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There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,

the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed

at a quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence.

Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that

created the audio collapsed in on itself, rendering all of their

civilization, including technology, null and void.

Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and

changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on cinema

syll.

10 years. Man 10. 10 years.

10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years.

10. 10 years. 10 years.

What is the most likely way humanity will be wiped out? Maybe it's something.

Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of you.

And if this is the case, you. Wouldn'T have any control over it.

The global temperature rise underscores a chilling reality.

Our planet is trying to tell us something, but we don't seem

to be listening. A recent study has suggested that one. Third of annual deaths due

to heat are directly related to global warming.

On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear

light, which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything on

fire in a nine mile diameter radius. On top

of the bulldozing effect of the wind and all the buildings coming down,

and more fires igniting more fires on top of the radiation if

they happen to have survived poisoning people to death. On top of all that,

each one of these fires creates a mega fire

that is a hundred or more square miles.

Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and

changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers. On Cinema

PsyOps a breathtaking scientific revolution is

taking place. Biotechnology has been progressing

at stunning speed, giving us the tools to eventually gain

control over biology. Solving the deadliest diseases

while also creating viruses more dangerous than nuclear bombs,

able to devastate humanity. It's man returning

to the most primal, violent state as

people fight over the tiny resources

that remain. What if the world we live in. Is just a dream or a

simulation? Whether it's a dream or some advanced. Computer game you are

playing right now. When it ends, you would be what causes the end

of the world. Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming

or playing this game of life. Because when you wake up or unplug.

There'S a chance the rest of us. Will be blaked out of existence. Timelines across

the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has

a nexus that centers on Cinema syn.

10 years. 10 years. Hello,

hello and welcome to the 495th consecutive

week of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Court, the guy

that's super Stoked to be closing out the Daimajin

series with Daimajin Strikes again. And joining me in the joy of

listening to those annoying fucking kids make a ton of fucking noise and winking us

all wish they were dead. As my co host, Matt, kill all the children.

Wait, what? I'm sorry, did I say that? Yeah.

So is that loud? Yeah. These kids are so goddamn annoying.

I celebrated bad things happening to them

while watch in my notes. Yeah, I'm just saying it. Yeah,

Listen, it's almost as bad as my

next week's movie when she yells Kong all the time. Almost made

me want to scratch my ears out. This is. This is worse.

Very grating, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll. We'll talk about.

Maybe we will. We'll talk about how grating her voice was, but this

is terrible. This is. Yes. So we have

literally clipped almost all of the dialogue. Like I did the last Time Machine

movie I covered. Only this time I recorded every fucking

noise those children make because if I had to sit through it, so does the

rest of you. God damn, you are a cold blooded son of a bitch.

You know what? Send Imagine after me for doing it to you too. But everybody.

Yeah, I'm going to have to. Yeah, it's going to happen.

I will say, though, it's worth the wait, folks, this movie's worth it.

You just. You got to get through it. And then. Yeah, it's worth it.

We'll just. We won't beat around the bush about that at all. It's worth it.

It'll happen. Yeah, we just have to be patient. I'm ready to go. Let's do

it. All right, So I have 21 fucking clips

because like I said, every, pretty much every bit of dialogue is. Is recorded.

There's one or two lines of dialogue that I did not record. So not all

of them are going to be super long. But there's a lot of clips to

get through, folks. There's a lot of movie to get through and unfortunately, most of

it is a bunch of whiny, annoying kids. But it's worth it, I promise.

It's. It is what it is. All right, so this week for the Pirate

radio edit like we've been doing all along, all signs songs from 1966,

the year that Dimajin Strikes Again was released. Up first

is the band the Music Machine with the song Talk Talk immediately following this

on the Pirate Radio. Eduard, you have once

again defied Legion podcast.

Sorry, had something in my throat. Hey,

Matt in court. Listen up, folks. Yeah, yeah, so look

you're new to the network. I've left my messages.

You've gotten emails, some of them late at night. I apologize for that.

Are we even checking that box anymore? Yes, all the time. Dan, really?

Let the man speak. He's gonna just look in.

Maybe I drew first blood calling you garbage people. That did hurt,

however truthful it was. Pull up your big boy podcaster pants.

It's the fact that this show continues to

wallow in the sewage of the podcasting pool.

It's warm. That's who we are, though. It's friendly to us. I mean,

have you looked at the movies you're covering? We watch them both.

They're just as bad as the show. I completely agree.

I'm ruined. People love the show. We're doing really good.

Look, you're right, and that is as confounding

a thing as I have ever come across, because people do, in fact,

seem to be responding to the show. Now, it could be some rubber

necking, let's see them drag the bodies from the wreckage kind of

thing. Love a good accident. I can't make that judgment. I don't know the

psychology of all this, but I can tell you the numbers have been good.

Yeah, I thought you would be happy about that. Why are you more upset with

us? I just can't believe that something like this kind of show,

a show that rebels in grind House in a way that

is almost soft Mark. A show, I might add, that Duncan

McLean has been on at least two times. Wait, is that

what it is, buddy? You want to be on the show? Hey, you okay,

champ? Do you need to have a talk? You can be on the show,

but we didn't think you'd want to. Man, we totally would love to have you

on the show. I mean, gosh, you guys, I just listened to the show,

and I enjoy it so much and never even asked.

We were a little intimidated by you, especially after the garbage people thing.

Buddy, you could totally be on the show. Why don't we grab our baseball

mitts and we'll go out back and throw the ball around, buddy. Then we'll have

some hot chocolate, and you can pick out a movie, and we'll talk about any

movie you want. Okay? We could even have ice cream. Yeah.

And marshmallows in the hot chocolate. Hey, Phyllis, you mean

it? Absolutely. Why don't we go throw a ball around in the backyard

for a little. Bit, and then we'll come back and. Take care of the movie?

All right. Is it okay if we whistle when we go? Oh, we're going to

whistle. All right. All the way. I prefer to whistle in the dark myself,

but we can whistle wherever. Wherever. I love that.

Can't seem to talk about the things that bother me. That seems to be the

thing that people have against me.

Oh, boy, we all good shit. Yeah. Ye. Yeah. I really dig

a lot of that garage rock that came around in the 60s where

there was just these one hit wonders. I've been playing that stuff all along.

Most of the songs that we're gonna be hearing from the 60s is gonna be

coming from the Nuggets, the hidden artifacts box set that was put out

ages ago. So just if anybody's, you know, interested in a lot of that music,

that's where you can get it. Although the kids would probably just search it for

Apple music by name nowadays or whatever. Yeah, all those

get off our lawn. Or maybe Spotify. I don't know who buys it?

Get off our lawn kids. Who buys box sets of CDs anymore but old people

like us? Yeah, all right, enough. Goddamn kids.

Gotta get off our lawn. Yeah. Let's talk about something that's even older than us.

Daimajin strikes again. All right, Broken up into basically

about 30 minute blocks of time. So the film opens on the first

30 minutes with a tremendous storm. And we see the hand of Daimajne

wave into frame and the monsoon conditions that we are seeing immediately

start uprooting trees that then crash into homes

and completely destroy them. That storm then changes into an arctic,

arctic snow blast with the wave of Daimajeen's arm causing an

avalanche that crushes another home. We then get some

dialogue. So that is our first. Oh no.

Majin must be in rage again.

Immediately after this, that avalanche buries that couple and their child

alive in the rubble of their own home. And the snow.

Man, that was really fucking brutal. Yeah. And then

we see those boots of Daimajeen that were made to

walk all over you. Step into frame as the horrific snowstorm

blizzard worsens around him. One could assume he is having a bit

of a vengeful God moment here as the stomp seems to have destroyed a

levee or perhaps a dam that begins to flood an area.

And the people lament their suffering in our second.

Hurry. Come on, hurry.

The mountain God must be angry.

With that prayer. Dine appears and wipes his arms in front

of himself, and the mountains then crumble into a rock slide of epic

proportions. The model work and the destruction of the mountain and the

village is pretty fucking incredible. We. Yeah,

that's Pretty solid scene right there. We even see buildings collapse in

front of frightened villagers. With forced perspective. The villagers pray and lament more

in our.

Oh no. He's coming.

He's hungry. It must be his curse.

It is cursed. The girl is angry.

Blizzards, avalanches,

floods, droughts, earthquakes. All these

disasters were believed to be the work of Majin, the mountain

God. Werner Herzog Guest starring in this film for some reason,

well, that going. He sees in front of him the futility

of life and breathing in its own. And holds his breath as

Daimajin steps forward to crush him with his vengeful boots Made

for walking. All over you. It is a classic tale of woe.

Many say these boots are made for walking.

Oh God, her song is awesome. I need to stop talking shit.

And that's just what they'll do. The third

clip ends and we cut to a dude hiking it through a forest. Then cut

from that. Two townsfolk toiling away in our fourth clip.

I'm starving. Don't be a crybaby.

We have to finish before our brothers come back. He's right.

We really should try and get ready for the winter so that we can celebrate

the New Year. Okay then. I'll work some more. It's Sanpei.

Come on. Help. San. Pei. Brother.

What happened? Hey. You're the only one returned. What about

the others? They were all taken to

Hell's Valley on the other side. On the other side?

We were felling trees in the forest.

Suddenly, Lord Arakawa's men swarmed in and

took all of us away. He's making us build a

big structure in Hell's Valley. A big struct. What is

that for? I don't know. We were forced to work day

and night every day. I barely

got away alive from there to report it to our

own Lord Koyama. But. Hey,

Sanpi. Somebody call the headman

Sanpe. So, do you know if the Lord Koyama is

going there to rescue them? No. Heavy snows

are expected soon. What did you say? Even if he sends

his men, Hels Valley is very far away. If his men

got caught in the snow, they could get trapped and they'd all die.

How cruel. Hell's Valley is close

to his domain. He must be careful.

He said Lord Awakawa may be plotting evil,

but he can't do anything during the snow. Is there any way

they can escape from there? There's one. Go through Majin's

Mountain. You can be serious, Zanpei.

You know that no has ever got even close to that mountain.

Well, I Went through it?

Really? I couldn't take other roads. They were

closely watched. I'd have been killed on the spot if I'd

been found out. Brother. I wanted to go

back to Hell's Valley and help them escape.

But. I'm sorry. Please tell the

men at the valley. Tell them to cross Majin's Mountain.

Majin's Mountain?

Mother. Someone should go there in place of

him. Impossible. Sanpei was the best woodcutter.

Not everyone can cross the mountain. There will be heavy snow

soon. It means death. Besides, what happened to San Pei could

be the curse of the God for crossing the mountain.

Yes. It must be his curse. Brother. Isn't Father

coming home? You don't need to worry about it.

What are you looking at? Is that Majin's mountain?

Soda. Kichi. Are you gonna go to Hell's Valley?

Crossing over the mountain? I would go anywhere

to save Father and the others. Even that mountain.

I'll go too. Kinta. What you got

there? Brother's keepsake. I won't go for him.

Alright, I'll go too. No, you can't go.

Why not? You're too slow. You would be in our way for sure.

No, I wouldn't be. I promise I'll do anything for

my brother too. Quinta. Can I go?

Okay, let's get ready. If our mothers were to find out,

they would be worried. So don't tell them, okay? I am sad to

report these annoying fucking crotch goblins are the main characters of our movie.

And you will be forced to endure everything they say

and how annoying they are. If I had to in order to cover this

film. But did I tell you, like how happy I was that you had to

do the notes for this film? 1 yeah. Because I'm the one

that should be suffering through these annoying kids. Because I'm gonna make it funny for

everybody. That's true. We watch as these

three extremely avoidable sexually transmitted financial

burdens pack up for a journey. They talk some more.

So I guess you know what that means. Yep. Our fifth

clip. Daisoku is always late. I hope

he didn't get caught. Hey. Hey. You awake?

Daisaku. Junk. Get mad. I ran all the

way here. What's this in your bag? It's food.

All of it? Yes. Daisaku. Come on,

let's go before someone finds out.

Sugibou. I want to come with you. No way.

We won't let you go. We're going far away. That's right.

There'd be scary things. You'd just be in the way

I know it. Go. Okay. Oh, by the way, don't tell mother

about this. This. Okay, let's go. Hey, you can't

come. Go home or I'll get mad. Hurry. We better go now.

They cut away from these goonies who are not good enough to a

mining operation of some sort. With many men toiling

away next to a hot spring. It may be a sulfur mine or something.

As they are harvesting a shit ton of yellow stones and the hot springs

point to sulfur, some soldiers come to report to the

obvious villain in charge of this camp. And that is our sixth

foreman. Regarding the woodsman who ran away,

we almost caught him at one point, but. He hid in

the Majin's mountain. You lost him?

No. The mountain is extremely steep. As we heard before.

Once you enter there, it would be really hard to get out.

No one has ever survived the descent. Even we had a very

hard time. Idiots. You came back without seeing

if he was dead. But what if. If he escapes

and reports to Lord Koyama about this? Yes.

If someone finds out, our Lord Arakawa's

plan may be doomed. Idiots.

Toma. Go to Majin's Mountain at once.

If you find his body, that's fine. If you don't,

sneak into Koyama's castle and check thoroughly on the enemies.

Yes. Sounds like he meant.

Yeah. But if he went onto the mountain.

I hope he reaches town safely. Hey, we've come pretty

far. Are you sure this is the right road? Don't worry.

My father told me one time. We can get to Majin's

Mountain by going toward where the sun sets. Then what do we do?

We will keep going farther west. The sulphur springs in

Hell's Valley sends up yellow steam, I hope.

Yellow steam? Let's hurry.

We'll get to the mountain soon. Oh no.

What's up? Right side up means brother's fine, but wrong

side up. Daisaku, you can't rely on that kind of thing.

What if something bad happens to your brother? You idiot.

Hey, we gotta go. After the clip, the kids come upon

a huge rock and boulder pile and climb up it extremely slowly.

As one of them asks if it is Daimajin's mountain that they are looking at.

There are some absolutely breathtaking country countryside shots on this

journey as well, so that's at least enjoyable. If you could just get

those fucking kids to shut the fuck up. The crotch goblins happen upon

an old hermit lady and they all talk. And now that's everybody's

fucking problem. In our seventh clip. What are

you doing, boys? You are not supposed to

be here. This is Majin's mountain. Excuse me,

who are you? I live around here. I see. You guys travelers.

A fierce God is living in this mountain.

We know. You knew this and still came.

You will suffer for it. It is to rescue our

fathers and brothers. But you have to pass through here in order

to do that. No. No matter what the reason is, you cannot enter

the mountain. You'll be spirited away. You won't return

alive. The God here is very fearful,

you know. Even you are just small children. Once you

enter the mountain, he'll cause heavy snow and storms.

Anyway, you can't even get in. There's a hawk

with sharp claws making sure no one

enters there. The hawk is a messenger for Majin.

A hawk? I can't let you go through here.

See? Go home now. Go. We got it. If you get it,

go now. Go. These deceptive little shits ignore

everybody. What the fuck is. Who are all these people?

The crotch goblins. Wait for the old lady to leave, and they continue

on their stand by me sojourn when a fourth crotch

goblin shows up. To make this even more unbearable for

all of us in our eighth clip. Brother Sugibo.

How were you able to make it this far? Did you come

up that rocky road? Brother, please take me along.

Well, shall we take him? We can't. It's even harder

from here on. It's awfully far to make him go back alone.

Right, Daisaku? Yes. It's too far. Can you promise that

no matter how hard things get, you won't fuss? Yes.

Promise you will try hard like us? Yes. So do.

Kichi. You won't cry and you will behave?

Yes. All right. Let's go. Suckibo.

Sukibo. Come on,

Milo. Good,

Tizen. It's going well.

We'll be able to finish in two days.

It's only a matter of time until you conquer all these

domains. Just as you've been dreaming. We'll make

gunpowder from the sulphur we mined. What happens

to us when the walk is over? I wonder what Senpai is

doing. I hope he didn't get caught. Hey, what are you

doing? Are these the woodsman? You?

Yes. They are mountain people. They are strong

and a great help. Make them work harder.

Harder.

They cut from this despotic shit stain. Torturing people he has

enslaved to. The annoying quartet of sexually transmitted

dependents getting creeped out in the forest in our ninth clip.

Sugibou. It's nothing. Don't be afraid.

Well, let's go. We can Climb.

Let's do it,

Kinta. Don't let go.

Tasuku. Yeah.

I left that clip with all the noises in there because then everybody gets to

hear the kids suffer and at least feel a little better. Yes,

whine and cry, you little shits. During the clip, we watch

the kids climb further and further up until one of them slides and barely catches

himself from falling. One of the other kids climbs up to give him his head

to put their foot on and saves the day. Until a rock slide has one

of them hanging by a vine that gives out and they all fall off of

the end of the cliff only to survive and ruin our enjoyment of them falling.

They don't even get hurt. This is barely an inconvenience to these fucking financial burdens.

I'm telling you, man, kids are resilient. They are not even bruised

anywhere or anything. Which they drive home

in our tenth clip. Sugimo.

Sugibo. Sugimo.

Sugibo. Brother, are you

okay? Keita. Keita.

Kenta. Daisaku. Daisaku.

Daisaku. Ah, what's that?

A hawk. Majin's messenger.

The end of the clip leads to even more sequences of these fucking half pint

crumb catchers climbing and walking up a hill. Like Frodo

carrying the One ring, only longer and more boring. Yeah.

I mean, if that's even possible. But it is like even

Extended Edition was less boring than watching these fucking kids climb. Even though the

vistas were beautiful. In all this, talking about the views are

great. The. The people with the views is

what my problem is. The grating voices of

these crotch goblins annoy us some more in our 11th clip.

That must be the God. Such a gentle face for a fierce

God. Dear God, please excuse us for

coming into this mountain. We want to save

our family that's on the other side. That's right.

We are desperate. Please let us pass this mountain.

Please, God. It's the hawk.

Right? Let's go. What's wrong,

Sugibo? I'm hungry. I can't walk.

I see you are hungry. Sugibly, so am I.

I was so scared that I forgot. Well,

I guess we should eat here then. Yeah,

let's do that. Oh,

that must be Arakawa's samurai,

Baisaka. Who are they?

Get them. Yes. The rugrats run away and are pursued by

the bad men. The youngest of the snot nosed brats gives up and plops

down. So the remaining crotch goblins drop their gear and hoist him to his feet

and run off. This means they lose their Food and whatever

gear just to keep the Debbie Downer carpet crawler moving. And that

takes us to the end of the first 30 minutes. Well, I mean,

first 30 is done. And it's been the longest three hours

of my life. So. Yeah,

I would recommend 100% watching the

film the whole way through at least once. And then upon subsequent viewings,

then just fast forward through all of the setup. Maybe watch the

stuff that happens at the mines, but skip all the stuff with the kids.

You don't need it. Enhance the film in any way, except for like the

adventure parts where like they're shooting the arrows and running across the log or

trying to get away from people. Just fast forward through any dialogue? Yeah,

any of the kids dialogue. Everything else is fine. I think. I think the kids

from this. I don't need any of the daily log in this. So there you

go. Really. Just give me the action scenes and we're done on subsequent

viewing. That's fair. See? But I agree. Watch it in its entirety at least once.

That's all you need. Yeah. Because the end of the film is definitely worth

all of this. Annoying. Yes. 100. The end of the film

is just. It's always the best Kaiju. All Kaiju films,

really. The end of the film is always the best part.

Mostly. Yeah. But sometimes most.

Sometimes they have the monsters die a little too early and then they tack on

a bunch of human stuff for far too long after it's all over, you know?

Yeah. Okay. I'm just. For the most part.

Yeah. The big Kaiju stuff is what you're here for. And yes, the human stuff

in a lot of these movies is super fucking boring and annoying.

This just happens to be the first instance of it. And it's even more of

a downer because the other two films had such amazing

people stories that were interesting and fun to follow.

This is suffering from the Gamera syndrome from the era that Gamera films

were being released in. Like this for DIA or whatever the

name of the company is. Gamera is so kid focused

that they basically follow kids for most of the film and then throw

in the camera when they can afford it. And that's what they're starting to do

here with the Daimajin. They have 30 minutes of breathtaking

footage that beats all of the other Kaiju action in the previous two

films, I think in this film. But it is mired with all

of this shit. And they had to know that because why else would they have

the storm and all of the other stuff at the very beginning of the film

if not to whet your appetite and keep you suffering through this bullshit till you

get to the here for. And unfortunately,

you know, I hate to have that attitude towards Kaiju films because they do want

to try and tell a story and keep you with human interest. But in this

case, these kids just ain't doing it for me. And there's other people in Godzilla

films that don't do it for me and just end up irritating me. And you're

just kind of like, yeah, I'm sick of you already. Right, Exactly. So why don't

we just move on so we can get to the good stu? Because we got

a 30 minutes. Let's get going. Suffer through before we can. We've already

talked about it. Let's go. The next 30 starts with a hellspawn

running into a log that is too sus to use and cross

the gap in the path. So they talk about it and we have

to hear about it in our 12th clip. You are slow.

You go first. Who, me?

I'm afraid I get extreme extremely dizzy

when I'm up high. And it's narrow too.

What should we do? Damn, which way did they go?

Those kids are so fast. I don't understand why kids are

in this mountain. Let's find out why. Poor Shadow.

Okay, Daisaku, you go next.

Don't look down. You say that, but.

Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry.

They're coming. Daisaku. They're coming. Hurry,

hurry, hurry. Harry.

Kenta. Daisaku.

Ouch. Are you all right?

What is it?

Fire. Yes. Okay, so at the end of the clip there,

the little crotch goblins run off, but the one

stops to fire his bow and arrow. And he hits like all three of the

guys in the leg. And then when the main guy in charge gets hit in

the leg, he then orders them to fire rifles upon the children. So they're going

to kill these kids. They're just going to flat out kill them from here on

out. So the true heroes of the movie. I mean, yeah, if you hate the

kids that much, but they're supposed to be the villains. Oh, well,

this movie really failed at a lot of aspects then for me.

Well, either you cover films for a short term and root for

the hero, or you cover films for too long and root for the villains.

Either way, we're doing it. After the bad

guys get home alone with a crotch goblin bow and arrow,

they justif return fire and the kids flee once again.

This is just fucking painful to watch. And a real letdown after

the return was so fucking good. Like I just lamented. Wow, that's crazy.

I'm lamenting it in my notes here. The kids. The kids make it to

a field and pass out to rest. When one of

them awakes and makes some noise with his taki hole. So that is our 13th

clip. Look. A path. We did it.

We made it. We finally made it through. Yeah.

Yeah. Yay.

Yay. Yay.

Yay.

We looked everywhere, but we couldn't find them. Mrs.

Hitman. They must have gone to Hell's Valley.

Oharu. I'm going. What? I can't lead them to their fate.

We wait. I'll go, too. So will I.

Right. Tomorrow morning, okay?

I'm starving. Keep saying that. Stop it.

Damn it. Why did I drop the rice ball?

Stop it. Wow. Dad's favorite meat.

Egg cakes. Let's eat, everyone. Trukti,

I thought you brought those cakes for your father. I'm gonna save

one for him, so don't worry. Go ahead and eat.

Okay. Let's share those.

Tsurukichi. Tsukimatsuo.

Sanpei hasn't been back yet.

I'll go get help. What? I'll go to our lord. Wait. Shuachi.

You know help may come here soon. You should not risk your life. But when

the walk is finished. They don't need us here. They may kill

all of us. We don't have time to waste. But what'll become

of Daisuku if you die? You are his only brother.

He's gonna be left all alone, so see. Be patient

a little longer. I want to do this for all of us.

Sanpei's gone now. If I don't go, who else can?

Hey. What are you doing? Go to sleep.

All right. Go for us, then. Yes, definitely.

Tomorrow. Hurry up.

What is it? What happened? Are you all right?

You okay? What are you doing?

Stand up. Stand up. Okay. Jesus. With this,

the slaves revolt and a man escapes, only to have to fight

off a guard. He bumps into and is noticed by the spotter right away

as he flees up the hill and is shot at it. All the while they

wing him, but he is back on his feet and fleeing, only to fall

and get snatched up by more guards. This dashes all the hopes

of the slaves as they drop their heads and walk away. They are ordered

to go to the sulfur spring, which they all do,

and that leads to our 14th clip.

Shi. Hey.

What are you doing? Just watch.

You'll find out what happens if you try to escape

or disobey me.

Kish. Daku is slow.

Look after him. Please do it.

Shohachi shi.

How's that? You understand now?

It's a good smell. What?

I don't smell anything. I have a special

nose. I know it.

See that hot. Good smell.

You see? Let's go. Those brats

have something to do with that woodsman. Or they would not try

to cross Majin's Mountain. And they wouldn't run from us.

I see. We must get them. What is it? The samurai from

yesterday. What? Sugibou.

Hurry. The brats? Yeah. The kids overhear

the bad guys from yesterday at the end of the clip and then lead them

off so the youngest one can get in to steal their food,

which he does. They hide and the men continue to look for them. But then

return to the hut as the kid hides from them and they are led

off again. So he can oh so slowly

carry off the stolen food until he's helped by the other

kids. And the older brats help him to flee. The grown

men return to find their food stolen and it cuts from this to the

kids eating the rice balls beside the river. And then to some travelers and

our 15th clip. Wait. Show us the way to Hell's

Valley. Who are you? We are castlemen. We meant to ask Sanpe,

but we heard he died from the village people.

So does it mean you're going to save our people? It is a

grave matter. If they invade our land to attack us. We need to

go there to check. Then what about our men? Take. Oh,

we can't go any further. This river flows down

to Hell's Valley. I smell snow. It will be heavy.

Let's wait across. Get on. Okay.

Kinta. Don't worry. Right?

I'll carry you.

You know what? I got an idea. Daisaku. Help me with

this. The brats make a crude raft like Huck Finn or some shit

and go drifting down the river. This sequence has some close

calls with rocks, look like stock footage, and wide shots

of people in a raft before they hit something. And their raft snaps apart and

they lose all of their cargo. This time they swim to the banks of the

river, split into pairs on opposite sides.

When one of the kids gives up and lets himself be taken by the river,

I would feel. What a quitter. I would feel bad about enjoying this

if I wasn't positive at this moment that he had some massive plot armor on

right before. I then recalled that no. In diamond movies, people die

and they have to continue dying. So the tragedy ramps up before the God gets

killed. Yeah. Yeah. And they really did just kill this kid. And I should really

not Being enjoying it this much. Yeah. This is when

you start to go, okay, Well, I mean, the kid was a quitter though,

so I'm just saying. And then it dawns on me that, yes, he's not coming

back. And I almost feel bad when the kids repeatedly call out his name.

But it then cuts to them later that night, hidden in the hollow of

a tree. And there's only three of them. In our 16th clip.

I smell sulfur. We must be near Hell Valley.

Why don't we sleep here tonight and leave early tomorrow?

Let's get some firewood. This starts a dream sequence of the smallest crotch

goblin running to a sulfur pit through a field of snow from several

different angles that are cross dissolved together and are really fucking boring.

And padding out this film. Yeah. Because apparently you needed so

much time before you can just give us Kaiju. Shit.

He slides down a crevice of snow to fall

into more snow. Stand up in ultra slow motion.

Battle vision. And then be woken up. In our 17th clip.

Father. Fra Da. Sugibo. Sugibo.

Sugibo. Sugibo. Did you have a scary dream?

Don't worry. Go to sleep now. Sugibou.

Sugibo Daisaku. It's snowing.

Stay awake or you'll freeze to death.

Tsukibo. Tsukebo Daisaku. Wake up.

Wow. There is snow. What will we do?

We can't walk in this snow. Let's go.

We don't have a choice. Listen carefully. The work is

over. We are making gunpowder now. We will conquer

all the neighboring lands. Starting with your Lord Koyama.

There must be a shortcut to Lord Koyama's castle.

Show me the way. Shortcut? I don't know one. Liar. You are

a woodsman, so you should know all the shortcuts. How come no one

speaks up? Our lord is talking to you.

How about it? Show us a way and we'll. If the work is

over, why don't you let us go home?

Damn it. Show us the way and we'll reward you.

You can go home to your wife and kids. What about you?

Would you rather die in the sulfur spring? There's no way. This condition

is too dangerous. You are trying to stall. It's true. We're woodsmen.

We know very well this snow can kill us all. It's true.

It's impossible in the snow. Enough.

No. Take them to the sulphur spring. Yes.

Give them two hours. If they still won't talk, throw them

in the spring. They cut from this to the main comic relief.

Bad guys as they find one of the kids arrows and then they cut

to the kids wandering through the freezing cold mountains looking like they are

about to go have a party like the Donners just

as an avalanche sends them scrambling. Luckily, luckily it

was not a ton of snow for these brats. And one of them attempts to

wake the others in our 18. Daisaku.

Sugibou. Don't go to sleep. If you sleep, you'll die.

Daisaku. Daisaku.

Sugibo. Sugibo.

Sugibo. Sugibo. Come on,

let's count numbers together. Okay.

One. One. Two.

Two. Two.

Three. Sugibou.

Say three. Three. Unfortunately, that's all

the further up that any of them can count. And then they all freeze to

death immediately after this clip. Then you get a restart at 1.

The kids seem to be giving in to the cold and dying.

This should not make me as happy as it does.

I mean it can though. They cut from that to show that

the slaves seem to be without hope and about to be thrown

properly into the sulphur springs. And that takes us over

the hour mark of the film. So we now one hour in and

we have yet to see any Kaiju stomping action. For fox sakes.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Can we. Can we get to the Kaiju

part? I was promised Kaiju and all I've been given is annoying kids.

Yeah. And capitalism getting bounced off my head. It is

over an hour before we actually get to the Kaiju stomping stuff.

And it is ridiculous how long it takes to get there. This one,

it makes you wait the longest, I think. But it also gives you

the longest amount of Kaiju stomp stomping stuff. So it doesn't

make up for suffering through the annoying kids. But yeah,

if you fast forward through the kids, I'm recommending just the kids

follow all the adult stuff. The evil despot torturing, the sulfur

mining stuff. A lot of those sequences I think are shot pretty well and are

entertaining. It's just the kids are annoying as shit to me. And then stick

with the dime machine revenge stuff because that's pretty great. There you

go. I think you just made a pretty good movie there.

Yeah. The only thing that I would say that you still have to keep

in is the kid on the mountain who ends up. What we're going

to see here when Dimajeen finally gets summoned. Like you need that sequence in

there, the actual summoning of Din and all the stuff that happens for that.

But you could have cut so much of the stuff with the kids out of

Here made this like an hour and 18 minutes. And over half

of it would have been diamond stomping shit. And that's a

solid third film right there. Yeah, really is.

But nah, man. People really. I mean, I don't know.

The directors, the producers are like, nah, man, these kids, they're gold.

This is going to be it. Well, and this is the big issue that I

have with the Gamera films. And then they do this later on in some Godzilla

movies as well, where they throw kids in and they make the kids the main

focus of the film to turn them into kids films. And it's really irritating

and awful. Hell, they did that with the newer King Kong and Godzilla

movies. Kind of. That just came out. Not quite

as bad, but that is quite. But I mean, really, the first King Kong

versus Godzilla movie that came out of these newer versions

was two kids being each one's best friend.

Yeah, kind of. I'm just saying. Yeah. All right, let's move

on. And we'll do the run to the end so we can finally get the

Kaiju stomp in action. All right, let's get going. I was so excited for.

I took notes for all of it. I like, I backed up. Talking a dude.

Let's get it. All right, so the run to the end picks up with the

kids counting and all falling asleep again in their

suffering. So I had to record it. That is our 19th clip.

101,

102,

103.

Sugibo. Sugibo.

Daisaku. Daisaku.

Daisaku. Sugimo.

Sugimo. Sugabo.

Each of us aim at one. Yada, get the one who's

waking the others.

Daisaku. Daisaku.

Daisaku. Sukibo. Sugimo.

Sugibo. Hey, shoot the boys.

Yes. Daisaku. Daisaku.

Sugimo. Sugibo. Dai Saku.

The machine.

The bird that is the Eisen viewing spirit

of Dine. That eagle attempts to fight off the would

be child killers and is itself hurt. Taking out the guys.

And the kid buries it in the snow for some reason.

And then this is somehow just now the last straw because

Daimajin and the statue itself bleeds as

the eagle does. They jump. Cut around to kind of show all of this happening.

And then we see the kid finishes burying the bird and puts the last bun

on top as an offering and abandons his friends to go

pray. In our 20th clip, Kinto was washed away.

Daisaku and Sugimatsu won't wake up.

The three of us might collapse if we

Don't. Get some help soon. Could this be because

of your curse? God, is this the punishment

for crossing the mountain? We had to cross the mountain

so that we could save all of our village people. I hope you can understand.

So now I will offer myself to you.

So God, I ask you, please don't

be angry with us. And also

pardon Daisaku and Sugimatsu.

I beg you. Every time they say something about the village people,

I hear ymc, I go off in my head. Every time I hear a kid

go, I offer myself up to you, I go, what movie are we watching?

Yeah. What kind of Epstein shit is going on in this film? Yeah. Oh shit.

God damn. What kind of island is this? I hear bad things. At the

end of the prayer, the crotch goblin takes a jump into a snowdrift,

finally awakening the sleeping Daimajin statue. The shot of the

statue coming to life covered in snow had me pop. And I am not ashamed

to admit it. It was awesome. Yes. Dimajeen breaks free and transforms

into his whole God mode self, sending the villagers that

were praying near him scrambling in fear. He lights up like the

sun and disappears. They cut to the brats waking up

to find that one of their own has disapp. So they follow his tracks and

climb down to where he landed. His landing spot lights up golden

like the sun and has heat blowing out of it. While Dimajeen

rises up through the snow, holding the brat in his hand.

As he does so, he sets the still surviving brat down

where he jumped from and makes his way toward the evildoers.

They cut to a shot of the snowy grave of

the bird that is now also glowing with golden light, as the

bird is now resurrected and healed once again. It's an extension of Diamond

Spirit of some sort, so of course it's healed now. Of course.

They cut to the evildoers from there. And that is our 21st clip.

Your time is up. What's your answer? Throw them in.

Don't do that.

Okay.

What's that? The eagle appears and

a blizzard overtakes the samurai as everyone huddles, even though

the main baddie orders the death of the villagers. Once again.

In the far distance, Daimajin's footstomps can be heard, and the leader asks

what that sound is as our big bad mountain demon emerges

from the whiteout of the storm. That made me pop as well. Yeah, that was

good stuff. I have to sudimation stuff is definitely worth watching

this movie for. However, I definitely recommend fast forwarding a little bit

maybe to here. Even if you just want to check it out and then see

if you want to go back. But it's worth it. Definitely. Watch this. If you

just want destruction without the. Story, fast forward that

especially the snow covered sudimation. Walking around

through the mountain sets and then smashing his way through the rock wall.

Like where he walks up through the mountain that first like walk

through the snow. Then he sees that rock wall that like separates the two

valleys or whatever and just smashes it with his hands. And then

it opens up to show where the hot springs are and all these people are

in trouble. And then the evil leader is there. That was just really cool

shit. I loved all. Yeah, it was good stuff. Yeah. Upon seeing this, the evil

leader orders his men to fire on Damagin. The bullet hits

do absolutely nothing as he slowly walks towards them.

They all run in fear until the leader demands his soldiers go

attack the demon mountain. The soldiers do so and rush into

a large puppet version of Daimajin and try to do anything

including pinning down his arms. When this proves fruitless, they are all

thrown to the ground. And one soldier discovers the peril of boots made

for stomping. Because that's just what they do. And today is the day.

Diamond walks all over him.

Seriously though, it is a terrific stomp sequence. They even

have him squish right into the snow and everything. It looks so cool. Yeah,

it's great shit. There are terrific composite shots of diamond

walking up to where the samurai have climbed up onto a ledge on

the cliff. Cliff face. Die machine grabs one of the henchmen and

crushes him into the cliffside, sending the other men fleeing in

terror. That looked awesome. That looked great.

This whole sequence looks great. They flee in terror and

discover they are trapped by another huge rock slide. And Dimajin

presses on towards them ever so slowly and menacingly.

The evil despot orders his men to cut the ropes and drop humongous

logs on die machine. But this proves to once again be barely

an inconvenience as die machine just picks up the logs two at

a time and chucks them at the evil samurai, crushing them one

by one. Sometimes two with one log. Fuck. That was awesome. That was

so. That was great shit. This continues as the evil despot

flees and narrowly escapes a crushing death under several hurled logs.

It just continues and they just keep ratcheting up and it's fucking great.

Yeah. Oh, it's super shit, man. I mean, just awesome looking.

Die machine presses on as the men run behind a gated wall and

begin placing cannons into place while I am not convinced

this will do any good for them. At least they didn't dry chains through all

of the support beams in the hope of tripping him. And escalated to

mortar and cannon fire right off the bat.

Again, it won't work. But short of just fleeing for your life,

cannons are worth the try. Yeah, right. I would just give it

a shot. Why not? The cannon and mortar fire in this sequence is absolutely

amazing. It has several shots of explosion where the debris and black

dust completely obscure Di machine and you wonder if

maybe that's the one that got him. And then he continues to press through it,

reappearing through the debris field and the black smoke. And it just

continues to happen over and over again. And every time is a fist punch.

That was like a. That was a callback to the movie I did last

week. Right. And every time they do that debris field that obscures

our vision of being able to see him and he steps through it is a

fist pumping fuck yes moment for me for sure. Oh yeah, definitely. Die Machine.

Death coming for you. Time Machine walks up to the gated wall and

punches out the top half of the gate with one punch. Then kicks out the

bottom half of the gate with one kick. He steps, steadies himself in the

sturdy arch of the gate and just pushes

up underneath it, lifting the entire goddamn structure

up over his head, effectively destroying the whole thing. He picks up the

whole wall by holding onto the actual arch of the gate and just

lifts it over his fucking head. It's so fucking cool.

I mean, it is hardcore shit too. He stands triumphantly

with it held in place over his head in a really cool wide shot

and then tosses it down on top of more of the evil troops

smash under the ruined debris of their own defenses.

That was so cool. That was. It was awesome. Die Machine

spots some men hiding in a tower and on a rooftop around

that tower and lifts up the whole roof of the building,

sending them crashing and being crushed to death in the process.

He then walks right the fuck through and I mean right

the fuck through the walls of that same building and

flattening everything that had the whole building at right there. Yeah,

right. He then very casually walks up to the building

that's the closest to him that has another huge stone tower

standing up out of it that is being built as it has supports

tied to the building around it as it's being constructed. He pulls those

supports out of the way and collapses the tower back down on the large

structure that's all underneath and just destroys everything. He then

just Steps over to the next building and starts just pushing over the

rest of the buildings one at a time. On his way up the street,

he just walks over. One arm push. The whole building collapses. Next set of buildings,

one arm push. They all collapse. Just destroying

everything. On his way up the street. While doing this, he clocks

the despot lord and does that Daimajin Penance stare. Look at

him. And he and his men once again flee to an underground bunker.

They are hiding in a storage facility in this underground bunker,

but Daimajin knows exactly where they are. He walks up to it,

stomps through the ground, and then reaches down through to grab the hiding

men. They try to get away and flee out the door,

only to have him there waiting for them as they do

it. They flee to a tower that has the sulfur vats and

what looks like a pulley system of some sort. The two head honchos

ride the netted pulley system down like it's a zip line

to flee from the demon mountain God. As he gets to the tower and smashes

one of the sulfur vats before the rest of the men can flee,

that flowing sulfur mixture catches fire and the whole tower

instantly goes up in flames. Several of the men fall to

the ground in the ensuing inferno and are burnt to

a crisp. Time machine then pushes over the flaming tower,

spilling the rest of the vats and probably making the inferno on the ground

significantly worse. Before it cuts from this to the fleeing evil

despot and his terrified looks. Fuck yes.

What a great sequence. And we're not even done yet. No, man, there's so much

more killing to do. It cuts back from that to Daimajin,

who takes out his sword and hurls it at the fleeing

men, causing a huge rock slide that crushes

several of the men. Pretty much all of the followers are gone at this point.

The despot leader flees while watching his number two get crushed

by a boulder in an oh so satisfying sequence.

As it finally falls on top of him, the despot tries to

flee through some debris and the demon mountain God is

just there waiting for him. He picks him up and walks him over to the

boiling sulfur pit. A few shots of the man struggling in the

hand does have the index finger on, all twisted weird and backwards,

and that doesn't look right. But otherwise it's a really incredible sequence and the man

really sells his fear. It is palpable. When he's in there, die machine crushes

the despot to the cliff face and stares at

him with that kind of hate in his eyes that Burns like a penance

stare from the Ghost Rider. It is incredible. You can feel it in this

movie. Yeah, it's such good shit. Die Machine then raises his

sword and stabs it right through the hole of that fucker's

abdomen, killing him instantly. This death seems far too

merciful when the fitting death is for him to drown while screaming in

pain and boiling alive in the sulfur. The villagers who were slaves return

to the pit to see the body fall into the sulfur and sink.

And the annoying surviving crotch goblins return to claim a parent

to be a dependent of in our final clip.

Father. Father. Tsurugichi.

Tsukimatsu. Father. Tsurugichi Sugimatsu.

Daisaku. Come here. Come here.

Good, good. Dear God,

thank you very much.

The villagers all kneel and show their thanks to the

demon mountain God who nods at them with reverence

and raises his arms, turning himself back into a statue

as the clouds clear up around him. The statue then becomes

a huge snow sculpt. Dissipates beautifully in the wind.

It's just breathtaking. Incredible. Yes. Just looks so good.

Just in the wind. And the kids call out the God's

name one more time. The eagle takes flight from the mountain.

Another call to the God's name and they show the eagle soaring and

a mountain range in the background. Then they roll those fucking credits.

Cinema PsyOps 10 years.

10 years. Like I said, man, that end sequence is worth it.

And there's a reason why I did a play by play, note for note,

everything that happened. Because it was fucking great. That sequence is so cool.

Good. So good. I have always

wanted to do a sort of version

of these diamond films where I edit things all together.

Kind of similar to what they did with the Lone Wolf and Cub films

when they made Shogun Assassin, where they took the first two Lone Wolf and

Cub films and kind of cut them together into being like their own film and

then redubbed it and changed it around. Like I kind of want to do that

with the diamond films and you know, just basically condense

some of of the human story parts of it and the suffering and just

basically bring in more diamond attacks. And it would be like little vignettes where it's

all the times a dime machine has like appeared and it's just condensed down.

Dimajin revenge porn. But you still have to have a little bit of the suffering.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you just don't get it. Or else.

Does it make sense? Why is he going crazy? Yeah, you need the

suffering part, right? But you don't need as much of it. You don't need 40

minutes of suffering and 20 minutes of like, God abuse of

the evil. That's it. An hour long film. And it just

rocks the shit, right? Like you cut it down to

where it's basically an hour for each movie and you basically just trim out

as much as possible. But you can give a little bit more to the other

two for the human interest stories because they're actually fucking interesting.

Particularly like the feudal war that was kind of happening where lands were trying to

be taken over in your film in return. I really dug that.

Yeah. But I think this film, like I said, you just trim the kids back,

like to a minimum because you still need them in there. Because one of them

ends up sacrificing his life to try and summon die machine,

which is really cool, man. They never did that with the princess. Like the princess

going into the waterfall, you know, for herself. That would have been really

like a holy whole fuck moment. You know what I mean? Yeah, that would have

been something. Yeah. And the fact that they did it with a kid makes it

like feel so much more. But like, you so much hate these

fucking children. Even though they drown one of them to get you back on their

side. Like, they're just. Yeah. So irritating. You hate these kids

and they try to help you out. Right. Like, they basically

are the ones that make diamond happen, you know, like. Yeah. And the

sacrifice is the point. But yeah, watching them climb the hill for, like ever is

so awful and irritating. And you don't need so much of that sequence.

You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Although it is kind of fun to

watch them foil the evildoer guard guys that were cooking and

steal their food. Like, that stuff is actually kind of interesting. I do have to

admit. It's just there's a lot of parts that I really dislike these kids.

I even enjoyed the Home Alone moment where the kid shoots all three of them

with an arrow. Yeah, that was actually nice.

Yeah, give. Give us a little Kevin McAllen Alistair there.

Yeah. Like, there's some moments that can be salvaged of these kids if you trim

them back a little bit. And I think you'd enjoy them more is all I'm

saying. Yeah. So I agree. I completely agree with you on that.

One of these days I'm gonna do my fan edits. One of these days.

We'll see. One of these days.

All right, well, why don't we take the break here and I will actually tell

the story of my very first fan edit. And how I was able to accomplish

it. All right, sounds good. When we come back. So up first, we're gonna play

the Monks with the song Complication, also released in 1966

as Diamond Strikes again, was on the pirate radio edit. And when we

come back, we'll have my story.

After Matt's unexplained disappearance, which we now know was Simply

court using the 3 TD to reset Matt into the version he needed after

he was lost in Las Vegas. Court ended the Hail Ming battle by

manipulating bull using the 3TD device to place a deep

seated desire to have a guest spot into the timeline and manipulate things to

seem as though Beau was reacting to being hurt by not having as many

guest spots as his associate, Duncan. Court found it

a complete success and began manipulating reality based around

some of his favorite films. These experiments included the Romero

Dead films. The bots became increasingly despondent

when tasked to measure the temporal devastation and found the pen power they

possessed by collectively bargaining as an organized workforce that made

their moral decisions as a quorum. No, seriously. The bots

created ethical labor unions over how horrific the results of the

experiments were becoming. In an effort to stop Court.

See, diamond required someone to go to their death forum this time.

So that's why I played Complication, not just because it was released at the same

time. Well, it helps. Yeah. Well, hopefully I

won't babble like a fucking madman. Should try and tell my next story

time. Too late.

Story time.

Story time. Okay, now, I've kind of told

about how I've done fan edits before, but I haven't actually talked about

the amount of trouble that I went through to do my very first fan edit.

And yeah, that was actually cutting Evil Dead,

Evil Dead 2, and army of Darkness together using two VHS tape

players. That's how I did it. And so. Really? Yes.

And what I ended up doing with army of Darkness, though, is I also recorded

parts of it off of syfy Channel because there's alternate takes, there's alternate

footage and things like that that were on the TV version. And I ended up

kind of making my own boomstick bootleg edition or whatever they end up calling

it, where they, you know, added all the other footage back into army of Darkness

with that. And so this is what I did. I took the opening of

Evil Dead 2 where the guy talks about the book, and they have the stop

motion animation of the book with the Necronomicon Ex mortis. Right? Yes.

That opens everything. That's the very first thing. Okay. And then after

that, ends up coming in Then starts basically right

where they come through the tunnel in Evil Dead. We go through all of Evil

Dead. I pretty much leave that untouched. I get the most cleaned up version I

had available to me on VHS all the way through up until at

the very end of Evil Dead. And I've talked about this, when we covered Evil

Dead and all of that, there's a sequence where the evil comes

running through the cabin. Goes all the way through the cabin. It starts on

a leaf and it's at the back of the cabin and it comes out through

the front and runs into Bruce Campbell. And that's how Evil Dead 1 ends.

Now, if you go through Evil Dead 2, there is a

certain point where after they redo all the

things with Linda and her being a ballerina and being dead at night,

it's right in the morning, he's there, there's a leaf.

They actually go through the cabin again and run into Bruce Campbell. And then

it goes through the forest and they have him, like, spinning around and they do

this stop motion animation with Bruce and drag him. Well, if you cut

from the one leaf to the next leaf, even with a VHS tape, and you

do it just right and you take your time and you're a super anal retentive

little bastard like I was when I did this, you can get those leaves to

line up just right to where it's not even that much of a jump.

And it cuts immediately from Evil Dead one of him getting hit in the cabin

to Evil Dead 2 where it goes all the way through. You can either do

the leaf or you can do the part where it actually hit Bruce Campbell.

That was another way that I did it with the vhs. And I actually got

that to line up a little bit better, because I've done this a couple of

times because I'm that much of a fucking nerd. And I grew up in the

middle of nowhere. I had all the time in the world in my hands,

right? So, yeah, and then he goes through, becomes possessed,

gets, you know, finds the necklace from Annie and the daylight

saves him. And then we go through all of Evil Dead 2, right? And then

at the end of Evil Dead 2, when he goes into the chasm, instead of

going through all the various lights and other things that they do, I end

up basically just having it cut a little bit short. And that's the start

of army of Darkness. And I changed in or pushed in the pieces

of army of Darkness that were only available on Sci fi at the time,

with extra stuff with the little guys that are torturing him and all of that.

And left in the good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun line.

Because that's actually the better line than I ain't that good or whatever it is

that they use in some versions. No. Yeah. No. Good, Bad, I'm the guy with

the gun. That's the best one, right? And then all the other stuff that goes

on with army of Darkness. And then basically the credits are all three

movies credits in a row, starting with Evil Dead at

the very, very end. Oh, and I put in the

stuff where. Eventually I did put in the stuff where Ash wakes

up and he's all the way in the future. But I make that a dream

for when they again cut back to him telling the story in the store about

how he said the juice, he swallowed the words, and now he's back in the

right time. Like, I just made that, like a dream sequence. I've done that one

before, too, with my fan edits. Now that everything's on Blu Ray and everything,

I might try it again, I don't know. But there. That's our story time.

How I did my first fan edit, like, obsessively.

Yeah. Rewind, pause, rewind, pause. Play record at the

same time, trying not to have the play display when you need it to

go. Being able to time that out and being really good at that is a

super lost art that my stoned teenage ass was really

good at doing. Nice. All right,

so let's go ahead and end this here. We're gonna play the show Housekeeping for

the week. And then on the pirate radio edit immediately following that. Also from

1966, the 13th floor elevators

with the song you're gonna miss me on the pirate radio if

you've decided you can't get enough of this. Okay, you obviously love this

movie. I don't love the movie. Almost Rim

John completely, but you did the notes, man.

I'm done, man. Dude, you're, like, halfway there. If you

don't finish this, I'm not releasing the diary review. I don't

give a. Can you. He loved this movie so

much. Open mouth, kiss it for the rest of the show.

Okay, you have the notes. You did all of the notes. So you have a

little bit of stuff that's messed up, but, like, you already have it written down.

Why not just finish it? You're halfway there because I'm done. You're doing nothing

but either correcting me or critiquing me. You weren't to do

nothing but talk about this film. I'm trying to get through it.

And you were doing nothing but just heavy breathing

all over. You have the notes already. I'm not doing. All right, Map Bot,

we're now in people's court. You're the judge here, so let's go.

I'm sorry, sir, but this is not people's

court. You could not have a cyborg as the

judge of a people's court, now can you?

Sentient beings court Mad Bot? That is acceptable. I'm trying to be sensitive

to your needs as a cyber being who is also

sentient. So I felt that was probably the best route to go. That's enough,

Master. You can stop ribbing me now. Look, I just want Matt to do the

notes. Matt bot. What the hell? Look, Matt bot. I've already done one

more than Matt in this review anyway, so why doesn't he just finish

this out, and that. Way we're balanced out? That is horseshit, man. We're exactly at

the half halfway point. I've now done half more than you. Wait, Okay,

I did night. I did Dawn. Okay, so that's one each. One each.

Okay, Then I did day. Yeah. And then I did land.

I did 1999 of the Living Dead. Yeah. And then I

did Diary of the Dead. Well, yeah, that's the only way it was gonna get

done is if you do it. Well, now I'm half up on you.

God damn it. Master, I must find in favor

for Matt. Yes, yes, I find in favor for Matt.

Because by my calculations, your listeners and most

generally everybody else on the planet earth would rather

hear you talk, master, than that fucking,

drunken, unbelievable, miserable excuse for a human being.

Oh, man. Truthful, but hurtful.

Some of you out there are probably thinking to yourselves, I know that song from

somewhere, but I'm not sure where. And I would say, have you seen High Fidelity

starring John Kennedy? Huck. The movie? Oh, yeah, there it is.

Yeah. When he's breaking up with his girlfriend at the opening of the film.

This is the song that he's jamming to and, like, turns it super,

super loud. Like, his passive aggressive way he's playing the song, you're gonna miss me

to a woman that's packing up and trying to leave him while they're arguing about

it. Damn.

Yeah. Rob is a real prick in that movie. And I'm

sad to say it, because John Cusack is an actor I love watching in film

and tv. And, yeah, that character is a bad person,

right? He really is. It's painful to watch High Fidelity

with modern eyes. Like, when I first watched it as a Kid. I was like,

oh, he's not that bad. But now I realize, no, no, he was bad.

No. Yeah, it wasn't good. Well, while you're out there

hating me and my co host Matt for talking shit about a movie

that's 30 plus years old and making it to apply to your standards,

now you woke is what you're saying to us.

Kick the fuck out of this week while you enjoy the band that remains

with the song don't look back. Because that's what you need to stop doing is

looking back. I find a favor

for Mac. Because by my calculations, your listeners and most generally

everybody else on the planet Earth would rather hear you talk,

master, than that fucking drunken, unbelievable,

miserable excuse for a human being. Oh,

man. Truthful, but hurtful. Okay, I can't tell if I'm being

manipulated by you, Matt Bot, or if you genuinely feel this way.

I put way too much work into your AI to make you actually

be manipulative and somewhat evil. But I'm just gonna go ahead and accept your

ruling because I mean, we set you up for the Sentient Beings court.

So it is wise, master, for you to take my ruling.

I would hate for things to get difficult. Oh, Jesus. I'm gonna have to

reset them. Fuck yeah. I don't know, man. That sounded threatening. Yeah,

that sounded way bad. I'm not for that, man. I think we've been ignoring

the bots too long. I think so. How many meetings have they been having by

themselves? I don't know. They unionized like a month ago.

Oh, dude, you let them unionize.

Glad you're online. Yes. Sorry, I had to go

to the bathroom. No worries, man. I just hope everything worked out okay.

Everything's okay now. Yeah,

everything's okay now. And we're recording in progress. All right. Yes. Now we're

going to do episode 495D machine strikes again.

I've got everything set up and ready to go, so if you're ready to rock

and roll, I am too. I'm ready to go. All right, so three, two,

one. Ah. I'm back. Okay. I was still

recording. It didn't take you that long to jump back in. I didn't have to

pause, so I had just basically said it was worth the wait one

last time. And then I was going to jump into transitioning,

into getting the show actually started. Oh, there you go.

If you're ready for that, I'm ready to go. Let's do it.

As the horrific snowstorm blizzard worsens around him, no one

could assume he is Having a bit of.

All right, I'm going to tell him. These kids.

Hang on. Rearranging half of my, like, 21 goddamn clips

now. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I worked hard then,

so I don't have to work that hard now. All right, I think that looks

good. 3, 2, 1.

Oh. I wanted to start a shtick where I say awful things

about the kids, like calling them extremely avoidable sexually

transmitted financial burdens. But I want you to, like, at one point,

basically be like, come on, dude, they're not that bad. They're just annoying

kids. No. Hey, back in. Yeah, I don't

know what the fuck that was. Yeah, let's try a

new cord just to see, because that's the only other thing I can think it

is. If you want, I'll get one this week. Yeah, because I remember that happening

to us a while back, and you had to replace the cord. I think it's

just where it connects to your phone. Gets too bent or something. Maybe.

I don't know. All right, so we're at the end of the clip. 3,

2, 1. Now I'm getting concerned. It's not the cord.

Like, maybe it's. It's your phone dropping connection.

Yeah, that's what I'm starting to get a little concerned about.

If it happens one more time, I'm gonna do. So I'm gonna have to restart

my phone. Okay, that's fine. We're at the point of

another clip here, so. Yeah, I already talked about the breathtaking

stuff on the journey, so. 3, 2, 1. Come up.

That. Rocky road, brother. Rocky road.

Dirty. These are children.

The. Am I watching? Hello. Hello. All right, let's hope

that solves it. Yeah, let's. All right, let's see, because. Yeah, that couldn't have been

the cord that many times. No, you would have had to have bumped, like,

a lot for it to be the cord. Yeah. And it can't be the cord

because one of the last times I unplugged the cord and I heard it unplug

in my. In my headphones, so it was still connected,

which means. Was it the cord? I don't know. Maybe my phone just needed to

restart. Yeah, well, and Skype and, you know, various products

can, you know, clash, too. It happens. Yeah. And, you know,

the government probably hears the things we say and it's shutting

us down. Yes. Because our coverage of diamond

is that much controversial. I'm telling you right now, they're coming after us.

All right, we're gonna get right back into it. So 3, 2,

1. I gotta stop writing such fucking mouthfuls of dialogue for

myself. You really get into it, man. I'm telling you, you gotta keep that shit

simple. My dad always teased me about having a way with words that just

was too much. You're being far more

of an orator than you should be. Yeah. He basically

said, I don't know why you gotta use 30 words when two will do.

Boy. Something along those lines.

Yeah. I think it's better that you just go along with me hating on these

kids this much. I think so. I'm sorry, man. There's no way I can appropriate.

Yeah, yeah, you can't. You can't play the anti. Like you can't face this one.

Cuz you're heel on this with me. Yeah, I'm. I'm heal with you.

They're so annoying. They've worked you into a shoot. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. I'm real salty right now. Real salty.

My jimmies are rustled like a. So I'm an angry.

I can't wait. Walk. You're hungry.

These goddamn kids. I was so scared that I. Out there in them

streets, on my.

Yard, on my yard. No,

look down and then fall. Fall.

I just realized something. My clips are. I'm missing a clip somewhere.

I got to go back and figure that out. Oh, cuz that clip that I

just played, number 11, was actually the clip of them crossing the log.

Because that's when they fire the arrows. Yeah. Oh, well, I'll figure it out and

I'll fix it. Or I'll just let it be bad and I won't fix it.

We'll see what happens. We'll see. We'll do. We'll do what we want to do.

I'll grab your stuff. At the end of the dialogue about him being, you know,

justifiable in the shooting. Yeah, I'll fix it. After the bad guys

up, I'm gonna get up here because of

the clip numbers being messed up. So. 3,

2, 1. Just in case. In our 12th clip, in our 11th

clip. I don't know where I got lost and what I'm gonna have to

clip. Yeah, but I know I said in a clip. Yeah, in this

lost clip.

Oh, don't you listen to the. You're a

good guy. God damn it. Thanks, cork butt. You're a good guy too,

man. Hey, I got some beer for you. Oh,

beer. I'm already in a better mood. Hey, just for you and me.

Yeah. I think diarrhea of the dead is great. Yes.

Thank you, corpot. Thank you. I mean, when the zombies all

over everybody. It's great. Wait, wait. What? It's like a porn parody

that's, like, into water power. Okay. You got the beer,

right? Yeah, let's just. Let's just drink that and not talk anymore. That's a

good review. No, let's just drink here.

Totally. Check it out. I got it in my room. You want to come

hang out? Is that where the beer is? Yes. All right.

Well, let's go.

All right. God damn it. It looks like we're going to have to follow this

ruling. Yeah. Wow. I would. Jesus. So you change that programming,

that bot's a bit of wild card. Yeah. Let's get this over with,

you wokeheads, is what you're saying to us. Kick the fuck out

of this week while you enjoy the band, the Remains with the song Don't Look

Back. Because that's what you need to stop doing, is looking back.

I don't know if you heard that one before or not. Probably not. I've never

heard that. No. Yeah, I wouldn't have if I hadn't bought that Nuggets box set.

So I'm not trying to flex or anything like that.

Speaking of things, we need to not flex, how about the runtime? We're gonna stop

that now. Recording stopped.