Legion Podcasts - All Shows

Are you?

Wow, that is like some serious pain in the whole week.

No, no, no, no, no.

Look, I...

I feel like if I'm ever gonna get into heaven, if there is a heaven, it's gonna be because I let people have a free cart at the Aldi, and I judge people who do not do that.

Oh, heaven.

Go pull David Byrd already.

I know this is gonna be a great show, and I'll see, you know.

Praise the Lord for bringing us this generous bounty.

*** Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

Wait, wait.

I worry what you just heard was, give me a lot of bacon and eggs.

What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

Hello, and happy Mother's Day.

As Mr.

T would say, treat your mother right every day of your life.

Ah, this is Gary.

This is the podcast.

I'm your humble host.

We're here tonight, and I am real, real, I'm gonna have to switch back.

I couldn't even tell you why I'm so project up right now.

I couldn't tell you.

But tonight, with us are the three you know, for sure.

Well, three you know so far all the time.

One, from Knoxville, Tennessee, Jeffrey X.

Martin.

How you doing, sir?

Hi.

What's going on, brother?

Everything's cool, dude.

I mean, yeah, it's a, it's a chilly night in Knoxville, which is better than a rainy night in Georgia.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you know, I get rabbit, you know, rainy nights.

It all goes, it all goes hand in hand, you know, because he loves rainy nights.

I think there's a twang over there or something.

Dude, nobody can hear you.

Pat's playing guitar.

No, it's okay.

I was like, where the twang come from?

I can't wait for banjos to happen.

But that's okay.

You heard it just now.

You heard Patrick just now.

Suzanne is here.

How are you doing, girl?

I'm here.

I'm not in a bad mood.

So that's a good thing.

You tell Pat that was very organic.

It created a moment on the show.

Okay.

If you could tell him I said that.

Yeah, I did.

It was very organic.

Oh, Pat, by the way, everybody thumbs up.

For what?

Your twang.

Hey, Pat, can we do karaoke?

Like, can we do requests?

Can you do requests?

Maybe, whatever they want.

What do you want?

I mean, I'll do my best, Scott Wild, if he can play plush.

I think he can play plush.

We've seen these show guys, we sang before the show.

Oh, he's been.

How about blister in the sun?

We got that down.

Oh, have I told this story?

I saw the Violent Femmes back in the day on the Blind leading the Naked tour.

So they played every song they knew and then they came back out and played other songs again.

And when they left the stage, the people in the venue got into a fight.

There was a freaking riot.

There was a dude who looked like Jesus Christ.

I know, I know.

But he jumped off the stage and we never saw him again.

We think he is under the stage.

We think his flesh has gone away.

And he is still somewhere underneath the stage at Bogarch in Cincinnati.

There's a second part.

And dealing with Jesus Christ, we're talking about, you know, the one of the pictures.

We're talking about Max Seedow, King of Kings.

No, that's Jeffrey Hunter.

That's the same thing.

Same person.

Shit.

I've never seen a room together.

I haven't seen a room together, period.

So there's that, you know.

But, yeah, we never saw that fucker again.

It was hilarious.

I'll tell you the second part of the story later, because there is a second part to the story.

But, dude.

Speaking of political conversations, he got resurrected into Jared Leto people, is all I'll say about that, you know.

Fear to Jared Leto, not Jordan Castellano, Jared Leto, okay?

You know.

What if he wanted to break?

I'm just asking.

I had to explain that.

This is basically called Tantrums, people.

That's fine.

I had to explain that to my friend's daughter.

She goes, why is Jared Leto so terrible?

Why do they watch his movies?

I was like, well, back in the day when I was a pup, you know, all the little white girls wanted to get Jared Castellano from my so-called life.

But that's why he kind of lives in the memories and souls of people, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, Jordan, the first 30 seconds to Mars album doesn't suck.

Jordan Catalano.

I'm sorry, white girls out there.

You name right, you know?

Yeah, I have to agree with Suze.

The Kill is one of the great songs of all time.

Video is not bad either.

I love Buddha for Mary.

Speaking of which, though.

I didn't understand what you said, so I thought you said soundtrack to Mary and that's a little offing.

What is happening right now?

I'll be wrong.

I think you said The Wind Pries Mary, perhaps.

Yeah, maybe.

I don't know.

But yeah.

Now Buddha for Mary?

All right.

Mary, Mary, why are you bugging Mary?

Mary, I need some loving, you know.

Now, I thought some Andrew Dice clay nursery rhymes.

That fell flat right there, right in the face.

The time I was in a show with Jamie in there, I mean, I mean, I made a press joke about about the Sweetie Bridge.

That joke just fell flat and I was like, I put crickets in the show.

I may do that again.

Oh my gosh.

Okay, we're here tonight.

Talk about mamas and trucks and prison and all this stuff.

David Allen Coe, RIP, I digress.

X, what you've been watching lately, man.

I'm sorry.

I'm so laughing at you.

Talking about the greatest country song ever written.

So thank you for that.

RIP, David Allen Coe, like you said.

Listen, I watched Undertone, and I thought it was absolutely amazing.

It relies on sound over visuals, and that was refreshing.

And the tension's got a really nice, steady build.

It's a great bottle picture because it's all in one location.

It's just in the house, and that's it.

And it was great.

I was chilled like a box of wine in a Minnesota lake.

It's great stuff.

No spoilers, but if you could watch it with headphones on, do it because there are stuff everywhere.

Holy damn.

If you could get the Atmos, the Dolby Atmos for that movie, it will break your face.

Really good.

Okay.

Number two, here's a story.

I have a story.

I often have a story.

Is it about Lake Minnetonka?

Is it?

I'm terrifying you with them.

Have you been baptized in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?

Oh, absolutely.

Okay, good.

No, this is a completely different thing.

We went to visit my folks this past weekend.

And my dad was cooler than usual, which is great.

He's a WWE guy and I am an AEW guy.

So we watched SmackDown on Friday night and it's whatever.

I don't like to dub WWE.

It's fine.

I watched it because my dad wanted to watch it.

On Saturday, he let us watch Collision.

I asked permission first.

I was like, can we please, with your permission, watch my show?

And he was like, yes, of course.

So we watched that and he liked it.

And that's my company.

And I was happy to share stuff with him.

But...

Okay.

So before Collision and after Collision, it's all either on TBS or TNT.

I can't remember.

We watched John Wick 3 twice.

Oh, it's good.

Which one is John Wick 4?

Has Bill Skarsgård been in it?

I don't know.

This is the one with Mark Dacascos.

Dacascos, yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

But we watched them out of order.

So like the first time we watched it, we hit it about an hour in.

Just enough to see the chairman's nephew from Iron Chef America sit on the couch and talk about how much he loved John Wick as a human.

And then after Collision, the movie started again.

They showed the same FN1.

So it's like John's from Belarus?

I never saw part two.

I didn't know.

I didn't know why Halle Berry was there.

None of it made sense before Collision, but it did after Collision.

So we're still kind of like booked up about this network version that was like a thrown jigsaw against the wall.

So I don't know.

Anyway, I have served and I will be of service and we will watch all five John Wick movies, including Bell Marina as soon as possible and Uncut.

But I have one more.

My friends, do you have Tubi?

Of course you have Tubi because only losers don't have Tubi.

I apologize to people who don't have Tubi that are called losers.

Let me strongly encourage you to watch the movie called Night of the Rats.

This is not the Bruno Matai Rats Night of Terror.

This is a 2025 flick.

As you've probably guessed, it's about big rats doing big rat things, including carnivorous human gnawing.

That's the noise.

Anyway, this movie is so earnest and it's grounded.

I like all the characters.

Part of it was filmed about an hour and a half away from us up in Oneida, Tennessee.

Come on, raise up.

Anyway, great practical effects.

And there are so many references to Italian horror.

I just want to shove a cavatappi up my p-hole.

I love this movie so much.

Is it budget constrained?

Yes, it absolutely is.

Does it have a great story?

Does it have practical effects that are amazing?

You bet.

It's a gem.

You're a gem.

We're all gems.

Watch Neither the Rats.

This is my movie of the year.

This is the one that I will champion, much like I did Chainsaws for Singing, which is still a classic, wonderful movie that everyone should see.

Boom.

Listen to Autolex.

Listen to Loomer.

Listen to the Sequanta album with Pussifer and A Perfect Circle and Failure.

Listen to the new Failure album.

Listen to it three or four times because it works better as a whole.

Listen to Twin Tribes and then listen to your heart.

I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.

Nice.

Rocks that?

Absolutely.

Oh, no, everyone went away.

I'm here.

I don't know if the audio is being fucked up, or Gary's on mute still.

Oh, I can't, I can't catch them.

Go ahead, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Speak.

Whose turn is it?

Your turn.

Okay.

Free up the hooch, Val.