all the shit that I needed to actually have it operate into the console.

Yeah, right.

But then I'd have to stand up to record because I couldn't sit at the TARCI.

Yeah. No, I guess that's true. I always thought about set up when uh my son was younger and really into Doctor Who setting up a uh TARDIS console for him. It's a little fun play thing.

Yeah, you could just basically build it out of like leftover switches and things. It doesn't really have to look like anything in particular.

Exactly.

Unless you're trying to mimic a certain what what do they call it in the

He would have been fine just with a m Matra.

Although she's going to die too.

What?

She's probably going to die too.

Oh yeah. But I mean she's good bro, right?

Maybe. Here's Hattera.

Oh.

Hetera's a difficult sculpt to get right.

He just killed a hetero with an Ebera.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Yeah, he just threw a Ebera into a Hetera.

and stabbed it with the claws. Now that's a good death.

Right.

Yeah, a lot of these he defeats, but he doesn't actually necessarily kill all of them, but then he does kill some of them.

I always remember this that he literally kills all of them. Like he just burns them alive after they're all done.

Uh oh. Don Fry's in there with his creepy necklace.

Is that a Kaiju tooth? I think that's a Kaiju.

Yeah.

He seems like the kind of guy that would carry a kaiju too.

You definitely have a kaijo tooth, yeah.

I'll stab you with my Godzilla tooth.

Yeah.

There's two things you don't know about me or the the earth me and this kachu tooth I'm gonna stab you with.

Mm-hmm.

She's gonna wanna sword fight him.

He made the mistake of bringing the katana to a laser sword fight.

Yeah, right.

Tells me he's he's gonna wreck this bitch.

Um yeah, well he's Don Fry. He's about to go shirtless and kill a bunch of people with a sword, I'm sure.

Yeah, asshole.

I think he's the only person in a Godzilla universe that's allowed to swear at people like that.

That's it.

Yeah.'Cause they try to keep them pretty hip sided.

Did have a cigar hanging out of his mouth too.

Oh I know. He's the type of guy that needs to be chomping on a cigar and slashing people with his sword, right?

Exactly.

You've got that right for sure.

You know that mic arm that I was using that made all the noise when we were doing the commentaries in the studio? Yeah. I have moved it so many times during this commentary and without you here it has not made a single sound and I don't it's only noisy when you're around it. It's weird.

You used to

It is what it is.

Well, I still blame you.

Well, Danny, I've decided now every time we do any kind of commentary shows, I'm gonna do it under the guise of that filler time and we're gonna use the filler time song for that.

Yeah. Because, you know,

I had to Yeah, I had to I had to have that made with my lyrics, so um I'm gonna use it again and again.

I don't care. I mean like the older themes I I used for an entire year and I got so stick sick like sick of them I didn't want to hear them again.

Yeah. You know, but that one I'm gonna use again.

I would.

Every time we do a commentary it's a filler.

It's a fun goddamn song. Yeah.

I'm gonna try for each of our I'm gonna see if I can well, first of all, kind of afford it, but I'm gonna see if I can get a song created for lyrics for every

basically like subsets. So when we have our trucker movies I'm gonna try and we'll do one that's themed for that.

Um pre and post nineteen eighty you'll have the same thing.

Amen.

And then uh the car chase movies will have their own themes and that'll be pre and post. Um

Yeah.

I'm not sure exactly what I'll do, but we'll we'll come up with something.

We'll figure it out

Yeah.

So is there anything left? Uh oh.

Here's a new monster. This is I think they call him Monster X. And if you look at him, you know exactly what he's gonna transform into if you look at his head and his two like shoulder epaulette things that are sticking up or pads.

Well he's already an alien, but look at his head and the way he's sculpted.

What do you think he's gonna turn into, Matt?

Oh he's gonna turn to King Kidora.

Yep. But I'm looking I'm trying to find there's vinyl figures you can buy of Godzilla and this one's really hard for to come by in America for the Monster X and I've been trying to get it.

I've been buying the Toho vinyl sculpts that are less expensive because I can't believe how detailed they actually have made them recently. When I used to look at them, like even just a few years ago, they weren't that nice, but some of them Now.

Yeah, this Monster X is actually uh

Oh yeah, he's giving them some problems.

And it's cool looking. This is a cool design. This thing is scary.

It is.

I think your face is rubbing against your mic there.

Sorry nah, I was picking at my eye.

Ah, I can hear it.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is literally the first monster they put up against this Godzilla that has given him any trouble because we're coming up on the end.

Yeah, that's actually made him feel a little something here.

And when I say coming up on the end of the film, we still have thirty four minutes left. Why is there thirty four minutes left in this movie?

the same.

Hopefully Mothra's here to help Godzilla. Because I don't want to watch Mothra die again. But you know Mothra's probably gonna sacrifice herself to save.

And also I don't want to see Matra try to you know become evil.

Yeah, I don't want Mothra to be evil.

Monster has never been evil.

Here's the final form of Gagan, and this is the one I want to get the tattoos of.

Oh okay.

I mean, for obvious reasons, right? The chainsaw hands are fucking awesome.

Oh no, he's gonna yep, he's coming after Mothra.

Yeah. So Mothra's gonna sacrifice herself.

to take out Gygan probably. Or get taken out by Gygaan but weaken him. I forget how that happens. This Gygan is fucking sweet. That's the one I want to kind of get my tattoo of.

If I get a guy again tattoo, it's this one. But I do like the other design with the hook hands still. But come on man, who chainsaw hands, right?

Yeah, chainsaw hats. I mean the court.

Oh, he used the uh Mageiris attack.

Stabbed her in the abdomen or thorax with his tail.

Oh shit!

Man, that's not cool. Mothers gone.

Mobster's dead.

That was just wrong.

Fuck.

They did Mothra dirty. At least Godzilla didn't kill Mothra though.

Yeah, but they did moth with real dirty.

Well, Exiliens and Mutants are similar.

Thank you for explaining this to us.

Yes, thank you.

And M-based levels affects the level of telepathic ability.

So the commonly

We also wear guy liner, a lot of guy liner.

Very important our alien culture.

Free base is more commonly found among Earth than M base.

Yeah.

Oh here we go.

Yeah. Kaiser.

Okay.

Yeah, he's explaining how it works.

Hey man, your collar's a bit big too, I'm just saying.

It's so happens that

Is he mispronouncing Caesar? Is that what he's doing? He's a Kaiser, he's mispronouncing Caesar.

Ich denke so.

That's a fallout joke, folks.

Well you're not you're Roman, not German, so it would be Caesar.

Caesar.

Oh man.

I really love El Prinel's role, like her character work and So great.

Uh oh.

This is a legitimate threat. This monster acts as a legitimate.

Well I mean it's King Ghidorah for the most part.

Yeah, it's a uh King Ghidorah in a human suit look for him.

Hey, King Kidora has always been kind of a big threat to the

Multiple types.

Yeah, that guy Gan's fucking cool.

Yeah.

I see, I knew you I knew when you saw it you'd be like, Yeah, that's the one to get the tattoo of.

That's the one would be yeah, that guy Gaddis definitely. Yeah. Especially

I bought both the vinyl figures of the Gygans from this film.

But I always mess with the one with the chainsaw hands more.

Like I always pick it up and look at it and go, this one's so cool.

Psh, it's the bath.

I wonder if I could get a final war sculpt of uh.

Some of the other folks.

Calling me fucking cattle. Show you fucking cattle.

Oh boy.

Uh oh.

I think this is a setup. He's faking it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that guy can't so cool dude.

Yeah, I mean look at that thing. The sods, the everything.

And it makes sense that Guy Gan would be fighting with King Ghidorah because that's I mean Kingodoro was in every movie that Gygan was in pretty much.

But also King Ghidorah was in just a

Ha ha Hey, Mantra's back!

Oh, she did a double takedown flyby like they do to Godzilla from time to time.

Yeah.

He's like stop helping me. I can do this.

I'm a man.

Oh no.

Dagger?

Didn't the Maker Fairies give that to her?

And yet no moth are singing.

No.

Bummer.

No no yeah, we're the twins singing.

Twins showed up for a little bit. I think they gave that little magic dagger or whatever it was plot device.

and then they got the hell out of there

Yeah, and then they yeet it off screen.

Oh nothing. You were just trying to choke out Don Fry and somehow we're strong enough to do it.

And by the way, Dom Fry will always remember this.

You want the nap, bro?

He will get his vengeance on you.

I wanna see Mothra take off a piece of Gygain like she had done to her.

I don't know how she's standing in the air with her wings all clipped, but whatever.

Man, this guy Ganon is fucking deadly. Yeah, this one's really cool. This one's the good one to get the tattoo of.

Really good guy, Gan.

Well, really bad, but

Yeah, well I mean but really good. Really good at being really bad.

Yeah. This is an excellent design for a Gygan, for sure.

Yeah.

The biomechanical kaiju is really cool.

And he looks the most murderousy of all mur murder chickens.

Holy sh- Oh, what the hell's Chapit?

What I didn't even notice w oh, oh, cause fucking Mothra went super cyan.

Damn.

No, I think he fired the blades at Mothra. They missed and came back and cut off his own head and then she flew in while on fire and exploded him.

See I knew Mothra was gonna sacrifice herself. That's what people always have her do

Yeah.

And he is truly the one.

Well, he just went full ma you don't go full matrix.

Yeah, he went full Neo where he can control.

You would full Neo.

He can control their bullets with his superpowers.

If they go to his eyes that he sees nothing but like numbers, I'm gonna be like, Come on guys.

No, I don't think they're gonna go that far.

No.

At least I hope not.

So the aliens are gonna have a final smackdown fight in the middle of the ship while we're not watching Godzilla actually fight.

This is why we're going to do it.

I just wanna see uh the man uh uh fight with his sword.

Yeah, Don Fry have a little fight.

Yeah, so we got twenty seven minutes left. Yeah. And we're right back to f more fucking

More human shit.

Yeah, fighting with their you know, flair and panache that they do.

And again I don't hate this stuff, it just doesn't really I don't want to see this.

to go with this movie.

No, it doesn't fit right. It doesn't feel right at all. No.

It feels like they took two separate movies and smashed them together.

Yeah, yeah, well that's kinda how ver the guy who did verses works, right? That's kind of how like like I said, it's very frenetic, it's very weird paced, and the editing is jumping around like this, right?

Meanwhile, while that fight's happening, let's take you back to the actual kaiju battle you want to see.

Ha ha And back to your regularly scheduled kaiju battle.

Yeah, and it feels like there's more stuff that they shot for the battle that they didn't even include here.

Because like we come in and like stuff is already in progress and Godzilla's already getting the upper hand.

She shouldn't have rolled into the person with a sword like that.

No, right?

You think Don Fry was like, yeah, just go ahead and hit me to all the actors because he can take it?

There's a lot of pro wrestlers that were like that.

I don't think it's not a good thing.

Dom Fry sitting there like this. Uh you know this is real, I kill everyone in this room, right?

But it's like uh Keith David and Rowdy Piper, I do not think were actually pulling punches like to make it look more realistic. I think they were actually you know, like it was only when they were doing the stunts that could like really hurt them, like dropping on the street and stuff. Yeah. That they did.

I think you're right.

'Cause that really like some of the

though wrestlers if they do it right they're gonna be like you shouldn't ever even touch me

The mat stomp, yeah.

Yes. More wrestlers take more um uh pride in like yeah, when you take their move you never feel it.

Like you just got up and you you don't even feel nothing. When you even no matter what move of theirs you're taking. There's the pride in wrestling.

Yeah, because they can do that, make it look like it's something that really, really hurts, and then actuality it's just a stunt.

Yeah. That's what everyone says about Yokozuna. You you there it was like, Oh, you took a bonsai drop, what was it like? And they're like, You never felt it.

Yeah, he made it look like he was sitting on it, you never felt it.

That's incredible that he could do that. That's incredible.

Yeah.

See, I always just assumed and this probably cause I still stick to Kfabe in my childhood heart.

That they actually did stuff, but they actually could take the abuse. I mean, there's actual like cutting for blood and stuff.

There there are times where they are having to take stuff.

It does hurt them, you know, but but it then it's sometimes done an accident. Back body drops, you can't really stop. Like anything if you're landing on your back that you're just your back's taking the shit. Yeah.

But if you know how to land your back like stunt people know how to land and not hurt their back like that too. So

Yeah, but over time it won't matter.

Oh yeah, yeah. You can you you you got so many drops in you, right? Yeah. You got so many like pile drivers, you know, before you get unlucky. There's so many stunts you can do before something's gonna get your hurt. That's the way it works.

Oh, is he gonna sa yeah sacrifice himself now?

Uh I think what he said was what he truly believes. He'd rather die fighting than die hiding, so he's going in for more.

The subtroop outfits are kinda cool. The like sort of TLP with the black highlights. I don't mind those.

But again, I still think these outfits are stupid.

These two specifically.

Very stupid.

They're only looking like this because the Matrix was a thing that existed. I think pleather coats look like garbage bags most of the time.

They I mean they do.

I'm just waiting for you to make even more references to the guy from uh Grandma's Boy that uh JD

Later, turd nuggets. Uh he wants to do fist fights. Let's go.

H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

They're aliens. Okay. They're wearing people faces, but they may not have

I okay, alright, alright.

Besides, I don't think Don Fry's gonna be a good thing.

Canceling me now.

I just

Your wokeness.

I just don't think Don Fry's gonna have a problem punching a woman, is what I'm saying.

I believe Don Fry's belief in that is, well, why can't I punch her in the face? I mean she has a face.

I y it dawns like this. Hey listen, I'm not sexist. I'll punch anybody.

They're stepping up the end of fight, of course you

I mean, listen, these women are they can do whatever men can do, including catch these hands.

Well, she struck him first, so that's fair game for him to defend himself.

Yeah.

Oh.

Jesus Christ, man, all right.

Yeah, see she was an alien.

But he's still only open handed.

Yeah, that's a bit sexist, right? The way that they did that. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean he should have just pulled on punched her. Saying like should have said something like Lady, you ain't no woman.

Hey, karate chopped her in the neck and knocked her out.

He keeps saying this, but nobody's acting like they are.

You keep calling us cattle. I I don't know, man.

Uh oh, they made him bleed his own blood. Nobody makes him bleed his own blood.

We keep referencing these movies. We'll probably have to cover those eventually.

I know, like dodgeball, grandma's boy.

I would totally cover grandma's boy, but I mean it's a danger because you could clip the whole fucking movie.

Yeah, well that's yeah, that would probably be more of one to do a commentary on.

We're not cattle. We're humans.

I think the new one is Kaiser Ghidorah or whatever. They call him something different, but it's basically King Ghidorah.

Yeah.

Oh see now he's extra superpowered because he powered up with that golden light.

He's gone full Neo, he's realized that numbers in the main

Break you.

That seems like an unnecessary flip.

Oh, the Godzilla do the same.

This reminds me of Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom where Indies punch in the big guard that abused all the kids.

It's short rounds.

Is punching the prince kid that's like torturing in D. Yeah.

That was a cool shot actually, I like that.

It's the one time the human fighting element.

Can we get back to the kaiju fighting now?

That's why I liked it. I got to watch Cot Godzilla fight beaten on the other kaiju.

Yeah, why cut away from all the stuff that people came for is all the kind.

I just don't get it.

Like this is so dumb.

Nobody came for any of this.

This was so dumb. This flying through the

If you want to see this I'd watch the Matrix.

If I wanted to see this I'd watch a fucking anime that that Matrix was influenced by.

Yeah, right. Whatever.

I still like it.

The matrix, I watch the matrix.

Yeah, it's I still like the first matrix, but

Yeah, that was so dumb. All the flying through the air, like just pointless.

Yeah, right.

Oh now I think yeah, I think they call him Kaiser Ghidorah on this, I really don't remember anymore.

That maniacal laugh.

Yeah, right.

Eighteen minutes and we gotta wait for even more kaiju fights. Jesus, come on man.

Hurt my feelings.

Self-destructing!

Uh-oh, it's self-destructing!

Oh wow, this ship and I have that in common.

Yeah, I'm self-destructing too almost every day.

I'm self-destructing right before your very eyes, sir.

Commander!

The laser guns are kinda cool looking in their design, but the laser firing is a little leaving a little something to be desired.

Yeah, I remember they replaced him. Well this is the real him alive now. Yeah.

He's like, let's go. Stop sitting there enjoying yourselves.

This is a cloud.

I love how Don Fry's carrying a sword with him through the entire movie but he never

Never once fucking used it.

It's like his emotional support sword.

I gotta have it with me. It's important.

First time I killed a man was at this thing.

Yeah, he's gonna fire or he's gotta stab it into a column to fight, but he'll never use it.

To you that uh that samurai sword?

Bro, you can't fly.

That samurai sword is uh belonged to some other guy who tried to kill him with it. And so he killed him and then took it as a trophy.

That's why it's important to'em.

Up, finally got it to make that noise.

Yeah.

Now she's gotta learn how to fly the ship on In the most dangerous Yeah.

dangerous of environments.

Yeah. She's gonna be flying in for the very first time.

Didn't that mutant guy know how to fly this ship?

I thought it was a little bit more.

I'm really convinced that him holding his hands to the sky and raging is going to do something to stop the explosion.

Right.

Yep, this movie made some choices.

Some choices. Interesting choices.

These choices I think are good. Kaiju surrounded by fire.

Look at that! Oh, then a super big w oh man.

They're equally matched.

Yeah.

That was like some Dragon Ball Z fighting going on there.

That one.

They're just throwing power at each other and seeing what happens.

That's like if Sinestro and the Green Lantern like supercharge their rings and then they connect'em like they're trying to punch each other and they hit fists. Boom.

Yeah, a little known fact, Green Lantern is uh weak against yellow, so if you throw a banana at him, you're gonna hit him.

Yeah, it's you're good.

King or not King Kong, but Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong and the Q Basic Gorilla could probably take out Green Lantern.

Way to go how you fucking push

Oh, here we go.

Yeah, so it's not technically King Ghidorah. It might be like the Daya Ghidorah from the Rebirth the Mothra series. Remember where it was like a Ghidorah with horse legs?

Oh yeah.

It was like all four legs and I think they might be doing that, but I forget exactly I think it's just straight up Ghidorah that they switch it into.

And you know what I'm not hating on these transitions even though they're a little rough for the CG.

If they bring him back as an actual suit in that sculpt, that's probably a design I might do for Ghidorah, because I kinda like that look.

Yep, here we go, the suit.

Yeah.

Yeah no he's it they give him a different name, then it's the coloring's off, so I'm gonna go with traditional ghidora a little bit more.

But I still like the sculpt, it's very cool.

It's like a mix of that. Yeah, no, he does have four legs, so he is like the one from Rebirth of Mothra. There you go. Yeah. That's I think this one's I think this one's called Kaiser Ghidorah because of that version of it.

So we don't actually get a full-fledged King Ghidorah, we get this version of it.

Still pretty cool, I like it.

Me too.

With a Godzilla that murders the rest of the Godzillaverse that quickly, you need to have a very powerful

Yeah. Oh no.

The lightning effects are

And they've overpowered all the other creatures to make this more intense, so having this like zero point energy with the yellow laser or lightning is fine by me.

It looks like we might oh shit now oh my god the building folly daughter is awesome.

I feel bad for the person in the suit, but that looked incredible.

The debris and the detritus going across with all of the explosions is really good in this. They took their time.

No, agreed.

Especially with all the kaiju battles when they go into the buildings, like they fall apart like actual cement and glass and

Yeah.

Looks very realistic, very well done.

Yeah, before go like a King Ghidorah would have to fly in the air and then drop down. This one just goes up on his hind legs.

I wonder why they went with the decision to have a four legged sort of like centaur for him.

Um probably thought it made him look more epic.

Yeah.

Oh, and an ounce drain'em like uh that one movie where the

Yep.

Uh-oh.

The Orga was yeah, there was a bunch of different monsters that kept trying to take Godzilla DNA throughout the years of the series.

He's holding his sword with the point down to the ground, which means the point is now gonna be dulled.

Yeah. I bet he sharpens it like all the fucking time though.

Yeah, maybe.

I mean come on. It's him. That's the only thing he does if he's not working is sharpening his sword.

Or trimming his mustache.

Proper mustache care is important.

Yeah, it should be square.

Sharpened off.

Yeah. Short mountain come on. And then you gotta decide are you gonna be clean shaven or have some uh have some stubble around it?

I chose to have some stubble around my

I never liked just a mustache for me. Yeah. I never

Certain oh it takes a certain man to be able to pull off just a mustache.

Well yeah, and if you're blonde

This guy and uh Tom Selleck. Those are the only two.

Yeah, well if you have blonde hair and you grow out a mustache sometimes it's just this weird flesh color that just doesn't look right.

You know, or it's just really, really light. Like in my case my mind.

has always been light, so I never grew it out unless I had the rest of my beard with it.

But then again I've also had some form of a beard since I was fifteen because I shave it and it grows out twenty minutes later.

Like Simpson, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, blew up the middle head.

That's the one that usually has all the control. Oh, did you see that?

Oh man, he ripped your hell off!

He shot one head off with the other. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's awesome. So now this one.

I always love that move. The toss over the shoulder of the empty suit. I always think that looks cool. See again, all of the debris flying up from the various pieces left down.

That attention to detail was really good.

Man, that final head's taking a beating.

All he has to do is kill the final head and then he's fine, but no he's gotta do this.

He's gotta uh well he's he's been like, Well you punished me long enough now it's he's gotta get some anger out. Oh Oh, whoa.

Yeah, it's a whip fire supercharged atomic round.

Just shoot him into space!

And burning him all the way.

Yep.

That's where the hole in the ozone layer came from.

That explosion in space.

That's our boy.

There's the man

We're down to ten minutes.

Yeah, he just transformed and then that was it, right?

Yeah, okay.

Well now that Godzilla's done with all the monsters, it's time to get everything else that ever pissed him off.

Yep.

He's going out.

Alright humans, back to your scheduled annihilation.

Well it's like you said, he'd rather die fighting than die hiding and uh

That's right.

Now they have to try and figure out a way to put Godzilla back without the ship that actually successfully First time.

After

All systems have shut down.

No.

Yeah, he's always stabbing the sword into stuff like stone too, so he's very seriously not concerned about keeping the edge at all.

Or maybe it's a special sword that the edge is just always sharp.

Oh, it's like cursed.

Yeah, or something. Made out of a metal that doesn't dull.

Yeah.

It does look really fucking cool with him holding it. I can't say that it doesn't. Especially when he had it resting over top of his shoulders and it was just that huge oversized sword.

He's like rough. Alright, I'll go. I'll leave

No. You were talking about baby Godzilla?

Da da I would love this I would love this movie and never complain about anything else if Godzilla immediately murdered him upon seeing.

Right, just snapped his neck.

Everybody had left. Like that's all I need to really do. Yeah.

Like basically the baby Godzilla runs up.

Gross full size and then Godzilla just fucking murders him.

Yes. Opens up his mouth, atomic breaths into it, that bleeds.

I'm gonna take care of something I should have done ages ago.

Damn, lizard!

Hey, you show some respect to Godzilla.

Yeah. Also why is this guy the old guy always wants to shoot something?

Well, he's dressed like Craven the Hunter on a budget. Yeah.

Aww, he's gonna soothe Godzilla with hogs.

No, there's it's stopping'em. Yeah. Like they're both doing the stop.

Yeah.

To their adults.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's enough now, Dad. That's enough.

Yeah. So I mean there's nothing left. Uh the world really is ended though. There's no infrastructure left. We we don't have power. We can't rebuild.

Yeah, but we could repopulate and then the population could slowly build over time.

This is Godzilla's ideal world now. All the buildings are smashed and all the other kaiju are dead. It's just him and his

They're gonna go play. Alright. Let's go.

They're gonna go play god like video games together.

They're gonna go play catch.

So that little Godzilla doesn't have to spend his adult years getting tattoos to deal with stuff.

Well that's good for him.

Isn't it though? It's nice.

Yeah.

Wait, Dad!

This is probably my favorite sculpt of Manila.

You're like, yeah!

The last time I'll be on screen might as well give a full blast.

And he did it without having to have his tail stomped on, folks.

That's right.

Still think I like Son of Godzilla better than I like the Son of Kong movie from the third

Uh definitely.

It was a sequel to Kong King Kong. Son of Kong was okay, but I

Hey, he's got a love interest. Look at that.

Yeah, the scientist.

I didn't know that.

Yeah. The redhead was the reporter lady that like tricked the fake president guy that came back or whatever, the leader for this new.

The dog is safe, because if it's not, I'm gonna hate this movie even more.

Yeah, same.

Yeah.

I love that he just always exits into the sunset.

I'm just telling you, man, these last few minutes are really painful because I gotta go to the bathroom.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, the dog's okay, I told you.

Yeah.

We got five minutes left, that's gonna be a lot of credits and once the credits roll, we're out of here anyway, so

Yeah, okay.

You're good to go, my man.

It's a new beginning.

Because Godzilla's inside each one of us, Matt.

Yeah, Godzilla is definitely ins inside each one of us. That's a fact. Yeah.

We're not very different from Godzilla. Oh he's walking against the sunrise, not the sunset.

Yep.

Okay, this is gorgeous.

Yeah, this is nice.

Into the rising sun.

The compositing for the sun is a little bit off, but still looks okay.

Gonna look back in anger.

Don't look back in anger I heard you say The last roar.

Yep. It's a final war of the final war.

Ha ha ha.

That's it folks. Now we're into credits and I'm not suffering through this anymore. So everybody kick the fuck out of this week and make it your bitch.