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Get out of the car.

Get out of the car. When I say get down, get down. You don't ask for it.

You stay with me.

Well, you start taking care of yourself.

I can take care of myself fine! You never wanted me along anyway! You think it's my fault this happened! Stop it, Michael! It was not your fault!

None of this is your fault.

Sarah.

Why? He knows that's where we're going.

So what are you gonna do?

Something I can't do alone.

You have to listen.

Yeah.

Okay. Or else both of us are dead.

I have to make Capone give up Connor.

There's one thing Chicago loves more than anything, and that's their money. And they've got it. Banks all over the state. We're gonna have to find it and take it.

Are you gonna help me? Yes. Then I have to teach you something.

Praise the Lord for bringing us this generation.

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was give me all.

Hello and happy Father's Day for the Cinema Beef Podcast. I'm on your host, Gary Hill. With me tonight is the guy you hear almost every episode now. And he she shows up for us. That's cool. Mr. Mike Maryman, how you doing, sir?

I am well rested and ready for tales of revenge.

Cool, cool, cool, cool.

And all the way from Knox County, Tennessee. This is Jeffrey X. Martin. How you doing, sir? Ha. Doing all right, I reckon. It's rainy.

And that's about it. It moved on, man. From our from our crazy bird to your crazy bird, see? Yeah, thanks for that. I appreciate the uh it's almost like having a uh like a um

I don't know what I'm I don't know what I'm trying to say. Why should you? It's like I'm Faye Dunaway in Supergirl. I'm just I'm just passing weather on to you people. See, I'm not sure.

And with us also from the great state of California. Mr. Venom, how you doing, sir?

Greetings and salutations, beefers. Yeah. Uh nice to be here, Gary. Thanks for having me on again. I can't wait to talk about two of the best dads in the world.

Always welcome, always welcome, sir. Um

But from one cat dad to one real dad, I'll ask Jeffrey X Martin, what has you been watching lately? I watched the nineteen eighty nine Mexican horror movie Hell's Trap.

Which is tremendously silly. It's about kids off in the woods. They're hunting a killer bear. One of the guys name is Nacho. I know that's not supposed to be funny, but it to me that's extremely funny. Like his middle name should be Cheese.

Um anyway they're hunting a killer bear and the plot twist is it's not a bear. It's this crazy Vietnam vet who's rocking like a finger knife glove.

a tourist trap mannequin mask and a scraggly blonde wig. And a very shocking move for a slasher movie.

Everyone has guns. Lots of'em. So it's just bullets and blades and incredible dialogue like we never should have chased that madman.

There is no Spanish word for Rambo. So Hell's Trap is Rambo meets Rambo meets a nightmare on the final terror, and you don't need to watch it, but if you do, then you will have seen it.

Also, I finally caught Keeper, uh, the Oz Perkins movie, and it rolls through pretty familiar relationship terror ideas.

I don't know why the main couple is together. I don't know why the woman decided to spend the weekend at a secluded cabin with this guy who is just NPC boring. They're not cool together. They're not cute together.

And so you don't really care if they live or die. Instead, you get some arthouse imagery, old pop music, and some some goop.

I liked it.

It's a one timer though. It reminds me a lot of Travis Stevens movie A Wounded Fawn.

which I thought was a lot more compelling and visually interesting. So if you want Great Perkins, stick with the Black Coast daughter. That's that's the ideal Os Perkins movie in my opinion.

Let's see. I watched Hokum and I watched the new

places of death. I'm not ready to talk about them because I don't have any jokes ready for about how much I didn't like either of them. But I did really like Strange Harvest.

Um studio documentary about a serial killer. That's really good, good stuff. So check that out. Uh listen to Elder. Listen to the new guest album. Listen to Orbit and listen to Split Single.

Listen to your heart beat.

Is that David Cassidy just then or no? It was Lori Anderson. Oh I don't know. I thought you were on Park family there, brother, you know. Uh well that would be that's a love beat.

Oh that's the that's the the Franco family right there. Yeah I know. Sorry. We're playing families here, I thought. That's okay. That's perfect for Father's Day. We'll do the Osmonds next, see, you know. That's what we should. Well

I th I thought he was throwing a little heart in there.

All right. Well most of the horror that I've been watching will either will or has been discussed on No More Room and Hell shows. So I'm gonna talk about some of the non horror that I've been watching.

It's all gonna be theatrical with varying degrees of crap. So my first

Uh is my most recent watch. This is uh the the sequel to a movie that I was greatly anticipating a couple of years ago.

But then once I saw it, I felt completely deceived and disappointed in a franchise that I've loved my entire well, maybe not my entire life, but close to half my life.

And that is of course Mortal Kombat. And the movie, of course, is Mortal Kombat Two, currently playing in theaters.

Now, for whatever it's worth, I will say that this is probably the best Mortal Kombat movie that's ever come out, but that's not saying a lot considering the past films in this franchise.

I have a soft spot in my heart for the original because I loved it when it came out. As I watched it more and more over the years, I saw the weaknesses in the film and the writing and the acting and the even the editing, even the fight sequences. So

I I I look at it more now as a guilty pleasure. The second one, very fan service-y if you've been playing Mortal Kombat games since the beginning, like I have.

Uh, you know, you're you're gonna see a lot of fan service in here, a lot of like subtle nods to things that have been discussed in the lore, but maybe aren't deeply explored in the films.

Uh once again, just like the first Mortal Kombat movie, Kano steals the show. Kano is

an absolute joy every single time he's on screen, it just elevates the movie. And if he actually opens his mouth, it elevates the movie even more. So yeah, a kudos to Kano.

I will give some crop uh crops? I will give some props.

Make some crop.

I mean if I knew the man personally I'd give him some crops too. I mean, he's probably hungry.

But uh yeah, Carl Irvin. Uh I longtime fan of Carl Urban. Absolutely love the man. Don't necessarily love everything he's ever done, mind you, but I am a big fan.

And I gotta say his Johnny Cage was easily the best cinematic Johnny Cage we've ever gotten. Um, you know, he's he had the flamboyancy, the attitude.

The uh and then even the cowardice, if you will, you know, once he finds out exactly what the Mortal Kombat tournament is. So yeah, it you get some good kills and they dispatch a character that I

Fucking hated from the first movie. Uh, I'll keep it under my hat in case anybody actually wants to go see this film. But yeah, they they dispatch the character that I hated the most from the first movie very quickly, which

you know, did this old man's heart a lot of good. So uh I'm not gonna say it's essential viewing by any stretch, especially if you've not played the video games or aren't a big fan of the video games.

then I would say this isn't necessarily something that you need to see. But if you are a gamer and you're familiar with the Mortal Kombat game franchise, I'd say check it out. Like I said, probably the best Mortal Kombat movie ever.

But again, take that with a grain of salt because you know we're talking about a bunch of you know five out of tens and six out of tens. So it's not a lot to to strive for. So uh after that.

Or before that I should say, I also saw Scary Movie Six.

And that was fucking terrible. I'm sorry, but to anybody who enjoyed that movie, God bless you, because I hated it.

I think I chuckled twice throughout the entire movie. I will say the Final Destination theme park was one of the things that made me laugh. I found that endlessly funny, but otherwise the movie is just

It's weird because I just praised the fan service in Mortal Kombat, and now I'm gonna talk about the fan service in this one just being atrocious.

Very egregious, not funny. All of the new stuff that they tried that they've never done in a previous scary movie uh just fell flat.

Uh all of the rehash jokes again. I saw them, you know, 14 years ago. Why do I need to see it again? Uh so yeah, overall I would not recommend scary movie six to anyone. Like I said, I chuckled twice, maybe.

And and you're talking to a fan, a big fan of the original. Um ultimately it's the only movie in the franchise that I actually like. Even the second one just kind of leaves me flat because of the rehash jokes from the first one, but Uh yeah, uh just the the new one just did very, very little for me.

I agree with you on that.

Yeah, please.

Yeah.

I feel like going into it like when the trailer was playing at the theaters bef before movies, I I thought the trailer looked like f good enough. And then the movie happens and I don't know, man. I it you know what I kinda got the The vibe of is that

in the original franchise,'cause the Wains were there for the first two, it felt like they were s uh parroting movies they probably actually like grew up watching and had a actual like uh love for. They had fostered the

the satirization around like movies that they knew, very familiar with and loved, whereas like this new one it almost felt like

They were they were trying to cater to like, well, how can we do something for the new generation? Well, what are the movies that came out? Okay, we got it. Because did you Uh was it just me or did it feel like

Yeah.

They used a lot of modern movies to like set up punchlines, but then there was really no payoffs to like a lot of the joke.

that they were trying to get across and I I was just like kind of

underw I d I was just underwhelmed like a lot. Like there was maybe a few times that I was like, Oh yeah, this is pretty funny but for the whole like uh I guess hoopla about the Wains returning and count me as one of'em because I had pretty much not liked most of the franchise once they left or

I guess the proper term is had it stolen from them. Uh, I was exp uh you know, I was pretty hyped up that they were back because I like most of the Wayne's brothers like humor in movies and T V shows. So yeah, I was unfortunately underwhelmed with the new scary movie as well.

Th there were moments the non Wayne's scary movies I laugh at like uh

The Kevin Hart, um oh what's his name? Anthony Anderson, the bro perfect perfect mountain thing. Len Richie, I laugh my ass every time I see that shit, you know.

What are you doing? Just grabbing some notes. I can I can't stop laughing, you know.

Yeah, I don't know, the gay stuff, man, it just got kinda

Yeah.

Not uh not heavy handed, but just annoying, I guess would be the easiest term. After a while, it's just like okay, he's gay, let's get past it. All right. It's not that funny. God damn. Like I said

It felt a lot like it it was made like this movie was uh made in the mid nineties with a lot of the inappropriate stuff that was in here, which is fine. Don't get me wrong, Blazing Saddles is one of my favorite movies ever. I love inappropriate.

But it just feels like when modern day movies do it, they do it so tongue in cheek that it loses all of it

societal weight and y you just it it just falls flat for me. So

Yeah there's a lack of cleverness in it a lot of times too.

Thank you. Absolutely.

All right. And then the last movie I saw once again back in the theaters. And there is no reason for this movie to be two and a half hours, but I sat through it anyway because

Uh 12-year-old Mr. Venom just had to find out uh if if it was even a watchable film. And of course, I am speaking about the Masters of the Universe. Yes, the new Masters of the Universe movie with uh

uh a laundry list of no names and idris elba. So there you go. Uh overall again uh it greatly tops the movie from the eighties.

I like the fact that most of the movie takes place in Eternia as opposed to the 80s movie that takes place almost entirely on Earth.

Uh

Overall, I liked the action. I liked the characters. I like the characterization. Uh, you know, it was great to see Ram Man and Trapjaw and Beast Man and all the, you know, the characters that I loved as a kid.

But what left me flat with the movie was the attempts at comedy. Like all of the comedy falls flat in this movie. I didn't chuckle once.

That's awful.

Yeah.

It's like, man, I mean, stop trying. I understand that the original He-Man had a large comedic aspect to it. I understand that, but

Make the comedy more clever. Like we're not kids anymore. You're not making this movie for kids today. You're making this movie for people that were kids in the 80s and 90s who loved these cartoons.

And we're adults now, so you can actually, you know, kinda adult up the movie a little bit. But yeah, the comedy in this movie just oh my God, I I I felt like my ears were getting cancer every time they made a bad joke in this movie. So yeah.

Yes. Oh God. And it wasn't funny the first time.

So I I I disagree with it, but I I really just grab by I do disagree with you that it's it's better than the eighties one'cause

The eighties one has a guilty love. I I will fully admit that I do still love the eighties one. Like I'm not gonna call it a bad movie, despite the fact that it might objectively be a bad movie. I mean, just because of how old I was, I love it.

But Langella Langella carries more acting range in his big toe than fucking all these buckers in the whole goddamn movie.

Oh, absolutely.

Okay.

He owns it and this is why I keep going back. This is why I keep going back to Street Fighter because'cause, you know, Raoul Julia was serious about that shit.

Tby said it was only Tuesday. Come on now, you know. It's so you're so serious about it. So you're there for it, you know. And I was not there for this mostly at all. I mean the whole It had parts I loved.

But when you when you make trap jaw a bigger badass skeletor, that's your first take right there.'Cause there's yeah, exactly. There are some badass trap jaw moments in this movie.

He really was. Like both of his fights with Idris Elba were great. Well, man at arms, excuse me. Yes. But yeah. Absolutely trap. I I thought Skeletor was like the least of the villains in this movie. And he's supposed to be our big bad.

And again, I understand, you know, the the attempts at comedy, you know, trying to emulate what they did with the animated show, but yeah, it like I said, it just fell flat.

Mean there's a reason why I go back to the the holiday special every year is it's I know exactly I know it's gonna be stacking, I know it's gonna be stupid, but that was He Man for you, you know.

Exactly. Yeah. It's almost like you can accept it more. There was no

No real parallel in this movie at all. And you know, when there was they they just do that stupid flash of comedy in there.

Exactly. Yes, big time. So again, not gonna get a recommend from me, even as a hardcore fan of the original, even though, like I said, I did like a lot of the action and the characterizations.

But again, I I don't think this movie needed to be two and a half hours long. Uh it just a little long winded for its own good. So yeah.

Uh and then r real briefly I also did see uh the Mandalorian and Grogu, which

I I gotta say it started and ended great, but the middle of that movie is so the second act is so dull, so boring. It's like you give us this great opening action sequence.

And then you slow everything down to then give us all the story elements and the and and just all the plot points and blah blah blah. A and then you end it with another great action sequence at the end. So yeah.

I mean if you're a fan of of The Mandalorian T V show, there's no reason you won't love the movie, but

Ultimately, I'm still gonna say it's one of the lesser Star Wars movies, especially it doesn't even hold a candle to Rogue One by any stretch. So yeah.

That's still my favorite one, is Rogue One at all to buy.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean I've got I've got Rogue One and Empire like neck and neck for my favorites. I mean, something about Empire has always worked for me.

I I obviously I have a major love of villains if my uh if my name doesn't give that away, but yeah.

To to actually uh eh, whatever. I barely want to talk about it anymore. I but by the way, Rot of the Hutt, freaking awesome. Loved Rot of the Hutt. That was cool.

It was a fun little little popcorn movie and I I'm not gonna say'cause people complain about it's not, you know, doing nothing for it to progress the story of of the the series, but you know I

I punked a little popcorn movie. That's all I'll say about Mand Mando and Groger right there.

Yeah, exactly. And I saw it in Screen X too, which is that, you know, extended screen where it goes off to the side of the theater as well. So it was pretty immersive. I I I liked it. I don't know that I'm willing to pay the extra couple of bucks to see it again, but

I wanted to experience it once and

Fa four DX is probably still one of the best formats to watch your movies in as far as getting like engrossed in the film and everything else. But you know, Screen X is a nice alternative and and a lot cheaper than four DX as well.

Nice.

All right, as far as music I've been listening to lately, I've been listening to the new Fit for a King album called Blood Pack.

Not as good as the last one, but uh still fairly enjoyable. I mean the last album had a c a song on it called Blue Venom, so of course I'm gonna love that.

Um, what else have I been listening to? The new Gideon album uh called uh where is it?

Uh four by four. That's right. It's called four by four. Uh the new Converge album, Hum of Hurt, uh for the Gent fans out there.

And I even checked out a little bit of the new August Burns Red, which isn't a band that I normally listen to, but I had heard a couple of riffs from some of the newer songs that sounded pretty cool.

Overall, the album still doesn't do a whole lot for me. Like I I can't listen to August Burns Red for an entire album.

But you know, every now and again they've got a song on there that hits really, really well. So and if you couldn't, and if you didn't guess, I'm an absolute metal head. It's pretty much all I listen to. So so yeah, that's about all that I've been enjoying for the past few weeks.

Nice. Have you listened to the new poison of the well yet?

I have not, though I've heard good things.

It's really good.

All right. Then that that's it. I'm sold. Sold.

Yeah. Uh Mike, what you watch, man?

All right, so first up I have another one from my hundred years, hundred movies challenge from nineteen fifty five called Journey to the Beginning of Time.

And I kind of made the mistake I've made a lot with compiling. This is my first year doing the challenge. So when I compiled my list.

Um, I kind of rushed through the process uh and picked a lot of stuff just based on like box art and synopsis. So lessons learned in your fur or in my first year doing it. But anyways, this is a Czech movie.

And I I picked it because I assumed from looking at it it was gonna be like this big stop motion extravaganza of like dinosaurs in prehistoric times and There's a little bit of that, but the movie kind of plays like it's a

like a educational science program that they play in like, you know, late elementary school, middle school. I mean, there's little story to it. It's basically uh you know, one student kind of recalling

an adventure he had with I think like a a brother and a friend and they're kinda going through the timeline of prehistoric era and like the most peril they're ever in is I think their boat gets stuck

in ice and and then it gets stuck in like a water system or a waterway because of like down trees and they have to carry their boat. And you run into some dinosaurs, but it really feels less of a movie than like

Like an educational video like the earth science teacher would throw on on like a rainy day or when they're done with their tests or something. Not terrible, but

Yeah, just okay. The next one I watched uh Forgotten Pistol Arrow, which the title doesn't give it away. It's Spaghetti Western.

Pretty cool. I mean i it it's it checks all the boxes of what you would expect. I I've kind of gotten to the point where as I'm watching more and more spaghetti westerns, like just in my downtime.

I kind of like get something out of most of them because there's usually the pretty simple revenge format setup. Um now obviously there's like the handful that like stand above the rest.

Um and when I see one, you know, it becomes like quickly obvious, like, okay, this is better than just your average one. But a lot of them it's kinda like any genre, the more you see, the more you realize okay, a lot of these are just

Kinda like they know the boxes you gotta check and they're gonna do that and outside of that not super spectacular, I will say the the opening credit scene and this is great, just kind of profiling our

our heroes and the horse and the get up and shooting and all that stuff. And of course the score is impeccable. It it it sounds very Morric Hone like, but it's not Mauric Hone.

Uh next up, let's see.

Uh my kids dragged me to the theater to see something called the Amazing Digital Circus, The Last Act. And I knew nothing about this going in apparently.

There's like a web series or a webtoon series on YouTube called The Amazing Digital Circus. And this was kind of the finale which combined I think like the eighth episode with like an hour episode nine that comprised of this movie.

Um it was pr it was interesting. It was kinda like chaotic, definitely content that is geared towards the younger crowd. And, you know, at the end of the day I think it had kind of like an anti

AI art message behind it, which I can dig. So, like, you know, it was probably not something I'd run out to see on my own, but when you're a parent,

you end up seeing lots of things just through the uh desires of what your kids want to go sh see. And I I'm hardly I you know, I'm not really gonna tell them no to the going to the theater.

Anytime I can get them actually to the theater, it it's uh probably gonna be a yes from me. Uh what else do I got here? I watched a movie from nineteen eighty-five called

The New Kids by Sean S. Cunningham. I believe this was like directly coming off Friday the 13th. And

This was an interesting one. We got James Spader. We got Lori Laughlin, very young at the time. Eric Stoltz was in this.

The so yeah, mid eighties with that cast and this was more I would say a thriller than a horror movie. Uh So Lori Laughlin's character and her brother have to move to a new school to live with I I forgot if it was their grandparents or like aunt and uncle after their parents die.

A crash. And we kind of have your typical, like, oh, the the the bully gang of the new school is terrorizing them. And then they're led by James Spader. And and

I would say like for the first two acts, it's it's not that eventful. You just kinda have your getting bullied and fighting back against the bully sequences, but it does get pretty violent in the third act.

And uh this is currently streaming on Prime, so I would say check it out just like if you're interested in to see like what Sean S. Cunningham followed Friday the 13th up with.

And it's funny because the score of this one, like through the first act, maybe in the second act, the score like is like

funny sitcom music. So like it it brings a weird tone to like what's going on. And then I guess they finally realize, hey, we're about to have violence stuff and

things happening to people, we should probably change it up'cause then the score gets more proper to what's actually happening on the screen.

And then um I grabbed the Day of the Dead Screen Factory 4K. Looks great. I know there's been some controversy over the the uh Atmos Dolby audio track.

with like I think it's like a c two lines of audio. Um I haven't uh I didn't notice it but like again you know, the people that are doing reviews on these, they will comb over these releases and like they will pick out any

uh default or artifact that's wrong. And I'm not s I'm not saying they're wrong for doing so. I'm just saying like as a casual viewer of the movie, sometimes I don't always pick up on it. I don't know if the issue

is like widespread enough or there's enough noise being made that Scream Factory would consider like sending replacement discs. I know with boutique labels sometimes they can get pressured into doing it, but I'm not sure if this is one of those situations.

And let's see, finally

Uh this will probably be my high recommend of the episode, at least for the what we been watching segment. I saw a movie called The Furious and this is like a Marshall Yeah, kick-ass movie and this might be the best thing in the theater as far as like this type of movie since I saw the raid, because

Man, this movie starts out badass and it doesn't let up and I feel like the creativity in the fight choreography is like taking another um

evolution to it, the the fighting style. There's some familiar stuff, but I I feel like the way they did like uh a lot of the kicks kicks in the fighting attacks kind of like

Using the legs in like grappling sense too was amazing. I think there's one character.

His style, it's almost like a combination between uh Donkey Kong and Juggernaut from X-Men.

Ha ha ha.

It's it's awesome. Like uh the story is like you know, it the story is good enough to what it needs to be for this. You don't need

A big intricate story when you're having these type of action sequences. I highly recommend getting to the theater if it's playing anywhere near you, because it this is loud, aggressive, and it's

It's just worth the money that anyone would have to pay. Um I movies like these don't come along like oh like obviously we have no shortage of martial arts movies, but Once in a while you get one that just rises above the rest in just the presentation and how well it's executed.

And I think this deserves the accolades and hopefully, you know, word of mouth hits on this that it gets like a longer theatrical run. So go see the Furious.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I will absolutely reiterate everything that Mike said. That movie is spectacular. It is by far my favorite movie of 2026. I absolutely loved every second of it.

Even the more the slower dialogue scenes just absolutely worked for me. And Mike is right. The story is not it's a story that we've seen in Gangland movies umpteen times before.

Um, but yeah, just this action is ridiculous. And I also reiterate seeing this in a theater, go see it in a theater. It uh just absolutely amazing, great score, great sound design.

It it's it's uh I don't know what else I could say. It's amazing. So yeah, check it out.

Uh quick question on new kids, Mike. What's more devious in your mind? Spader's Paisley shirt or them putting the pig blood on on Lori Loplin's legs on that one scene, you know.

Yeah.

Oh man, Spader was something else in this movie. Like, I don't know if it's a sign of the times, but like when he f when he first introduces himself to her and he's like

Hey, I wanna take you out and she's like trying to say no like three, four different ways, and he's just getting angry and it's like, dude, she doesn't even know you like this is and I think it's when she's working at uh her uncle's gas station.

And she's filling up his gas and he's a literal stranger to her and he's getting angry that she isn't just accepting a date.

Basically blind. Um yeah, devious James Spader. But hey, everyone's gotta start somewhere and he went on to a great career. So maybe it all started with his depiction here.

I mean it does it does go someplace in the third act though I'll agree with you there. It's just

It's slow but it it ramps up literally on on a on a kitty uh on a kitty roller coaster in that one scene. So

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

I watched all new things to be new new to me anyway, let's put it that way. Uh John Crosby thrilled, thrilled, thrilled, thrilled that I turned on Prime and watched uh Monty Python and The Life of Brian because I never seen it before.

And he always shoots to the moon about how great it is. I I'm not a Python fan because those people that you hang out with that will quote the holy grail while sitting next to you on a couch.

J just ruins Python for you and

I don't watch live for that reason. But I watch this and enjoy myself thoroughly, so I'll I'll I'll leave it at that till one day we'll cover life of Brian. Maybe maybe one day. I know X I know X will be thrilled about that too. Yeah, if we did that. That'd be great.

Um other new thing, uh I was on Lee's show.

Um, they must be destroyed on site podcasts and this episode is out right now where we discussed a Chinese film from nineteen ninety three called Farewell My Concubine. This is a great film discussion about Three straight dudes and and and a and a bye girl, uh

T talking about transgender politics and, you know, extreme opera training and crazy stuff that happens in that fucking movie and

I understand all the politics of the movie and I I laid that out when I did the show. I didn't really want to do the show because I well, I watched it and

There was a lot going on with like political revolutions and stuff I had no idea about in China. And like I was like, well, I'd be totally lost, but I just, you know, I lay it on the table. So if you want to go listen to that podcast.

If you wanna watch the film, it's on the Criterion channel right now. It's it's three hours and it's subtitled and

Usually I don't give myself time to a lot a three hour subtitle film. I was as tired as I was, but I watched this before We lost Wi Fi uh because of the stupid storm which which is why I don't gotta wanna talk about this week, but you know, today today I watched uh

the duology that I should have watched the first one a long time ago. I watched Radio or Not and I watched Righty or Not Here I Come, uh the the sequel. Um,'cause they're both available now. Um

Great times with some R weaving. You know, I people say the second one's better than the first one.

I don't think so, really. I mean uh it it kinda it kinda had more of a better atmosphere the first week you asked me than being in the the mansion and her doing her thing there and

spoilers, white folks spontaneously combusting because the devil said that was what was gonna happen and you know, I I just uh I found it hilarious in parts.

But the second one you got you know you got more star power obviously in the movie and they're doing stuff at a country club and I like when they in a horror film where the institute

there's certain things in the place, you know, to do some kills. There's a great scene where somebody gets burnt up in a washing machine. I'm I'm here for it, you know, and Other grade scenes or diven scene that um Homeboy from the faculty, uh

Sha Sean Hatosi or Hatosi, um yeah, in a while and he was gonna there and of course my uh my Boothang, uh R. I P. Uh Mr. Giles, um

Sarah Michelle Geller. Yeah, we lost that guy. Makes me sad. Uh

People like Repo. I'm not I'm not a big fan of Repo, but I saw his uh his Frankenfurter on stage in a video recently and it's just phenomenal. Uh Anthony Head, uh you will be missed. Um

Oh and that's about it for me as far as the watching stuff goes,'cause I haven't had the internet to watch, you know, ESPN at home, so I'm stuck at work.

I'm falling asleep to something at work, you know. So I'll have more to talk about next time as far as what I watched. Um

But today it is the Father's Day. Oh wait wait, wait, wait, I forgot to do something. Anybody got any beeps at all this week?

Yeah.

I'm putting me on the spot guys,'cause you know, I got I got one'cause you know I'm I'm sick of this shit really I'll tell you right now.

Well you give your beef and maybe it'll spark some beef in my mind.

Thank you.

Okay, that's fine. We need sparky beef, yes. It's it's not the like a Wi Fi at home either. That that's that's another story of me and Xfinity and me talking to to Pakistan and

Basically tell them to go fuck themselves. Like, yeah, okay. But that's uh that's a that's a minor beef, but you know, it's summertime, it's convention season.

One of the big ones around me is Chicago Fan Expo kinda comes in August.

And uh they drew a big name and people are complaining'cause they're fucking morons. Kurt Russell

first time convention, probably only time convention ever, uh, is come me to Chicago to meet and greet people and sign autographs. I'm not paying for this, but that's just not the the point of the argument. Uh

People are like, Oh, it's it's too much money, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you you go in these convention groups all over the place and all they do is bitch about people with things costs. But you know what?

A couple weeks ago, you know, Indian Comic, I wasn't doing so good ticket sales, but they announced Nicolas Cage. And you know what? The motherfuckers came out and they opened their goddamn wallet.

And I'll tell you right now, they do the same thing here, but even even bigger because it's Kurt Russell.

So all you people out there that that that bitch about what what stuff costs, I was amidst the people once from Mark Campbell at a convention. I wasn't in line, but I seen

The K full, I mean the key the Q full. I seen the p the people inside the curtain full. And then I seen the people in the back of the queue.

that may or may not be getting an autograph still waiting to shell out five hundred bucks for Mr. Skywalker's autograph.

So if you're out there and you're listening and you want to complain about what stuff costs, there are people out there that are willing to pay for it. Do I agree with what stuff costs? No, but I recognize

Like Kurt Russell's a guy that doesn't he's he's like the Sean Penn almost, but but not quite to quite that swarmy right now. But he's a guy who doesn't have sign autographs. He doesn't be able to need to. I think Wyatt can you know convinced him to do this?

I think it'd be an awesome experience, but at the same time, it might not be, but you know what? They're gonna shell it out.

So before you open your mouth seeing what folks are not gonna pay for.

I can tell you right now, and I'm not even looking at the thing, that tickets have increased in sales exponentially since they made this announcement.

So if you're if you're a doubter, if you're a bitcher about Robert England and how long the line is, that's another story. He takes his time with people, so you just shut the fuck up and pay for the VIP. Uh

Yes. Uh this is this is my beef buck inventions, the people the bitch buck inventions. So, you know, that that's they just they just don't know how things work and it's annoying.

On top of the fact that they probably think that these stars are probably getting paid. I mean, don't forget, most of these autograph sessions are volunteer. The only money they're making is the money they're charging for the autograph.

So they they get a guarantee Benama. I I've heard I've heard from from other people that that are in the in the know in the game that you know they get so much for just just just to show up.

Oh that's weird because I know I know the organizers of Monster Palooza out here in California and yeah, they don't they don't pay any of their and I mean Lance Hendrickson's been there, uh group.

Robert England's been there.

Uh

Uh mo uh Tim Curry was there a couple of years ago, and yes, I paid two hundred and fifty dollars for a meet and greet with Tim Curry, and I don't care because I'm

To me, it's worth it. It's fucking Tim Curry, literally one of my favorite actors on this planet, a man who's not long for this world. So of course I'm gonna take the opportunity to meet him. So

You know, but it's sick as he is, he's still very sharp. He's still very

He really is. And he's funny. He is a funny guy.

I I I forget the oh god damn it. He made a comment about my wife's shirt because she was wearing a legend shirt at the time. But the show, oh, that's what it was.

Um, she was wearing a legend shirt, but Lord Darkness wasn't on it. It was like Tom Cruise and Mia Sarah's character. And he's like, uh, where's the shirt with me on it?

Yeah.

And all his handlers laugh. Oh, it was great. The dude is sharp. I love him.

What one of the funniest they ever read was uh his take on yeah his character uh Carnel Rachelou from the Disney uh Three Musketeers when he made a comment about every every Halloween I wake up with a bowl, Three Musketeers and I and I say tell the kids, you know

Uh uh it's like n something like n nun none for all and all for me or something like that, he says. I I can't stop laughing. My resha like that, you know.

Yeah. Um but yeah, if if you're a convention goer, you know, I think one time Wizard World Philly was like a four million dollar in guarantees just for all the people that came. So they're they're all getting paid when they come, you know, so it's not

It's not a question of do they get paid. Yes, they get paid, but it's like what Harrison Ford did. He he he charged the I don't wanna do this, so you're gonna fucking pay for a price. I think Seven hundred and fifty bucks for an autograph.

If you had other people on on the the item it costs more money and this cost more money and that costs more money. So that was the I don't give a fuck price for an autograph. I don't I don't I don't need this. I'm just doing it. You know.

Uh

Yeah if you don't like it man just uh fuck off or something'cause you don't you don't know how it works man'cause it's The the next guy will pay for it.

I mean I don't even understand being vocal about it. Like what do you care what other people spend their money on?

Crystal Worksho the world's gonna change at making comment on the internet, Venom, you know this. Come on.

Of course. Oh yeah, they're gonna change all of our minds with one shitty comment.

Yeah.

I think what what one weekend I paid a thousand altogether. This is probably my biggest convention expense ever for Goldblum and Travolta. And it it probably two of the most

Nicest, couldn't be more grateful that they're movie stars, ever people you want to be in your life. And uh it's just it was worth it. You know, it was totally worth it.

I think Jeff's been doing Beat and Grease at his um at his jazz concert. So if you're into that, go uh go pay for that. It'd be a lot cheaper than I paid. But yeah. Go go go see go see Jeff tickle the ivories on stage. It'd be awesome. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Oh, that's the end of that, man.

stop stop pitching on the internet, please. I don't I'm not tired of reading that shit, but uh it is still hilarious.

Um, today is our Father's Day episode. I mentioned earlier. Um

Gre some some of you guys are great, some of you guys suck. I'll s I'll celebrate the good ones, you know, that are out there and doing their thing or working hard. Uh a sh a shit, uh a pox on the bad ones, you know, let's put it that way.

Uh The bad ones still serve a purpose because without the bad ones we wouldn't know who the good ones are.

Well, we wouldn't exist either without without their sperm either. So you know

There you go. I haven't spoken to my father in probably about twenty-five years. Yes, he is still alive and well and probably fucking up somebody else's life, uh, but he's not fucking up mine anymore, and that's all that matters.

Uh

Oh my gosh. We're doing two films. Uh but uh

Dads and the and the and their sons on the road and uh and you know, stealing and killing one movie more than the other one. But yeah, we'll talk about that. We'll do these in reverse order, I think,'cause I know X has a lot to say about this one movie and uh

Probably a lot to say with the other film movies, but let's get to the controversy. Not not really controversy, but you know.

The lesser film first. Yeah, I I will say that. But the Road to Prediction, uh based on a graphic novel, which is a I will say now is much better than the film is. So if you haven't read that, go go go seek that out.

And um

A Lone Wolf and Cub film and a half, uh, with Shogun Assassin. And we're gonna do that. Road of Prediction after the trailer.

Peter, I can't come to your company.

Tonight.

Продолжение следует...

Was ist Mama's job?

He works for Mr. Rooney. Who's got a hug for a lonely old man?

Papa didn't have a father.

Rooney looked after.

You rule this town.

I love Mr. Rooney.

Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE

Alive.

He goes on missions for Mr. Rooney. Take Mike with you. Enough Pond flying. Take Mike with you.

They're very dangerous. That's why he brings his gun.

What the hell are you faking?

He saw everything.

Can you keep a secret?

He's my son.

Keeps his word.

I have to protect you now.

I'd like to apologize.

To apologize.

Sons are put on this earth to trouble their fathers. Natural law.

There's a guy who's

Done some work for us in the past.

It won't make it.

Just one.

And then it's done.

That's it.

The tractor mic.

This is the life we chose, the life we lead.

There is only one.

Road of Perdition a mob enforcer's son in nineteen thirties, Illinois witnesses a murder, forcing him and his father to take to take to take to the road. Okay, I'm sorry, I can't read today. And his father down a path of redemption and revenge.

This is uh directed by Sam Mendies who not mistaken, the guy he created Six Feet Under.

Yeah, I remember correctly with that. Hmm. Uh direct the Skyfall. Daniel Craig and that too.

Ooh. Now now I'm I'm curious now.

Oh well. That guy worked on Penge Red Bull and stuff like that. Twenty seven episodes, executive producer. That was a pretty decent show. Hamnet apparently too. I didn't watch that though.

But yes, um this stars Tom Hanks.

Uh miscast, uh according to Derek. That's fine. We'll talk about that.

Uh t Ta Taylor, whose last night can I pronounce? Hlin, uh as Michael Sullivan Jr. who would go on to play TV Superman in the new DCU um

What else we got here? What else we got? Jennifer Jason Lee is mom, Annie Sullivan.

Uh Paul Newman, I think it's his last role as as John Rooney. Uh Daniel Craig is Connor Rooney. Very, very swarmy little bastard in this fucking movie. Uh I didn't like him very much in this movie.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible.

Other folks too. I chose this film because I remember liking it a lot more than I it's one of those films where you I don't hate it right now, but

I liked it a lot more upon my first viewing, but I'm kicking this to somebody else's opinions right now. And I asked Mike, what does he think about the film?

All right, so when you announced this show or this episode specifically, I mean, um I I was curious to watch it because I have seen it before and I remembered liking it, not loving it.

And um on paper it's a movie I should love because uh, you know, I love the the cast. Generally like the story itself from what I remembered was pretty cool or pretty

uh I guess easily gig digestible. So I I was like curious to give it a rewatch and see if anything had changed and

I would say no, not really. It's like I I I like it. It it hits a lot of familiar beats. Uh I don't you know, I I like the fact that uh you have a stacked cast here of a lot of actors that go on to do great things.

I just think I don't know man, it it it feels like as things unfold, it's just very paint by numbers. A lot of things you are expecting to happen happen and it stays very much

within those bounds. You mentioned it's based off a graphic novel. Unfortunately I I don't know much about the graphic novel. I am kind of interested to see like story differences because

I'm wondering if for the movie if they like softened uh Tom Hanks' character or if it's just kind of like the way he plays it because of the type of actor he is and This isn't like any uh

uh criticism of him as an actor. I mean I I like Tom Hanks in mostly everything he does.

Uh, I just I don't know, the way he plays it, it just feels like soft for this type of character. I understand like out of out of this I guess uh crime syndicate or mob, he definitely immediately comes off as like the soft

guy of the group, but I don't know, he just comes off like too soft for me. Um

What?

And uh, you know, I don't know.

I I kinda wanna see what everyone else said'cause I mean I I wanna see if people just starkly disagree with me about like my thoughts on the movie. It's just

I remember when this f you know, when it first came out, I just I was like, Whoa, this is gonna be like so good and I was just mildly disappointed. I can't really say it's bad.

I mean maybe someone on the show will say it's bad. I c uh you know, I'm not gonna go as far to say it's a bad movie. I just think it's Kind of ordinary, kinda like plain for the subject matter that it is dealing with in the story.

So again like maybe my best uh route from here is to go check out the graphic novel and see like if if it cleans up or in like uh intensifies some of the story elements that I've found to be kind of just like generic.

in this one. So I mean, the cast is the cast. They're good, but um yeah, I don't know. I I I would say maybe a mild recommend, but Yeah, it just it's an okay movie that I wish I would have loved, but

I did not. And I'm keeping it a little generic until other th thoughts because then uh we can dive into it more. So I'm I'm really curious.

what everyone else says.'Cause I I feel like this one that has the potential for people to be like, No, this was great. You're just wrong. But some people might hate it more than me. So I don't know. Let's uh leave it at that for now.

Okay, I could get the banner then.

All right. Well, I'll be the first one to disagree with Mike and I got a funny feeling that I'm gonna come in the highest on this one because I fucking love this movie.

I have not read the graphic novel, admittedly, though anytime a graphic novel is adapted into a film, the novel is almost always better. So, you know, I don't I I don't doubt that, you know, what Gary's saying about the graphic novel being better.

But I absolutely love this movie. I saw this movie in theaters when it came out. I obviously the cast is what drew me to the film.

Now, whereas people say that Tom Hanks is miscast in this movie, I 100% disagree.

Tom Hanks as as Michael Sullivan has this quiet menace that I don't know how many actors could pull off. Cause don't forget, yes, he is an assassin for the mob, but he's also a husband and father.

And I mean, i it's not like you could put Vin Diesel in this role or or, you know, some muscle bound actor who's just gonna be a tough guy because then it doesn't make sense that he has a wife and two kids that he adores.

Uh, you know, obviously he may not show that adoration that he has for his family, though if you watch the deleted scenes, there are a lot of scenes that were cut out of this movie that actually humanize Michael Sullivan.

There's actual uh deleted scenes of like sweet moments that he has with his wife, uh, sweet moments that he has with his child, deeper conversations that he has with the older Rooney.

Uh it it almost I mean, if you guys think he's soft now, the the those deleted scenes would have made you think that he was an absolute pussy. But like I said, I I just don't see it that way. He's got that quiet menace.

To me, when you meet someone like that in real life, it's absolutely terrifying. A guy that looks like he could be an accountant, but he doesn't speak much and he he just has this look on his face of always being aware. He's always aware.

Obviously except at the end of the movie, but that's, you know, something that we'll talk about later.

Now this movie's not a ten out of ten. I'm not saying that this is the godfather. I'm not saying this is a perfect film. No, not by any stretch. I do have issues with this movie.

One of the major issues I have with this movie is an issue that I have with a lot of mob movies, and that's the fact that mob bosses

tend to value blood so much more than loyalty. And that just bothers the hell out of me. Um I mean, you know, Paul Paul Newman as the older Rooney comes off As a very intelligent and wise man, but he has this son who's I mean, how much money has this kid cost him?

He continues to kill people that are not actually, you know, wronging his father. These are people that could have made his father money, that could have brought him more power, more influence.

But instead, this idiot values his son. Why? Because you share you share some DNA with him? Who gives a shit?

I mean, you would think that as a mob boss, your first priority is the organization. It's keeping the organization afloat.

And I'm sorry, the fact that this mob boss values and and not just this one. Like I said, there's plenty of mob movies that do this exact same mentality.

Where they value blood over loyalty, but that just it makes zero sense to me personally. And I admit I know nothing about organized crime. So obviously I would not be an optimum mob boss, but at the same time, it's like

Uh loyalty brings you money, loyalty brings you influence, loyalty brings you power, loyalty brings safety to the people around you, and most importantly, loyalty brings safety to you.

But instead it is

You're gonna

y you're gonna side with this drug addict, alcoholic, womanizing piece of shit who is very obviously stealing from you. Like I I can't imagine it would have taken a genius to figure that out.

And he still is loyal to this kid and it does and what what does he get for it?

He he gets cacked in the rain, and I'm okay with that because as much for as much as I liked Paul Newman's role in this movie.

Just that mentality of valuing family over everything else irks the shit out of me. Now, mind you, I literally just told my co-host during our break that I haven't spoken to my father in years.

I am an only child. I don't have any siblings. I have a great relationship with my mother, but my father I haven't spoken to in a quarter century, literally over 25 years, the entire time I've lived in California.

And, you know, there's reasons for that that I'm obviously not going to get into here. But the point is.

It it maybe it's because I'm not that close to most of my family. I'm I'm close to my mother's side of the family, but I have almost zero relationship with anyone on my father's side of the family. So maybe that's why.

my vision is a little bit clearer when it comes to, you know, family over loyalty. So yeah, like I said, that's always gonna be the biggest issue I have with this movie.

Uh I I know the pacing is a big issue for some people. It is a two hour long movie and it's not like there's gunfights left and right, especially the second act. It's just a lot of traveling.

The addition of Jude Law's character actually adds some great suspense and, you know, adds more stakes to the whole thing.

Um, the first time I saw this movie, I actually was mad at Michael Sullivan for dropping his guard at the end of the movie. But then upon multiple rewatches, I realized he thought he killed him in the hotel room.

He w he didn't realize that the the assassin survived the hotel onslaught. So that's why he thought he was in the clear. So I I kind of forgive it now on retrospect. But

It you know, and there's other issues I have with this movie too. You know, uh Gary talked about Daniel Craig's character. Ultimately, we're supposed to hate that character, so he probably did a good job portraying that character.

So I'm okay with it. Um, but yeah, it's not a perfect film by any stretch. It's not even it I mean, it's not even like a top twenty-five organized crime movie, not by any stretch.

But for whatever it's worth, this movie has always worked for me. Stanley Tucci is great. Paul Newman is great.

Uh Jennifer Jason Lee is great, but you have to watch the deleted scenes to see a lot of the other scenes that she did, because in the actual film that we got, she's barely in it.

She actually has a lot more dialogue in in those deleted scenes. So I I do recommend checking those out.

But overall, I adore this film. I love it. I I admit it's not perfect. I admit that there are a lot of people who kind of, you know, talk down about it and that's fine. All opinions are valid. I will never disparage anyone for their opinion.

But when it comes to me

I absolutely love this movie. Saw it in theaters twice. Bought the DVD as soon as it came out. Bought the Blu-ray as soon as it came out. Have not upgraded to the 4K, but yeah, that's just that's more financial than anything else.

So yeah, as far as I'm concerned, I absolutely love this movie. I'm not gonna call Mike wrong because Mike

review kind of jives more with the general consensus. You know, this isn't a movie that's still being talked about 24 years later, uh other than a few podcasts here and there.

And I understand that it's not a movie for everyone. You know, if you're if you're a godfather, goodfellows once upon a time in America.

fan, you know, of of that kind of organized crime movie, then this one's probably not gonna work for you. And I understand that. And I appreciate that. I genuinely do.

But for me, I love this movie. So I'm just gonna leave it at that and say I would recommend this movie if you haven't seen it.

Again, don't expect stellar mob action. This is definitely more a character driven movie and a story driven movie. It's definitely not an action driven movie. So keep that in mind if you've never seen it going into it. But

Ultimately, I I think there's a lot to enjoy here. So I'll leave it at that for now.

Cool. I can count the number of Tom Hanks movies I like on one hand.

ever been a favorite of mine. He's a subdivision.

He's safe. He's manicured. He's a gated community of a human being designed to make middle-class America feel cozy.

I don't do subdivisions. I respect my soul too much to be trapped for two hours inside of a rom-com like sleepless in Seattle.

So I avoided Road to Perdition because why wouldn't I? It's Tom Hanks with children. That's the strong, hard path to get fucked. So I didn't expect to love it.

But I did, so fuck you, Gary Hill, you did this to me. I think it's an amazing movie that I didn't want to like because, you know, it stars the human embodiment of Wonder Bread.

But my problem with Road to Perdition is it doesn't fit my paradigm of I don't understand my dad, but I love him and I'm never sure if he's trustworthy enough for me to like him.

Lo look at the family in that movie. They got a cool car, they got a nice house, dad's a little bit distant, but I guess whose dad isn't? I don't know.

It's never really brought up.

that no daddy's an enforcer for the Irish mob. That's why he carries a gun. That's why he doesn't talk much. He's full of secrets. So when the shit hits the fans,

Michael Sullivan grabs his namesake, his son, and hits the road. Now I don't see that as a matter of protection.

It's more of a matter of obligation that that bloodline must be saved. It's DNA over relationship.

And for me that's that's kind of a parallel because

I don't think that my dad ever knew me either, and he still doesn't. I think he pushes the things about me that he doesn't like, you know, under the rug, and that makes the relationship a little bit

difficult. I have a hard time with Father's Day. I'm very conflicted about it. My dad and I cannot be our true selves around each other. And that makes me sad because I deserve to be and so does he

I just I feel like I already know more about him than what he would be comfortable with. So is is that the issue between Tom Hanks and his kid and Road to Perdition? I mean maybe.

Pretty sure Hanks didn't want his son to know that he was a hitman for the mob. Pretty sure my dad wanted me to take what he said at face value without attempting to dig any deeper.

And I c I c I I feel myself forced to ask myself, is Michael Sullivan the dad that I always wanted? Because when his facade

began to fall away. Uh he owned it. He brought his kid into it. And that may not have been the right thing to do. You know, pulling your twelve year old into a life of bank robberies, murders, and getaway driving.

Not the best thing, but it was transparent. You know, no lies detected there.

He's always had some sort of weird secret life. And when anybody caught him in a lie, he just ignored it and pretended like nothing was different. Just

just the same old good old boy that we always thought he was. He did and he still does just he he lives K Fape. Everything's fine, even it clearly is not fine. And it feels like Like he always wanted to know how much I could take, just how weird I could stand it before my love would crack.

And it hasn't. I mean, I still love the guy. I just don't um always like him.

And I guess that's another parallel uh between Road to Perdition and and my life. Young Michael didn't approve of what Michael Sr. was doing. He didn't always understand it. And at times

The kid flat out condemned it. But Michael Sr. usually had young Michael's best interests at heart, you know, taught the kid how to drive.

told the boy when to hide from assassins. He'd never the kid never killed anyone, even though he had the chance, and he certainly knew how, but he understand he he understood that somewhere behind his dad's quiet

Exterior. I don't think he was a pussy. I think he was just quiet, you know, just shy, so used to keeping things.

close to the chest that he didn't really know how to have conversations with people. That's what I think.

I think Michael Sr. was walking a very dark path. And I think he did that so his son didn't have to. And he wanted a better life for his kid, which didn't involve the mob or, you know, a hail of bullets through a cheap hotel room wall.

I don't know what I mean.

my dad was trying to protect me from. I know that he had a plan for me, which I strongly deviated from, because it was the nineteen eighties and I had a penis and a thirst for all things potentially flammable. I drank a lot.

I fucked a lot and I didn't settle down till I was staying under forty years old.

And I put my son through all of my immature weird hell and made him live through it with me, you know. And I don't know how to apologize for it. And that's why I don't really do Father's Day. I don't really consider myself as being

You know, uh I wasn't a good one. Now, I l I love my kids, they love me, I know this, I would do anything for them, and I'm pretty sure they would do anything for me. You know, we've come to an understanding.

But I remember when I felt like I couldn't leave an abusive relationship that

I was in. And it's not like you hear all the time, oh, the guy beat up the the you know, the woman, everything. No, no, I've been in two relationships where it's just the opposite.

So

Instead of an abusive relationship, my girlfriend at the time um called my son quote excess baggage end quote to his face, sold his bed and his Nintendo sixty four, and I don't forget.

And I don't forgive.

But I also remember Driving back to a shitty hotel.

uh drunk and shirtless, with the messy remains of a Taco Bel burrito leaving a lava hot scar on my belly, with him in the passenger seat. Why why did I do that? He didn't need to see that.

He didn't need to see me try to drown everything with

food and booze. So it in that respect, I didn't do them right and I hate that about myself. And I'm still embarrassed about the human that I was then, even though I've made, I think, a pretty big turnaround.

I think that Michael Sr. was about ready to make that same kind of turnaround in Road to Perdition. He had gotten his son to a safe place.

before his past caught up with him. He was ready um to sheathe that sword.

Dude, I danced on that weird blade for a long time, and I survived. And so did my kid, arguably better than I did. He's

He's a good man. I'm very proud of him. He's kind. He is smart and incisive, and he loves who he loves and he loves them hard.

what, twenty-nine now? Yeah, will be twenty nine, twenty-eight, twenty-nine. I don't know what else you could possibly want your child to do.

So if it's true that every dad wants their kids to do better than they did, then I think Michael Sr. got that. I have issues with the very end of the film, but I think that For those two, I think the road to perdition more or less became the road uh to redemption.

I ain't got a whole lot to say about bo about my father, uh, Big Gary. Except, you know, he wasn't the most perfect guy in the world, you know, but he was better than his brothers were as far as uh being a decent human being. So I can't say that hey

I always had that uh the best uh thing in mind for myself at all the time, you know. I just uh you know, grew with a child, sprang with the child, you know

can get better characters from from more female characters in my life. So I'll I'll leave it at that. So if I

didn't have wound in my life just like I have now, that have bigger balls than the their male predecessor. I wouldn't be as nice to guy as I am right now, so there's that, you know. Um but this film in general I I

I enjoy my time with it, I'm not gonna lie to you. I mean I I I like The role Tom Hanks plays in like like you mentioned X, he he Play plays a guy that, you know, could have been a lot more angrier th than you you would think he would be because

He g he's wiping son get killed by a basically by the by the will of a swarmy fucking daddy's boy, you know, who It's afraid that his son who witnessed the murder was gonna show you.

Turn over on him and tell his daddy what he done, but it the whole time his daddy pretty much knows what he'd done the whole time'cause you get the whole thing at the end where

Mike Michael's talking to Mr Mr. Rooney and he he's very aware his sons will fuck up and he's taking all this money, but at the same time he has people in play to, you know, k keeping the raps like like Stan Stilly Stilly.

Stanley Tougey's character. He just basically said, you know, just sta stay where the fuck you are, motherfucker, you know.

But I I This film, you know, does something the second film doesn't do where, you know our our uh our assassin in the in the film in the next one encourages toddler to to murder and and kill people for revenge.

I don't think Michael Sullivan wants that for his son, although he's teaching him how to survive in their current situation.

Which is necessary'cause you have bad people after you. You you're out there, you know, ta taking the man's money out of the bank and y you know, all this stuff and but also to rely on good people. Now the end of the film I think it's set up, you know, w when, you know

When the middle of the film happens to where he's recovering out in the in their farmhouse and um They uh show some sense of trust but they also show some sense of like this guy's gotta pass, he's not gonna tell us about but at the same time

He seems like he's there for his son and he really is the whole time. He's there he's there for the the boy and the the the man that he could become and and I I I'm I'm four time Hanks this film for for that reason'cause he's not

He's cold but at the same time he's very he's very guarded at the same time to where he doesn't let a lot of the his his anger show up, but you know, he at the same time

He's gonna get his and you know, he's gonna but by by any means necessary, you know, whether it's uh steal money or killing bad guys along the roads. I gotta I gotta say this is probably one of Jude's law's most

coldest roles that he's ever played. I I like I like this guy who's a a crime scene photographer s slash super assassin. I I I I dig that about him and um It leads to a uh a conclusion that

Again, l like like like Venom says, very surprising'cause you think he died no t you think he died in no teleho shooting, but he there he is at the very end, uh spoiling this movie and I I don't apologize, but uh sh you should go watch'cause it's got great

Probably mostly C G kinda with what they did with with uh Public Enemies, um, which I think is an underrated film, which with Johnny Depp as as John Dillon's director where they

made Chicago look like old timey Chicago i i like I in real life. Uh that was a cool thing they did there. Um Paul Newman um for a final role it's it's it's

It's it's very decent. I mean he's he's much like you know Michael Sullivan's character, m Mr m m mr Mr. Rooney is to to where he's very confused on, you know

Well, he's very confused why his son turned out the way he did. I c I can tell you right now, he's just a fucking swarmy ass motherfucker, which is not my Daniel Craig people. I I like that. He's he's kinda like

Kinda like the bitch boy skywalker of this movie. He's just whiny and, you know, looking for something better all the time and at this point st stealing money for from his father.

Siggy he doesn't know but he doesn't know but he he's so ashamed he doesn't want to tell anybody about it and I just um

I'm I'm here for all of that. I can't say it's the best thing I ever read, but you know I I I'd say uh go check out the graphic novel. It's it's it's it's been a long time since I read it, but it's it's a it's it's

I like it better on paper than I do as a film. And it's it's it's weird to say that, but it happens sometimes that way to where they make uh

A small thing and I'm not I'm not that guy that discounts watchmen because they changed the ending. No, I I think it's I think it's damn near goddamn pitch perfect as far as a graphic novel goes to the film, except for, you know, the ending you get and

This um this is good. I I I enjoy this and uh I'll I'll leave it at that. Um

Newman is great in stoic.

Uh mic final thoughts, sir.

Final thoughts I am obviously wrong on this one and need to watch it again.

Yeah.

No, um yeah, individual performances I do like it and

Um, yeah, I like I still think it's good. Um, I still think as a story it's compelling. Um And I'm trying to remember'cause uh the I know Tom Ix's character sort of thought that uh Judah's character was dead.

I don't know if maybe because we knew he didn't or he wasn't dead that pisses everyone off about the ending. Um I can't remember if he had some type of confirmation or that he thought confirmation that he was dead or just

because of the way he was shot and dropped him and he was kind of writhing around on the ground. Because I always thought like Maybe he felt he was under the gun.

the uh under the gun to get the hell out of there and he thought he put a kill shot on him'cause my initial thought was like, why didn't he just walk up to him and like put one in his head to finish him off? But I know this scene was kind of frantic and he was trying to get the hell out of there thinking probably

more people were after him and he just had to bail. Um but yeah, like

It seems like from all we had to say that I'm the lowest on it, but I still think it's a good movie. I just it it didn't blow me away like I thought it would when it was first announced and you saw the cast and all that stuff, so

I just wanna clarify on that. So that's it.

All right. Well, I don't know what else I could add to what I've already said. I like I said, I love this movie. I defend it. Uh

I will stand on that hill and say that this is a great film. I un I I recognize its flaws, I recognize its shortcomings, but ultimately there's more positive than negative and Ultimately I have no issues with any of the performances in this movie.

Um, I mean, and no one's even mentioned that this is an Oscar winning movie for the cinematographer. I mean, there's some beautiful cinematography in this film, obviously, as it did win the Oscars. So um it it It it's a movie that I don't return to that often.

Uh only because A, it's long, B, it's a little slow. Uh you know, I like my more fast paced uh films, uh espe my quote unquote fun films, if you will.

And this is definitely not a fun film by any stretch of the imagination. But I mean, if you like good acting, good directing, good editing, and especially good cinematography.

I think there's no reason to check this one out. But like I said, the long and the short of it is I absolutely love this movie. I have since day one.

I just watched it again today for probably only like the fifth or sixth time ever, despite the fact that I've own it, owned it on multiple formats.

And it still hits me hard, man. Yeah, I still I still get the feels at the end.

And um I'm almost upset that they never show us Auntie. I've uh obviously Auntie is no longer with us because Jude Law's character was in the house.

But I felt like they glossed over that a little bit and I would have liked to have at least gotten some I mean, we get the confirmation that Auntie's definitely gone because the kid takes the dog with him when he goes back to the farm. So

Obviously, you know, that's basically the confirmation that yes, Auntie was taken out, but I still would have liked to have seen that scene as well. Not that Auntie's gonna put up much of a fight against Jude Law, but I still would have

Obviously it probably it ruins the surprise, but I mean they could have done it post mortem, like you know, after the fact, show us what happened with Jude Law arriving at the house first, but ultimately

I like I said, I love the movie and I'm gonna shut up about it because I could talk about it for at least another hour. So yeah. Uh I'll just say, yeah, high recommend from me. Check this one out.

Cool.

Yeah, it was a first time watch for me, obviously, and um I'll recommend it. I liked it. I

Can't guarantee I'll go back to it every four or five months. Um I think it has a lot more to do with

I don't know, f family secrets than really it being a straight up mob movie. So that resonates with me a lot. Again, dude you can't have a Father's Day

show with movies about father-son relationships and not expect to stir up something in in a lot of a lot of guys. So yeah, it stirred me up a little bit and um made me think. And I don't

I don't get that with half the shit that I watch. I don't get to think. So

I I respect that if nothing else. So yeah. If you've not seen it, watch it, you know, watch it two or three more times and find things to complain about. But as far as I'm concerned, there probably aren't many.

Cool. Yeah, I think one of the scenes that sold me on this film was um I didn't mention this term I might my part of the review is um the diner scene where where Jude Law and Michael you know and um Tom Hanks were having the the c the conversation and

There's l little movements in there where you know Or Michael Sullivan's does n knows that he ain't right and he just keeps keeps going for the gun and moving the gun to different positions and what he something bad to happen and

It's just very calculating and I think that, you know, their conversation and

to where he knows he's the bad guy and the bad guy knows that he's the bad guy. I think it's just shot and th the dialogue is so good and and I just that's it's kind of what sold me on, you know, both of their

their their their abilities as a protagonist and an antagonist as is I really uh enjoyed that exchange, but the film as a whole I I uh I I go back to it

Every once in a while. I I I haven't watched it a long time but I watched it for the show and I'm glad we had a good conversation about it. Yeah, I I'm glad um I hope this uh

opens folks eyes to go check it out. They may not have seen it before, but I I I would recommend that graphic novel. I remember it's been a good decade since I looked at it. But um I'm pretty sure it's available in print somewhere or on digital somewhere uh for you to go check out and

It's a nice uh screen to to to page comparison, these two things. And um

Go uh check out both things. And uh that's where I'll leave uh this and the next uh review we're gonna do is uh

It's bloody. It's uh makes makes a lot of sword noises. Uh child's got a weird bowl of haircut. Uh all that in the baby cart, man.

Jogan Assassin coming up after the trailer.

Return to the vanished kingdoms of ancient times.

Nothing on the

Can match this.

Shogun Assassin from nineteen eighty, sort of. This is this compilation of a film. Uh yeah. When the wife of the Shogun's decapitator is murdered and he is ordered to commit suicide by the paranoid shogun

He and his four year old son escape and become assassins for hire, embarking on a journey of blood and violent death.

Yes indeedy.

This is compiled by r again named Robert Houston but just directed by Kenji Basumi.

Uh b based on the well based in the Lone Wolf and Cub uh universe or six of those films. It's based on a manga. Watch and read both of these things'cause they're excellent. Um

Yes. A writer again, Robert Houston.

Uh writer Kazu Kolke and G Goseki Kojima. Not doing too bad so far, guys. These fucking Japanese fucking names. Keep it up, trust me. It gets painful right here, so you know.

Uh Lone Wolf, uh, aka our daddy of this film is played by

To Tomisa Buro Wakayama. Not too bad. I'll keep that. Hey uh you're two main principles, I'll stay in this film all day along. Um his son the the the the Jairo

Uh Daigoro. Yeah, D Daigero, there we go. Akihiro Tamakawa. And that's where I'm gonna stop right there because it's gonna hurt her try to speak anymore about the shit. But um yes, um A lot of folks that I know are are Low Vicap purists.

that will not wipe their ass with the spoopy. I had a good time with it again, so I don't care. This is the condensed version of those of those two films they put together and I'm fine with that. Um I'll ask Venom First, uh Shogun Assassin, how you feeling, brother?

All right. Well, this was a first-time watch for me. I I have seen a couple of Lone Wolf and Cub movies, but I have never seen this one. So thank you for picking this. Uh, because I fucking love this. This, whereas Road to Perdition is.

objectively not a fun movie. This is the sheer definition of a fun movie. I had an absolute blast with this. I loved our opening. I love the fact that the

All the plot points are kind of squeezed into the second act and they're sandwiched with action before and after. Like the first and the third act are almost all fight sequences, and I love that.

And by the way, arterial spray, spectacular. I adore arterial spray.

I g I guess man.

So much fun. I don't care. And and I know this movie was released in 1980, but to me it's still a 70s movie. It still has that great 70s blood that I adore. That hammer made famous, you know.

so many years in the sixties and seventies. Um

The character is of course spectacular. I mean, lone wolf. I mean, what a great character, what a great storyline. Again, not the most original story other than the inclusion of the sun.

Which, you know, obviously adds that extra sense of dread, you know, of, you know, every time dad gets into a fight, you know, son is basically a target, but Man, once we start to see the fact that this kid's got some skills, like not only is his cart a weapon, the kid himself actually can utilize

said weapons on the cart. And it's just so great, so spectacular. The scene where the cart goes by those ninjas cutting all their legs off at the in the in the process. Oh.

I'm sorry, but I had a giant erection during that and many scenes in this film, uh believe it or not. Uh I love the storytelling in this one.

I love the fact that the story even diverges a little bit away from the fact that he's just hiding from his former master and he actually takes another job, you know, and we get the introduction of the Masters of Death, which

That's gonna be my biggest complaint about this movie is the fact that the Masters of Death are set up to be these amazing badasses to the point where we actually see them kill a few guys on that ship.

uh very impressively, but then the fight between Lone Wolf and the Masters of Death is like, I mean, he beats each of them in like four moves.

And again, that speaks more to the prowess of Lone Wolf, uh, more than the incompetence of the masters of death. But in a cinematic, you know, landscape.

I would have liked to have seen that final fight last a little bit longer. I would have liked to have seen maybe, you know, a more perilous situation where.

that one of the ma one or more of the masters actually has him in a perilous situation where we think oh shit he's not gonna survive this but then of course

through his own amazing badassery. And yes, badassery is a word. Through his amazing badassery, he's able to get out of the situation. But like I said, it just The only like I said, the biggest complaint is going to be that fight and just the fact that our titular assassin is so overpowered.

Like almost every fight is quick. And I'm not necessarily complaining about that, but I am a fan of more long drawn out fights, you know, more the crouching tiger hero kind of route, as opposed to

You know, these quicker fights that we got in like 70s and 80s martial arts films. So ultimately, though, I had an absolute blast with this. I oh, another character that I thought was wasted was the leader of the female assassin.

Like it seemed like once she lost all of her clan that she kind of lost all her muster. And even though she did try to take out Lone Wolf by herself.

I I don't know if she just made the realization that she's not gonna be able to beat this guy. So she just kinda gave up on it or whatever the case may be. But I would have liked to have seen a little bit more badassery from her as well. So

Yeah, but otherwise very few complaints about this movie. Great action, great dialogue. I even like the narration and I hate narration. I famously hate narration.

But it worked in this movie for me. I like the kid. He was likable. He was funny at times.

Uh his comment about counting the all the ninjas that his dad has killed, I thought was great when he went from three forty-two to three forty-five after he killed those three. I thought that was awesome.

Yeah, overall this is an absolute fun watch. This is something that I absolutely will return to. In fact.

Uh right after watching this, I put the Lone Wolf and Cub uh Criterion Collection box set on my Amazon wish list because I absolutely have got to own these.

Um, like I said, I had only seen a couple before this and they are they were always great, but this one just put it over the top.

It's a great set by the way and it's it's packed with extras from historians and all the stuff, so yeah.

Yeah, that see I love extras. So yeah, I'm very excited. And it's only sixty bucks on Amazon right now for six movies plus extras. So there you go. There's your uh

There's your homework for the episode. Go buy the box set. But yeah, like I said, I'll shut up about it because again, this is another movie that I could get giddy about for an hour. But yeah, highly recommend any of the Lone Wolf and Cub movies. But yeah.

Shogun Assassin is a great starting point. So if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and absolutely check this one out. So I'll shut up.

Yeah.

Cool, I'll kick it back So when I was a kid, um my dad worked for a recording studio.

Cool gig, met a lot of famous people, met Gene Hackman. Um, and sometimes he'd have to travel for work. So at least once he had to go to New York City.

This is before the city got gentrified and disnified and everything else, but um I can't prove that he hit 52nd Street.

With its, you know, wide variety of visual entertainment, but pretty sure he did, because hey, it's my dad. And cause one night he came home with a VHS copy.

of Shogun Assassin. And it was a bootleg.

Now, I don't know really how he got it. I don't remember the tape having a slip cover, but he insisted that I watch it. And this would have been, what, 80, 81, sometime around then. And back then As a society.

We were headed uh into a golden age of horror. For the most part, my folks were just all for that. Uh dad took me to see Romero's Dawn of the Dead in the theater, called it my manhood ritual.

as a family to see alien on opening weekend'cause, you know, that's the normal thing that families do, right? Um

I remember dad laughing really hard during the the chest burster scene, and my mom and I did not. We both squirmed and looked away, but I remember him looking at me.

looking away from the screen because he really wanted me to be watching that specific scene. Um That talked my mother into letting me see an American werewolf in London in the theater.

which was interesting to me because she protested. I know she did because of the moondance uh shower scene, but you know, there there was dad kinda

wielding his influence and, you know, pulling me into his corner. So I wasn't sheltered from blood and gore by any stretch. It was

The classic American art paradox in our household. It was like violence is fine, but don't you dare sh show nipples.

But Shogun Assassin had two things that the other bloody movies that I had seen did not. Also, I wanna start with the second thing and thank you so much, Venom, because Shogun Assassin taught me to appreciate the sheer beauty of cinematic arterial spray.

When the blade hits the neck and the blood shoots out like water from an irrigation head, just high pressure.

Thick, pulsing gal, just like the opening scenes of Caddyshack, except the golf course is being watered with mud and there's no dancing gopher.

matters, right? The background matters. Like you have a sword fight in a shallow river by a waterfall so that the blood dissipates into the water like cranberry juice concentrates.

Or you battle in the desert so the red blood pops against the white sand. Or y y you kill a dude in the forest so the blood splatters all over the leaves, right? If you're going to make friggin' blood fountains, you do it somewhere cool.

Because it is different than a regular decapitation. It's not it's not Pamela Voorhees and her cable net sweater grasping at the air as her headless body crumples to the earth. No.

This is a Bon Jovi kill because whoa, you're halfway there. It's disrespectful. It's I don't even care about you enough to go ahead and finish the job.

Just bleed out. Bleed out while the battle continues and let nature reclaim your dwindling body.

Something beautiful about that, and I remember very clearly Deb being a big fan of those scenes, and I get it. They are beautiful, they are grotesque.

But they're also a huge middle finger to the standard rules and conventions of not only samurai or gore movies, but society, you know.

We used to be a proper country. We expected clean kills. Now in the in the The wife of the main character, Ogami Ito, like we talked about, murdered by an enraged Shogunat, so now Ito's a witterer, and their young kid, Daigaro, has no mother.

So in what is maybe the strangest scene of the movie, Ito offers Daigaro, who can barely walk or talk, although Daigaro is KFA, what, four years old, five years old?

But on this scene, he's like still a toddler. He's crawling.

So Ito shows Daigarot a sword and a ball. So if Daigarot chooses the sword, then that means that Ida's gonna take Digro uh Digoro on his buddy quest.

for revenge against his wife's killers. But if Daigar chooses the ball, that means that he isn't ready to take on such an adult responsibility, and Ito will kill him so Daigarot can join his mother in the afterlife.

That's not much of a choice.

It's like asking a puppy if they would rather have a new car or a spatula.

But that's the exact kind of choice that certain fathers place uh before their children, and there's only one correct answer, and it's the one that agrees with the father. So it's

Maybe it's not a choice at all. Digoro crawls towards the sword and his fate is sealed. And it's not like Digoro understands the ramifications of the choice he made. Like I said, he's a toddler. He toddles.

But Ogami Ito demands his son's complete and total allegiance to his life's new cause. So that choice takes the inherent father-son relationship to a different and more dangerous level because now Daigaro is a mercenary, like his father.

And it makes me wonder.

Why my father showed me that?

I'm not implying that Dad was a mercenary who roamed the wilds of Kentucky, cutting the heads off of all the people who wronged him. But I wonder if I was supposed to take away some deeper meaning from Shogun to say a

uh when I was a kid my folks really didn't present a united front as far as parenting. My mother was strict, to put it mildly, and my father was more of a A free spirit, though that's a polite term for that.

From my perspective, my father had the expectation that the world would conform to his desires. Rules were meant to be shattered.

If Ito lived by his own version of the Bushido code, the code of the assassin, then Madad lived by the code.

If there were a sneaky way to get what he wanted, he would do it. If that meant buying one movie ticket and staying at the multiplex all day, that's what he did. If that meant Driving the wrong way up an exit ramp on the interstate to get away from cops because he was driving drunk, he would do it.

And I think that's why that copy of Shogun Assassin was a bootleg, acquired somewhere on 52nd Street, when that still meant something. There was always that unspoken expectation that

that he should be praised for that kind of behavior. Like, oh wow, you got away with it instead of doing things the proper way. Great, great job, Ronin.

So I wonder if he thought of of himself as Ogami Ito, and I wonder if he thought that he had at some point given me a choice to follow him into his weirdness, his dark demon path that he walked so comfortably.

And I wonder if he is disappointed that I chose the ball instead of the sword.

A few years ago I bought Dad, the criterion set y'all were talking about earlier. It's got the little Wolf and Cub movies. And Shogun Assassin is part of that collection as a bonus feature.

And I don't know if he's ever watched it.

İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.

Yeah, um I have no cool interesting story to follow up w with that when it comes to Shogun Assassins. Um I uh assassin. I keep wanting to

pluralize it. I maybe for the sake of all the assassins in this movie.

I mean it's technically correct.

Yeah, yeah, I think it's just natural to call it that. So I think Gary hit on like something briefly at the beginning before he handed us or handed it off to uh

I think there's a lot of purists out there when it comes to the Lone Wolf and Cub movies that think that, you know, maybe this is the wrong way to watch.

uh this product or content, maybe at least they say you should watch the other ones first. And like

I would say ultimately you should watch the l uh the Lone Wolf and Cubs series, the franchise. I guess I think there's six of them.

to see like, you know, how everything plays out, uh, I think, you know, kind of like the slow plays journey. I do think that with the with the truncated presentation of Shogun Assassin,

There are some elements that are removed from the story. I uh I think

The child himself is a little less in peril. I think our our protagonist like is is less maybe in peril than the stories with such. However

I...

Just can't bring myself to care. Like honestly. And like

I love all versions of this. I I love the six movie franchise, which the last I checked, I haven't looked in a while, but I know they were all streaming on

uh Max's criterion section. Yep. Now I know okay, is there still there?'Cause yeah, I know with Max like they

They have a pretty good Criterion section, but stuff does come and go. Where if I think if you sub directly to Criterion channel

Not only is the criterion library bigger for obvious reasons, but I think stuff stays on there longer where Max kind of changes things in and out with their specific section.

Some stuff stays there for like a month and then it's gone, but it's usually the more popular stuff. I have Criterion Channel, that's why I know that.

Okay, yeah. I know I know they just uh

On one of my social media feeds, I saw they just released like the trailer for all the coming soon stuff, so that was pretty cool. Um, but yeah, this uh

Yeah.

Shogun Assassin, it's like I think like eighty five minutes. It's sub ninety minutes and

It's paced incredibly well. It

It doesn't let up. I mean, we start with that great

uh narration kind of to set up where we are at with the story. It gives us everything we need to get the ball rolling.

And from there it's just a series of I'm gonna get my revenge and anyone that gets in my way is going to meet the blade and everybody does and Something that's like incredible watching this is not only is It's fun, it's bloody, it's uh it's just it's it's it's pace.

it doesn't slow down, but you also get to see like what it's influenced. The Masters of Death, I mean

Is that not Carpenter's Three Storms and Big Trouble in Little China? I mean that's pretty undeniable. And it's kind of cool not only it's not only the influence, but it's where the next generation of influence kind of take it because then with the three storms

w they add like supernatural elements to them. So it's just kind of cool how you see the baton pass down. And I know like some directors over others get like flack for this kind of things, but it's like

Every great stands on the shoulders of like previous greats, and everybody seems to be influenced by everyone. And the more films you see where you think like the directors you love the most,

have like a hundred percent originality in everything you do. It's like the more expansive your film watching gets, you just realize like, no, these guys started as like film fans and fanatics themselves and they take elements and it's

I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it it's great and Man, I I feel like i it there's almost not a lot for me to say because it's just 85 minutes of carnage and blood sprays.

and cool characters. I just love how every

Every assassin that presents himself or herself in this movie is like more neat than the previous one. And then yeah, w uh

certain factions show up later in the movie than they're introduced and you just see like the frustration on them that they're they all think they're gonna beat this guy and he just dispatches them like nothing.

And I like the ki I like the style. It's like it's kind of like a more samurai fighting style where it's going for like the

The one or two big death blows, not like extended fight scenes in in that sense where it's like a big, huge back and forth. And

Um yeah, it's just it it it's fun and it's easily it's easily digestible. You can see

You can totally see why they did what they did for the American release. I think this is just something you put out there. Um you kind of eliminate probably some like cultural stuff that's in the more longer form viewing and you just make it a a very simple

Samurai action movie. I mean, you could still say some of like the Western elements are there because he's making like the long track.

to find the shogun to get revenge. But like they really cut down like th they don't even turn this into like one like two hour, two and a half hour epic. It's it's literally like sub ninety minutes just to

get it going and doesn't stop till the credits are rolling. I love the the score. The score of this movie is just super cool. Like

every time it kicks in, it's like you just want to turn your surround sound up and just have it have the neighbors join you and and watching and listening to it. Um Yeah, I mean uh there's not much else for me to say, but

I would say, you know, the purists they would have their arguments of why they might not like arguments, but I disagree. I I think

I think if anything, look at this as a companion piece. Watch this and if you want more of what you see, uh then hit the franchise.

Uh afterwards, watch'em all. Lone Wolf and Cub, Shogun Assassin, they all deserve to be watched at least once.

Although I think this one's gonna be watched over and over just because of how quick and easy it is to get through it. So I'll leave it at that.

Yeah, me for this movie I I seen this for the first time Uh, a boot that my my my friend Brian used to sell and I I never so I've seen the cover other places but I never actually said and washes but it's just um it's a real

like Mike said, a real easily digestible film that sort of feels like a video game'cause the the moment him and his his boy hit the road Everyone around him is an enemy.

So it's just murdering people left and right.

Until until you get like that moment of solace to where they're able to stop at a bathhouse and, you know, get their feet clean and stuff. But besides that, it's it's all it's all business the whole time. And I love his son.

I I love the the use of the cart in the film to where he knows where all the traps are, so he's like he hits the button on on the front handle and the blade comes out and

It's just like a perfect little like little sidekick if I remember cra I've watched watch these films in a long time, but he's a lot more active in the in the other films I think as far as like doing more stuff.

And um but yeah, this film it's it's hard to say y you know you know, apply'cause it's it's basically him him on him on the road with the boy and him dispatching all these enemies and

not really avoiding trouble to to where, you know, I I mentioned Michael Sullivan kinda didn't want that for his son. Uh it's show it's just the Shogun's head decapitator. He made his son choose Kid crawled to the sword.

He he I guess knew but it was probably just more a more of a familiar thing to the boy that the sword was the way to go. I don't know, but at this point I don't care'cause it's just it becomes that film.

The whole time. These killers at the killers coming after them, him just slicing them with with great great gusto and

Arterial spray spray everywhere like like the like the guys mentioned, it's all over the place. And if you like that sort of thing and I and I do uh look for this Velma plenty. It's it's it's everywhere. Um This is a fine

Condensed version of like Mike said, condensed version of the the the first film and a half and

I don't think it's it's a slight against the the the the other films itself uh I hear a lot of folks talk about, you know, the ceiling ones to watch is the original six movies. They won't they won't touch Shogun Assassin.

But you know, for for for a novice or for me for somebody who wants to have a good time for for less than ninety minutes.

And this was the main reason why I chose to do this film, instead of saying, Hey, let's let's watch all six of these things and cover them. It's not a time saver, it's more like a an efficiency thing to say

We're gonna we're gonna enjoy the essence of why this series is so great and I like I mentioned, go go check out the manga too,'cause it's it's pretty great what it's based on and

I'm sure it's has like nice hardcover editions out there that you guys can go purchase and yada yada yada. But um

Yeah, I don't have a whole lot to say. It hasn't been said already. It's just the assassins are really cool. They the three uh the three main bad guys who were kinda there to do bad things, but you know, they don't really

get much play in this film. Uh it doesn't really matter at the end of it really, because The shogun lives up by another day and his son's still alive and the the the love is there to the point of where I guess

My favorite parts of the film is where his son gets captured because he's distracted by potatoes. I can't explain this, but you know, he sees like Hey, somebody left us food and they they said, Yay, now you're kidnapped and get put down a well and

course Shogun shows up and just I mean, uh Shogun's uh Shogun's the captain shows up and just starts starts killing everybody and, you know, he succeeds in e everything and That's what you want to find like the hero just winning all the time and he wins a lot, apparently in the hundred

We don't see a hundred four hundred deaths in this film, but the kid's counting that he's a toddler, so you know, there's that and

It makes me want to go watch the rest of the series. And I have both of these things, Max and Criterion channels. So I I'm gonna make it I'm gonna make a reality very soon. Um I'll leave that at that. Uh Venom final thoughts, sir.

Final thoughts. This movie is fucking amazing. I like I said, I had a great time with it. Very happy that uh I got to watch it. It's gonna go down as an all time favorite. Uh I'm

Going to revisit uh the Lone Wolf and Cub movies that I have seen and check out the ones that I haven't seen so I can be Lone Wolf completely.

Uh but yeah, the uh this movie is great. If you like blood, if you like action, uh if you like a very tenuous father-son relationship, then yeah, I would say Shogun Assassin has a lot to offer, so check it out.

Yeah, this movie's fantastic. I love it ever so much. Um, Criterion Channel does have all six movies and Shogun Assassin if you wanna get into that, but

If you have Tubi, and by golly, who doesn't in the States? There's a Lone Wolf and Cub television series that lasted three seasons.

Just no, don't do it. It's everything that you love about the movies is completely missing from that TV show.

Um it's basically like three seasons of the Crow Stairway to Heaven that Dekaskus

Crow syndicated TV show from the nineties. So yeah, it's a big suckball and please avoid that. Everything else? Yeah, complete. Go, do it now.

D de Coscos is trying in that series to be fair though. Come on now. DeCostos tries at everything, bruv. Even on friggin' Iron Chef America. He did the best he could with what he was given, but

Dang, what no? One day we're gonna come with double dragon, I'd be very happy. She's put it that way.

'Cause it's garbage, I know it is, but you know what? Robert Patrick's high top fade in that film is uh it can't be beat, okay. You know.

Uh Mike, final thoughts, sir.

Yeah, as a standalone Shogun Assassin is a great piece of action cinema.

It is also a great kind of teaser, taster, intro to what Lone Wolf and Cub is all about.

if you watch this and think, wow, that's great and imagine if uh there were six movies like this that give us even more story, more adventure, more peril for our heroes.

You're in luck because there is six mu six full length features that are available um for everyone to watch and there's a whole lot more blood a whole lot more characters and a whole lot more fun to be had, so

I think it's worth your time. In fact I know it's worth your time to at least at the least watch Shogun Assassin. Um I know a six movie franchise is a lot bigger of an undertaking, so If you're just in the mood for eighty five minutes of fun, nonstop.

throw this movie on.

Oh yeah, I agree. But one thing I I'll a s one slight against this movie is that As a if as a standalone film as you say, Mike, it does end kind of abruptly.

But then y once you realize there's more to this series, you don't feel slip ahead about that. So it's that's like, hey, this kinda ended kinda abruptly, but you know what? You're you're you're there for for more of it and there is more of it, so I mean sure, yeah.

Is it?

Is it?

Wu Chang's liquid swords that uses the audio IS.

More than likely. Yeah.

I mean I I I know I they use so many different uh like Shaw Brothers.

On various different albums. I think Liquid Swords uses the opening narration and then various bits and pieces throughout the album.

No, but there is a loves this show. Um was just on again, I think the second time he was on Joe Dante and in um uh podcast uh the movies that made made me uh he was just on there again pushing his um I watched his film too.

Something something chocolate. Um

Full of chocolate.

Yeah. I washed this and it was it it was decent, you know. It got a little preach towards the end, but it it is what it is. Um

Yeah, there is a love to that shit. And I I I love uh Man with the Iron Fists is is a wild experience. Um again a lot a lot of love for the genre he has. Um Lone Wolf and Cub is for the children.

Protect your cob.

Yeah. No, but yeah, it's just again, it it's one of those things from the past I saw when I was probably

fifteen years old they just stuck with me and and just it's it's gonna stay in my my craw forever. And um

I appreciate the filmmakers for this and bringing again, this is the not not something that was not done at the time, bringing this kind of stuff to American audiences, whether it was cut up or something, you know.

I think Golden Harvest um put this thing out.

They're they're they're a co-producer or something, but they put stuff out like the Protector, which was I think was a Golden Harvest and major studio um collaboration. You know, gave us I'd say I'd say the first mainstream view of Jackie Chan in the States was the protector.

I I would say that before before Rumble and the Bronx the Protector happened then This is a notable example of, you know

Br bringing those West Center some some good some good uh arterial spray to put in their eyeballs. And uh I I love it. I love showing assassin for that. But um This is where I'll leave it and um we'll come back and close out the show.

And now Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat. Again nothing.

Presto!

Wrong hat. I take a seven and a half. Now here's something we hope you'll really like.

I don't want to die.

What do I do with you? You know you're not my family or anything. You you're you're just a neighbor's kid, right?

All we want is the book and the key. What you gonna do? Shoot a six-year-old kid on the street?

For Gloria.

is always getting closer.

And getting closer is always the danger.

20?

Glory!

Maybe we can do something.

Trust you.

Hey Tony, I know you.

Where is the boy?

I wanna go home.

Don't be stupid. You got no help. You got me. I understand. You are a woman. He is a little boy. You fall in love. Every woman is a mother.

You love him.

I love Phil. Do you love me?

How can I...

resist you. Hey, I don't like this kid. We need the boy.

I'm gonna get up, walk out of here now.

If you want to stop again.

and all those great times

Gloria.

Come on. Oh, I'd love it.

Don't hang back. I'd love

I got a six year old.

Whole family.

Murdered by you, Fox.

Go ahead, trend.

Okay?

Y a let a woman beat ya! Y a little tiny nothing!

All right guys, this is uh it's been your Father's Day episode and I'm I'm glad to say we had a good time talking about fathers and you know All kinds of stuff of of the sorts and, you know, blood stuff.

Uh uh.

We all have stuff coming, yeah. I'm sure we'll we'll talk about it right now. Uh X uh ha h how's uh how's the new baby rolling along there, as re as I'll say right now.

Very slow.

Yeah.

It has been busy, busy, busy work wise, so as soon as we can we will

present the thing to you. Um

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, we just take things a day to time anymore. Um I'm I'm here every once in a while when I can be, so I'm at Tenderbrae Wyatt on Blue Sky and that's pretty much the only

social media that I run with anymore, but yeah, keep watching the skies, I guess. Yes, indeed. Maybe Sebu will show up, you know.

Bruv.

With the barbed wire steel chairman, you know. Heck yeah. Oh my god.

Oh my God.

Or um I can't do a Joey Style scream, but oh my god. Uh Venom, what you got coming up, sir?

All right. For me, uh, the latest thing I have coming up is uh No More Room in Hell Presents Creature Comforts, episode fifty-one.

I am still in the process of editing that, so it'll probably be out a few days after you hear this episode. But on that one, we took a look at.

Well, we celebrated Kai June, and of course we looked at nineteen fifty-six's Rodan, the original appearance of Rodan.

Of the big three, uh the original Godzilla, Mothra and Rodan, Rodan being one of the more maligned of the three, but

If you listen to the episode, you're gonna get uh a lot of love for this movie. Uh so yeah, definitely check that out when it's available. Like I said, probably a few days after you hear this.

That one will be available at the very least on YouTube and then shortly after that on all your podcast catchers.

And I'll let Mike talk about the stuff that we do together. And uh so that's pretty much it for me. No guest appearances other than this one to speak of. Uh, but yeah.

Uh I I'm just uh as Mike knows, I'm working a lot. I've been working a lot over the last couple of months'cause I'm back in the retail game after spending twenty six years in software engineering. So

I'm very busy lately. So yeah, my movie watching has suffered and my podcasting has suffered. But we'll keep plugging away and um like I said, I'll let Mike talk about the stuff that we do together. And that's it for me.

Yeah. What Venom's referring to is Fresh Cuts, our weekly horror podcast where we talk about twenty

Twenty six releases, so keep an eye on that. The latest episode that went up a couple of days ago is uh Kraken. Is it it's Norwegian, right, Venom? Norwegian? Yes, sir.

Yep. Yeah. So uh Norwegian monster movie. Um so check that out. Uh also the main show No More Room in Hell where we kinda pair up a couple

horror movies with some type of similar theme. And it's your more general show where you

You would

We'll catch up on what we're watching, talk about any genre news that hit And just general conversation before we get into our movies that we aim to make it like bi-monthly, but you know, we're all old and have obligations, so sometimes it slips to like once a month.

Uh the next one should be recording soon. I think it was originally gonna be this Sunday, but with the revelation that, hey, uh it's Father's Day, maybe it'll get postponed a week, but we'll we'll figure that out.

And that's all that's active now. I it's funny because with Venom and Gary here, I have

the co hosts where we actually talk about a Friday the thirteenth and a nightmare at Olm Street TV show. Um we just haven't done that either one in a while, but those are still technically alive, just on life support at the moment. But uh maybe We'll find time to get back to those

And uh what else? That's that's about it. I I mean the last time I've done a guest appearance

It's been too too long to even worry about bringing up here. But if uh any of that sounds interesting to you, you can find it all on the No More Room in Hell uh YouTube channel or Dark Discussions Network. And uh I think that's it.

Yeah, this show uh last call of torches uh you can use both in the butcher shop feed, uh in in your ear holes and also on the Legion YouTube channel. That that's all there too, Legion Podcasts, but uh For uh released uh a jolt of news this week that our our

boss, you know, same as same as the new boss, Mr. Bo ranstal.

Maybe coming back with Dark Parade again in our Yeah. Our our uh our boy uh coming back to do that.

He uh found his way out of wandering the desert.

Yeah, I wonder what the hell he's been doing, man. Yeah, but I I I I keep wondering to hit up they you feel like getting do getting the microphone back on again, brother, and doing something? But you know, it's that's uh

Yeah, this show, um, been going great, so I'm very, very grateful for the folks involved and helping us get k push content out. Um

Uh, sideshows. Maybe in the fall Mike will start burning for springwurning for springwork back up again'cause Suzanne's very distant in the summertime and

as far as like the Cubs go and yada yada yada. I don't wanna I don't wanna go there, to put it that way. But um I always had a dream of a of a side cast, um That will probably start right about now, which probably won't happen this year, maybe next year.

That's uh the thing about sidecasts is they're super fun, but they're easily usually the lowest priority. So it it it's never a surprise when they kinda get put on the back burner when like everyone's time gets constricted. So no worries on that.

Big big one that uh series I love from when I was uh pre teen into a teenager was Adventures of Pete and Pete and have always in been always intrigued to uh to do a waiting for October uh retrospective for the Adventures of Pete and Pete one day, like two episodes at a time and

That's a film that's been marred by music rights and so the D V D s DVDs are are are few and far in between, but

I've always enjoyed the adventures of Pete and Pete's younger brother Pete and, you know, already the strongest man in the world, all all the shit. It's just uh one day uh that that may happen, but um

Until then, listen to this show. We're next up um very very soon. I'm not sure if we're doing this next week or not, but'cause we we get three people. We'll talk about it.

It's an episode where I Rye dislike white folks very, very much. And you know, I know what you're thinking, Gare's white, you know, but I'm more of a dark skinned cracker at this point from where I come from. Uh

We're doing another Zon episode to where we do we think the Steve Zahn deserves better friends. We're doing it with reality bites.

And not the punk rock one, but the Richard Link later, uh, Suburbia from from the nineties.

And um yeah, I'm a I'm ever have a great time just just tearing apart people in i in those those movies because I I really hate the

So there's that. So spoilers, there may be some ex style ranting i in those in those reviews. Um But Steve Zon's call in those movies, so there's that, yeah.

Um that that and a whole lot more on the next Cinema Beef Podcast and this we'll leave you this has been your Cinemabeef Podcast, but if you've got beef, we've got the grinder. See you next time.

How about it?

Easy po

Pork sandwich served in a dirty ash.