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And welcome to the 461st consecutive week of Cinema PsyOps.

I'm your host, Cort, the guy that's trying to blow out his voice because it's technically the last recording of the day, even though it's the first one that gets released.

And joining me in trying to figure out exactly what that means and where we are on the timeline is my co-host, Matt.

Let's see, so then was now, but now is soon.

So we'll soon be then?

Yeah, there you go, I got it.

Yeah, once we're here, then is soon.

Yes, good times, back at it again, baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, so for this week, we are talking Nurses for Sale from 1975.

This film is an hour and six minutes, and still, I gotta say, it feels too long.

Lucky bastard, you got to have the hour and six minute one.

But yes, you are right, it did feel longer than that.

Yeah, it's an odd mix of pace in what's going on in the film.

And when I looked both of these movies up for our recording session this time around, Nurses for Sale, the first thing I noticed was the runtime.

And then I also noticed that somewhere in one of the reviews on IMDB, which I tried to stay away from because I don't want it to influence my feelings about the film.

I want to get as little of that information as possible.

But I just happened to see in the heading of one of the things that someone was talking about, this is another one of those Sam Shepard purchased and then re-edited type clip show films.

And that helped me prepare for what I was expecting to be a much worse movie than what we got.

If this is a clip show, it's a very coherent one that they put together.

I'm sure that all the overdubbing that's part of it will probably help in that case as well.

And I'm talking about it now because I'm gonna have to be doing some filler about it later.

So I want to set everybody up on that.

Yeah, right.

You're gonna need a long ass story time.

Yeah, something's gonna have to happen or this is going to literally be the actual shortest episode we will have ever done because an hour running time for Adamson means about 20 to 30 minutes of show for us, right?

Yeah, right.

Maybe we should just tell a story now and not eat on the air.

Sorry about that.

It's okay.

Everybody heard you doing it, my man.

I was hungry, all right?

Yeah, I had to grab a handful of almonds in our between recording session time and I was like gulping it down as I was setting up the Zoom to be able to do this next recording and everything.

So I understand you're hungry.

Why don't we take the break here?

We'll play the Legion Patreon ad and on my pirate radio edit, all songs from 1975, the year Nurses for Sale was released.

So up first, any excuse I got to put Queen on the show, I'm gonna take it.

So that's 1975's You're My Best Friend from Queen, immediately following this.

This'll keep you quiet.

Oh, hi there.

I didn't see you.

You call me cutting a new show.

I'm Bo Ransdell and I'm one of the many creators you can find on Legion Podcasts.

My fellow podcasters and I work hard to bring you the best in horror podcasting, but that comes at a cost.

Not that, but also, yes.

No, what I'm getting at is that there are server costs, costs for good microphones and software for editing, all the things that make our shows fun to listen to.

And you can help.

If you're enjoying the shows on legionpodcasts.com or in the Legion Network available on iTunes and Stitcher, just about anywhere you can download a podcast, really, you can help us out and get a little something for your trouble at patreon.com forward slash legionpodcasts.

For just two bucks a month, you get a pair of movie commentaries exclusive to Patreon, and for $5, you can also join us for a monthly screening of a movie.

All of that available on patreon.com/legionpodcasts

We appreciate it, and thank you for listening.

Now, back to the cutting room.

All right, I hate to interrupt, Queen, but we do have a review show to actually do, don't we?

You asshole.

I know, I'm just ruining everybody's day by doing a film review for a film that all Adamsons had to make.

And I'm in the middle of a bite.

Go ahead.

All right, so 1975's Nurses for Sale.

It's an hour-long film, I broke it up into 20-minute blocks, and let's go ahead and get her going here.

The first 20, the film opens immediately with two nurses in a room making up a bed and talking, so that's our first clip.

Yep, the links are here, but if the antibiotics don't arrive soon, I'm afraid we won't be able to give those poor souls much more than the aspirin.

Well, we'll just have to do the best we can before this epidemic gets out of hand.

Have all the girls had their shots?

Yep, I can vouch for them.

Good, get a good night's sleep now.

We'll be leaving very early in the morning.

One of the nurses leaves the room, the remaining nurse finds a man knocking at the window.

More dialogue and our second clip.

You can't come in here.

Do you want to get me in trouble?

It's not here you're leaving to go to the jungle tomorrow.

When are you going to come back?

I don't know.

What do you expect me to do while you're gone?

Well, how about me?

You have all these nice senoritas around you.

What about me?

What am I going to do, huh?

Come on now, you know better than that.

You're going to grow from me, huh?

Ah.

They strip down and get making with the fuck, but it ends up being this boring, soft-ass kissy sex scene that is still technically a thank you movie, but is also kind of boring and slow.

Yeah.

Hey listen, it's Elle Addison.

The other nurse walks-

It's boring and slow.

Yeah.

The other nurse walks back into the room during this and is licking her lips and then ends up being coaxed into this fucking session by the man who is trying to dovetail her in to it all.

So things are a little bit more interesting now.

The second nurse strips down and this is now a thank you movie as she joins in on the fucking.

And that is one lucky dude on screen at this point.

Good for you, dude.

You figured it out.

They all start the slow making out fucking and the film dissolves to the title Nurses for Sale.

And then a boring ass padding credit sequence we have come to expect shows up on screen.

That is all still frames with credits over them, which takes us about a quarter of the way through the first 20 minutes before we cut.

From that to what looks like what I would write up as a villa home of some sort.

And some laughing women splashing around and bathing.

There is nudities and the ladies tallying each other off during that.

So thank you movie.

And that is our third clip.

Oh, they must have water there.

Oh, there's water all right.

Some snakes and spiders and carnivorous fish.

With a mistake coming to an underdeveloped country, you should have stayed where you were as a bar girl.

Oh, really?

I'm surprised they passed you on your medical.

Oh, what?

I'll paddle you so hard, you won't be able to sit for a month.

You just wait.

Come on, girls, you heard her.

May I present Dr.

Albanis, the Chief Health Inspector, and I present Senor Herculano, Captain of the Police Force here, and this, of course, is Dr.

Anderson, the Medical Consultant on the expedition.

Ah, my dear counsel, how nice to see you.

I can't thank you enough for the help you and your government have given my people.

A pleasure to be able to help a friend in need.

What counts is international cooperation.

Is it true the epidemic spread beyond the Amarok Peninsula?

We're beginning the first operation with two big trucks loaded with first aid materials.

And medicine.

And five nurses who've had inoculation training.

And this will fulfill the basic requirements.

And there's an ambulance for emergencies.

Right now, we're waiting for a large shipment of antibiotics to get here.

Antibiotics?

What's it for?

Well, the Americans have recently perfected quite a remarkable cure.

Unfortunately, it looks very much like heroin.

It wouldn't do to let it fall into the wrong hands.

It would find easy sales to dope peddlers.

But why is it shipped here in a broken down boat, banned for all I know by a gang of pirates?

You may be right.

It was a bit chancy.

Oh, Buenos Dias, Inspector.

Customsmen are always welcome.

Buenos Dias, Capitano.

You have medicine aboard, right?

Yes, it's all there, and the papers are in order.

Just sign me a release.

Oh, no, no, not to me.

The chief medical officer will sign.

He's been waiting for you in town.

He wants to inspect the merchandise there.

And I sail down the main street?

No, no, a truck has already been placed at your disposal.

Send one of your crew, and you will get an official stamp right here.

That's your driver.

His name is Jose.

Right?

Oliver, load the crates on that truck, and take them into town.

And make sure they stamp the papers.

Oh, that's one problem out of the way.

Now, you have 6,000 gallons of pure alcohol on board your ship.

Here are the papers.

Oh, in order.

I'm sorry, but, Captain, these are no good.

Unfortunately, the man who signed these was arrested for committing fraud last week.

So what the hell do I care?

All I want is to get my money for the shipment and get the hell out.

No, I'm sorry.

It's too late.

You've been judged already, and your entire cargo is confiscated.

What's that?

My cargo is confiscated?

Yes, this alcohol was, in fact, imported illegally, Captain.

I have no choice but to destroy it, and I have these men here who will remove all the barrels your crew could lend a hand, if you like.

Good God, what the hell are you trying to pull here?

Don't you understand I'll lose the whole business if I don't get that dough?

My very sincere regrets, but my duty is first.

It's your problem, Captain, not mine.

Stand by, all hands.

As my policy is always to cooperate with the public authorities, we'll do as he says.

Yeah, but Captain, the guys in the crew haven't had a cent in weeks.

Stow that.

Bring the cargo on deck.

On the double.

That's good.

Hold it.

So, if I understand right, you want the cargo destroyed.

Precisely who gave the order?

Ah, me and the police commissioner.

A little private arrangement between certain officials under the protection of the state.

What's that?

Just what are you insinuating?

Very nice little business.

You'll be able to sell it to the natives to drink.

Captain, I won't allow such insinuations.

I have ordered your cargo to...

To be destroyed, that right?

Don't worry, I'll carry out your orders.

Watch me, General.

The minute you put your hands on it, you are violating the law.

I give the orders on my ship.

Remember that, General.

I warn you, Captain, this will mean a prison sentence.

I'm not breaking the law.

I'm just following your orders.

It will give me a great deal of pleasure to unload it.

My way.

All right.

You will pay for this?

You will pay for this?

You call on me anytime you want, General.

Always glad to oblige the authority.

We will be there soon.

I'm pretty hot.

We do everything slow in our country.

Get out of the middle of the street.

Look at those stupid idiots.

Got to stop those stupid idiots.

Never speak to them.

Explain in their language.

Come on, let's go, man.

These peasants are revolting.

That's very good.

You get it, the peasants are revolting.

It's something that happens every time.

Nothing can be done about it.

Once I wait three days.

Oh, man.

Oh, I got what you want right here in my pants, right here.

You're a doll.

She may be Spanish, but she speaks my language.

They haven't phoned yet.

It is time they picked up the crates.

It's all right.

I told you I planned the whole operation.

Can't miss.

I guarantee Albanians has the stuff already.

We'll make a fortune out of this.

And the best is that the captain will be blamed.

We be in.

And what do I tell my chief?

That he can count on the job being done right.

And my share, you make sure he remembers it.

Hasta la vista.

Adios.

One more thing.

Contact you know who.

Tell him to take care of the captain once and for all.

Where is the captain?

The police down here, you know, they know all the angles, I'll tell you.

Hey, what about me, daddy?

The Venus of Puerto Negro.

You know, baby, you've got the best-looking ass from Alaska to Buenos Aires.

You've been faithful to me while I was gone.

I've been as faithful as you, caballero.

I'll be here one long night with you.

How would you like that, princess?

The stuff was always right on the truck.

Ask Jose here.

It's evident.

Instead of receiving much-needed medicine, we receive empty crates.

Doesn't make sense.

The entire shipment can vanish.

Yeah, I don't understand.

Perhaps your Capitano might explain.

He evidently has gone into business for himself.

Unfortunately, he'll find plenty of bars in the black market, I'm sure.

He will go to jail for ten years.

We don't pull our punches here, senor.

What's this bullshit?

Our captain is no criminal.

He'll get his chance to prove it.

I'm going to lock him up.

I'll take personal charge of that.

Captain, I got you.

Sorry, honey.

What's wrong?

Come on, captain.

We better beat it and quick.

What's the matter?

The medicine, it's been lifted.

We've been screwed.

They think it was us.

This time I am here streaming on business.

Everybody stay where you are.

I am looking for Captain Jolly.

Where is he?

He left long ago.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

This place is surrounded.

No one can get away.

Sergeant, take a look at everybody's papers.

Amigo, I always took care of you.

I don't want any trouble.

So during the clip, while stopped by a revolt, the truck is actually robbed of all of the medical supplies, with the driver being an inside man helping this happen.

The captain and his shipmate escape through dressing up like women out and out of a side door after pretending to be waiters to hide from the pigs in the bar.

This leads to a sequence of the men pulling a some like it hot as they scurry through the streets, trying to pride and pretend like they are women.

But they're recognized by a pig, which makes cause for a chase scene, and then a fight scene where the sailors in drag fight the soldiers.

Well, pigs and soldiers, they're kind of a police military force of some sort.

And then they fail miserably because they're all knocked out.

They make it as cartoonish and buffoonish as possible.

They cut from this to the nurses packing up some medical trucks.

And our fourth clip.

Elizabeth, look at Angelique.

She's going to bring along all her makeup, and you said I couldn't even bring a photo album.

Oh, let her take her idiotic pictures, but it's not the same.

Makeup is really essential.

Even in the middle of Sioux Indians, a girl should have her makeup.

Those Indians aren't Siouxs.

They're Orinoco Indians.

The Putbeers tribe, I think.

I was here on another medical mission some time ago.

Hmm, that's right.

I'm older than you think.

She's a peach, isn't she?

They're supposed to bring good luck.

Oh, yes, in a way.

Everybody needs a good luck charm.

Let's go, girl.

Take those cases down.

We're supposed to unpack.

We won't be leaving for two days more.

They must be nuts.

Just like the army.

Hurry up and wait.

Hey, your pictures.

Be careful, will you?

What?

What do you say we take out the pictures of her man and put him in the pictures of gorillas?

Watch out, we almost fell.

It doesn't matter, I'm ready to fall at your feet.

You know, for an engineer, you're pretty romantic.

That's all a bluff.

No, when I'm with you, I feel as if I'm a backward school kid trying to create an impression.

Why must you always be so obvious?

What'll the others think?

Some force or other keeps driving me on to do daring things.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

You're supposed to examine two guys at the police station.

The council himself called.

The council called?

That's strange.

That isn't ordinarily my duty.

Okay, my pleasure.

I want to see the council, find out if we'll be issued guns.

Why, you want to shoot somebody?

No, but in the jungle, we could run into some surprises.

In this country, surprise is the rule.

That's the way I look at it.

That clip was only like under two minutes, and it felt like four.

Yeah, that felt like way longer than two minutes.

What the hell?

Yeah, all right, so they all drive off together, and that takes us pretty much to the first third of the film being done right now.

Well, things happen.

Yeah, so the nurses that are for sale are actually nurses that are there for the Red Cross or one of those types of organizations, and they're volunteering in this nation because it has a serious lack of proper medical care for its civilians, and that's why they're there.

They're trying to help people out, and they're being manipulated and used by what is obviously a dictator regime because they have a military force and a police force that are the exact same thing.

Yep, pretty much.

Welcome to America.

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry, this is another...

It's America, but like a South America, yeah.

Yeah, no, it's America, it's ours.

I mean, it's where we're headed.

It's not where we are currently.

Oh, you could have fooled me.

It was so the way cops treat the people these days, but all right.

Well, and ever since 9-11, they have been militarized, but we're not here to make this all political, Matt.

It's just ending up that way.

But I want to.

Then make your own podcast about politics, my friend.

All right.

Nobody wants to listen to that.

Nobody wants to listen to another white dude trying to tell everybody about politics.

All right?

We've had enough of that malarkey.

Which is why I'm trying to keep it off the show.

Yeah, nope.

You're right.

You're right.

You're right.

All right.

It's still more fascinating in this film.

We skipped the long-ass clip that's like eight minutes, and I apologize to everybody that they had to listen to it.

But as it was surly the last time I did notes, it's now everybody's fucking problem, this dialogue.

Yeah, right.

Everyone's got to deal with this.

Yeah, we all have to endure this before we get to year 10 when it's actually going to be good.

I'm sorry, everybody, but this is just where it is.

We have to do the work before we can have the reward.

Yeah, we got to do the work before we can have fun.

Speaking to that, why don't we just move on to the next 20?

What do you think?

Yeah, I agree.

All right, so the next 20 starts back at the ship with the crew.

And well, there's dialogue.

So that's once again, everybody's problem in our next clip.

Just our luck to get picked up after two hours of liberty.

Now how we get away?

And I think when it gets dark, we can jump ship and they won't see it.

Whatever happens, we better get the captain back.

We go a short midnight tonight.

Yeah, I feel a lot better, Captain.

Yeah, it's a good thing you are feeling better.

I asked for a doctor, not a nurse.

There's no mistake, I'm a doctor.

Sorry, Doctor, I see you're a compatriot.

Dr.

Anderson from the Red Cross.

Our consul asked me to take a look.

Yeah, that's right, it's for Oliver here.

He's one of the men on my crew, the name's Oliver Nicholson.

See what you can do for him, will you?

Looks pretty serious.

Mm-hmm.

Will you please sit down?

Thanks, Miss Doctor.

Or Mrs., is it?

You know, it's a funny thing.

I was minding my own business, and I walked right into an open door.

And it's amazing how much it resembles a police club.

Oh, you know what happened there.

Mm-hmm.

It looks pretty bad.

Ow, it hurts.

I'm sorry.

They found a spot where there wasn't already a bump.

You got to admit, they're good marksmen.

I was just remembering how long it's been since I spoke to a woman from home.

I wonder, are you married?

No, but it's none of your business, is it?

You're right.

I shouldn't ask.

Only it's been so long, I've been away so long.

And a man forgets there are such beautiful women at home.

You ought to go back more often and have a look around.

That's just what I don't want.

I've spent quite a few years trying to forget all about home.

Only seeing you like this makes me remember it again.

I imagine you have good reason why you can't go home.

I could go back if I wanted.

Yeah, only we don't want to.

The captain and me were men at a sea.

Uh-huh, and from the mountains myself.

Oh, my wife was also from the mountains.

She was killed in an accident.

Oh, sorry, I didn't know about that.

Ouch!

Oliver, stop interrupting.

You get all of a beautiful girl's attention, and you're complaining.

Complaining with pleasure, Captain.

Yeah, it sounds like it.

If I may ask, Doctor, how does it happen that you're here in this godforsaken hole?

I was sent here as part of a medical unit.

We're here to fight the epidemic in the jungle.

That takes a lot of courage.

And I thought that pretty young women were only interested in jewels, furs.

Really?

Well, if I may say so, you're out of touch with this generation.

That's pretty hard to take.

But it's true.

There.

When I see a charming girl like you, I feel homesick, and certain other feelings as well.

I can't help you there, Captain.

I didn't think so.

I'm sorry about that.

Couldn't you give these guys sleeping pills?

I have my duty.

Sedating local politicians isn't part of it.

No, of course not.

But perhaps you'd tell the Consul that I'm innocent.

I had nothing to do with all this.

Is it really true that you're innocent?

I'm innocent.

Of course I'm innocent.

Don't you believe me?

All right.

I'll talk to him then.

Thanks.

Hey, hold on to your hat.

I hope the Consul can intercede for those men.

He made a promise to look into it.

Are you sure that the Captain wasn't lying?

The Captain's an honest man.

I know he is.

Well, that old seawolf has sure made quite an impression on you, it would appear.

And besides, we can't just ignore our compatriots, can we?

Can't we?

This doesn't look like getting back with the others.

What are they stopping us for?

Go ahead.

Get out.

We're on a medical mission.

Good medicine you've got, see?

What is the meaning of this?

You could say you are all our prisoners.

You can see that.

You know who we are.

I will protest to the president of this country.

You protest, but for now, you're our prisoners.

And we know it's a big honor having prisoners like you.

That is the way it is.

Everyone, stay in the trucks.

What are you guys, crazy?

What are you trying to prove with all this?

My God, he's a world-famous scientist.

He fires at me?

My shooting?

If he has a gun and wants to shoot us, then for me, he's no scientist.

You son of a bitch.

I need assistance.

If one of these goons tries to put a finger on us, we'll scratch his eyes out.

Careful, honey.

Listen, we've got to get out of here.

If you don't do what you're told, we'll kill him.

Okay, everybody in the back of the truck, fast.

Stay where you are, or this one's dead.

Get in the jeep.

You, here, drive.

You don't like the food?

Oh, you too.

Come on.

I'm kicking his ass.

I will report you to the chief.

Oliver, I've had a belly full of this chicken shit.

What those jackasses don't know is that your captain always has an ace up his sleeve.

Yeah, and me too.

At the end of the clip, we see the ship's crew executing a plan to free their captain by sneaking on to the compound where he is being held.

They are pretending to be what looks like painters in a truck.

The crew sees the captain in the upper cell window while fake unloading their gear.

There is some dialogue between the captain and his cellmate in our next clip.

Capitano.

Hey, Capitano, I wouldn't mind having one of your weeds.

No, not permitted.

Prisoners forbidden to smoke.

Oh, just one.

I'll pay you a dollar for one cigarette, okay?

You pay all that?

Yeah.

It's the chance of a lifetime, Capitano.

Show me your dollar.

Sure, come and take a look.

You really got a dollar?

Pleasant dreams.

The lesson here is, fascist dictators pay your guards better, so they're not easily bribable.

Right?

Usually dictators don't do that, though.

Dictators never have a long shelf life, and usually their end is always really bad.

I don't know why somebody would want to be one.

They subdue that guard and tie him up, lock him in the cell behind them as they make their escape, and the crew uses the barrels they unpacked to roll out the prisoners and have to pull some antics when questioned by a guard and one of the hidden men sneezes.

This routine would fall completely flat if it weren't making a pig look foolish, so it gets a pass from me.

The crew fire up the truck and head through the gate and discuss things in our seventh clip.

I can smell it, we're near the sea.

Come on, here we are.

I feel like a sardine.

Yeah, couldn't you find anything better?

Sorry, Captain, but that's our first class jailbreak service.

You're terrific, I really mean it.

I want to thank all of you.

Another day in there, and I'd have gone round the bend.

It's absolutely true.

By tomorrow, the captain would have sworn off the booze.

Let's go, friends, all aboard.

The quicker we're away, the better I'll like it.

They have guards all over.

If they catch you going aboard, we've had it.

We've been ordered to leave within six hours, Skipper.

And the ship is surrounded with guards?

Yes, and don't worry, they'll search every inch to lay fire on you, Skipper.

Shit, then I guess the ship is going to have to sail without a Skipper.

No chance of that.

Listen to what I'm saying.

You find the port of Pungala, and we'll try to meet you there.

We'll find our way through the jungle.

What, Skipper?

No buts.

I'm not going to let them confiscate my ship.

Two sailors on dry land, you'll have about as much chance as a turtle without a shell.

But it's the only way.

Oh, you forgot this at Niko's.

Here.

Yeah, thanks.

Your captain's still got a trick or two up his sleeve.

We can count on good old Niko to put us afloat again.

Now, get out of my sight, you sea rats.

Eric, take command.

That in order, Captain?

Yes, it's in order.

Am I in the habit of asking for advice?

You get that ship into Pungala in one piece, or else I'm going to string you up.

Stand to.

Beat it.

I don't want to see your ugly mugs.

Captain, take care of yourself.

If you see a black cat, don't let it cross in front of you, huh?

You better watch it, too.

If you see any pink elephants on your course, steer around them.

Captain whose ship sails without him is the most ridiculous son of a bitch in this whole cockeyed world.

Yeah, as bad as me.

A sailor on foot is, there ought to be a saying like that.

The film cuts away from this to a compound somewhere in the same climate, with a guard doing what looks like century rounds of the perimeter of the grounds.

Two men exit the large building talking, so fuck it, dialogue, next clip.

As it should be.

Jose, what does he want?

It might be important to him.

He wouldn't come all this way.

Well, yes, compañeros.

Saludos.

The boss sent me to have a look at everything.

We've been good about obeying his orders.

Why does he send you to spy on us?

Don't get excited, amigo.

Tomorrow, we're telling the government, foreigners are in our hands, and we exchange them for our men.

They are holding prisoners.

Where are the girls, huh?

Over there.

Can I see them?

Yeah, sure.

Come on, I'll show you.

This place is driving me crazy.

It's all those bugs and lizards.

If it goes on much longer, I'll flip out.

I can't...

Let's take a look.

Listen, I mean it.

I can't go on doing nothing.

I'm going to ask if we can visit Dr.

Custell.

Hey, you, blondie.

Thanks.

Don't mention it.

It was a pleasure.

I only want to ask to see Dr.

Kastel.

He was badly wounded.

He's breathing easier.

He's still unconscious.

It's serious, isn't it?

The bullet's out, but he should go to the hospital.

I'll give him a tetan shot.

I had a little chat with one of those guys.

They're making an ultimatum today.

The authorities release all of their men for us or else.

Or else?

You know, damn well what they think.

Hey, you, blondie.

I'm going to escape some time tonight.

I've got it all worked out.

And when they find you're missing, they'll take revenge on some of the girls.

Don't risk it, it's not worth it.

Go lie down.

You look very tired.

I'm going to wash, I'll be right back.

I got permission to take her for a walk.

That's all right with me.

But remember, don't damage her merchandise.

We need them to get our compadres back.

Don't worry, why would anybody hurt you and hang as lovely as this is?

So how do I treat you?

All right.

What would happen to us now?

Nothing.

Nobody will harm you.

Unless they release our men, we'll release you.

Can you help us escape?

Impossible, even if I wanted to.

Then how about me?

You can help me escape.

Look around, nobody will ever know I'm missing.

I'm sure it gets pretty lonely around here.

All right, at the end of the clip there, there was a cut from the guy who was going to use his position of authority to get sex out of one of the women, but have it be much more compliant, to another guy who just decided he was just going to go ahead and rape the main female doctor that is in charge of all of these nurses.

Essentially is what ends up happening.

And then at the end of that, the attempted rapist is pulled off by the engineer guy that's driving them and was into that doctor lady and flirting with her.

And then that attempted rapist pulls a switchblade on the man trying to prevent that rape, and that starts a fight sequence set to that library action jazz music you heard in the background as the clip was fading out.

It's real nice.

The hero man gets knifed up and is about to be killed when a man with a whip steps in and threatens them with bland dialogue and his whip.

Yeah, it cuts from this to the nurse that was pulled aside earlier in the clip fucking her captor in the hope of getting away.

She is naked, but this is not a thank you movie because this is coercion and this is a desperate move of a woman who's trying to essentially escape, you know, unrightful imprisonment.

This is a fuck you movie.

They finish and the dude reveals it changes nothing and drags the woman back to her captivity, kicking and screaming.

And that is the end of the two thirds of this film again.

Fuck you movie.

That was kind of harsh.

Yeah.

I mean, it's the seventies.

This type of thing was definitely prevalent.

It doesn't make it right, but it was like every single fucking movie in the seventies had really brutal rape scenes as an excuse to put nudity in, which is fucking wrong.

Yeah, it's just gross.

There's many other ways to get nudity in there.

And I'm really the woman who's trying to coerce this guy into letting her go with sex.

We've seen this before in an Adamson film, and he played it for like a full-fledged fucking forever sex scene before the lady ended up being told the same thing.

Oh, I never said I was going to let you go.

Now get back in your fucking chair or whatever.

Yeah, right.

Not cool movie.

Not cool.

Yeah, it's a gross maneuver.

It needs to be stated.

And just because it was someone who was not screaming no the entire time still does not mean it's not coerced and gross, essentially.

Yeah, exactly.

We're not even a half hour into this fucking episode yet.

And we're about ready to start spiraling through the last 26 minutes of the movie.

Oh, yeah.

Let's go have fun.

All right.

So the final 26 starts with the captain and his fellow fugitive shipmate having some dialogue and our ninth clip behind my friends doesn't take a genius to guess this is the first place you come and if the captain three years ago hadn't blasted all those Puerto Ricans who were just about to carve you up in fact you owe the captain your ass you know that so don't you try to wrangle out of helping him wait a minute I didn't say I wouldn't help only you got to understand these guys you are mixing in with our own part of a syndicate understand a syndicate so some crooked dope ring is behind all this the gang is infiltrated throughout the country they need money lots of it anyway they can get it their power and she's everywhere even to the highest level and you were you in it too you know me better than that but the man must watch his step it's my home here I must be careful to hell with all this bullshit how are you getting us out let me see the next cheap living port is a private yacht I'm told its next destination is Pungala Pungala man that's exactly where we're headed for it's what kind of tub luxury yacht belongs to a millionaire widow she likes He likes to throw parties for her friends on the boat, you know the type.

And they put in enough expensive booze to float the thing.

So?

I think you gave me an idea.

Come here.

You see that man?

He's replacing the regular steward on the boat.

The captain's never seen him, and he is coming tonight to meet him.

I see, you mean...

That's right, it's exactly what I mean.

And what about him?

Don't worry, I'll put him out of chiquitas, away from the police where he'll get good food and rest, and do him a world of good.

Chiquitas?

Yes.

Well, if you want, in my opinion, we don't have very much choice.

Yeah, but aboard a yacht, I don't know how to serve or anything.

That'll be easy.

You'll see, there's only one rule, no matter how rough, you mustn't spill soup down their necks.

Hey, my friend, now's the time.

He's getting up.

What's the matter?

You gotta piss right here?

What do you care where I piss?

What is this, a pick up?

I'm sorry, old chap.

Santa Maria, querido, what have you done?

Nico told me you were here.

Little one, do me a favor, get him in a taxi.

I want you to take good care of him.

Don't let him come to for an hour.

When he does wake up, be nice to him.

Because of me, he's losing a good job.

With that awake, Capitano, I never take your money.

You pay me nothing at all.

You're marvelous, you know that.

Too bad they're after me.

I'd like to stay here with you.

Get ready.

The captain is here.

He wants to meet the steward.

Remember me, darling.

I'll be back.

Goodbye, querido.

I pray for you.

That one, he's all alone.

Well, you see, he couldn't come.

He's sick.

Son of a bitch.

What's he got, anyway?

I just met the guy once in the bar yesterday.

He was already sick.

He asked me if I'd replace him on a pleasure yacht.

I said, sure.

Got any papers?

Oh, yeah, the best there is.

I can't let you see them.

The police took them when I changed my address.

They haven't given them back yet.

The station's already closed.

Dammit, we're supposed to sail in three and a half hours.

I have sailed without papers.

Can you do table service and all the steward's duties?

Naturally, I've served on luxury yachts even Mrs.

Onassis has never seen.

Okay, I'll pay a chance on you.

Yeah, but if you let me down, I'll throw you overboard to the sharks.

Aye, aye, sir.

That bastard.

How could he hurt such a beautiful body as yours?

He doesn't care any.

I'm going to kill all any hell.

Don't worry.

I'm going to take care of you.

Your mileage is gonna vary on whether or not this is a thank you movie, because it's willing sexual participation between these two ladies, but they're also captive, and would this situation have happened had they not been concerned about their lives, and then also that woman nearly surviving in a sexual assault and then wanting to reclaim the power of her body.

So again, your mileage may vary on whether or not this is a thank you movie.

Yeah, yeah, you're gonna have to do some thinking on that one for yourself, but I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know if I can think anything in this movie, really, I'm just saying.

The nurses start having some cellmate help out time where they help each other out sexually with some light kissing, and the clothed nurse kisses her way south as the film cuts from this to a scene with a topless woman standing in front of a mirror admiring her body.

As someone shouts whoops in the background and we hear them fall, and the woman covers up to check on that noise.

It is the fake steward as the captain that we know, and the woman invites him to help her get dressed.

She asks him to help her dress and then zip up her dress.

The captain shit talks her as a snack, sexually speaking.

She gets insulted and sends him out.

It cuts from this to The Captors and our 10th clip.

Well, still nowhere from the tree.

Oh, in that case, we must show them they're wrong.

I never killed a woman.

You'll learn how.

You feeling better?

No, it's worse.

I'll be better off dead.

Do whatever you want, but we'll have a hard time finding a cop.

Do you mind changing the subject?

What would you like?

A few jokes, a lot of laughs?

Take your hands off me.

I need two volunteers to help with Dr.

Castell.

I'm pretty worried about him.

There's a chance he may die by morning.

Listen to what they say on the radio.

They report bandits have taken some nurses hostage out of the jungle.

They could be killed.

They're engaging.

They've got nurses from the Red Cross.

Are they really endangered?

In any case, the gallant band of nurses now find themselves in a very serious situation.

If the gangsters carry out their threat, some of these women, perhaps all of them, could be killed.

My God, what can we possibly do?

That's very easy.

You can request your hostess to dock at the nearest town in our vicinity.

Stop the cruise.

What's the point in doing that?

I'll tell you.

The point is, you move heaven and hell trying to save those you're here to protect.

You will contact our minister, and if necessary, even our head of state, and prove that our country's diplomats can be professional, that they really care what happens to our citizens who get into trouble with corrupt politicians and gangsters and who are innocent of phony charges instead of parking your large fat ass upon plush yachts of millionaires.

Why are you making insinuations?

I know my professional responsibilities.

I won't allow it.

All you know is shit.

Wait a second.

Who are you?

I am Captain Markus Jolly.

I'm also a compatriot who might attest to your fine sense of duty.

You're the one they put in jail.

Let's say the authorities and I didn't agree.

My apologies, my lady, for falsely pretending I was an experienced steward.

It was my last hope of escaping those damned sewer rats.

Then it's Captain Richard Cole.

No, my lady.

While I'm on board, call me Steward Fritz, but I'm getting off as soon as I can.

There are some questions I'd like answered first.

There's a couple of questions I'd like answered.

Like which of you deals in contraband.

I've been thinking about it quite a lot.

Who's behind this racket?

Now I'm beginning to figure it out.

That's the last straw.

The man is really gone.

Nobody.

Who the devil does he think he is?

However, I shall instruct my captain to head towards first port.

I've been sitting here thinking.

Now, about some young girls who are in danger.

Unless there's prompt action, they'll die.

Yes, I know.

You admit then that you're mixed up with that bunch of gangsters?

I admit nothing.

I have no intention of being assassinated.

A man has to make up his own mind.

I'll give you some good advice.

Wherever you do, don't drag the police into this.

Those men have spies placed everywhere.

As soon as they realize that they can't win, they'll kill all of the nurses.

Doctor, tell me everything you know about this.

It will take you two days down the Rio Coca.

On the right, you'll find a bamboo forest.

Next to it, there's a farm.

The end of the clip hits with a cut to the compound through establishing shots of the remote location as we see the captain weaving his way through bamboo forest and then fields that are heading towards the compound.

And then they cut from this to our eleventh clip.

They won't let me help Dr.

Costello.

You lousy...

You bastard!

Let me out of here!

Help me, boy!

The government is being difficult.

Now we must prove that we are not playing.

We've decided to kill one of you.

As far as we're concerned, we don't care which one of you it is.

But first we're going to have a little fiesta, huh?

You.

And you.

Get over there.

We need one more.

You'll do.

Where am I going?

Oh, we got the place.

No, I'm staying with the girls.

You want me to get rough?

Now, out, all of you, go on!

You would like a more formal invitation?

This starts a rape fest scene with the men assaulting the nurses in cuts to various stages of the sexual assaults mixed with shots of the captain working his way through the edges of the compound.

One nurse finds the crate of supplies and tosses acid into the face of her would-be rapist.

This draws everyone out, and the women start to make their escape.

The captain finds the keys in a truck, rigging it with dynamite and drives it into the middle of all of this men fighting.

The acid-burn man fires with reckless abandon, killing all of his own men as he's doing it.

The captain sends the nurses off and says he will get the women taken to the other building and rescue them himself.

The escape is complete, and we cut from this to our pent-ultimate clip.

Our captain's a real man, but a man like that, anything's possible.

Yes, you can even say probable.

It's not good.

We'll have to start walking at sundown.

You really think we'll ever get out of this?

To give up after all this would be stupid.

Tell me, captain, why did you do it?

You could have returned to your ship and just have sailed away.

Ah, my ship.

I think about her...

Come on, captain, answer my question.

You asked a question?

What?

What made you stick around?

It's obvious.

I couldn't desert girls from home.

What do you expect?

There was only one girl you knew.

Who's that?

Me.

Haven't I said you remind me of somebody?

A woman long ago.

I wish the two of you happiness.

It's not as simple as that.

I mean, you can't change leopard spots.

I don't want it, not a home.

Besides, I'm only happy when I'm aboard ship.

My freedom is too important to me.

I'd be a fish out of water.

I have only my ship.

A sailor's life is the way for him.

Yeah, Brandy, you're a fine girl.

What a good life you would be.

But his love, his life, his lady, that is the sea.

Life is the sea.

This cuts to a sequence of the women carrying the injured doctor through the jungle with the help of the captain.

They stop when the captain suspects something and set the man down.

The captain is surprised by things that take place in our final clip.

Now start unloading.

Hurry.

Wait here for a minute till we're sure it's not the bandits.

But he looks like...

It is.

Yes, it's my friend, Nico.

Come on, we're going to be all right now.

Hombre!

My God, what are you doing here?

I was beginning to think that we'd never make it.

What ever made you decide to look for us here?

It was me.

What?

You thought I'd been forgotten.

I haven't died yet, Captain Jolly.

The chief takes care of us.

He put out a search party and found me.

What statue is chief?

Yes, amigo.

You had to discover it one day.

I'm sorry about this, Captain.

I told you not to get involved in this business.

If I let you and the guards get away, they'll have no other choice but kill me, see?

But you were always my friend.

You helped me in our offer.

It's true.

Unfortunately, when we planned to steal the shipment, I had no way of knowing that you'd deliver the medicine.

I did the best I could to keep you out of it.

We locked you up for your own good, but our prisons leave much to be desired.

And now you give me no choice but one.

And Oliver, where is he?

He's in Pungara waiting for you.

Only you won't be there.

Well, well, my old friend.

So we meet again, Capitano.

I see.

It's a gathering of all the birds.

In case you don't remember, we've got a score to settle.

I recall that you throw me in the water.

Right now, you're going to pay for that.

Over here.

Quick.

We've wasted too much time already.

He's right.

Time and tide, Captain.

You know how it is.

We are going, but you'll stay here.

We have had enough of your surprises.

You are always honest and helpful.

You're not a bandit.

For all of us in this country, there is one law, violence.

Stay honest for what?

For a rotten society, good for nothing.

I'll fight to get my share.

You can't kill him in cold blood.

It won't be pretty to watch.

The boys do a good job when they want to.

Back that way.

You can't do it.

No.

Even David just wouldn't do that.

It won't take long.

I'm sorry, senorita.

I can do nothing.

It seem or us.

We've got to do it.

Now, everybody, in the jeep.

Hurry.

Go on.

What are you waiting for?

Get in.

Hold it.

Nobody move.

Okay, girls, over here.

It's a good thing that Carl decided to come back just now.

Otherwise, I would have been a dead dog.

He jumped all four of those guys.

He did a terrific job.

Nico, stop.

Nico runs off.

The captain gives chase at the end of the clip there, and Nico hops on a rowboat.

The captain takes aim, but will not shoot the pig in the back.

He states the man will make a good dinner for the piranhas, and then we see the rowboat go over a waterfall and a hard cut.

Then it cuts again to the captain on his ship, leaving port with the nurses all happy and waving goodbye to him.

Fade to black and roll credits.

Okay, well, yeah, it faded to black, and yes, they rolled credits, but it was more like they just did the end popped up, with a, it just had a question mark, like they do in some of the movies, like, is it the end?

Is it?

Yeah.

Is it the end?

We definitely kind of, we kind of would wish that it would be the end, absolutely.

Yeah, you definitely want this not to have to keep happening.

Yeah, yeah, this, oof, this was not good.

This was definitely, it's only an hour and six minutes, and we somehow managed to squeeze about 40 plus minutes of talking altogether out of it so far.

And yeah, everything that we said is what happens in the film, but it's so slow.

Like, even the parts of the clips where I just left the space that happens between the dialogue, the clips are like 30 and 40 seconds, and they feel like two minutes.

The ones that are two minutes feel like four or maybe five.

And that eight minute clip was so unbearable.

We played it at double speed, and I still stopped it up furly for us.

And then everybody's problem is going to have to listen to the episode, you know?

So.

That's on everyone else's deal.

Yeah, I mean, and hey, I play the episodes back for quality assurance purposes.

So I listen to these clips so many goddamn times and suffer for everyone.

The least you could do is listen to them in their entirety when I play them.

We did the hard job of watching this shit, but you could at least be cool.

And.

Yeah, just play the clips.

Just let them play so you can get the story and we don't have to explain it to you.

We were nice enough to cut out the dialogue and remove as much dead space as possible.

Yeah.

I mean, look how nice we are.

And by we, we mean me.

We're not trying to stretch this episode out at all either.

Yeah, and by we, we mean me because I'm the one that does all that work.

That's true.

I don't do shit.

No, you do enough.

You do enough for considering how much shit you have going on right now and how busy you are.

You do enough.

I took more responsibility on just so we could keep doing the show and having fun.

And.

That's true.

Yeah, and we're gonna get to the point, year 10 is, that's it.

That's the weekly releases end.

So I'm, I'm just basically at this point, turning and burning through Al Adamsons films, because I already ripped these movies from the blu-rays for you to be able to watch them and cover on this show.

And God damn it, we're not going back.

No man, we can't look back.

Yeah, we don't look back.

We're over the hump in multiple ways.

The films are gonna get worse from here.

I'm positive, but also the films are going to get fewer in number here.

And we're actually running out the clock on year nine as we speak, there's less and less of this that we have to suffer through.

So that's good.

That's nice.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna come up for with for my story time here.

I have no idea where I'm gonna go with that, but maybe I'll come up with something that'll help me what I'm gonna do here for the Pirate Radio Edit.

We're gonna play the Captain and Tenille with Love Will Keep Us Together.

And maybe that'll give me something for a story time.

I'm wondering, given your parents' love of ABBA, if they also were Captain and Tenille fans, because it has kind of the same soft rock, like upbeat happiness.

Yeah, yeah, I never heard it though, so.

Yeah, it's only ABBA that you remember, huh?

Yeah, it might have been the only album they ever really owned.

I still got nothing, but at least we have to get to a story time.

Story time.

Did I ever tell this story on the air that you can recall about how I got stranded, supposedly going to be working the Olympics in like the 90s when we were kids?

It was around the time that The Phantom was released.

Did I ever tell that story on the story time?

I don't think you did.

At least I don't remember it.

Yeah, well, then I'll tell it again.

And if I've already told it, then oopsie, I guess.

Get all mad at us.

Whatever.

What are you gonna do about it?

All right, so I had mentioned before on the show that I did some carny work, like where I was traveling around, and I basically worked for a taco stand for a good portion of my high school years where I would take days off of school.

The guy worked just like a dog, and he paid us under the table so we didn't have to report the child labor, and that he was making us work like 20 hour days sometimes on the weekends and things like that.

Yeah, it was ridiculous.

I mean, he paid, well, at the time, it was basically like minimum wage plus some, where you would get shift differentials or what have you, or you would get extra money.

And then it was under the table, so you didn't have to worry about any taxes, and he paid you straight up in cash.

But you also had to keep track of your hours because he would try to short you some shit.

I'm sure.

Yeah, because libertarians, right?

Anyway, I'd been doing that job for a while, but because I had been doing the traveling vendor thing, there was this company that was trying to get vendors or people to work for vendors around the Olympics in the 90s.

So it was when the Phantom came out.

So what fucking year was that is the question, right?

Yeah, the Phantom in the mid-90s, somewhere.

96, so it was the 96 Olympics.

There we go.

The reason that I remember this is on the bus ride on the way down for how I got stuck there, the Phantom plays a role here.

It's weird, I know, but like, well, let me just kind of get to it.

So essentially there was a company that was running a scam.

I'm just gonna tell everybody that up right first.

And what that scam was, was a sort of multi-level marketing kind of bullshit thing where they were hiring people to go out and find people to work for these vendors, quote unquote.

Well, the company was never real that it was supposed to be doing this.

And so they had people like in multi-level marketing way where they were recruiting and pay to recruit in and all of this kind of stuff.

And what ended up happening is a bunch of kids got shipped down to Atlanta in 1996 from a bunch of different locations, like in North and South Carolina was a couple of the places, some folks from West Virginia.

And then where I grew up as well was some people that fell victim to this by way of another victim who got involved with the main company, right?

So there was a hired bus that was done by this person that was supposed to be keeping an eye on us and was hired to manage the workforce coming in from their area, right?

And they ship us all down from my place, from where I live down in Pennsylvania, down to like, I think we stopped in West Virginia or Virginia or something like that.

And then they picked up some more people at a mall in this big like tour bus thing.

And then on the way down, we stopped and picked up even more people in like North or South Carolina somewhere, and then make it all the way down to like the outskirts of Georgia, where the ladies get promptly dropped off at a women's homeless shelter and the boys promptly get dropped off at a men's homeless shelter, which is the address that the lady was given that was supposed to be taking care of us, right?

Yeah.

And she didn't know that, and we didn't know that.

So we're all there sleeping for one night in a men's homeless shelter.

The guys are, and the ladies are sleeping in a ladies homeless shelter.

The reason I got involved with this, I didn't want to do it.

I had bad vibes altogether, but my sister was gung ho and decided she wanted to work this thing.

So my parents were like, no, you have to go to, to keep an eye on your sister.

Great.

Yeah, immediate fail.

She was stuck, I think.

I don't know if they got a hotel or where they got to stay, but I'm pretty sure it was like another homeless shelter that the ladies were dropped off at that night.

Well, the next day, we were calling around because we're like, we figure out where it is that we are and what's going on pretty immediately.

And we're trying to make calls, but everything's closed because we could drop off there super late at night.

But the next day, we're making calls.

Our parents are notified.

People know what's going on.

And the lady that's supposed to be taking care of us is lividly upset and terrified and just so shocked about, well, what it is that she's got to deal with now because of what choices that she made here, right?

And that got us all trapped.

She has a bunch of underage kids and a couple of them that are 18 and everything that are all trapped on the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia right around 1996 for the Summer Olympics.

Right before it explosions, that's going to rock that Olympics too.

Right, we get out of there before that even happens.

But so essentially for about a week, we're trapped down there with no place to stay.

And luckily the lady finds a hotel that is just on the other side of the line from Georgia to Florida.

And it was some kind of holiday inn or something like that where the owner of the place knew it would be terrific to publicity to take in some of these kids and give them a place to stay, which he does.

And we're staying there for like a week, like while they're trying to procure a way for us to come back up.

It's like almost five full days, but that we're in the hotel.

And it's about seven total days before we get to come back.

And it was a big thing.

It was in the local paper and everything like that.

But essentially there's a bunch of fucking wild teenage kids given free hotel rooms and money sent to them from their parents so they can eat and everything like that.

And then also the hotel feeds us and everything like that.

And they basically just left us to our own devices with hotel rooms and teenagers.

And teenagers did what teenagers do.

We all started partying and stuff.

Almost got ourselves booted out of the hotel.

That's a whole other fucking story.

But yeah, there's a lot of stuff that I'm thinking statute of limitations may not have even been more aware now just yet that happened at this hotel.

And also you don't want to name names and shame anybody.

But let's just say that romances were happening and burgeoning there.

And I made some lifelong friends, I suppose.

That's nice.

That weekend or that week that we were trapped down there.

And we did make it up eventually safe, like I said, after about seven days or so.

And it was a fraternity that ended up volunteering to drive us all up.

It was like these like had already been graduated brothers that were still involved with that fraternity of these gentlemen.

And they all had like this van service that they did as part of it where they would like drive people securely around, you know, like shuttle buses and stuff.

It was like a company that they were running, that they were all former, like all former fraternity brothers that, you know, made this company.

So they volunteered their time and drove us all back up to where we could get picked up to our various places.

So some vans broke off at North Carolina, some of the vans broke off at West Virginia, and then some took all the way home back to where I grew up, in PA.

Yeah.

And who says all fraternities are bad?

Yeah, this particular fraternity was pretty great.

It was essentially a Lambda, Lambda, Lambda style, like fraternity is essentially what I meant.

Yeah.

Delta, Delta, Delta, how can I help you, help you, help you?

Oh, for fuck's sakes.

Well, that is the end of the story time that's gonna take us to just about an hour with all of the editing that should, you know, basically pad out this episode enough.

We fucking did it, everybody.

All right, with that, we're gonna play the show Housekeeping and immediately following that on the Pirate Radio Edit from 1975, Hart comes back to the show with Magic Man.

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I still can't believe that you're subscribed to us or here every week, just like us.

All right, so.

How good is Hart?

How fucking amazing was Hart?

Yeah, they are terrific, yeah.

Yeah, just good shit.

I am obviously a fan, otherwise I wouldn't be picking it for my 1975 pick, would I?

No, yeah, totally, but I'm just saying, God, Hart's so fucking good.

While you're out there, vehemently disagreeing with Matt about how Hart is not good at all in some way, shape, or form.

I said Hart's good, I love Hart.

Yeah, they're out there disagreeing with you and saying that it's not.

Well, then they're wrong, very wrong, always wrong.

While you're out there being wrong about how Hart is not fucking great, kick the fuck out of this week and make it your bitch.

While you enjoy Shooting Star from Bad Company on the Pirate Radio Headet.

Weird that it works for the wrong recording, for it to work for, whatever.

Oh, you're here.

I'm here.

All right, so, you know, we're recording these out of order now, just to kind of keep the energy going for your episode and all of that.

Now, guess what's working?

What?

I don't know why, but now it's triggering like it should, the double space.

And then I went back and the other one that I had saved for some reason, now that's working too.

So I, for whatever reason, it just decided not to work on your episode, making me.

Hey, happens.

Yeah, making me have to work harder for playing clips.

Bastards.

Yeah.

All right, well, I'm already rolling on our main recording.

I'm gonna start the backup.

Recording in progress.

There we go.

Let's go ahead and get this episode going, all right?

Let's do it.

All right, here we fucking go.

Oh, hang on a sec.

Something's going on with my gate.

You unplugged your microphone, didn't you?

Yeah.

Damn it, hold on.

No, that's, you're back to normal there.

That sounds weird.

No, you're back to normal too, all right.

Weird.

I don't know what you were saying when you unplugged your mic, so.

I didn't unplug, I don't know what the fuck.

I'm gonna speed this one up too.

Yeah, that's still gonna take too long.

So this is eight minutes of screen time whenever clip three ends up ending here.

I think when it gets dark, we can jump ship and they won't see us.

I spent quite a few years trying to forget all about home.

Good, I love Heart.

Yeah, they're out there disagreeing with you and saying that it's not.

Well, then they're wrong, very wrong, always wrong.

While you're out there being wrong about how Heart is not fucking great, kick the fuck out of this weekend, make it your bitch, while you enjoy Shooting Star from Bad Company on the pirate radio edit.

All right, you know Bad Company, you've heard that song, you know what's going on.

Yeah, of course.

All right, so that means that we can just fucking end this episode.

Yeah.

Recording stopped.